Sticks, Stones And Words – Part 1
(Rev. Rodney Johnson and Rev. Barry Johnson)
NOTE: New Light Faith Ministries and Barry Johnson Ministries, founded by Rodney V. Johnson and Barry O. Johnson, respectively, are partnering to offer Bible studies for Christians who are seeking to grow in their relationship with Jesus. This is a Bible study lesson, not a sermon. The Bible studies teach foundational truth that are designed to challenge, encourage and, most importantly, flame the fire of hunger in the Christian who wants to learn more about who they have become in Christ Jesus. The Bible studies you find on this site contains the written version of the lesson. However, these lessons also include a video and an audio file of the study, a PDF version of the lesson and a sheet for note taking. If you would like any of the additional resources for these studies, please email us at newlightfaithministries@gmail.com or bjteachingltr@gmail.com for more information or contact us at the email provided on both of our Sermon Central pages. Please visit our YouTube Channel (Barry Johnson Ministries; New Light Faith Ministries, Inc.) to watch or listen to these lessons as well as other available sermons. Be blessed.
Introduction
Hello everyone and welcome to our July Bible Study. Do you remember the old childhood saying, "sticks and stones can break my bones but words can never hurt me?” This was the way a smaller child would respond when confronted by a larger child. It was a defense mechanism that allowed him to walk away without getting into a fight. We know that a stick or a stone, if used with enough force, can do significant damage to the human body. But our focus in this study is the other side of the saying – words can never hurt me. Is it true that words cannot hurt us? More specifically, when it comes to how we live as Christians in a fallen world, a world that is governed by the god of this world, can the words that we speak hurt us? “Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words will never hurt me” is a well-known saying, but it's a damaging lie when weighed against the truth of Scripture. The Bible is clear: words carry immense power. They can build up or destroy, bless or curse, give life or bring death. Proverbs 18:21 says, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue, And those who love it will eat its fruit.”
Wrong or misplaced words can cause deep emotional, mental, and spiritual wounds that often take longer to heal than physical wounds. Think about the times you have been hurt by something someone said. Do you remember how it affected you at that moment and over time? This saying is meant to encourage resilience, but in truth, it’s a lie because it has the opposite effect. Bones may break and heal, but a harsh word can wound the soul for a lifetime. Many carry scars today, not from fists, but from words spoken in frustration, anger, bitterness, or betrayal. With that being said, in this lesson we will expose the myth that words can’t harm us, and embrace the biblical truth that words have the power to destroy or most important, and this is what we want you to lean into – words can heal. We want you to understand the power of words to build up or to tear down, and to cultivate speech that honors God and uplifts others.
We are going to begin our journey with John 8:44. When the chapter opens, Jesus is teaching in the temple and is suddenly interrupted by scribes and Pharisees who drag a woman caught in adultery into the temple and throw her at His feet. We know this story. This is followed by these same religious leaders confronting Jesus about the identify of His Father and then dismissing His claim that He came to die for their sins. But what angers them most is when Jesus proclaims, “And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.” (verse 32) How they respond is not a surprise to Jesus. (33) They answered Him, "We are Abraham's descendants, and have never been in bondage to anyone. How can you say, 'You will be made free'?" For the remainder of the chapter, Jesus explains what He means. Let’s pick the record up with verse 41. “You do the deeds of your father. Then they said to Him, ‘We were not born of fornication; we have one Father – God. …” With these words, the religious leaders publicly show their disdain and contempt for Jesus trying to diminish His reputation as a religious teacher among the people. They say out loud what many had heard and believed for years – that Mary had gotten pregnant by Joseph before their marriage.
“(42) Jesus said to them, ‘If God were your Father, you would love Me, for I proceeded forth and came from God; nor have I come of Myself, but He sent Me. (43) Why do you not understand My speech? Because you are not able to listen to My word. (44) You are of your father the devil, and the desires of your father you want to do. He was a murderer from the beginning, and does not stand in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he speaks a lie, he speaks from his own resources, for he is a liar and the father of it.” (John 8:41-44) When Jesus tells the religious leaders the devil is their father, He’s telling them they have the same life and nature in them that is in the devil. Jesus is not saying this because they are arguing with him. He’s talking about the sin nature that was passed down to every one of us because of Adam’s sin in Genesis 3. Jesus is simply stating the truth, which also applied to us before we accepted Him as our Lord and Savior. We also were “of our father the devil.” Jesus says “You are of your father the devil, and the desires of your father you want to do. He was a murderer from the beginning, and does not stand in the truth, because there is no truth in him…” I am going to repeat that: there is NO TRUTH IN HIM. Why is there no truth in him? It’s because “When he speaks a lie, he speaks from his own resources, for he is a liar and the father of it.” Keep this truth in mind as we continue with this lesson.
We emphasize verse 44 as the launching point for this study on “Sticks, Stones and Words.” If we believe that words can never hurt us, then we have fallen for a lie that Satan has fed us. And this lie started long before we were born. And this is one of the most dangerous lies the devil has gotten us to believe and accept. It is subtle, deceptive, and if we are not paying attention, so damaging. We are taught it as children, and I repeated this more than once as a child and teenager. It’s a retort designed to dismiss a threat. But what it has actually done is blind us to a very uncomfortable truth that, because of their words, some people are going to spend an eternity in the lake of fire. Because words can destroy a person mentally, emotionally and impact them spiritually, we must guard what we say and do our best to use words that build up and edify rather harm. Proverbs 12:18 warns us that “There is one who speaks like the piercings of a sword, but the tongue of the wise promotes health.” Then James said the following, and I’m reading from the Amplified Bible: “And the tongue is [in a sense] a fire, the very world of injustice and unrighteousness; the tongue is set among our members as that which contaminates the entire body, and sets on fire the course of our life [the cycle of man's existence], and is itself set on fire by hell (Gehenna).” (James 3:6, AMP)
As you see from these two references, our words carry the ability to bring health or to start a whole lot of trouble. And the trauma and pain that our words produce last a whole lot longer than the bodily injuries that can be caused by sticks and stones. I remember times growing up when things were said about me that hurt, and I responded with this popular saying. You know children can be brutal when they talk about you, especially how you look or dress. Because words sting, especially when there is some truth to them, I would play it off by saying this, but everyone knew I had been hurt.
“Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can never hurt me!” Whenever I made this statement, I was lying because those words did indeed hurt me. But it’s one of those lies that the world believes and many in the Body of Christ believe, and what I am about to say next is extremely important. The lie is this: the only things that can hurt us are physical but it ignores the fact that this world and everything in it is a byproduct of words. James says the tongue may be small, but it can do massive damage. Gossip ruins reputations while lies destroy trust. Verbal abuse shapes identities while sarcasm and cruelty crush spirits. What we want you to remember is that the words we use carry the power to harm and to heal. And this is something we really want you to latch on to, the same is true for the words that we speak to and about ourselves. It’s not just the words we speak to others; it’s the words we speak to ourselves that help shape who we are and who we will become. Satan knows how important words are. If you recall, the first recorded words in scripture that were used to deceive and cause doubt and compromise was Satan’s deception of Eve. His words twisted God's command and introduced doubt, leading humanity into sin with the result being humanity’s separation from the God Who created them.
Words can subtly undermine truth and we see this clearly in Satan’s use of them against Eve in Genesis chapter three. “Now the serpent was more cunning than any beast of the field which the Lord God had made. And he said to the woman, "Has God indeed said, 'You shall not eat of every tree of the garden'? (2) And the woman said to the serpent, ‘We may eat the fruit of the trees of the garden; (3) but of the fruit of the tree which is in the midst of the garden, God has said, 'You shall not eat it, nor shall you touch it, lest you die.' (4) Then the serpent said to the woman, ‘You will not surely die. (5) For God knows that in the day you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.’" (Genesis 3:1-5) If Satan can get us to believe that words have no power in our lives, that words can’t hurt us, that words can’t harm us, then he has us right where he wants us. He will deceive us just like he deceived Eve. Think about a time when you were told something that stuck with you for years. Maybe it was a cruel nickname, an insult, a backhanded compliment. Whatever it was, it hurt to the point that if the right button is pushed today the moment the statement was made and the pain it caused will come flooding back with a vengeance. The truth is: words can break a person in ways fists never could and this is a truth we cannot repeat enough.
Sticks. Stones. Words.
When we say words can’t hurt us, we are diminishing the impact they have on our lives. How many times have you heard someone who doesn’t go to church say, “I’d rather see a sermon than hear one preached?” For the person who says this, they are using this as an excuse not to go to church and should be honest about it. Again, this person is diminishing the Bible, the written Word spoken by God and given to us and would not recognize a sermon if they saw it because a true sermon would be based on the Bible that they are not reading. Everything about living as a Christian is found in the Bible. When we say we would rather see a sermon than hear one, we are saying the Bible is not that important to us. The person is saying what I see in other Christians will play a role in determining my relationship with God. We are going to let you in on a secret: most Christians are not living “sermons” you should watch.
Jesus said the following in Matthew 12:34 to the Pharisees who were supposed to be “living examples” of sermons based on the law. He said, “Brood of vipers! How can you, being evil, speak good things? For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.” We need to understand that words aren’t random. They reflect the condition of the heart. If we have bitterness, pride, or anger in our hearts, it will show up in what we say. All Christians should ask themselves, “Do my words build up or do my words tear down?” and “Do my words reflect Jesus or my flesh?” When we answer these two questions truthfully, then we can begin to understand we will give an account for our words. Jesus told the Pharisees in Matthew 12:36-37, “(36) But I say to you that for every idle word men may speak, they will give account of it in the day of judgment. (37) For by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.”
Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can never hurt me. How many of you have ever had a bone broken by a stick? For most of us, the answer is none. How many of you have ever had a bone broken by a stone, or a rock, or a brick? Again, for most of us, the answer is none. Now how many of you have gone through life and heard words that have hurt you? Probably, all of us. As we said earlier, with words you can destroy a person’s hopes and dreams. “You’re not smart enough” or “You will never sing professionally.” Word carry power and we need to be careful how we use them. We want to remind you of what we read earlier in Proverbs 18:21, which says, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue, And those who love it will eat its fruit.” I remember hearing a story about Anita Baker, an R&B singer, whose songs were popular in the late 80s and early 90s. Her fifth grade music teacher told her she would never sing professionally because her voice was too deep and sultry and people wouldn’t want to listen to it. So, after she won her fifth Grammy Award, she visited her fifth grade music teacher and said, “I have five Grammys.” Now, if my memory is correct, she now has eight.
When Words Are Used to Harm Other
You can destroy a person’s hopes and dreams with words – words that degrade or diminish them. For example, “You’re not pretty enough to be a model.” Or “You’re just like such and such. You won’t amount to anything.” How many times have we heard someone say that? We want to share some examples of how words can be used to harm others.
In our first example, we want you to see how words were used to slander a person. Do you remember how Aaron and Miriam spoke against Moses? Numbers 12:1 records the following, “Then Miriam and Aaron spoke against Moses because of the Ethiopian woman whom he had married; for he had married an Ethiopian woman.” Miriam and Aaron used his marriage to an Ethiopian woman, a woman who was not a Hebrew, as a pretext to question Moses’ leadership and authority over Israel. As they complained, listen to what they said in verse two: “So they said, ‘Has the LORD indeed spoken only through Moses? Has He not spoken through us also?’ And the LORD heard it.” (Numbers 12:2) Their disdain for Moses’ marriage led to slander. Though they were leaders, Miriam and Aaron spoke against God’s chosen servant thinking they were his equal. The results of their words led to Miriam being struck with leprosy.
Then there is the story of a Pharisee named Simon. Simon’s words were not spoken aloud, but they were still heard. He spoke against a woman whom he should have had compassion for. Simon had invited Jesus to dine with him and when He arrives Simon did none of the things a host typically does for a guest. Then a woman, known for her sinful lifestyle, proceeds to wash Jesus’ feet with her tears and wipe them with her hair, kiss them and then anoints them with a fragrant oil. We want you to hear what Simon thinks as he watches this. “Now when the Pharisee who had invited Him saw this, he spoke to himself, saying, ‘This man, if He were a prophet, would know who and what manner of woman this is who is touching Him, for she is a sinner.’” (Luke 7:39) Simon thinks to himself, if Jesus only knew what kind of woman she was, He wouldn’t allow her to touch Him. This was the attitude of the religious leaders displayed when they were around sinners and people they believed to be beneath them. The Pharisees had degraded this woman so much that she believed her sins were so great that nothing could be done to keep her from an eternity in hell and the lake of fire. And this is important; Simon never spoke his thoughts out loud. What he said he said to himself, internally.
How many times have we spoken words against someone in our hearts thinking it was okay because the person never knew what we really thought? Well, we are here to tell you that Jesus knew what we said, and those words spoken against another person impacted us, not them. However, in Simon’s case, Jesus did not let it slide. Can you imagine a religious ruler, one who is supposed to be helping people grow in their relationship with God, telling them that your sins are so great that you are not worthy of God’s mercy and forgiveness? That is what the Jewish leaders had told this woman again and again. But not Jesus! Praise God! We want you to HEAR His words to the woman. “(40) And Jesus answered and said to him, ‘Simon, I have something to say to you.’ So he said, ‘Teacher, say it.’ (41) There was a certain creditor who had two debtors. One owed five hundred denarii, and the other fifty. (42) And when they had nothing with which to repay, he freely forgave them both. Tell Me, therefore, which of them will love him more?’ (43) Simon answered and said, ‘I suppose the one whom he forgave more.’ And He said to him, ‘You have rightly judged.’ (44) Then He turned to the woman and said to Simon, ‘Do you see this woman? I entered your house; you gave Me no water for My feet, but she has washed My feet with her tears and wiped them with the hair of her head. (45) You gave Me no kiss, but this woman has not ceased to kiss My feet since the time I came in. (46) You did not anoint My head with oil, but this woman has anointed My feet with fragrant oil. (47) Therefore I say to you, her sins, which are many, are forgiven, for she loved much. But to whom little is forgiven, the same loves little." (48) Then He said to her, "Your sins are forgiven." (Luke 7:40-48)
“Your sins are forgiven.” These four words changed this woman’s life. It changed how she saw herself. These four words told her that God is a God of mercy and forgiveness. These four words wiped out years of ridicule and rejection she had received from the religious leaders and from the community. These four words changed her forever. Now, let’s HEAR Jesus’ final words to her. “Then He said to the woman, ‘Your faith has saved you. Go in peace.’” (verse 50) When I read verse 50, I thought about Romans and what it says about Abraham in chapter four. “For what does the Scripture say? ‘Abraham believed God, and it was accounted to him for righteousness.’" (Romans 4:3) I believe that this woman, just like Abraham, had righteousness credited to her account and now is now a resident in the kingdom of God.
What we witnessed in this story is how words can put a person in prison without using a single shackle. There are so many Christians who have allowed themselves to become enslaved by this world and don’t know it. Their lives mirror the lives of men and women who don’t know God. Study after study shows that a person who has been physically abused was abused mentally first. The physical abuse followed the verbal abuse. The person had been beaten down with words for so long that when the physical abuse began, it was accepted. Notice we did not say “women being abused” because today there are women who are abusers too. It truly goes both ways, but our point is that the abuse starts with words. Someone who has gone through verbal abuse has been put into a prison and believes that they can’t survive without their abuser. The abuse starts with words.
Another example of words being used negatively is when they are used to cause division, especially within the Church. John speaks to this when he called out Diotrephes in Third John 1:9-10. I will be reading from the Amplified Bible, “(9) I wrote something to the church; but Diotrephes, who loves to put himself first, does not accept what we say and refuses to recognize my authority. (10) For this reason, if I come, I will call attention to what he is doing, unjustly accusing us with wicked words and unjustified charges. And not satisfied with this, he refuses to receive the [missionary] brothers himself, and also forbids those who want to [welcome them] and puts them out of the church.” Diotrephes was causing division within the Church with his accusations. He used his words to reject and question John’s authority and stir up division in the early church. Because of his actions, John publicly called him out for his destructive influence. As children of God we must be careful not to sow discord with gossip or arrogance. The church should be unified.
Last Example and Conclusion
The last example we want to share pertains to how we use words to complain – having a complaining tongue. Do you remember how the Children of Israel complained about Moses and subsequently God whenever they were discomforted? One example was recorded in Numbers 14:1-2 which records the following, “(1) So all the congregation lifted up their voices and cried, and the people wept that night. (2) And all the children of Israel complained against Moses and Aaron, and the whole congregation said to them, ‘If only we had died in the land of Egypt! Or if only we had died in this wilderness!’” Their complaints were constant. Despite God’s miracles, the Israelites murmured and complained. Their constant negative speech showed a lack of faith. That generation was barred from entering the Promised Land. The lesson we can learn from their story is that complaining can cancel blessings. Grumbling shows distrust in God's provision.
Before closing Part 1 of this lesson, we want you to hear how Hebrews 3:15-19 describe what happened to the Children of Israel because all the murmuring and complaining. I will be reading from the Amplified Bible. “(15) Then while it is [still] called Today, if you would hear His voice and when you hear it, do not harden your hearts as in the rebellion [in the desert, when the people provoked and irritated and embittered God against them]. (16) For who were they who heard and yet were rebellious and provoked [Him]? Was it not all those who came out of Egypt led by Moses? (17) And with whom was He irritated and provoked and grieved for forty years? Was it not with those who sinned, whose dismembered bodies were strewn and left in the desert? (18) And to whom did He swear that they should not enter His rest, but to those who disobeyed [who had not listened to his word and who refused to be compliant or be persuaded]? (19) So we see that they were not able to enter [into his rest] because of their unwillingness to adhere to and trust in and rely on God [unbelief has shut them out].”
The point that this passage drives home is that our words can have a detrimental impact on our faith. We believe that the one of the reasons some Christians experience struggles, or hard times is because the words that they have spoken are bearing the fruit of what they have been speaking. And this is the purpose of this lesson “Sticks. Stones. Words.” We want you to understand how critical and important your words are in planting seeds in your life. They will be seeds that will grow and bear the fruit the Bible describes, or they will be seeds that agree with what the world says. The choice is ours. We will finish Part 2 next month. Let’s pray.
