Annual Sermons Volume 1 (Part 1)
Bob Marcaurelle
bmarcaurelle@charter.net
2003 Lynn Ave, Anderson, SC 29621
Sermon 5
DEALING WITH CHILDISHNESS (1 Cor. 13:11)
(My most requested radio sermon)
“When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child; when I became a man, I gave up childish ways.”
Children are beautiful people. When Jesus saw His disciples clamoring for honor, He set a child in their midst to illustrate the beautiful humility He desired and admired. Jesus said of children, “Of such is the Kingdom of Heaven.” Childlikeness is a beautiful virtue. But there is an ugly side to childhood.
It is the childishness which sets self at the center of everything, and this is the exact opposite of love as described in First Corinthians thirteen. One of the worst things we can do to ourselves and to others is to refuse to grow up. The runaway bestseller “I’m OK, You’re OK” says the we go through life with three people inside us telling us what to do. We are at one and the same time, Child, Parent and Adult. The Adult in us forces us to react intelligently. The Parent in us forces us to react out of fear or pressure from some authority figure. The Child in us forces us to react in childish ways that worked for us when we were preschoolers. It is when childish behavior dominates that the results are disastrous. It is disastrous for the individual himself.
Dr. John JB Morgan of Northwestern University, says, “Most of the patients in mental hospitals are people whose bodies are mature but whose emotions are infantile...Sanity depends on emotional maturity more than anything else.” A world famous counselor admitted, “Most of my unhappiness is due to childishness. I am trying to do a man’s work with a child’s emotions.”
Childishness is also disastrous for the church. The worst church in the New Testament was the First Baptist Church of Corinth. They argued and fought and split into groups and it was to them that Paul said, “When I became a man, I put away childish things.” (1 Cor. 13) But worst of all childishness is disastrous for the home.
Here grown up babies do more damage than anywhere else. Dr. Loften Hudson says, “There are probably more homes broken because of childish conduct on the part of adults than for any other reason.” If you left three children in your home unattended for three hours, can you imagine what your home would look like? Well, if you put four grown up babies in a home the results are the same. They will not tear at each other’s souls. They will not spill ink on the carpet, but they will make ugly marks on one another. Childishness by mothers and fathers and young people can make a home a horrible, harmful, hellish place.
And thus we understand why the Bible condemns childish behavior and encourages us to grow up. When Paul wrote First Corinthians to a selfish, childish church, he wrote what many consider his finest chapter, the love chapter and this love is the exact opposite of childishness. Thus we find ourselves today at the very heart of Christian behavior. Childishness is the exact opposite of what it means to be a Christian. How?
A. A CHILD CRIES EASILY FOR THE WRONG REASONS.
No child has to be taught how to cry. They are experts in the turning on of tears. And why do they cry? For one and only one reason,- for themselves. Their toe hurts; their doll broke; their plans were interrupted. No child cries over somebody else’s toe.
At Six Flags yesterday, I saw a little boy, about eight years old, who had neither the use of his arms or legs. His parents propped him in a little boat and I watched as he leaned forward and range the little bell on the boat with his teeth. I had to turn away from the parents and brush back the tears. My two girls did not cry. A child knows nothing of that kind of crying. Tears for others must be taught. My girls, however, both cried a little later when we told them it was time to go home. Children will not cry over a crippled youngster, but they will cry at the drop of a hat for themselves.
Pass this over into adult life and you have the chronic complainers. You have big old cry babies for whom nothing goes right. They complain about the weather, their health, their home, their church and everything else. This little jingle describes them-
Nothing goes right for the folks you meet/ Who make their home on Complaining Street/If all went well there is no doubt/They’d gripe about nothing to complain about.
This does not mean we should teach our children, “big boys don’t cry.” Big boys and girls should and do cry. Jesus cried and Paul cried and the Ephesian pastors cried when they knew they would never see Paul again. (Acts 20) What it means is our tears should be transformed into the right kind of tears. We should weep primarily for others rather than ourselves. We should weep more over our sins than our inconveniences.
B. A CHILD CRAVES ATTENTION
A child loves the center of the stage and its favorite words are “look at me.” That is why children drag all their toys before you. That is why they won’t let you talk to their parents without interrupting. That is even why they disobey most of the time. The pain of a spanking is worth the pleasure of being the center of attention. Dr. Fosdick spoke of a little girl named Edith who was surrounded by four countries - on the North by Edith, the South by Edith, the East by Edith and the West by Edith.
In adults this is one of the ugliest of traits. It characterized the Pharisees who loved the chief seats, the conspicuous offering plates and public prayers. In our day when a teenager drives 120 mph he calls himself a man, but he is really a big baby saying, “Look at me.” When a girl wears a dress that takes away all the mystery, she thinks she is being sophisticated, but she is just a big baby saying, “Look at me.” When a husband and father spends all of his time at the office and neglects his family and himself, he thinks he is being industrious, but he is really craving attention from his peers, saying “Look at me!” When a mother joins every other club and group that comes along and feeds her family a steady diet of TV dinners, she thinks she is being civic minded, but she is just a big baby saying, “Look at me.”
We see this ugly trait in church life. Preachers are all too often prima donnas who feel their presence makes or breaks a gathering. Many people break their back in church work not because they love the Lord, but because they love the limelight. And this is behind many of our testimonies. Young Christians love to parade their experience and put themselves forward. Jesus tells us to take the back seat and if He wants us at the front He will bring us up. Test your motives. Too much of what I do and you do is just a childish way of being in the limelight. Let us remember what Jesus said, “Whoever exalts himself will be abased, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted.” One of my favorite sayings is,
“If you let your light shine, God will put it where it can be seen.”
C. A CHILD HAS LITTLE GRATITUDE.
Learning to be a father, my hardest lesson was accepting the fact that no matter how much you do for a child, it is never enough. If you give them eleven, they want twelve. Appreciation does not come naturally for a child, it must be taught. Life’s blessings are looked upon as a matter of course and few children will say to a mother who has been up with them half the night, “Thank you.” We see this ingratitude in those spiritual “Lone Ranger Christians” who isolate themselves from the church, forget what it has done for them, and pick it to pieces by exposing its flaws. No man ever found his way to Christ on his own. Behind the hermit’s faith is the work and witness of the church. All hermits, ancient and modern, owe a debt of gratitude to the church. The Lone Ranger Christian did not write his Bible or translate it or print it. His Bible was given him by his church. Most of our critics are grown up children too proud to admit their debt.
We see this ingratitude in those church neurotics who feel they should be visited and petted and begged to be faithful to their church. You can never do enough to please them. Their desire for attention is insatiable and the visit they always remember is the one the pastor or the teacher or the deacon or the friend failed to make. The kind words they remember are the ones we forget to say. Such people have short memories and little sense of real gratitude. They forget the calls and concern and prayers and remember the failures. They are “big old babies” reflecting upon what is due them instead of being grateful for what has been done for them.
We see this ingratitude in teenagers who feel their parents “owe” them this high standard of luxury we enjoy in America. They feel parents owe them a car, fine clothes and a college education. If they can’t keep up with their friends they blame their parents. If they have to go to work to keep up, they blame their parents. Ungrateful for life and love and comforts, far beyond what the majority of people in the world enjoy, modern teens are miserable, because they see only what they don’t have and are not grateful for what they do have.
D. A CHILD FEELS LITTLE RESPONSIBILITY
Children’s lives are directed by the words “want to” and “have to” not by the word “ought to”. Most things they do because they want to; some things they do because they have to; but precious little do they ever do because they ought to. Childishness is characterized by little sense of obligation. When mother announces that company is coming, how many children, without being told, will stop playing and begin to pick up their toys and clean their room and give themselves a bath and thus help their mother?
A child’s mind just doesn’t run in that groove.Let this pass over into adult life and the results are disastrous. When men and women do only what they want to do or are forced to do, very little gets done. A forgotten word today is responsibility and precious few are left who do things they dislike because they are right. Fathers, you may have an obligation to your wife and children to give them more help and more time. Mothers, you may have to endure the drudgery of housework you hate, because you have an obligation to your husband and children. If you run away from responsibilities and always do what you like, you will never find happiness. You will find only shame and guilt and depression and the loss of self respect. The path to true happiness is found in these words which we should all memorize and repeat every single morning.
“The secret of a happy life is not doing what you like to do, but liking what you have to do.”
E. A CHILD IS SELFISH
All we have thought about today is summed up in the word “selfish.” Theologians argue about the root sin in human nature that brought about the fall of man. To me, that sin was selfishness, the desire above all else to please self. This is the bitter root from which all sin proceeds. This is the malignancy in human nature and we can see it in our children from the moment they are born. If you don’t believe this, just go home and pick up a toy to give it to the Salvation Army. You will see the sparks of hell itself flashing in their little eyes. With murderous glances, I have seen my children and yours grab toys away from their friends and say, “mine” with a viciousness that is unbelievable.
A little rhyme says it well, “I had a little tea party this afternoon at three/ ‘Twas very small, three guests in all - just I, myself and me/ Myself ate up the sandwiches, while I drank up the tea/ ‘Twas also I who ate the pie, and passed the cake to me. We all have this tendency to live in a world all our own and measure everything by what it does for us.
Preachers can work hard, not because they love people, but because they love the praise that comes with success. Parents can work hard for their children not because they love them, but because they love the happiness their children bring them. This selfishness comes out when those children leave home and get married and fathers and mothers inwardly resent the one who takes them away and even make their children feel guilty for leaving.
Few of us realize how even our finest acts are often marred by the slime of selfishness. Maturity comes when the wishes of others become more important than our own. The young people and dad look for ways to make life better for mother. The young people and mother look for ways to make life better for dad. Mothers and fathers do all they can, to give their children a happy home, while they have them. This does not mean we become doormats and never do little things for ourselves. The mature person knows that he too has needs which must be met. We need to be kind to ourselves and yes, to even pamper ourselves sometimes, but this is not to be priority number one. And thus we see why the sin of childishness is mentioned in the chapter on agape love. Childishness, which puts self on top, is the exact opposite of love, which puts others on top. When, through the power of the Holy Spirit, we can say, “God first, other second and self last,” we are well on our way to loving, we are putting away childish things.
