“And I will very gladly spend and be spent for you; though the more abundantly I love you, the less I be loved.”
Have you ever reached a point where you said to yourself: “Lord, I’ve done all I know how to do—at home, in the marriage, in the ministry, and in my life—and it still seems like nobody cares?”
What I have noticed lately is, there is a major attack on marriages, ministries, relationships, and families.
You’ve given your best, not your leftovers.
You’ve served with your whole heart. Not half heartily.
You’ve prayed, sacrificed, fast and forgiven, endowed and endured.
Yet somehow, instead of appreciation, you’re met with nothing but neglected.
Instead of gratitude, you’re met with grumbling.
Instead of love, you’re met with silence.
This sermon is for the tired spouse…
The overlooked servant…
The faithful pastor…
The one who cries in the dark, while leading in the light.
WHEN YOU’VE DONE YOUR BEST IN MARRIAGE
Marriage, when done God’s way, is a covenant—not a contract. You’ve poured love, time, patience, and forgiveness into your spouse, but it feels one-sided.
You may ask: “Lord, why am I the only one trying?”
“Why do I feel unloved in a relationship that was meant to reflect your love for the Church?”
And here is God’s response to your question. God says: “I see you. I’ve kept every tear in a bottle (Psalm 56:8), which say.- Thou tellest my wanderings: put thou my tears into thy bottle: are they not in thy book? In other words God is saying: “You are not invisible to Me.”
Even when your spouse does not see the weight you carry, God sees.
And when love isn’t returned, know that your love isn’t wasted—it’s sown.
Let me drop this in your mailbox. God honors what you’ve sown.
WHEN YOU’VE DONE YOUR BEST IN MINISTRY
Paul said in our text. “I will gladly spend and be spent… though the more I love, the less I be loved.”
Sometime ministry is often thankless. You pour yourself out to the people who treats it like it’s never enough.
You serve behind the scenes. You preach, counsel, visit, give, and still face betrayal, gossip, and abandonment.
But remember this: Jesus fed 5,000 and only 1 followed Him to the cross.
If the Savior Himself was abandoned, rejected, and misjudged, don’t be surprised when you experience the same.
But He never gave up. And may I tell you that you should never give up either.
You’re not doing this for likes, handclaps, or recognition.
You’re doing it for the “Well done.” Well done, thy good and faithful servant you have been faithful over a few things I will make you ruler over many.
WHEN YOU’VE DONE YOUR BEST IN LIFE AND PEOPLE STILL DON’T CARE
Sometimes it’s not just marriage or ministry—it’s life.
You raise your children right…
You show up for them when they need you…
But when you need someone, the phone doesn’t ring.
Your name is forgotten.
Your heart is neglected.
But I have good news for you this morning and here’s the truth: God never overlooks a faithful heart.
Hebrews 6:10 says: “For God is not unrighteous to forget your work and labour of love…”
He sees the hidden kindness.
He sees when you pray for others who never pray for you.
He sees when you give, and no one gives back.
But God says: “Keep going. I’ve got you.”
But Pastor WHAT TO DO WHEN YOU FEEL UNLOVED
1. Refocus your expectations.
Don’t place divine expectations on human hearts. People are limited. But God is limitless. He’s the only one who can love you perfectly.
2. Remember your worth isn’t based on others’ responses
Jesus still called Judas “friend” even when Judas was planning his betrayal. Your value does not decrease based on someone’s inability to appreciate you.
3. Rest in God’s affirmation
You may not hear “thank you” down here—but heaven is keeping score. There is a reward for every tear, every seed, every silent sacrifice.
Closing Story:
There’s a story of a missionary who labored in Africa for over 40 years. When he finally returned to the U.S., nobody greeted him at the dock. No church banners. No celebration. It was just silence.
He looked up and said, “Lord, after all I’ve done… no one cares.” No one love me like I love them. He said God I feel abandoned. And in that moment, he heard God whisper:
“You’re not home yet.”
Let me talk to the weary spouse, the tired pastor, the uncelebrated servant.
You have done your best.
You are seen.
You are valued.
You are loved by the one who matters most.
And in due season, you will reap—if you faint not.
I’m reminded of a story about the Empty Chair.
There was a man named Elijah—not the prophet, but a modern-day husband, father, and pastor.
Elijah had given his life to serving others.
In his marriage, he was faithful. He remembered the anniversaries when his wife forgot. He prayed for her even while sleeping alone in a cold bed. He apologized first—even when he wasn’t wrong.
In ministry, he gave his all. He preached, counseled, buried the dead, married the broken, and gave until he had nothing left but God. But still, people gossiped behind his back, left his church without a word, and said, “He ain’t anointed like he used to be.”
In life, he helped everybody. If you needed a ride, he showed up. If your lights were off, he dipped into his own bill money. He made meals for people who forgot his birthday year after year.
But one day, Elijah came home early to surprise his wife. He walked in with flowers in his hand, ready to remind her that love still lived—even in weary places.
But the house was quiet.
Too quiet.
He walked to the living room and found a note on the table.
She was gone.
The letter read. “I’m tired,” it said. “You care more about church people than you care about me.”
A few weeks later, he stood to preach—trying to hold himself together. The sanctuary was half full. He poured out his heart. No one responded. No one knew he hadn’t slept in days. No one knew he cried on the bathroom floor before church.
After service, he went home and sat down at the dinner table.
The chair across from him—empty.
His phone—silent.
His heart—shattered.
He looked up and said, “God, I’ve done everything I know how to do. I’ve loved hard. I’ve served well. I’ve given my best. Why does it feel like no one cares?”
And that night, while he sat with tears dripping into his plate, he felt a warmth wrap around him.
It wasn’t a hug from a spouse.
It wasn’t a visit from a friend.
But it was the presence of God.
And he heard the still, small voice whisper:
God said Elijah My son, I see you. I know. And I care for you.
I will never leave you. I will never forsake you.
This table may be empty—but your reward is full.”
Elijah got up. Weary, but not broken.
Alone, but not unloved.
Tired, but still standing.
Because sometimes, when you’ve done your best and the world turns away, God turns toward you.
To everyone sitting at an “empty table” in life…
To every heart that’s been broken in the fight to do what’s right…
God is still with you.
And the One who sees in secret…
Will reward you openly.
You have done your best.
And that’s more than enough.
