LIVING A LIFE OF UNCONDITIONAL LOVE
By: C. Mason Davis
A pastor from a small town was asked to preach at a church while their pastor was away. This church had more members than he’d seen in any one place before. He was pretty nervous and even more so just minutes before the service was to start. He realized that he’d forgotten his teeth back at the hotel room. Panicked, he sought out the associate pastor and told him of the problem. “I can’t preach without teeth,” he said. The associate pastor thought for a second and then told the pastor he’d be right back. He told Brother Jones of the problem and Brother Jones said he might have a solution. Five minutes later he came back to the study with Brother Jones in tow. Brother Jones pulled a set of dentures out of a pocket and gave them to the pastor. The pastor put them in his mouth, but they were too small. “They don’t fit,” he said. Brother Jones took them back and reached into a different pocket and handed another pair to the pastor. “These fit perfectly,” the pastor said. Even better than his own teeth, he thought. He went to the altar and gave the best sermon of his life. Afterwards, he sought out Brother Jones to thank him. “Brother Jones,” he said, “I’d like to know where your office is, I’ve been looking for a new dentist.” Brother Jones looked at him with a confused look on his face and said, “But I’m not a dentist, I’m a Funeral Director.”
TODAY’S SCRIPTURE
1 Corinthians 13:4-7, "Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things."
Love takes effort. Just like a smile takes more facial muscles to smile than it does to frown. Unconditional love takes faith. Faith in Christ, faith in yourself, and faith in those that you love, as well as trust. 1 John 4:16 “And we have known and believed the love that God hath to us. God is love; and he that dwelleth in love dwelleth in God, and God in him.” It’s easier to be lazy and not try as hard, taking everyone and everything for granted, and possibly end up forgetting how to love. Too many couples lose sight of why they became a couple in the first place and quit trying to make their relationship work. Ephesians 5:33 states, “Nevertheless, let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.” Fact is a lot of couples quit trying long before everything becomes a mere convenience. The romance stops, the love falters when the effort stops. Instead of being lazy by spending more time in the recliner with the television on, why not work at spending quality time together as an effort to put the romance and love back into your relationship and into your lives. If you’ll try, you might just be surprised how bigger issues suddenly become small and insignificant.
It is so much easier to yell and argue about issues than it is to talk things out calmly. We talk more and listen less, and we don’t allow ourselves any room in our argument to understand the spouse’s perspective, which in most cases would help in solving the issue at hand. What we should be doing instead is reaching down deep into ourselves, showing our special someone’s how much we love them without conditions. How much we want them to be happy, even if that means being more patient, giving into their wants and needs more often, so any disagreement can be ended with a long kiss and a tight hug. Unfortunately, when the problems go ignored, they become much bigger, like a big weed in a beautiful flower bed. If we’ll make the effort to renew our love for our families and other relationships, and especially our love of God every day, we’ll find that all of our relationships will thrive, God will give us the strength we need, and other’s will be more forgiving towards our shortcomings. But with the love of family and love from our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, no wall is impenetrable. No hurdle is too high. Psalm 110:3 reads, “Thy people shall be willing in the day of thy power, in the beauties of holiness from the womb of the morning: thou hast the dew of thy youth.” All it takes is more effort and you’ll be surprised how uplifting life can be. God does have great things in store for each of us. He’s the great rewarder of those who diligently seek Him. A lot of people make excuses as to why that strong bond doesn’t last. They say, “True love doesn’t last, it fades with time.”
Loving unconditionally doesn’t mean always saying “yes,” including disciplining them and saying “no.” Teaching them right from wrong in the right way is loving them unconditionally. God wants us to love so unconditionally that we’ll always do the right thing, even if it’s not the most popular thing. This is a very important time to pray to Him asking for His love, strength, and guidance.
If you’ve never experienced unconditional love, then get a dog. I believe that God created dogs to teach us humans how to love unconditionally. He also created dogs not to be able to speak our languages so that we can learn from them, knowing that most of the time we’d be better off not saying anything during disputes. He created dogs to not live as long as humans so that we can experience the loving and losing, then loving again, unconditionally each time throughout our lives. When we lose a dog/pet, some people don’t want another because of the hurt and pain that loss has caused them. Others adopt a new dog right away, and other’s take years before they feel ready to love another. That’s how strong unconditional love can be. We all deal with grief differently.
In 1 Corinthians 13, the Apostle Paul describes in great detail many of the characteristics and qualities of God’s love. He talks about love being patient and kind, not boastful and proud. It translates into unconditional love and trust in God. That He will reward us great things if we overcome the devil’s temptations. The closer we are to God, the more that the devil will test us.
Have you ever noticed how easy it is to speak about other people in a negative way? To point out their faults, completely forgetting about your own? It’s so easy to criticize them. That leads to gossip, and it always comes back around to you.
There once lived a positive farmer and a negative farmer. If it rained, the positive farmer thanked God for the rain that made his crops grow. The negative farmer complained that the rain would make his crops soggy and ruin. If it was sunny and hot the positive farmer thanked God for the sun and heat that would make his crops grow. The negative farmer complained that the heat and sun would dry out his crops. The positive farmer just bought a hunting dog and wanted to show him off. So, the positive farmer and the negative farmer went bird hunting one day. The positive farmer shot a bird and sent his new dog after it. The dog jumped out of the boat and miraculously ran across the water, picked up the bird and ran back on top of the water to the boat where he very carefully set the bird down and got back into the boat. The positive farmer was beaming from ear to ear. “So, what do you think of that,” the positive farmer asked. The negative farmer had a smirk on his face and replied, “Just as I thought, the dog can’t even swim.”
Now who would you rather sound like? What outlook on life would you rather live with? What we allow to come out of our mouths is so important. Proverbs 18:21 says, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof.” Words can be bad for a person. If we feel better about ourselves when we do good acts, say good things, why don’t we stick to saying good things that lift people up?
You see, we’ve all got to give people a little room to be the people that God’s called them to be. Don’t fence people in. It wasn’t long ago that I realized just how boring this world would be if everyone were too much like myself. They do say that opposites attract, and maybe that’s why everyone isn’t like me. When we do attract opposite people to who you are, don’t just write them off. Show them the unconditional love and patience you’d want them to show you and accept them for whom they are, not who you think they should be.
In making friends, especially with someone different from yourself, you should concentrate on what you do agree on, rather than what you don’t. Isn’t it amazing that we let the little 5% we don’t agree on seem overwhelming and endless compared to the 95% that we do agree. Why do we let the little things keep us from loving each other? Why do we let that little part tear our families apart? Next time you feel that a relationship is over or nearing it, write down a list of nothing but the good things about the relationship. Concentrate on that list and try to draw the good back into the relationship.
Nothing does more damage to a relationship with the Lord or to someone you love than spreading rumors, telling lies, and gossiping about people. It’s wrong to even listen. When you do listen, you’re only silently encouraging that person to continue spreading that rumor. The Bible says in Proverbs 11:13, “A talebearer revealeth secrets: but he that is of a faithful spirit concealeth the matter.” And friends, there’s no excuse you can come up with to try to justify telling something about another person that is going to harm them. Whether it’s true or not, it doesn’t matter. Love overlooks a person’s faults. Love see’s the best in everybody. Can you overlook another person’s faults? Can you see the best in everybody? Are you ready to try? If someone is trying to tell you a juicy bit of gossip, stop that someone. Instead of being negative about that person, pray for that person and their faults. Go so far as to befriend that person and if they need help, love them and help them, no matter what their faults are. Just remember that Jesus looked the other way.
Jesus, because of what happened in John 8 with the adulterous woman, was then able to set the requirement that enabled us to be judgmental and critical of others. He said that it’s okay as long as you meet one simple requirement. That requirement is that you yourself have never sinned. I can tell you that this requirement takes me, takes all of us, out of the stone throwing business. One by one these religious leaders left until the only one left was the adulterous woman and the one man who could condemn her for her sin, Jesus Christ. He was the Son of God who knew no sin. He simply looked at her and asked her where her accusers were. For the first time she looked up, looked all around, and much to her surprise, all of these religious hypocrites were gone. And she said, in a quiet broken voice, Lord, no man’s accused me. No man is condemning me now. Jesus then looked at her through His incredible eyes of love with mercy and compassion and said, “Neither do I condemn you. Go and sin no more.” Jesus is such a great example to follow. He is so kind and compassionate, so merciful. He sees the best in everyone. He sees your potential. He knows you’re only human, so he looks past your faults. He knows you’re going to make mistakes. He’s in the loving business, not the condemning business. Ask yourself, which business are you in? He is love, and when you show love, you are sharing God. You are pleasing God.
Just look at how he forgave that woman, not condemn her. Didn’t even try to make her feel bad. He simply loved her as love never fails. The next time you’re tempted to be hard and judgmental on someone who’s made a mistake, just think about how He forgave the adulterous woman, and think about where you yourself would be without the love and mercy of God. We’d all be on our way to hell. We all make mistakes. When we make a mistake, we expect forgiveness and multiple chances. Why can’t we give what we expect. It does take effort to do so. If you continue to be unforgiving, you are planting bad seeds. When you make a sinful mistake, you expect to be forgiven, but what if it doesn’t come? We then tend to become bitter, and that’s not at all what God wants for us. Remember that if you plant bad seeds, you’ll one day reap what you sow.
The Bible says in Galatians 6:1, “Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault, ye which are spiritual, restore such a one in the spirit of meekness; considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted.” Notice that it says nothing about being critical or judgmental of him. It talks about quietly getting him back on track.
Love overlooks faults and overlooks blame. Love overlooks mistakes and love shows mercy. Jesus said in Matthew 5:7, that “Blessed are the merciful for they shall obtain mercy.” What we’ve got to realize is that we all, at some time, will need God’s mercy. I promise you that’s a fact. So, we all need to learn to be quick to show other’s mercy, so we’ll be shown God’s quick mercy in our time of need. Try and think of what unconditional love means to you. What is your definition? What does giving unconditional love do for you? What does receiving unconditional love do for you? Who and/or what loves you unconditionally, and what have you done for them or with them lately?
I pray that you find unconditional love in your life, starting with God. Amen!
