I just read a headline in Deutsche Welle news which read “Germany sees uptick in people living alone.” Single-person households are already the most common household type in Germany, making up over 40% of the total. Loneliness is most common among those under 30. But this trend isn’t unique to Germany - people who move to big cities hoping to connect are increasingly living alone and feeling alone and isolated. Scandanavia is around 42%.
One global company seeking to remedy the increasing loneliness people are experiencing is called RentAFriend. You can rent a friend, a date, and even a domestic animal for a day for sports events, weddings, shopping, travel, etc., advertised as a platonic friendship. However, I looked to see if you could rent a friend in Vienna and what came up? “Sorry, there are no results in this area.”
What this search for friendship and companionship reveals to me is that we were made to connect, we are made for community. This is why, I believe, people enjoy creating events that promote community, which have a common purpose or goal, whether it’s a gathering like today, or sports events, film festivals, family reunions. Even most of the introverts I have known personally over the years want community of some sort (though maybe in a more limited timeframe). Though virtual communities such as voice calling, group calling, and online messaging can provide valuable social support and connection, more and more research reveals that live communities often foster stronger relationships, deeper engagement, a greater sense of community and belonging, improved mental health and reduced loneliness.
In-person interactions promote better well-being and are essential for feeling truly connected and supported. That’s why in this day and age there is such a need and a hunger for authentic fellowship, not in a superficial platonic way but in a deep, profound way that not only gives a person a sense of belonging but where they find their purpose in life. Fellowship on a deeper level is where people love and support others and are loved and supported.
This is simply a reflection of the Triune God designed us for fellowship. The Trinity - Father, Son, and Holy Spirit have perfect fellowship with each other and created us to have fellowship with them and with each other through His Son Jesus (I Cor 1:9). This type of fellowship, the fellowship for which we were originally designed, is only possible for those who embrace God’s offer of grace, that is His full payment for their sins. Our sin separated us from God and fellowship with Him, so Jesus Himself paid for our debt of sin so we could be brought back into relationship with God.
After bringing us back into relationship with Himself, God places us into His family so that we who have the same faith in Him can have fellowship with each other (1 Jn 1:3). He placed us in the body of Christ, the local church, which is the place where all kinds of expressions of our common faith and life in Christ can be lived out (Rom 1:12). This is where real fellowship happens and just like salvation is a gift, so is the body of Christ, His church.
The Apostle Paul describes this type of fellowship in the book of Philippians:
If there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort provided by love, any fellowship in the Spirit, any affection or mercy, 2 complete my joy and be of the same mind, by having the same love, being united in spirit, and having one purpose. 3 Instead of being motivated by selfish ambition or vanity, each of you should, in humility, be moved to treat one another as more important than yourself. 4 Each of you should be concerned not only about your own interests, but about the interests of others as well. 5 You should have the same attitude toward one another that Christ Jesus had, (Phil 2:1-5).
This diverse international community in Philippi had weathered some storms because of the persecution of the church and they stayed strong through it. But now they were facing some storms from within which had the potential to divide them as a church. Paul, who was in prison for his faith at the time, reminded them about what they had experienced as the community. He was saying, with the same encouragement and support you received from Christ Himself, come alongside those who need comfort and support.
Jesus is saying to us today, just as I have comforted you in your darkest moments, in your discouragement and failures, have this same attitude of coming alongside others. Since you have the same faith, the same father in heaven, you have the same mind and love of Christ, the same unity and purpose, you can come close to someone else and speak gentle words that bring hope and joy to a depressed and discouraged heart. The word comfort is apicture of a parent who leans down to speak into the er of the child to comfort them. Since all of you have His Spirit, you have the same life, you have the same heart, you have His thoughts, feelings, and love for each other - in humility, treat each other as more important than yourselves.
In community we share our joys so others can rejoice with us, and we share our burdens and sorrows with others because God didn’t create us to do life alone (1 Cor 12:26; Gal 6:2). Paul also wrote in Romans 12 to the community of believers: When God’s people are in need, be ready to help them. Don’t be too proud to enjoy the company of ordinary people, always be eager to practice hospitality and to contribute to the needs of others.
John MacArthur, who just went to be with the Lord last week said: Unexpressed love is useless love. If we never express our love for one another then how will others know that you love them, how will they know the love of God in real time.
Jesus said,
By this everyone will know that you are My disciples, if you have love and unselfish concern for one another (Jn 13:35 AMP).
Being in the same community or church family doesn’t spare us from friction and conflict - every family experiences friction. It’s inevitable. But the question is what are we fighting about? Why are we making such a big deal over it? How do we handle it? Is it motivated by selfish ambition, wanting things your own way? Often friction happens when we have the wrong focus or fight over the wrong things. When people experience the pain of conflict most just leave the church and never work through it, never mature, never find victory. Church Colson observed that many years ago Scottland had few evangelical churches to run to when there was a conflict in the church so people stayed, fought, made up and went on with their lives as a result the church grew stronger and could weather far more storms together.
Paul said Rom 1:12 When we get together, I want to encourage you in your faith, but I also want to be encouraged by yours. We help each other to stay focused on what is most important that means iron sharpening iron. The Scriptures instruct us to gently correct those living outside of God’s will, encourage those who have small capacities, help the weak, and be patient with them all (1 Thess 5:14). The writer of Hebrews said:
Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works. And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near (Heb 10:24-25).
The purpose for our community events and life groups go deeper than surface friendship and companionship. Go deeper than just getting together to enjoy food and talk about the weather and hobbies. Any organization, social club, or society can do this. The purpose of the church is to fulfill God’s mission on this earth and to make God known through community. Our purpose is to glorify God and to show the world, through our love, care and concern for each other, that God is real. The church is a gift that we shouldn’t take for granted.
Many of you have heard of Dietrich Bohnhoffer, Lutheran pastor, theologian, who spoke out against the Nazi’s was arrested by the Nazi SS in 1943. He spent 2 years being moved from prison to prison losing all contact with the outside world before his death in April of 1945. He had written many books and one of them was called, Life Together, which was written before his imprisonment. He wrote,
The physical presence of other Christians is a source of incomparable joy and strength to the believer. It is easily forgotten that the community of Christians is a gift of grace from the kingdom of God, a gift that can be taken from us any day—that the time still separating us from the most profound loneliness may be brief indeed. Therefore, let those who until now have had the privilege of living a Christian life together with other Christians praise God’s grace from the bottom of their hearts. Let them thank God on their knees and realize: it is grace, nothing but grace, that we are still permitted to live in the community of Christians today.”
In closing, we don’t have to do life alone and we won’t survive on platonic relationships. Here is my question for you.
1. How important is it to have godly friendships?
2. How important is to be a godly friend? What does that mean?
3. Are you encouraging others in their faith?
4. How are you reflecting your fellowship with the Father?
5. Are you helping others stay focused on what is most important?
6. Is there someone in your life that encourages you in your faith – someone who points you back to Jesus – someone that sharpens your life in Christ?
