Trauma and Transformation - "Go Write Your Song: Reclaiming Your God-Given Identity"
This is the 8th and final talk in an 8-week class called "Trauma and Transformation, Level 1". The course takes a bio-psycho-socio-spiritual approach to healing. Both Christians and non-Christians are welcome. This is a reflection time of about 10 minutes that occurs in the class, before the remaining time which is spent in trauma education - helping people understand the impact of trauma on the mind and on all of life.
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I want to talk today about Identity. What we believe about ourselves connects to our sense of our Identity. Who you are. Who I am. Identity is a big deal.
A lot of attention is given to various types of identity in the media and on social media. Universities have whole curriculums that talk about this subject, and that’s because identity really matters.
We’ve seen the odd phenomenon recently of people appropriating aspects of the identity of others.
Most noticeable and alarming to say the least recently has been politicians who have said, to gain some advantage, that they have first nations blood.
So whether it's a power ploy or if its a mental health issue, or if it’s just a deep struggle with who we are as person, issues of identity crop up often.
And the search for identity is legit. It’s one of those pieces of the puzzle when we think about trying to figure out who we are and why we are here, when we are trying to sort ourselves out, as we look at questions of purpose and meaning.
It’s a big existential question - questions about being alive - one of those things lots of folks struggle with as they sort through questions about the meaning of life; and, honestly, too many people never come up with an answer,...or at least an answer that has the potential to satisfy their questions.
I’ve known people who spent their whole lives asking questions about the meaning of life, who never landed anywhere;
on their deathbed they had no answer, and that did not bring them any sense of comfort as they were passing.
They never did figure out why they were here, why they suffered as they did; what was the point of it all.
And even when we’re open to not just asking those questions but expecting that an answer can be found, sadly our answers can wind up being very surfacey, very much NOT revealing much about us.
We end up knowing very little about who we are, why we matter, how it is that our lives have value.
We’re all familiar with the social convention of meeting a new person at an event, and asking them: So what do you do?
And most us have been trained to answer by talking about our jobs or if we’re not currently working about our families or hobbies or such. But we know that there’s more.
A big part of personal growth and healing, in my experience, is connected to becoming settled in our identity as human beings. Who are we, what are we about, what do we stand for?
It’s connected to finding a foundation for our lives that’s solid enough to hold us up when the storms come.
So many of us have received so many negative messages in our lives. Those messages, often spoken by those who cared for us as children, really hurt us.
We heard that we weren’t valuable. As the youngest of 4 kids in my family, I often heard that I was just an annoyance.
Sometimes early those messages, that negative messaging, from people whose role should have been to encourage and teach us, have been reinforced in our adult lives.
We can sometimes still hear echos of the criticism and harsh words if we are still enough.
But here’s the thing: somehow, those messages need to be overwritten. That’s putting it mildly. They need to be blown apart.
The messaging needs to change. Who we are is an ongoing story, and that story of who we are and what we are becoming needs to find space to breathe, so we’re not stuck living by those old, hurtful messages. We need a new understanding.
Spirituality was a concept developed a lot by the apostle Paul as he wrote a bunch of the letters in the New Testament of the Bible, where He talked a lot about the human spirit and the Spirit of God.
And Paul really seemed convinced that spirituality has something to say to us about identity.
Very briefly, Paul wrote: “The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children.” Romans 8:16. Paul shows that true spiritual identity comes from the Spirit of God affirming deep within us who we truly are—beloved children of God.
He also said: “What we have received is not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God, so that we may understand what God has freely given us.” Spirituality, for Paul, means receiving God’s Spirit, through faith in Jesus Christ, which gives us insight into grace, identity, and purpose.
And lastly, very briefly, Paul said: “Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit.” Galatians 5:25 (NIV) Paul emphasizes that a spiritual life isn’t just internal—it’s lived out daily, with the Spirit guiding our actions and direction.
Three essential parts of developing and resting secure in our identity are: Acceptance, Security, Significance.
Acceptance: No one wants NOT to be accepted. Even for those few people who live completely isolated lives by choice, those folks, I’ve noticed, tend to have pets.
My uncle, who lived as a hermit for 40 years, smoking weed and living in the wilderness of Quebec, he made friends with local wildlife. He needed someone to talk to.
We need to exist in some form of reciprocal relationship, some form of give and take. It’s a human need to belong.
It’s a human need to be embraced for who we are. And that’s right and good. There’s no shame attached to that.
Security: When we’re not secure, we’re living to survive only.
When we’re living to survive, we’re living for the sake of living only, and while that works for the majority of the animal kingdom, that is not enough for us.
We need security. We need to know where we stand. Am I standing on solid ground? If a storm comes, will I be blown away?
Is my boat anchored, is my life grounded in something that will allow me to thrive in life no matter what happens around me?
Significance: We need to feel like our lives matter, that we matter. Sometimes people say that they need to justify their existence or the footprint they have on the planet by making some sort of contribution.
How does my life matter? When we don’t feel that way, when we feel like our lives don’t matter, that leads to despair and despair leads to painful places that we don’t want to go.
WHO AM I:
Now today you will each receive a personalized document highlighting the very positive and joyful affirmations that come from exploring and making discoveries in this relationship with our Creator.
Each one is connected to a Scripture passage that you can look up and study for yourself.
Those who are on a different spiritual path can reference this perhaps for what has the potential to become key to their identity, should they choose to explore the spiritual path I’m describing.
Other spiritual paths perhaps lead to other answers about identity, but I’m not particularly knowledgeable of them.
Though I am very respectful of them, and I have friends and colleagues I’ve worked with from all the major religions, mostly in sports chaplaincy, who I honour for their character and service to others and for living out their faith.
Again, the affirmation document you will receive (with your name all over it) about identity are true of those who are on a spiritual journey with Jesus
as the One we look to for truth and meaning and how to live a purposeful life, those who embrace the Way of Jesus and the person of Jesus personally.
As I said before those among us who are on a different spiritual path can reference this document that you will receive as information about what can become key to their identity, should they choose to explore the spiritual path I’m describing.
And again, other spiritual paths perhaps lead to other answers which though I am respectful of, I don’t know much about.
Finally, a while back I took a songwriting and music production course with a top pro in the States, in order to update me as I launched into doing a fair bit of music production that occupies a fair bit of my time.
After each lesson with this top producer and songwriter, which was really intense and interesting, he said: “Go and write your song.
Sitting in a lesson and learning stuff is one thing, but that alone won’t get you where you wanna get to.
Doing it is a completely different thing that’s necessary for something new and wonderful to happen. Go write your song”.
Positive affirmations grounded in a spiritual identity, when we really invest deeply in them, spending time reflecting and studying as I have described, can bring about massive positive transformation in your life.
My hope is that increasingly, you think well of yourself. In my experience, God sure does. So go, and write your song!
[If you wish to have the Identity in Christ document or template, please email me at matthewwardparker@gmail.com]
