Title: “Quit Your Complaining!” Script: Phil. 2:14-16
Type: Expos/Series Where: GNBC 6-22-25
Intro: The title of my sermon today might easily be heard in any household where a mother is at home with her small children. Or where possibly teenagers are in the home. Or where young adults are in the home. Or where middle-aged adults are in the home. Or where elderly are in the home. My father detested complainers. “You’ve got the easy part done…complaining. Now, offer a solution or shut up!” William Bowen was keynote speaker at the 2023 Farm bureau Federation in Des Moines (Dec. 2023) The average person complains between 15 to 30 times a day, often without realizing they’re doing it. And if that isn’t bad enough, complaining has been shown to cause negative health impacts, decrease morale within the workplace and shrink areas of the brain needed for creativity and problem-solving. “I would say there’s nothing wrong with a little complaining now and then. The challenge is that most people don’t do just a little complaining,” Bowen said. “I joke that complaining is like bad breath. You notice it when it comes out of somebody else’s mouth, but not when it comes out of your own.”
Prop: In Phil. 2:14-16 Christians are admonished to quit complaining.
BG: 1. Paul was writing this letter from a “dark” place. Imprisoned. Awaiting possible execution. Several false teachers undermining him. A lot of opportunity to complain about his lot. However, he doesn’t. In fact, calls us to the exact opposite!
Prop: Let’s look at Phil. 2:14-16 to realize 3 aspects of Paul’s call for the Christian to quit complaining.
I. Background: The Dangers of Discontentment.
A. The Sad State of Sullen Discontentment
1. Sullen Discontentment Creeps into Any Individual or Society that Doesn’t Express Gratitude to God.
a. Illust: We see this in our society today. “Modern Western society is by far the most prosperous culture in the history of mankind. Nearly everyone has all that they need or could even legitimately want. However, they are seldom satisfied. Consequently, ours is also arguably the most discontented society ever.” (MacArthur, p. 175) The Boomers complain about the young adults and the young adults complain about the Boomers. Many people literally live in fantasy worlds of online gaming and social media with very little interaction in the real world. We have every form of entertainment at the touch of a screen. The media in general and advertising in particular, desire to make us dissatisfied with our lot by continually assaulting our senses with unattainable and alluringly unrealistic options. Although seemingly unattainable, “personal happiness” is the supreme objective of our lives. The end result is disappointment and discontentment.
b. “Discontentment breeds impatience, another defining characteristic of our times.” (MacArthur, p. 176). We see this exemplified in so many areas of life. Fights in Wal Mart lines, rude people, inconsiderate behavior in public, road rage, affairs of the heart, and even violent crimes such as child abuse and murder. Where does it come from? Your father!
2. From Where does our Nature to Complain Originate?
a. Your father! (All mothers said, “Amen”!) Not, however, your paternal parent, but rather, your Federal Head (Not Trump!), Adam! The first man, the pinnacle of God’s creation, the Federal head of the human family, the progenitor of all peoples, Adam, proved to be the first complainer. We remember back in Gen. 3:12, immediately after his disobedience in eating the forbidden fruit, he blamed Eve for his sin and even directed his discontentment towards God: “The woman that YOU GAVE me…” Implication is that it was God’s fault! Oh, dear ones, how often in our sullen discontentment we insinuate discontentment with our Heavenly Father for the manifold good gifts He has given us.
b. The Biblical history of discontentment does not end with Adam. The first child, Cain, complains bitterly to God that his punishment for the killing of his brother Abel (Gen. 4:13-14) is too harsh! The great man of God, Moses, complained to God that He had not delivered Israel quickly enough from Egypt (Ex. 5:22). After a total of three days in the wilderness Israel complained about the water at Marah. After God sweetened the waters it was but a short time and again they were complaining about the contents of the menu (Ex.16:2ff)
B. Discontentment Breeds Impatience that Results in Faithlessness.
1. Again, we need to look no further than the initial days of the nation of Israel.
a. In Num. 13:30ff, we see that Moses had sent the 12 spies (One from each tribe.) to scout the land of Caanan. Two faithful spies, Joshua and Caleb, spoke up and declared upon returning: “We should by all means go up and take possession of it, for we will certainly overcome it.” However, that was not the majority opinion. “We are not able to go up against the people, for they are too strong for us…” And they gave Israel a bad report, What was the result? Because of this faithless complaining, “All the sons of Israel grumbled against Moses and Aaron; and the whole congregation said to them, “It would have been better that we had died in the land of Egypt! Or would we have died in the wilderness! (Num.14:2). Then they grumbled directly against God! (Num. 14:2-4) This complaining fomented outright rebellion wherein the people determined to stone Joshua and Caleb and Aaron and Moses! (14:10). Their discontentment resulted in their rejecting God’s plans, God’s purposes, God’s people, and ultimately the Person of God Himself. God’s curse fell upon the people and each one would die in the wilderness over the next forty years, never entering the Promised Land that could have been theirs in weeks.
b. Illust: Friend, may I gently tell you that need to address your discontentment. You need to stop your complaining. Right now, you and I may very easily be missing out on God’s best for our lives because we have believed the devil’s lie that God is holding out or holding back His best from you.
2. In I Cor. 10:9-10 Paul once again addresses the matter of complaining and grumbling.
a. READ I Cor. 10:9-10. In actuality, every complaint a believer makes is ultimately against the Lord, and it is one of the ugliest sins we can indulge in. Complaining against other believers is especially serious, because ultimately, those individuals are also His children, made in His image! James 5:9 “Do not complain, brethren, against one another, so that you yourselves may not be judged; behold, the Judge is standing at the door.”
b. Illust: Remember hearing about old Iowa farmer who had mean and constantly complaing and disrespectful spouse. From morning till night she would complain about something or the other. The only time he got relief was in field with mule. One day as he was plowing, his wife brought him lunch. Tied mule to tree and began to eat lunch. Immediately, wife began tearing into him about something. W/o warning, the mule lashed out w/ both hind feet, killing her on the spot! At the visitation, the pastor noticed something odd. When women would come, the farmer would listen for a minute, nod his head in agreement, but when men approached him, he would listen for a minute and shake his head in disagreement. After the burial the pastor asked him as to why he nodded his head in agreement to the women but always shook his head in disagreement with all men. The farmer said, "The women would come up and says something nice about my wife and I’d nod my head in agreement." "What about the men?" the pastor asked. "The men knew that the donkey killed my wife and all they wanted to know was if my donkey was for sale."
c. Applic: Discontentment and complaining is at its roots a spiritual problem that affects all people.
II. The Command to Quit Complaining v. 14
A. Paul Clearly Commands His Readers to “Quit complaining!”
1. The Apostle instructs his readers to a disciplined obedience.
a. “all things” refers back here, I believe, to vv. 12-13, the attitude with which we work out our salvation. Everything we do in that process should be w/o grumbling and complaining/disputing. In fact, instead of complaining, we are to determine to rejoice! (Phil. 4:4)
b. As a Christian, who is given to complain from time to time. I find this passage pretty convicting!
2. Defining two key words in the passage.
a. “grumbling” – from gongusmos, and onomatopoetic word that sounds like the guttural muttering sounds people make when they are disgruntled! (Illust – Demonstrate!) It’s a negative response to something that is perceived to be unpleasant, inconvenient, or unpleasant. Illust: Do you remember the story Jesus tells of the resentful laborers who worked for the vineyard owner in Mt. 20? At the end of the day when payment was made for their labor, those who were hired late in the day were paid the same amount as those who were hired earlier in the day. V. 11 “And when they received it, they grumbled at the landowner.”
b. “disputing” – from dialogismos – which means to have inner reasoning about a matter, from which we get the English word, “dialogue”. However, it carries with it a more specific idea of questioning, doubting or disputing the truth or the truthfulness of a matter. In Rom. 14:1 the word is used of passing judgment on another believer’s opinions. Now listen up, because I think this is important. Whereas “grumbling” is more emotionally based, “disputing” seems to be more intellectually based. Listen, NEITHER are excused. You might say, “Well, I’m a more emotional person, and sometimes I just blurt out what I am feeling and can’t help it.” Learn to tame your tongue! Others might say, “Well, I am just a more logical and intellectual person who loves to argue finer points.” Recognize you are proud and arrogant and repent!
B. Reject the Worldview that appeals to grumbling and complaining/disputing.
1. Grumbling and Disputing are part and parcel of this world’s system.We need to be reminded of where our ultimate citizenship is as followers of Jesus Christ. You see, as followers of Jesus Christ, we simultaneously live in two Kingdoms. We live in and according to Christ’s Kingdom values, yet we live in the very fallen Kingdom of this present world. So, we must realize that we live in a fallen world with unredeemed bodies (Rom. 7:18). We have trials and tests. We are told to expect persecution (I Tim. 3:12). As a result, if we think everything should go perfectly, we’re confused about which Kingdom we’re presently living in & which we’ll attain upon our death/Christ’s return.
2. Illust: My mother-in-law has told us stories of her grandparents. One of her grandmothers was a very godly woman who loved the Lord. She would often sing His praises around the house. The only problem, she had a perfectly awful voice! As a little girl, my mother-in-law would beg her grandmother to sing…and then laugh at how terribly she sounded! Response: “Oh Barbara Jean, one day, when I get to heaven, God is going to give me a beautiful voice!” I think her grandma had things figured out pretty well. While here, she was going to do her best, but she wasn’t going to complain about it, because she knew the best was yet to come!
C. Applic: How often do you and I complain? Does it glorify God?
III. The Reasons to Quit Complaining vv.15-16
A. For Our Own Sake.
1. The Lives of Children Reflect on the Parents.
a. Children reflect on their parents, don’t they? Now let’s remember, all children are selfish, rebellious sinners by nature. They all are immature and express themselves in inappropriate ways. They all grumble at times. No child is sinless. But, even so, children will take on the behaviors, attitudes, and words of their parents. Children’s attitudes reflect on the parents. If a child is sullen, unhappy, and always complaining about life, it doesn’t speak well of the parents. It may be that the parents are truly loving, caring, people who provide well for their kids. But the child’s bad attitude makes people think poorly of the parents, no matter how good of parents they really are. Sometimes children, like parents, need to have their attitudes adjusted. It is the parent’s responsibility to do this. God does this to us. Are we reflecting our Heavenly Father?
b. This seems to be a little strange at first read. Paul is calling us to be what we already are. JA Motyer once said: “The glory of Christian ethics is that we are called to be what we are.” (Motyer, p. 103). It’s interesting that after telling us to “do all things” he does not specify any one thing! He does not lay out a course of action but does in fact call out for a kind of action – without murmuring or disputing.
2. Paul declares 3 Specific Characteristics Should Be demonstrated by the Christian.
a. 1st characteristic: Blameless has the nuance of moral integrity as seen by others. It points to our outwardly observable behavior, i.e. attitudes. Nothing in our lives should give an occasion for scandal, where unbelievers can look at how we live and say, “I thought he was a Christian! How can he be a Christian and live like that?” A great example of a blameless man is Daniel, who lived in Babylon and served in that pagan government. When his enemies wanted to find some charge against him to bring him down, because they were jealous of his position, they realized, “We shall not find any ground of accusation against this Daniel unless we find it against him with regard to the law of his God” (Dan. 6:5).
b. 2nd characteristic: innocent. This word focuses on inward moral integrity, which is the proper root of outwardly blameless behavior. It focuses on what we are in our thought life before God. It’s possible to put on a good front at church, but to be leading a double life. You can be an upright man at church, but be filled with lustful thoughts, always checking out the women. You can be a nice, smiling man at church, but be an angry tyrant with your family. All sin starts in our thoughts or mind (Mark 7:20-23). Thus we have to judge our sinful thoughts and take every thought captive to the obedience of Jesus Christ (2 Cor. 10:5) so that we will be not only blameless, but innocent.
c. 3rd characteristic: above reproach. It’s a summary of the other two and means, without blemish. Interesting history of the word, amoma. In Greek, the letter “a” negates something. So the word means, the opposite of moma. “Momus” was a carping Greek god who did nothing himself and found fault with everybody and everything. So those who gripe and find fault came to be called “Moma.” But Paul says that the children of God are not to be fault-finders and gripers. Our testimony of Christ should be uppermost in our minds so that we glorify Him by how we live. Illust: Lot of our Christian podcasts are nothing more than “moma time”. Don’t stay late or over at BF or GF’s apartment/home. “But we didn’t have sex.” We are to refrain from even the appearance of evil.
B. For the Sake of the Lost
1. We are to live without grumbling and disputing for the sake of the Lost.
a. I find it interesting that Paul’s focus here is NOT on social involvement, but rather, on social contrast. So many of the churches today think their goal and focus must be social involvement. They think we need to look and act so much like the world so we can be accepted and approved of by the world. However, Paul says the exact opposite. “A crooked and perverse generation, in which you shine like stars.”
b. Might I state the obvious? “Crooked” is the opposite of straight (Take that however you want.) Is from the word “scolios” from which we get the medical term “scoliosis” for curvature of the spine. It’s used metaphorically about anything that deviates from the standard or norm. Illust: I think Paul was pulling this from Dt. 32:5, where Moses described unfaithful Israel as a “crooked and perverse generation”. Listen, when the Mainline Church calls “good” what God calls “perversity”, they are not doing the lost person any favors. In fact, it is cowardice and it is ultimately unloving, because it lulls the sinner into a false sense of celebrated security, when in fact they should feel desperately insecure casting themselves w/o reserve on the Person and Work of Jesus Christ.
2. Live in Such a Way that Your Life Points People to Christ.
a. We live in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation that refuses to submit to the Lordship of Jesus Christ. It’s a world marked by grumbling and complaining. In the original temptation, Satan got Eve to doubt the goodness of God, and ever since he seeks to do the same. People won’t trust in a God whose goodness is in question. So here are God’s people, delivered from bondage to sin by God’s mighty salvation through the death and resurrection of the Lord Jesus. They have seen His power. Then they get into a wilderness situation, a trial where they run out of some basic resource and don’t have a clue where it’s going to come from. What do we do? Do we grumble and dispute with God: “How could You do this to me when I’ve faithfully followed You?” Or, filled with joy in the Lord, do they shine forth as lights in the darkness? The testimony of Christ is at stake.
b. “Lights” means luminaries, things that shine. Christian you are a star! When do stars shine the brightest? When the night is the darkest. They shine, but not as brightly, when the moon is full. The stars shine during the day, but we can’t see them because the light of the sun blocks them out. But on a dark night, they shine the brightest. When can you bear the most effective witness for Jesus Christ? When you’re in the darkest place! It may be a place of personal trial, where you radiate with God’s joy in spite of your situation. Maybe you’re in a dark situation at work or school, surrounded by crooked and perverse people. If you do all things without grumbling or disputing, but rather are blameless, innocent, and above reproach, filled with joy in the Lord, you’re going to shine! Many people will never read the Bible, but they do read you.
c. Applic: Christians, we need to quit complaining for our own sakes and for the sake of the lost.
