VICTORY WITH TEARS: THE COST OF LEADERSHIP
By Rev. Samuel Arimoro
Main Text: 2 Samuel 18:1-33
Supporting Texts: Ezekiel 33:11, Luke 19:41-44, Proverbs 11:10, Romans 12:15, Hebrews 13:17
INTRODUCTION:
This chapter narrates the climactic battle between David’s forces and Absalom’s rebellious army. Though David's side achieves military victory, the king is left in deep sorrow over the death of his son Absalom. Here, we see the heavy burden of leadership—the balance between public responsibility and personal pain.
David's command to deal gently with Absalom shows the compassion of a father, but his soldiers had to act in the best interest of the nation. This created a moment where duty clashed with emotion, and leadership demanded hard decisions for the greater good.
2 Samuel 18 teaches us that spiritual leadership often carries unseen emotional weight. Victories may come at the cost of relationships, and success in ministry or mission may bring personal grief. It reminds us that leaders are human—capable of great strength and deep sorrow. Yet in all, God strengthens those He has called.
1. EFFECTIVE LEADERSHIP REQUIRES STRATEGIC ORGANISATION
David did not rush into battle; he structured his army wisely.
a) “Then David numbered the people… and set captains of thousands and hundreds” (2 Samuel 18:1)
He ensured that his troops were properly led and divided for efficiency.
b) Strategy is not unspiritual—it is wisdom applied to divine purpose
Even when God is with us, organisation matters.
c) Effective leadership must combine prayer with practical structure
David prepared both spiritually and administratively.
d) Spiritual victories often require natural preparation and team collaboration
No leader succeeds alone.
Biblical Example: Moses followed Jethro’s advice and appointed capable leaders to handle smaller matters (Exodus 18:17-26).
2. THE HEART OF A LEADER CARES EVEN FOR THE FALLEN
David’s instruction concerning Absalom revealed his fatherly love.
a) “Deal gently for my sake with the young man Absalom” (2 Samuel 18:5)
Despite the betrayal, David longed for mercy over judgment.
b) True leadership seeks redemption, not just punishment
Even when justice is necessary, compassion must not be lost.
c) A spiritual leader does not rejoice in the fall of a backslider, but desires restoration
David’s heart ached for his son’s soul.
d) Love does not cancel discipline, but it seeks the salvation of the rebellious
Grace must accompany governance.
Biblical Example: Jesus wept over Jerusalem’s refusal to repent (Luke 19:41-44).
3. DIVINE INTERVENTION CAN OVERTURN NATURAL ADVANTAGE
The battle turned in David’s favour because God intervened through the terrain.
a) “The forest devoured more people that day than the sword” (2 Samuel 18:8)
God used nature to assist His anointed.
b) When God is on your side, He will fight battles in unexpected ways
Even your environment can become a divine weapon.
c) The sovereignty of God ensures that no human advantage can prevail over His will
Absalom’s numbers could not save him.
d) Victory is not always by strength or numbers, but by divine assistance
God can fight for you in ways you least expect.
Biblical Example: God used hailstones to defeat Israel’s enemies in Joshua’s battle (Joshua 10:11).
4. BITTERNESS AND PRIDE LEAD TO A TRAGIC END
Absalom’s death was both poetic and painful.
a) “His head caught in the terebinth tree… and he was left hanging” (2 Samuel 18:9)
The very hair that symbolised his pride contributed to his downfall.
b) Joab struck him down despite David’s instructions (2 Samuel 18:14-15)
Joab prioritised the safety of the kingdom over David’s emotion.
c) Rebellion often blinds a person until it is too late to turn back
Absalom had many chances to repent, but pride persisted.
d) Pride leads to entrapment, and unchecked ambition ends in destruction
Absalom's story is a solemn warning to all who exalt themselves above God's order.
Biblical Example: Lucifer’s fall from heaven was caused by pride and rebellion (Isaiah 14:12-15).
5. LEADERS SOMETIMES WEEP WHEN OTHERS CELEBRATE
David’s victory was overshadowed by his grief for Absalom.
a) “O my son Absalom—my son, my son… would God I had died for thee!” (2 Samuel 18:33)
His cry was not for a throne regained, but for a son lost.
b) Leadership carries the pain of decisions that others cannot understand
David’s sorrow seemed strange to his victorious army.
c) Not all victories bring joy; some come with scars and silent sacrifices
Public celebration may hide private mourning.
d) Leaders must often bear their burdens quietly while continuing to serve faithfully
God sees and strengthens such hearts.
Biblical Example: Paul carried a burden for Israel’s salvation, even when planting churches across the world (Romans 9:1-3).
CONCLUSION:
2 Samuel 18 teaches us that leadership is not always glamorous—it is often costly. Behind the cheers of victory may lie tears of regret, pain, or loss. David’s story reminds us that leaders are humans with hearts that break, even when destinies are fulfilled.
Yet in it all, God remains our strength, comfort, and wisdom. Every leader must learn to navigate victories with humility and heartbreaks with grace. Even when your Absalom dies, your calling must live on. Let your faith remain anchored in the God who sees your tears and rewards your obedience.
PRAYER POINTS:
1. Lord, give me wisdom to lead with both strength and compassion, never losing sight of Your heart.
2. Father, protect me from pride and help me to walk in humility and surrender.
3. Let every rebellion against Your will in my life be brought down by divine intervention.
4. Strengthen me, O Lord, to handle the personal pains that come with leadership responsibilities.
5. Lord, use even my moments of sorrow to bring glory to Your name and fulfil Your purpose in my life.
