Opening:
Our children grow up and live in a world that is experiencing great and rapid change. They live in a very advanced technological era where everything is computerized and starts to involve Artificial Intelligence. They cannot be separated from the internet. Social media has become an important part of their lives. Currently, more than half of US teens spend an average of 7 hours and 22 minutes of daily screen time. According to Gallup, teens spend an average of 4.8 hours on social media per day.
They live differently from their parents and face different challenges. Nevertheless, their needs from their parents are still the same. Children everywhere and throughout the ages need these four things from their parents. Therefore, as we celebrate Father’s Day today, I want to encourage you, the fathers, to fulfill the needs of your children.
1. Our Children Need Love
Love is a basic need for every person. Love is even needed from the time a person is in the womb. People who experience a lack of love would most likely suffer from various negative impacts, such as being selfish, easily offended, and lacking empathy for others. Children need to know that God, their Creator, loves them. More than that, they also need love from their mothers and fathers. Psalm 103:13 interestingly relates a father’s love with God’s love: “As a father has compassion on his children, so the LORD has compassion on those who fear him.”
How do fathers demonstrate their love?
a. By expressing their love to them verbally. As Asians, we rarely, if ever, say: “I love you” to our children (not even to our spouses). However, we need to learn to express it to our children, especially if their 'love language' is words of affirmation.
b. By providing for the family’s needs. Paul states in 1 Timothy 5:8 – "If anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for his immediate family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever." A loving father is a responsible father. A father who loves his children will be willing to work hard to meet the needs of his family.
c. By spending time with them. According to the Pew Research Center, American mothers spend about twice as much time with their children as fathers do. In 2011, the average childcare time was 7.3 hours per week for fathers and 13.5 hours per week for mothers. As fathers, we sometimes are too busy with our jobs, ministry, and hobbies. We forget to spend time with our children. A good father not only provides for his family's financial needs but also love and care. Some fathers make mistakes by thinking that their children only need money. A good father also spends time with his children.
The National Library of Medicine states, “Parental accompaniment is an important determinant of children's well-being. Family education, guidance services, and mental health services should be strengthened, and it is necessary to improve the time spent with children and to pay attention to individual differences in children.”
2. Our Children Need Teachings and Instruction
Deuteronomy 4:9-10 tells, “Only be careful and watch yourselves closely so that you do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them fade from your heart as long as you live. Teach them to your children and to their children after them. Remember the day you stood before the Lord your God at Horeb, when he said to me, “Assemble the people before me to hear my words so that they may learn to revere me as long as they live in the land and may teach them to their children.”
Fathers must teach their children to know God and His principles. Otherwise, Hollywood, social media, their friends, and their secular teachers will teach and influence them. If we want our children to grow well and be successful in their lives, we must spend time with them to teach them about God, salvation in Jesus Christ, virtues, morals, ethics, skills, manners, relationships, and communication. We must shape their characters!
Remember what God told to fathers in Deuteronomy 6:4-7 - "Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up."
On the other hand, children also must listen to their fathers. Proverbs 3:1-2 “My son, do not forget my teaching, but keep my commands in your heart, for they will prolong your life many years and bring you peace and prosperity.” Proverbs 4:1 "Listen, my sons, to a father’s instruction; pay attention and gain understanding."
3. Our Children Need Discipline
As I often say, our children are born into this world bringing the seeds of sins that will be manifested in their attitudes and behaviors as they grow. That is why we need to correct their wrong behaviors and attitudes through discipline. Proverbs 13:24 says, "He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him." Proverbs 22:15 also says, "Folly (or foolishness) is bound up in a heart of a child, but the rod of discipline will drive it far from him."
You need to know the difference between discipline and punishment. Punishment is based on upholding the law and justice. Discipline is based on upholding the rules and love. Therefore, punishment often causes rebellion. Discipline draws you closer together. Punishment is spoken with anger and harshness. Discipline is usually spoken kindly and lovingly. Punishment produces a bitter, poisonous fruit. Discipline produces the fruit of acting in the right way or righteousness.
We need to tell our children that we have responsibility to discipline them because we love them as Proverbs 3:11-12 says, “My son, do not despise the Lord’s discipline, and do not resent his rebuke, because the Lord disciplines those he loves, as a father the son he delights in.” Children, be grateful if your father disciplines you. It shows how he loves and cares for you! Proverbs 15:5 says, "A fool spurns his father’s discipline, but whoever heeds correction shows prudence." How did your father discipline you? The method is not so important as just doing the job.
Up to what age can parents discipline their children? Illustration: A father of a teenage son said to his neighbor, "Junior is at that awkward age. He’s too old for spanking and too young for analysis. I wonder what the appropriate age is to discipline him?" The neighbor answered: “I think as long as children are at home, they are not too old to be disciplined.” I agree with this opinion, but the form of discipline must be adjusted to the child's age.
Video Clip: Father, You Are Vital (From SermonCentral)
You need to thank God today if you had a father who loved you enough to take the time to discipline you.
4. Our Children Need Protection.
God calls fathers to protect their children from any danger and harm. A father should protect his children from making the wrong decision, such as associating with bad friends and dating or marrying the wrong person. A responsible father protects his children from any harmful or dangerous things, like becoming addicted to games, drugs, and pornography, that can destroy his children’s brains. Also from the bad influences of social media, LGBTQ activists, Satanic clubs, and their liberal/secular teachers.
Closing:
Video Clip: This is a Dad (From SermonCentral)
Happy Father's Day! May God help us to be fathers who love, teach, discipline, and protect our children.
