“Women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, but with what is proper for women who profess godliness—with good works.” [1]
There are certain clothes Christian women should never wear in public. Ever! Whether it be miniskirts, hip-hugger jeans, yoga pants, or skin-tight shirts, they should be avoided. Christian women have a biblical obligation to dress modestly and to reflect holiness. Immodest clothing is not necessary for a woman to be fashionable.
The world’s attitude toward fashion should not be adopted by the churches of our Lord. The world’s attitude could easily be summarised by the concept, “If you’ve got it, flaunt it. Leave as little to the imagination as possible.” Twice born Christian women, I don't believe, leave home with such an attitude. Godly women seek to live godly, holy lives; and their desire to honour God will be reflected in how they dress and in their deportment.
I am quite certain that many people will conclude that a pastor should not find it necessary to address this issue of women’s dress. Apparently, the Apostle Paul didn’t get that memo; nor did Peter get that message, if the instructions he includes in his first missive are any indication. God seems quite aware of an inclination of the distaff side of life to use feminine wiles to advance themselves in the world. I’m not suggesting there is a need for Christian women to resort to dowdy dress—there is no premium on “ugly” or on “frumpy;” but assuredly there is a bright line between being identified with the world through one’s manner of dress and being recognised as modest and virtuous because one is a follower of the Christ.
Undoubtedly, there are people who will object to the pastor addressing this subject by saying that because he is a man, he can’t possibly understand how important fashion is. Others might argue, “If the dress offends you, don’t look.” Despite any objections that may be raised, immodest dress is a problem in local churches on Sunday mornings. Women may not have a worldly attitude about modesty, but for whatever reason—because of naivete, carelessness, busy lifestyles, or cultural pressures—it is true that some women unknowingly dress immodestly. And immodesty, whether revealed by a man or whether revealed by a woman, dishonours God and reflects poorly on the membership of the congregation to which that individual belongs.
Mary Mohler told how she once visited a church that had a dress code. “I applaud them that they have the boldness to have a dress code,” she said. “It’s for members only. But if a strong conservative church like that has a dress code, what does that tell you? It tells you that there are problems even in that setting where people are coming dressed inappropriately to worship.” [2] It is undoubtedly time to examine what the Bible says about dressing to reflect modesty. Join me in focusing on what the Bible says ab out this vital issue.
DRESSING TO HONOUR GOD — “Women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, but with what is proper for women who profess godliness—with good works” [1 TIMOTHY 2:9-10]. The biblical standard for women’s apparel is that it must be respectable, reflecting modesty and self-control. Negatively, women should not depend on that which is ostentatious or outlandish.
The Apostle states that women should “adorn themselves in respectable apparel.” We need to determine what respectable apparel is if women are to ensure that they are dressing in an appropriate fashion. The word Paul uses that is translated “respectable,” is the Greek word kosmios. One scholarly definition says of this word, that it speaks of that which is “pertaining to being proper or suitable in terms of being attractive— ‘proper, suitable.’ [Gunaîkas én katastole kosmío] ‘women in proper clothing.’” [3] The authors cite Paul’s words in our text as the sole biblical example of this application of the word in the New Testament.
The only other time this adjective is used in the New Testament occurs when Paul is providing the qualifications for overseers. You will recall that the Apostle has written of elders or overseers, “An overseer must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, sober-minded, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not a drunkard, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money” [1 TIMOTHY 3:2-3]. The word “respectable” translates this same Greek word, kosmios. In this instance, however, the scholars point out that the word is, “pertaining to being modest in the sense of moderate and well-ordered— ‘modest, well-ordered, moderate, becoming.’ [Deî oûn tòn epískopon … naphálion, sóphrona, kosmios] ‘the church leader must be … sober, self-controlled, moderate.’” [4]
The word kosmios is translated “respectable” in both instances of its use in the ESV, but the impact of the word on those first readers would be slightly different as dictated by the context. The intent of the Spirit of God as He directed the Apostle in his admonition is clarified when Paul continues by stating that women’s dress should reflect “modesty and self-control.” Louw and Nida translate the concluding words Paul has written, “that women dress themselves in becoming clothing, modestly, and properly.” [5]
The word translated “modesty” is identified as a hapax legomenon, occurring only here in the New Testament. Though the word occurs only here in the original manuscripts, the word and the concept conveyed would be readily recognised to the first readers of this missive. Aidós conveys “the quality of modesty, with the implication of resulting respect.” [6] Thus, what is communicated is a moral feeling, a sense of respect both for one’s own conscience and respect for the feeling or opinion of others. [7] A Christian woman’s dress must hold respect for her own conscience—she is not to feel she cannot be feminine. At the same time, her dress must take into account the feeling and opinion of men who see her.
The respectable dress advocated in the text is to reflect “self-control.” Sophrosyne is not a common word in the New Testament, but it is again a word that would be readily understood by the first readers of Paul’s letters. The word speaks of “good judgement,” it speaks of “moderation.” The word communicates the concept of behaving “in a sensible manner, with the implication of thoughtful awareness of what is best.” [8]
If there is a problem in the mind of those reading what the Apostle has written, it arises from a conflict between what is assumed to be our personal freedom contra our responsibility as one who seeks to honour Christ the Lord. This raises a point that is not often acknowledged—Christian women are responsible for how men view them. I’ve heard many of the responses to this matter, and they need to be addressed. No one conversant with the Word of God wants women to dress as though they have neither personality nor humanity. We should never condone women being forced to wear a burqa, or to cover their face with the niqab, or to cover their hair with the hijab because someone might be offended by seeing their face or their hair. As followers of the Risen Saviour, we are advocating propriety, respectful dress, modesty.
Speaking as a man, a male of the species, men are visual creatures—God created us that way. We are very much aware of beauty, and certain forms of beauty grab our attention. I’m speaking particularly of the feminine form! If this were not so, there would be no pornography. However, we males are susceptible to the beauties displayed by those associated with the distaff side of humanity. And what is evident is that women understand the reality of this situation from quite an early age. Consequently, women take considerable pains to so present themselves in such way that men cannot help but look. It’s in our nature as men to notice women. I’m not suggesting that men can be excused for leering at women; I am saying that men are aware of women. And it is in the nature of women to enhance their natural features so they appear more attractive in the eyes of men.
This is an old trick employed since earliest times. When Jezebel understood she was about to be confronted by Jehu for her perfidy, we read, “she painted her eyes and adorned her head and looked out of the window” [2 KINGS 9:30b]. Despite the potential danger, she would attempt to make herself more attractive. In doing this, she might preserve her life. Of course, her efforts didn’t work out for her in that instance.
When Ezekiel excoriates Israel and Judah for the way in which they betrayed the LORD who had redeemed them, he compared them to women who prostituted themselves, writing, “Son of man, will you judge Oholah and Oholibah? Declare to them their abominations. For they have committed adultery, and blood is on their hands. With their idols they have committed adultery, and they have even offered up to them for food the children whom they had borne to me. Moreover, this they have done to me: they have defiled my sanctuary on the same day and profaned my Sabbaths. For when they had slaughtered their children in sacrifice to their idols, on the same day they came into my sanctuary to profane it. And behold, this is what they did in my house. They even sent for men to come from afar, to whom a messenger was sent; and behold, they came. For them you bathed yourself, painted your eyes, and adorned yourself with ornaments” [EZEKIEL 23:36-40].
Allow me to speak to men at this point. Because this reality is true, we men must be responsible for how we interact with women, especially sisters in the Faith. Job made a covenant with his eyes. We read,
“I made a covenant with my eyes;
how then could I entertain thoughts against a virgin?”
[JOB 31:1 NET BIBLE 2nd]
This is a powerful model provided that teaches men that leering at a woman, thinking lurid thoughts about a woman, dishonours God and dishonours the woman. This is one powerful rational against viewing pornography or allowing oneself to read salacious writings.
Paul makes this matter more personal still in the First Letter to the Church of the Thessalonians. Listen as the Apostle writes, “This is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God; that no one transgress and wrong his brother in this matter, because the Lord is an avenger in all these things, as we told you beforehand and solemnly warned you. For God has not called us for impurity, but in holiness. Therefore whoever disregards this, disregards not man but God, who gives his Holy Spirit to you” [1 THESSALONIANS 4:3-8].
While some may argue that what is written here is overly broad, it surely encompasses a man’s relationship with women, especially sisters who share the Faith of Christ the Lord. However, in light of the text before us in this hour, isn’t it evident that Christian women should help their male counterparts maintain pure thoughts. Women must be aware and then remember the battles men face to stay pure as they are stimulated visually by women. Men should never have to deal with deliberate emphasis paraded before them by Christian women—and to have this done at church is an abomination.
I remind you that the biblical command to dress modestly is first found in the third chapter of Genesis. There, we read that God made “garments of skin” for Adam and Eve after they had sinned, plunging the race into ruin. They attempted to conceal their nakedness by sewing fig leaves together. Their first attempt at clothing was deemed unacceptable when God confronted them. Their effort was not good enough! They were not clothed; they were simply covered. Therefore, God had to remedy their pitiful effort through slaying an animal and making proper garments for the sinning couple.
Both Paul and Peter address issues dealing with modesty in the New Testament. In our text, we have already witnessed Paul teaching, “Women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, but with what is proper for women who profess godliness—with good works” [1 TIMOTHY 2:9-10].
And Peter addresses the same issue when he writes, “Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious” [1 PETER 3:3-4].
The Apostles are teaching godly women not to depend on their dress—or lack thereof—in an attempt to make themselves attractive. Rather, the Word of God is emphasising that women make themselves attractive through cultivating a gentle and quiet spirit, striving to create a life marked by godliness and good works. Again, there is no effort in the Apostles’ words to demean women, to compel them to be frumpy, drab, or stodgy. They are providing wise counsel for women—and men if they are paying attention—to work at cultivating what is genuine, to work at fostering a godly mien that reflects who you are in reality—a child of the Living God.
DRESSING TO FIT CONTEMPORARY IDEALS — “Women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, but with what is proper for women who profess godliness—with good works” [1 TIMOTHY 2:9-10]. Immodesty has always been a problem. It’s a timeless problem. In biblical times, there were problems with how women dressed. Taken together, the passages in 1 Timothy and 1 Peter which I cited earlier do not prohibit the wearing of jewellery or the braiding of hair. It says Christian women should not become dependent upon external adornments and cosmetics. So, those who force that strained interpretation must also say that it says you can't put on dresses either. Christian women should study both passages.
Perhaps we need to commit these two definitions of modesty to memory; and maybe we need to cut them out and take them to the dressing room with us to realise that, “Yes, there are biblical directives, there are biblical standards, and here's where we can find them.”
Paul admonishes Christians—both men and women, “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect” [ROMANS 12:2]. Don’t permit the denizens of this dying world dictate how you present yourself in public. The assembly of the righteous is not to be a display of worldly fashion—it is the House of God! We are seeking to honour Christ, not draw attention to our person. Notice the importance placed upon going against the flow of culture in the Word of God—surely this biblical emphasis includes dressing in modest fashion!
In 1 TIMOTHY 4:12 we witness Paul instructing us to “… set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity.” Most Christians will understand that our example in speech, in love, and in faith are important, even essential. But I am telling you that our dress can—and does—reflect on both our conduct and our purity. If what I wear distracts others from focusing on the Lord, then I cannot say that my example is righteous. Likewise, if my dress encourages impure thoughts in others, then my example of purity is deeply flawed.
I know that the argument given by the world is that I am not responsible for how others think. But as Christians, we don’t want to give offence to anyone. And we are responsible not to dishonour the Saviour. Does God care how we dress? You bet he does! He cares about every aspect of our life, and we are called to holiness. When the Apostle reminds the saints in Corinth, “We have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us,” [2 CORINTHIANS 4:7], he cautions us not to imagine that we must fit the ideal of this fallen world. We are children of the Living God, citizens of Heaven, destined to reign eternally with the Risen Lord of Glory. Let us then begin now to reflect the reality of who we are by the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ.
In the past, people did look down on someone not dressed in “traditional” Sunday morning attire. But what started as a well-intentioned move to counter that has gone awry. Now the floodgates are open and anything goes. And that is not a healthy attitude for Christians. No daughter should ever be allowed to wear halter tops, tube tops, skin-tight shirts, low-cut shirts, midriff-exposing shirts, miniskirts, short shorts, and other such revealing items of dress. Does this make me sound like an authoritarian parent? I hope so! I am a parent; and as parents we are to love our children and shepherd them and nurture them. But we're also to teach them—because they are still children. They need direction; and it is a parent’s job to provide that direction.
Many teenage girls are allowed to dress immodestly because their parents are trying to be their daughter’s friend instead of being her parent. They try to rationalise how they dress by saying, “She's a good kid. She doesn't smoke or drink. She's going to use her own money for this.” We all want our kids to love us. I want my kids to think I am the greatest dad in the world. But at what cost? We've got to teach them from the early days that they must stand for something or they're going to fall for everything.
I know that I’m ancient, and some might be inclined to argue that I just don’t understand how hard it is to be a teenager today. That is true, but I am a follower of Christ, and I know that I am responsible to instruct the saints of God how they are to honour Him. One of my vivid memories is my wife telling my daughters to stand in front of a mirror to look at themselves before we left to attend the services of the church, or before they went out into public on other occasions. Lynda was always teaching them to look at themselves to see what others might see before they left the house.
Christian mothers of sons will appreciate what I am teaching and they will say, “Please continue to proclaim this message wherever you can. What else can we do? We don't have daughters ... but we have sons that are looking at how [other parents’] daughters dress.” You see, men really struggle with this issue, and it is the job of those who are mothers of daughters to make sure that we don't make the job any harder for them.
I have witnessed throughout the years of my service among the people of God a transformation of women’s dress within the assemblies. There is a trend to more casual dress at church, and I am not certain that is all together bad. However, there is a parallel movement toward immodest dress for Christian women. Perhaps this tendency arises from a desire to hold onto our youth. While men are not immune to the desire to cling to youth, women, in particular, appear to make a concerted effort to hold onto their youth. One way this is done is through attempting to dress according to the code of youth, which often means revealing sweaters and skirts, bare midriffs and tight jeans, or other items of revealing clothing.
A few years ago Lynda and I attended a church service sponsored by the Gideons. Various groups from the community were presenting musical selections as part of the program. One of the first presentations was by some young women representing a church identified with the Holiness Movement. What struck me was the inappropriate dress for these young women. Each of the young women wore tight jeans that revealed far more than they intended, I am certain. Several wore low cut jeans with tops that left the midriff bare. The genitalia were clearly defined on several of the young ladies and as they raised their arms in praise (?) an inappropriate amount of skin was suggestively revealed.
What especially grieved me at that “worship service” was the fact that no one in the audience exhibited discomfort at the lack of decorum or at the inappropriate nature of the dress. The event was hosted by a Baptist church, and no one from that congregation objected to the inappropriate dress. There was a day in the not-too-distant past when such displays would have been immediately addressed or halted. Many people confuse seductive with symmetry. Our culture, and even a review of the entire sweep of the history of fallen humanity, teaches us to enhance superficial features to draw attention to ourselves.
Though the Apostle’s instructions specifically address women of the assembly at worship, the principle is applicable in a general sense. As Christians, we are responsible to focus on leading lives that are “peaceful and quiet,” “godly and dignified.” We are to seek the salvation of others, our lives strengthening the pleas that we make as we point others to Christ. The issue for Christians is not either/or when it comes to life and witness—it is both/and. There exists no dichotomy between life and witness; rather, life and witness are integrated. If our lives are not godly and dignified, it is doubtful that we are turning others to righteousness. If we are not telling others of the grace of God in Christ the Lord, our lifestyle is of small moment.
By the same token, Christian women who dress according to the standards of the world are embracing to a false standard of beauty that degrades whatever witness they might otherwise have and renders the power of God in their lives as flaccid and anaemic. The world’s attitude toward fashion should not be that of the people of God. Regenerate women are called to be diligent in their efforts to live godly lives—and the godliness expected includes being aware of their dress, and in particular being aware of how they are viewed by others.
Writing Titus, Paul admonishes him, “Teach what accords with sound doctrine. Older men are to be sober-minded, dignified, self-controlled, sound in faith, in love, and in steadfastness. Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled” [TITUS 2:1-5].
Older men are to accept the responsibility to model Christian virtues. Adult Christian women are responsible to model decency and modesty for younger women. The instruction given is not merely about attitude, but is inclusive of every aspect of modesty when Pul includes the admonition to “teach what is good.” Younger Christian women and girls must be encouraged to resist the call of fashion and the style of the world. This accords with sound doctrine!
Richard Baxter, noted Puritan Preacher, said to women, “You must not lay a stumbling block in [men’s] way, nor blow up the fire of their lust, nor make your ornaments snares but you must walk among sinful persons as you would with a candle among straw or gunpowder, or else you may see flame which you would not foresee, when it is too late to quench it.” [9] What a timely warning! Christian women must not dress as harlots, deliberately seeking to draw attention to sexual features. Neither must men permit themselves to focus exclusively on sexual aspects of members of the opposite sex.
Understand that I’m not excusing men for acting wantonly or for entertaining lewd thoughts—each man is responsible to act in a godly manner regardless of what he imagines the provocation to be. I stress that men must assume responsibility for their own actions. Martin Luther was correct when he said, “I cannot keep the birds from flying over my head; but I can keep them from roosting in my hair.” Christian men must treat “older women as mothers, younger women as sisters, in all purity” [1 TIMOTHY 5:2].
Ladies, if you dress according to the standards of this world, you are identifying with that which is destined for dust. Dressed as the world dresses, you are not reflecting either the beauty of holiness or the glory of Christ the Lord. You are responsible to bear witness to the grace of Christ the Lord as you walk in the world, and you cannot do so when you look like the world. Those who are part of the world system will dismiss your witness since you look like them. Your life will bear the smell of death rather than bearing the sweet perfume of life if your outward appearance identifies you as belonging to this perishing world. Men will not treat you with the respect due a woman of character if you dress as a harlot dresses.
I am not suggesting that you need to dress as though you were preparing to overhaul a tractor, but neither should you dress as though you were planning to be a streetwalker after the service. Neither am I saying that you must wear a plain gingham dress that reaches your ankles, but you will benefit from looking in a mirror before you leave the house. I certainly am not suggesting that you should not be attractive or stylish—I am saying that you must be modest.
I want to speak rather pointedly at this time. Women are responsible for how men view them. I understand that there are women who will argue that men’s minds are in the gutter if they see them as sex objects rather than seeing them as godly women. Unfortunately, ladies, men are so created that they do notice women, and when you dress as though you wish to draw attention to your sexual features, men will notice. You cannot protest that men should not be like that. Such protests sound suspiciously like the description provided in PROVERBS 30:20:
“This is the way of an adulteress:
she eats and wipes her mouth
and says, ‘I have done nothing wrong.’”
DRESSING WITH WHAT IS PROPER FOR WOMEN WHO PROFESS HOLINESS — “I desire then that in every place the men should pray, lifting holy hands without anger or quarreling; likewise also that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, but with what is proper for women who profess godliness—with good works” [1 TIMOTHY 2:8-10]. The Apostle emphasises that beauty is not skin deep—it is much deeper than that. True beauty arises from the innermost being of an individual. The Apostle wants the males within the congregation to be distinguished by a life of prayer coupled with gentle and peaceable demeanours. In the same way, he urges women to exhibit that inner beauty that cannot be worked up or painted on; the beauty sought in Christian women is that which grows out of a godly life. Godly women demonstrate the beauty of a quiet life that offers voluntary submissiveness to their own husbands.
This is an appropriate time to touch on a subject that is increasingly ignored in this day. Women are proscribed by the Word of God from exercising pastoral oversight. Paul says that a woman’s beauty is displayed through a quiet demeanour. His precise statement is that women who profess godliness should learn quietly, exhibiting a submissive spirit. I recognise that the word “submissive” has taken on quite a negative connotation in this day. However, the word does not mean that a woman must not have a mind or that she must become a doormat. The emphasis is upon a respectful attitude toward order and authority.
In another place, the Apostle says that if women have questions, they are encouraged to ask their husbands [1 CORINTHIANS 14:35]. Unmarried women still living in the family home can ask their fathers when they have questions. Single women living alone can ask an elder. Obviously, this places responsibility on husbands to study the Word and to seek appropriate application of the Word, assuming spiritual leadership within the home. Each Christian, women no less than men, should develop an inquisitive attitude toward the revelation of the Lord, and husbands and fathers are responsible to encourage that attitude that seeks greater knowledge.
Nevertheless, the Apostle is quite clear in denying women a role as elders or as teachers within the congregation. Listen to 1 TIMOTHY 2:12 as treated by the masterful British biblical translator, J. B. Phillips. “I don’t allow women to teach, nor do I ever put them in positions of authority over men—I believe their role is to be receptive.” [10] I don’t know that this particular translation softens the sting to determined feminists more than does the translation which I normally use, but it does seem to be clearer in my estimate.
The reason given for this prohibition has nothing to do with ability or native intelligence or even with spiritual standing; the issue has to do with God’s sovereign choice based upon priority in creation and upon the fact that though the man was a rebel, the woman was deceived. God has deemed that these conditions proscribe women from exercising oversight within the congregation and from serving as teachers within the congregational setting.
While it has become popular among modern congregations to encourage women to seek appointment as preachers and as pastors among the congregations of the Lord, they do so without scriptural warrant and in defiance of God’s clear proscription. To exercise such authority, and to insist on the right to make authoritative rulings as required of an elder, is to deny the model described by Moses in Numbers [see NUMBERS 30:3-16], which makes husbands and fathers responsible for spiritual leadership within the home. Moreover, to insist upon appointing women to pastoral office requires that one explain away this verse, and similar verses in the Word of God. Of course, contemporary feminist theologians attempt to do precisely that by either reinterpreting the verses in a limited, local context or through rejecting the Apostle’s words by designating him as a misogynist who was captive to his culture. This enervates the Word of spiritual authority and disparages the injunctions provided by that Word.
I do not wish to be sidetracked by this discussion, but it is vital to our understanding of what constitutes feminine beauty to understand the prohibition against pastoral oversight. Beauty is not in the eye of the beholder; beauty is the exhibition of the power of the Spirit creating quietness and harmony. Beauty is the reflection of the presence of God’s Spirit.
I do not expect the world to understand beauty. The devil did not create beauty—God did! The world can only dimly reflect the beauty the God created, and tragically, the world system will distort the beauty that God has set in place. The natural man can only describe that which is superficial and which lends itself to examination by the natural senses. However, order and symmetry of spirit is a beauty that should not be denied by followers of the Living Saviour.
Males, especially unregenerate males, will emphasise that which is sexual in nature, not because it is necessarily attractive, but because it is titillating, or possibly because it is scintillating. And women, blindly following the fashion dictates of males whose spirits have been distorted by sin will adopt that male view as their standard of beauty. They will therefore starve themselves, chemically or surgically alter their features, all in a futile attempt to meet a standard that is at best fleeting and at worst distorted.
Peter describes that beauty that is sought especially in godly women when he admonishes, “Let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is God’s sight is very precious. For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves by submitting to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord” [1 PETER 3:4-6a]. Beauty, according to God and as viewed by godly people, reflects God’s Spirit at work in the life of the believer.
Coddling dangerous sin invites permanent injury for the unwary who imagine they can play with sin. Though contemporary society ignores biblical mores, mankind always does so at the risk of individual and social welfare. Immodesty is ubiquitous in contemporary society. Tragically, the concept of modesty is seldom addressed from the pulpit. Pastors fear offending parishioners with blunt language, though those same parishioners fill their ears with even more offensive language through television shows each evening. I suspect that pastors don’t want to turn off the youth of the congregation, so they avoid confronting the sins of the youth. We seem to believe that things will eventually “work out” and the youth will become godly. Finally, though parental controls appear to be woefully lacking in modern society, those same parents, perhaps out of massive feelings of guilt, become overly protective of the “feelings” of their children when they believe they are confronted by authority. This is despite the failure of parents to exercise consistent and biblically based discipline for those same children.
Paul outlines in broad terms Christian responsibility toward the state and toward society in general. Toward the state, Christians are to demonstrate loyalty through praying for those in authority. The reason for this command is the desire of believers to live peaceful and quiet lives that are “godly and dignified in every way” [see 1 TIMOTHY 2:1-2]. Thus, we seek an environment that is conductive to salvation for the lost.
We Christians are to conduct themselves in a manner that reflects divine parentage. Men are to pray, especially asking for grace to lead holy lives. Turning his attention to the women of the congregation, Paul begins by saying “likewise.” This literary device reminds us that he is continuing his discussion concerning conduct in the assembly of the saints. In the Christian assembly, adult males are responsible to take the lead in praying and in seeking a holy life for all. And women are responsible to dress modestly, exhibiting self-control. Christian women are commanded to endeavour to reflect the inner beauty that attends a godly life, not depending on external features to reveal the beauty of Christ.
In the message this day, we have established that God does care how we dress and that beauty in the sight of God does not necessarily agree with beauty as defined by the world. Women are responsible to dress modestly, in no small measure because they are responsible for their brothers. To be certain, women are to be modest in their dress and modest in their deportment, because such modesty honours God. In honouring the Master, modest women will accept responsibility to avoid becoming a stumbling block before their fellow believers.
The Word assigns responsibility for each of us to assume control over our own body, and it also states that failure to do so constitutes a transgression against our brother in the matter of holiness [see 1 THESSALONIANS 4:3-8]! If I am lascivious and salacious in my deportment toward women, especially if the women are Christian sisters, I wrong them. However, if my Christian sisters fail to respect the boundaries demanded by biblical modesty, they have wronged me, to say nothing of having wronged all men. We have mutual responsibility to build one another within the Body of Christ, rather than focusing solely on ourselves and our own desires.
I suspect that I am speaking to people that are not inclined to argue overly much with what I have said to this point. However, there will be parents listening who need to get a handle on what their daughters are wearing. You may recall an ad on television that depicted a teenage girl in a clothing store. She appears in an outfit that is far too revealing and her father objects, saying that he will not pay for the outfit. The girl tartly responds by dialling her credit union and transferring the necessary funds. She’ll wear what she wants whether her father approves or not. I find the ad disappointing because it says more about our culture than we might wish it said.
Often, teenage girls are allowed to dress immodestly because their parents are trying to be their daughter's friend instead of being her parent. As already noted, parents sometimes try to rationalise how their daughter dresses by saying, “She's a good kid. She doesn't smoke or drink. She’s going to use her own money for this. All of her friends, including most of the girls in her youth group, are wearing this style. Besides, I don’t want to ruin this shopping trip.” When a young woman dresses immodestly, I can assure you that young men looking at her will not be thinking Sunday School thoughts. Remember, parents are responsible for how their children dress; and godly parents will instruct their children in godliness, enforcing modesty until such time that the child matures and assumes responsibility to continue walking as she was trained.
The world is not pulling for us to raise daughters that stand against the tide. Daughters living in the family home are still children in need of direction; and raising godly children is a parent’s great responsibility. In contemporary society, parents have done a good job of nurturing their children, but modern parents have frequently abdicated the issue of exercising parental authority. Daughters, to say nothing of sons, must not be allowed to follow the crowd simply because that is what the crowd is doing [see EXODUS 23:2]. Christian parents are responsible to set biblical rules and ensure that those rules are followed. The world says there are no rules, but God expects His people to be holy in all aspects of life, including their manner of dress.
If you permit your daughters to dress to emphasise their sexual features, you do them no favours. You are training them in the ways of this dying world. Your failure to train them will ensure that you will grieve. The spirit of sexual licence has thoroughly saturated contemporary society, and there is very real danger when women fail to maintain modesty.
I pray that parents will be encouraged to train their daughters to be chaste and modest in the midst of a world that is saturated with sex. I pray that parents will train their sons to demonstrate respect toward all women, treating them as fellow beings created in the image of God, rather than seeing them as mere objects to be used for their own sordid gratification. I pray that each Christian woman will accept the biblical responsibility to be a woman of character, reflecting the beauty of holiness even in her manner of dress, and that each Christian husband will encourage his wife to be that model of modesty that honours Him who redeems us by His grace. I especially pray that each of us will accept the responsibility to encourage modesty both through what we say and through the way we live out our lives. Amen.
[1] Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture quotations are from The Holy Bible: English Standard Version. Wheaton: Standard Bible Society, 2016. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
[2] Mary K. Mohler, Modeling Modesty, Girl Talk blogs, Modeling Modesty.indd, accessed 21 April 2025
[3] Johannes P. Louw and Eugene Albert Nida, Greek-English Lexicon of the New Testament: Based on Semantic Domains (United Bible Societies, New York 1996) 627
[4] Louw-Nida, Op. Cit. 747
[5] Ibid.
[6] Ibid.
[7] Henry George Liddell et al., A Greek-English Lexicon (Clarendon Press, Oxford 1996) 36
[8] Louw-Nida, Op. Cit. 752
[9] Richard Baxter, A Christian Directory of Baxter’s Practical Works, Vol. 1, pg. 392, Cited in Nicholas Jackson, “American Church Undressed,” http://www.newswithviews.com/Jackson/nicholas7.htm
[10] J. B. Phillips, The New Testament in Modern English (The Macmillan Co., © 1958, 1960) p. 437
