Henri Nouwen, a Dutch priest once remarked: “When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares.” Proverbs 18:24 reminds us: “A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.”
Friendship is the bond that unites. It is defined as a valued state of regard, mutual trust, and support between two or more people, which can include a special relationship with God. It invokes positive feelings of affection, admiration, and care for another, encompassing a desire for their equal well-being and happiness. As such, it might be considered the right outstretched hand of God. This empathy is often demonstrated through acts of kindness, help, and shared experiences.
Friendship is widely considered important for overall contentment and a fulfilling life. Friendships provide companionship, support, and love, which are essential for emotional health and can even contribute to physical well-being. Having strong social connections has been linked to lower risks of depression, high blood pressure, and unhealthy conditions of weight. Friendship is considered a community of love. It often encapsulates a deep level of emotional connection and intimacy. While not all friendships need the involvement of romance, they still represent a distinctive form of love that provides support, belonging, and joy.
A "community of love" generally refers to a group of people connected by shared values, goals, or experiences, where love and care become the core of interactions and relationships. It can be a family, a church, a neighborhood, or any group where individuals feel a strong sense of belonging and mutual support. The concept emphasizes the importance of love, compassion, and empathy in fostering healthy and thriving communities.
A prominent biblical example of friendship is the story of David and Jonathan. Jonathan, the son of King Saul, and David formed a deep bond, even though David was destined to replace Saul as king, creating potential conflict. Despite this, Jonathan loved David as himself and made a covenant with him, demonstrating loyalty and sacrifice. 1 Samuel 18:1-5 confirms: “As soon as he had finished speaking to Saul, the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul. And Saul took him that day and would not let him return to his father's house. Then Jonathan made a covenant with David, because he loved him as his own soul. And Jonathan stripped himself of the robe that was on him and gave it to David, and his armor, and even his sword and his bow and his belt. And David went out and was successful wherever Saul sent him, so that Saul set him over the men of war. And this was good in the sight of all the people and also in the sight of Saul's servants.”
Many religions, particularly Christianity, describe a relationship with God as one of friendship, emphasizing love, trust, and guidance. Friendship with God is often considered unique and distinct from human friendships. While it shares some characteristics like intimacy and mutual love, the nature of God as the Creator and ultimate authority fundamentally shapes its relationship. It's a relationship built on God's wishes, requiring humility and recognizing our dependence on Him as the source of reconciliation and grace. Dependence on God, in religious and spiritual contexts, refers to the reliance and trust in a higher power for guidance, strength, and provision in all aspects of life. It's a belief that one's well-being and success are ultimately contingent on the will and power of God. This concept is prominent in various faiths, including Christianity and Islam, where it is often linked to concepts like faith, grace, and submission to divine will. Friendship is generally regarded to be a two-way street. Sometimes there may be a central reservation that divides the cross-flow, but this signifies and reassures an element of safety or caution from choosing the wrong people in life who are perhaps insincere in their offerings and may lead astray.
A healthy and fulfilling friendship involves mutual give and take, where both individuals contribute to the relationship and benefit from it. This doesn't necessarily dictate a perfect 50/50 balance, but rather a general sense of reciprocity and support. It commits to understanding differing views and acceptance as an individual right. It allows special bonds to form and becomes the foundation stone to love and compassion. Friendships, at their core, involve mutual care, support, and appreciation, which are all elements of love and compassion. Friendships foster empathy, allowing individuals to connect with each other's emotions and experiences, further nurturing compassion. Compassion is considered a core attribute of God and a quality that humans are encouraged to emulate. The concept of divine compassion is considered a prominent feature in Christianity and many other faiths.
The shared experiences, laughter, and even heartbreak within friendships can deepen affiliations and cultivate a love that is both unique and powerful. The unique alliance in friendship is characterized by a combination of voluntary choice, shared experiences, mutual understanding, and unconditional support. It's a relationship built on freedom and intimacy, where friends offer emotional support and acceptance without the societal pressures of other relationships, it may be commensurate to the special bond that a mother usually has with her child. This connection is often characterized by an unspoken understanding, deep trust, and a willingness to be vulnerable. Isaiah 49:15-16 reminds us: “Can a woman forget her nursing child, that she should have no compassion on the son of her womb? Even these may forget, yet I will not forget you. Behold, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands; your walls are continually before me.”
Albert Einstein, a German-born theoretical physicist once remarked: “A human being is a part of the whole called by us universe, a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feeling as something separated from the rest, a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty.”
Companionship offers numerous benefits, primarily enhancing mental and physical well-being by reducing loneliness and isolation. It provides emotional support, improves mood, and can even lower the risk of certain health issues. Companionship also encourages social interaction, which can positively impact cognitive function and overall quality of life. Even the most powerful need friendship. Jesus had friends. While his disciples are well-known, the Gospels also depict Jesus having close friendships with individuals like Lazarus, Mary, and Martha, and he also interacted with and showed care for a wider circle of people. Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 emphasizes the benefits of companionship and teamwork. It highlights that two people working together can achieve more, support each other, and withstand challenges more effectively than someone alone. The passage uses vivid imagery like falling, warming, and being overpowered to illustrate the advantages of having a companion or partner in life. It reminds us: “Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him - a threefold cord is not quickly broken.”
Amen.
