The Choice To Be A Father
Psalms 1:1-6 Ephesians 6:1-4 Text Luke 7:11-17
Today is father’s day. It is a day we take time to say thank you to the men in this world who have impacted our lives in a wonderful and helpful way. For some of us it is a day of sadness and reflection for those men and fathers who are no longer with us on this side of the grave, but fond memories of them remain in our hearts.
For some it is a day of rejoicing and celebrating because those men are still with us and still bringing joy into our lives. For some it is a day of regret, as we think about what might have been if only circumstances had been different and different choices had been made.
I can honestly say that being a father has been one of the most rewarding blessings that God sent into my life. My second most loved name to be called by is Dad. I would tell you my most favorite which comes from my wife, but I would hear some of you calling it out for the rest of the day as a joke.
One of the great honors of serving at Roxbury, at Glenville, at Calvary, and at New Life at Calvary for an extended numbers of years was watching so many of the men becoming great fathers, husbands and leaders in the church.
I watched several of you men who had no children of your own, yet you heavily invested in the youth of this church. As a pastor, you do think of the youth in the church as your own in a spiritual kind of way. I am so proud of so many of your accomplishments in life and in your walk with the Lord. You all will never what a tremendous impact you have had on my life. For that I say thank you.
So often we can’t see the impact that our lives have on others, so I encourage you to look around you and for father’s day, call and tell a man who may not know what a blessing they were in your life through something they may have done for you or said to you. I shared the story once, of when I was a twelve year old boy in Georgia back in 1968 when segregation was the law of the land. Racism was normal and in Dublin still had the white and colored fountains at the filling stations and bus station.
I got caught stealing in a grocery store, and I was terrified after being taken into a room in the back of the store with two white men. They closed the door and fear gripped my heart as a little Negro kid. But I was not terrified enough to keep from telling a lie. When the young white store manager asked me why I was stealing, I said,” Some older boys made me do it or they were going to beat me up”.
The young manager told me, to go home and have my parents call the store or else he was going to send the police to my house. I got home as soon as I could and had my grandmother call while my mother was at work.
I knew I could smooth talk my grandmother a lot easier than my mom. She called and I heard the manager say to her, “He seemed like a nice kid and I didn’t want to ruin his life by getting the police involved. You all handle the situation.” I didn’t go back into that store until decades later after my life had been totally changed.
The store had changed its name and was called Piggly Wiggly. I went into the store on one of my vacation visits back to Dublin. I saw this older white man who looked vaguely familiar. I went up to him and asked, “Excuse me sir, but were you ever a manager in this store back when it was called Colonial.” He said, “yes I was.”
I said you won’t remember this but when I was twelve years old, I stole something out of the store and got caught, and you gave me a second chance. I want you to know I went on to become a Christian, A presbyterian pastor, and a lawyer. Thank you for giving me that second chance. He said, “Son you have really made my day.” But in actuality, being able to say thank you to him, made my day. Is there anyone left that you can say thank you to for helping you more than they will know?
How many of you know that you would not be here today if your parents never existed? How many of you that you would not be here today if your grandparents never existed? How many of you know that you would not be here today if your great-grandparents had never existed? If we stop right there, do you realize God had to organize 30 people’s lives for you to be born and that 15 of them were men. So even if you had problems with one of the 15, be thankful for the other 14 whom God used to make you possible.
When it comes to Father’s Day, there is one Father to whom we all owe a great debt. Whether you call him Lord, Yahweh, Jehovah, The Almighty, The Eternal God, or Father, the Scriptures tell us, “For God so loved the world, that He gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him, shall not perish, but shall have everlasting life. For God did not send his son into the world, to condemn the world, but to save the world through Him. For anyone who does not believe stands condemned already, for he has not believed in God’s one and only son.”
In other words, God saw that the world was on fire with people in danger. He sent Jesus into a burning building to bring out of it, all those who wanted to be saved. Many came out following after Jesus to safety, but many others died because they would not believe that Jesus could lead them to safety out of the building.
I think one of the great attributes we find in God the Father and in Jesus Christ, that needs to be replicated more often in us men, is the gift of Compassion. When I think about regrets from the past, I wished I had been more compassionate in my tone and in my anger as both a husband and a father. God loved us not because we deserved it, but because God is a compassionate God.
I remember Chuck Swindoll saying that one of his regrets as a father, was that he wished he had said yes more to his children. Sometimes we say no when we really don’t have to. My grandchildren are benefiting from Chuck’s words.
Sometimes we are naïve enough to believe that life is going to be fair to all of us and that we will be given equal opportunities for success in life. But that’s not the gospel of Jesus Christ. Part of our calling as believers is to undo some of the injustices that we encounter in the lives of others.
There is a woman who is not named in the Scriptures, so far the purpose of this message I will call her Sharon. Sharon was married, and she and her husband had a wonderful son whom they both loved dearly. They lived in the city of Nain, which was about 25 miles away from the city of Capernaum where Jesus spent a lot of time with the 12 disciples. Nain was even closer to Nazareth where Jesus had grown up.
It looked as though Sharon was set for life. Her husband was there to take care of her, and knowing that women outlived men in general, she would have her son to take care of her in her old age. There were no social security benefits in those days.
But things didn’t go according to plan, and Sharon found herself burying her husband much sooner than she had ever imagined. She found herself a single mom with the struggles that go with it. But her son was nearing the age where he could work and make a living for the two of them. But then the unthinkable happened, right as her son was really coming of age to make some money he too died suddenly.
That funeral was one of the saddest days of her life. It was the custom of the Jews then, to bury someone the same day the person died. Can you imagine just how painful that would be to know your only child died at 9am, and you were expected to have all the funeral arrangements made by 3pm that afternoon, so that the body would be in the ground by 6?
She was crushed. She was heartbroken. She didn’t know what she was going to do once they left the cemetery. Her son is being carried lying on a wood frame by a group of about 6 men. He’s not in a coffin. He’s lying there on top of this frame looking as though he was only sleeping. She is walking in front of the men carrying the body, and behind them would be family or paid mourners who would wail and scream to draw attention to the body.
As they passed people on the street, people would join in the group procession to follow her and the body to the cemetery outside the city. Lots of people would be there because this was a young man who had died.
It just so happened that a crowd was coming from the opposite direction being led by a man whose mother had also spent a good portion of her life as a widow.
Jesus, his disciples, and a large crowd following them were heading towards the gates of the city of Nain. Whereas the crowd coming from the city were solemn and quiet except for the wails of the professional mourners, the crowd approaching the city was loud and boisterous.
They had seen Jesus do all kinds of miracles in Capernaum, and many in the crowd were waiting to see what Jesus might do next. They were following Jesus not because they were committed to him personally, but just going along with the crowd.
The crowd coming out of the gates of the city is being led by a woman in tears overcome with grief. The crowd coming to the gates of the city is being led by Jesus Christ, one who will also one day shed tears and become acquainted with grief.
Luke chapter 7 tells us, “When the Lord saw her, his heart went out to her and he said, “Don’t cry.” Even with the pressure of a busy schedule of ministry to do, Jesus chooses to be a Father to this woman. When Jesus saw her pain, her hurt, and her struggles, the Scriptures tell us, his heart went out to her. Men to be a father or to become a father to others, we must allow our hearts to be tender enough to feel the hurt of others without being judgmental.
The world would have us believe that to be a man, you have to be tough, not at all emotional, and careful not to let things get to close to you. Jesus was both God and man. You couldn’t be any tougher or stronger than he was. He went toe to toe with the devil and with death and won both rounds.
Yet he had a heart of compassion for people. Jesus wants to give each and every one of us a new heart this Father’s day It's not enough to just follow Jesus at a distance as many in the crowd were doing that day. The goal in becoming a believer, is to become as much like Christ as the Holy Spirit working in us want us to be.
They didn’t have tv’s and facebook and cameras back then, so it is very unlikely that this woman, Sharon, knew it was Jesus speaking to her. She probably had no idea what Jesus looked like. She must have been a little taken back by Jesus’ words, “Don’t Cry”. She must have thought,” doesn’t he know what I’m going through.” “Can’t he see that I’m burying my son.” “Doesn’t he know it is improper to interrupt a funeral procession?” What would your reaction have been?
Sometimes when people want to show compassion toward us, we jump to too many conclusions. We wonder what are they up to? What are their real motives? Am I about to be swindled? Is this a scam?
But there are times when others really do have our best interests at heart because they are being sent by God to us. Don’t tie up the hands of God because of your pride of believing you can handle everything all by yourself. Sometimes you may have to let someone become a father in your life. This widow needed a father, even if it was just going to be for a little while.
The Scriptures do not tell us how the woman responded or what she had to say. Jesus stepped on past her and went to the wooden boards her son was lying on. Now Jesus knew that according to the ceremonial law, if you touched a dead body or even anything a dead body was on, it would cause you to be unclean.
But being the Son of God, Jesus knew there was nothing that could make him unclean. I want you to know today, there’s nothing you have done in the past, that will keep Jesus from reaching out to touch you. There is power in a touch from Jesus.
When he reached out and touched the bier, the men carrying the body stopped. This meant everybody behind them had to stop. People in the back are all wondering, “What’s going on up there in front. Why are we stopping. We haven’t reached the cemetery yet”. Somebody else is saying, “I haven’t got time for this. I’m going back home.”
When Jesus starts to move in our lives, all our plans might come to a halt. His compassion for this one widow is about to change everybody else’s plans for the rest of the day. Men, when we choose to be compassionate fathers, it has a rippling effect through many other lives that we will never know.
Your compassion just might be setting up a person for success in life and in their walk with God. It may be a compassion of your time, a compassion of your resources, a compassion of a gift, or even a compassion of forgiveness. So many of us need to simply forgive some fathers who are now even dead, for what they did or didn’t do. Not because they deserve it, but because we want to be come all that God wants us to be.
This woman did not ask anything of Jesus. She did not expect anything of Jesus, and she wasn’t even sure why he was there. The passage doesn’t say anything her lifestyle or faith in Jesus. But God had a plan for her life that would exceed her wildest imagination.
Jesus went over, touched the bier. He then looked at the young dead man on his way to the cemetery and said in verse 14. “Young man, I say to you get up!” Before anybody could say, “Who does he think he is? Doesn’t he know he’s telling a dead man to get up”, the Scriptures tell us that the dead man sat up and began to talk.
How many of you know somebody got scared and took off running, yelling “run for your life, a dead man is up there talking.” Now the funeral crowd was in confusion with some running away from the dead man and others running to see the dead man talking.
But Jesus was not concerned with what the crowd was doing. His concern was for the woman who was overcome with grief. Can you imagine the expression that came over her when she heard her son’s voice regardless of what he was saying? Can you sense the emotion that came over her, when she saw Jesus help lift her son off that bier and brought his hand back to hers? Those tears of sorrow, burst into sobs of joy.
Jesus had compassion not only on Sharon but also on her son. Jesus was giving this young man a second chance in life. Men, there are so many young people who need a second chance and God wants you to be the role model for them of what it means to be a man of God. What it means to choose to be a father to someone even if its only for a moment? As long as you have breath in your lungs, its not too late for God to use you to make a difference.
When the people saw what Jesus had done for Sharon and her son, the Scriptures tell us in 7:16 16 They were all filled with awe and praised God. “A great prophet has appeared among us,” they said. “God has come to help his people.” 17 This news about Jesus spread throughout Judea and the surrounding country. Lk 7:16–17.
Jesus’ decision to be a father to Sharon and her son, caused people to praise and glorify God. Remember, our purpose of being alive as a believer is to glorify God and to get others to do the same.
The apostle Paul wrote in 1 Corinthians chapter 4 about the trials and the difficulties they had endured as apostles seeking to impact the lives of others for the cause of Jesus Christ. He made this statement, 15 Even if you had ten thousand guardians in Christ, you do not have many fathers, for in Christ Jesus I became your father through the gospel. In other words, there are many people willing to teach you things, but not all are going to bring a heart of compassion to the relationship as I did.
My friends the greatest father ever known, did not give physical birth to any children. But the scriptures tell us in John that to all them that believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God, children born not of natural descent, nor of a human decision or a husband’s will. But born of God.
Jesus wants to adopt each and everyone us as one of his children. But we can’t come on our terms. We can’t come trying to strike up a deal. We can only come admitting that we are sinners who cannot save ourselves. We must believe that when Jesus died on the cross, he died for our sins. We must demonstrate our belief by choosing to give Jesus Christ full control of our lives, so that Jesus can deposit the Holy Spirit into our hearts. It’s the Holy Spirit that will lead you to the choice of choosing to become more compassionate.
One day we shall lie in our own graves. We are going to hear the voice of God say the same thing as Jesus did to this young man. “I say to you get up.” When we do, we too shall start talking. What do you think you will be saying?
This sermon is a Father’s Day Message encouraging men to choose to become fathers as Jesus did by being compassionate to others. He raises the widow of Nain’s son.
