How To Answer The Critics
Six days before the Passover, Jesus came to Bethany, where Lazarus lived, whom Jesus had raised from the dead. 2 Here a dinner was given in Jesus’ honor. Martha served, while Lazarus was among those reclining at the table with him. 3 Then Mary took about a pint[a] of pure nard, an expensive perfume; she poured it on Jesus’ feet and wiped his feet with her hair. And the house was filled with the fragrance of the perfume. 4 But one of his disciples, Judas Iscariot, who was later to betray him, objected, 5 “Why wasn’t this perfume sold and the money given to the poor? It was worth a year’s wages.[b]” 6 He did not say this because he cared about the poor but because he was a thief; as keeper of the money bag, he used to help himself to what was put into it. 7 “Leave her alone,” Jesus replied. “It was intended that she should save this perfume for the day of my burial. 8 You will always have the poor among you,[c] but you will not always have me.” John 12:1-8
Intro: Today we deal with some real life issues.
We all have to deal with difficult people.
Weather it is at work, at school, at the store, at home, or even at church.
The way we handle difficult people says a lot about our spiritual maturity.
We can measure our spiritual growth
by keeping tabs
on how we respond and intervene to things like conflict, hypocrisy, struggles, offenses, and forgiveness.
This sermon or one of the sermons that follows over the next three weeks
will hopefully cause us to examine the way we do things when confronted with the everyday challenges
of our emotions, our feelings, our pride, and our Christian character.
In fact I believe that the fourth and final sermon in this series
titled “How to Forgive the Rapist and the Murder”
will be one of the most powerful sermons I have ever preached.
You don’t want to miss a single sermon in this Worship Series.
Today we are going to start by looking at “How To Answer The Critics”
We begin with a familiar story…
Mary just had to show her appreciation for Jesus.
Jesus had just raised her brother, Lazarus, from the dead,
She had gone from utter despair to total jubilation.
Now, a few days later,
there is a banquet in Jesus’ honor
and everything seemed perfect to Mary.
Simon, the leper, was the host,
Simon was a friend that Jesus’ had healed of the dread disease of leprosy.
Lazarus, her brother, was there completely alive and enjoying the occasion.
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Mary was so caught up in this joyous time
and so grateful that Jesus had not only forgiven her sins, but He had reunited her family.
She just had to express it in some way.
So, she took a pint of nard,
an expensive perfume,
and poured it on Jesus’ feet.
Then, she wiped His feet with her hair,
and the house was filled with the fragrance of the perfume.
Mary did not draw out a carefully measured teaspoon of affection,
she took the whole jar and poured out its entire contents.
Now, this seems like such a heartwarming demonstration of love
And this would be a good place to stop in the story, but it didn’t stop there.
Judas Iscariot, the one who was later going to betray Jesus, objected.
“Why wasn’t this perfume sold and the money given to the poor?” he said.
“It was worth a year’s wages.”
The other Gospels say that some of the other disciples agreed with him.
Have you ever poured your heart into some service and labor of love for God
only to have somebody object and criticize what you have done?
Well, if it hasn’t happen to you…, you either have not been very involved in the church
Or it is likely to happen the next time you try to do something in service for the Lord.
Criticism can take the joy out of the best most sincere effort and deed.
This objection by Judas probably made Mary second guess herself,
and it may have made Jesus look like he was not caring about the poor
and the needs of others that this gift of oil could have benefited.
I am talking about how we as Christian are supposed to deal with difficult people.
The Bible says, “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” Romans 12:18
But, there are some people that are very difficult to get along with.
These can be people you are around every week.
Perhaps they two-faced or fickle or abusive.
Perhaps they eat you up when they are with you,
then you find out later they are criticizing and talking bad about you to others when you are not around.
In the book titled “Irregular People author, Joyce Landorf names them:
The arrogant person who thinks the rules don’t apply to them.
The superior person who pushes and breaks to the front of the line because they have important things to do.
The inconsiderate driver who holds the passing lane to keep you from going around.
The insensitive person who says, cheer up things can always get worse.
Do you know any irregular people?
Have you ever been an irregular person yourself?
It is always a challenge to live around irregular people in the normal, everyday flow of life.
Let’s think about how Jesus answered difficult people.
I hope we can learn a lot from His example.
Maybe more importantly, I hope that we will deepen in our appreciation for who Jesus is
and that we will fall in love with Jesus and with one another all over again.
Let’s start by examining Jesus’ reaction to the disapproval of Judas
and learn some vital lessons about how we ought to react to critical people.
The first lesson I see in this story is:
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Be Realistic; Criticism will happen.
No matter how noble your deed, criticism is inevitable.
No matter how hard you try, criticism is sure to come.
No matter that you have the best of intentions, criticism will happen.
On the surface
it may seem that nobody would be critical against Mary for breaking out this Alabaster jar,
but actually,
when you think about it, this is exactly the kind of thing that almost always causes criticism.
All eyes were on Jesus because he has just raised Lazarus from the dead.
It was just six days before Passover, and Jesus was going to die in less than a week.
So, tension was mounting.
AND…, It involved a lot of money.
Mary poured out an expensive flask of perfume worth a year’s worth of wages and that is a lot.
You want to get people stirred up; you just do something that involves a lot of money.
This church went through an 18 month capital campaign to pay down the debt on the family life center.
Does anyone think there weren’t critics?
Anything that involves large sums of money is subject to criticism.
Yet there was so much to celebrate and so much good that came out of it.
Mary’s deed was an emotional public display.
Perfume filled the house.
Everybody knew about it.
If you dedicate yourself wholeheartedly to any task,
those who are less than totally involved
those who have no “buy in”
They are not fully committed to the goals and outcome…,
They will criticize.
They will second-guess you;
They will offer commentary on problems without offering any answers or solutions.
In March the movie “I Can Only Imagine” came out.
It is about singer Bart Millard with the Christian band MercyMe.
Bart grew up in Greenville, Texas,
Bart suffers physical and emotional abuse at the hands of his father, Arthur.
When his father Arthur becomes terminally ill,
Arthur finds redemption by embracing his faith and rediscovering his love for his son.
Years later,
Bart's troubled childhood and mended relationship with his dad inspires him to write the hit song
"I Can Only Imagine" as sung by the Christian band MercyMe.
I read a story about from a pastor:
During a worship service a man named Phil MonHollen sang the song, “I Can Only Imagine”.
Phil always puts his heart and soul and facial expression in the song when he sings,
but this time when he sang the song, “I Can Only Imagine,” it was really powerful.
In the middle of the song, it asks, “When I see you, will I fall on my knees before you?”
When Phil sang that part of the song, he fell to his knees and just kept singing.
Now, Phil is a very genuine, humble person,
but do you know what the reaction to that was?
Someone said, “Oh, that was too melodramatic
Someone said, “That was drawing attention to himself.”
I wonder were those critics being more like Judas, or more like Mary?
Some are quick to criticize
Even when the service is something heart felt and inspired by the Holy Spirit of God.
Judas was not interested in saving the lost
Judas was not interested in sending out more disciples to preach salvation.
Judas would have been perfectly content Mary had just left that bottle of perfume on the shelf.
But because she dared to do something to serve her Lord
She put herself in a position to be criticized.
I don’t care whether you are a preacher, a coach, a teacher, or a parent, you are going to be criticized.
Any time you step out and try to do something you are opening yourself up to criticism.
Jesus was absolutely perfect and yet people complained about him all the time.
“Why are you eating with sinners?”
“Why are you healing on the Sabbath?”
Now, if Jesus, who was perfect, was criticized,
then how much more can we who are imperfect expect to be challenged on occasion also?
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Here is a second lesson: Be Spiritual: Discern the motives behind the criticism.
Jesus knew the motives of Judas.
Judas did not say this because he cared about the poor.
Jesus knew that.
In fact, Jesus knew that Judas was a theif.
He knew that as keeper of the moneybag, Judas often helped himself to what was put into it.
If you have an idea why people are critical, it is easier to cope with it.
Sometimes, criticism is deserved.
Some criticism is needed.
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Proverbs 15:31 says: “He who listens to a life-giving rebuke will be at home among the wise.”
If you listen to constructive criticism it will help you grow in understanding.
Some rebukes are life-giving.
To never be open to criticism would be a terrible downfall.
Criticism is often the foundation for improvement.
To be able to analyze what is right and what is wrong
is why some people are CEO’s and are paid BILLIONS of dollars in salary a year.
I have to say that as Pastor I have on many occasions had people give me good solid advice.
But it was done in the right way.
In a loving way. Where I was treated as their equal. Not talked down to.
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Proverbs 19:25 says: “…rebuke a discerning man, and he will gain knowledge.”
If you are a discerning person, sometimes you have to say, “Well, I think you are right.”
Let us work together and figure out what to do about it.
Sometimes people are critical because they are wounded themselves.
Dennis Fulton tells story about a dog he deeply loved for years,
but, one day, tragically, the dog was hit by a car and was wounded.
The dog was barking and barking.
Dennis said, “I ran out to pick the dog up and take him inside.
When I went to pick him up, my dog bit me.”
He said, “I raced inside, just crushed that my own dog would bite me.
I didn’t understand, but later I realized that he bit me because he was hurting so badly.”
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There is a saying: “Hurt people, hurt people.”
People often hurt other people because of some inner strive and pain. +SLIDE+
Another reason for criticism is:
A great deal of the injury and hurt is often caused by a lack of communication.
By misunderstandings.
Most of which could be resolved if people would just sit down together and talk.
But that do not happen very often.
Because when you are injured you not likely to be able to see or hear what someone else is saying.
I heard about a wife who just ragged on her husband,
criticized him constantly
and finally she started going to church, and she became a Christian.
After she became a Christian, she still criticized him
The man later said to a friend,
“I don’t mind her being born-again, but why did she have to come back as herself?”
When you become a Christian, the Spirit of God transforms your spirit,
The spirit of God changes us from one who is always critical to one who encourages others.
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1 Thessalonians 5:11 “Therefore encourage one another and build each other up”
If you are constantly spreading gloom and doom, you discourage others from coming to Christ.
you hurt your witness
you hurt your changes of sharing your faith with the unsaved.
Kurt Parker is a preacher in Memphis who tells about a time when their church was hosting a Christian concert the music was more upbeat and louder than usual.
He felt uncomfortable because he knew some of the older people didn’t like the music.
About half way through, the concert an older couple he deeply loved got up and left.
He felt terrible.
But then he learned that they went down to the nursery,
There they found a young couple working in the nursery.
They asked? “Do you like contemporary Christian music?”
and the young couple said, “Yes, we do.!
They older couple said, “We will work for you. You go upstairs and enjoy.”
Now, that is a special spirit of encouragement that makes for harmony in the body of Christ.
That is thinking more highly of others than yourself.
Judas did not care about others.
He cared more about himself than he did the poor.
He didn’t care about Mary
and, to be honest, at this point, he wasn’t caring about Jesus.
He cared about Judas.
He thought, when he saw that oil going down the drain, some of that could belong to him.
Since Jesus knew what was in the heart of man, he was able to understand what Judas’ problem was.
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Here is another lesson: Be Cautious: Pick Your Battles.
It interests me that sometimes Jesus answered His critics and sometimes Jesus just ignored them.
The Pharisees asked, “Where do you get the authority to do these things?”
And Jesus said, “Let me ask you a question. Where did John the Baptist get his authority?”
And they said, “We are not going to tell you.”
And Jesus said, “Then I am not going to answer you either.”
Or on trial, false witnesses accused Jesus of blasphemy.
The High Priest stood up and said to Jesus, “Are you not going to answer?”
The testimony these men are bringing against you?”
But, Jesus remained silent.
Sometimes He just did not give credibility to the criticism by responding to it.
He was aware of what was being said.
But he did not dignify their attack by trying to respond with and answer.
Remember, silence does not mean guilt.
Sometimes silence is a better response than actually speaking out.
Have you ever heard someone criticize something there were not even a part of?
They did not attend.
They did not participate.
They were not involved.
How can you criticize something you not part of?
The biggest critics are often the least involved in what they are criticizing.
Get involved.
Invest yourself in growing your church.
Give yourself to saving the lost
Get involved in helping the poor and the least of these
Work your hardest.
Give you best.
I would love to have been here when the church had 100 people in Sunday evening worship.
Do you know why they had so a great service?
Because they had great leaders.
There were at least a dozen strong leaders in that service.
Besides the church staff there was: David and Beth Castle, Larry Penix, Ed Moore, Brice Osborne, Joey Penix
There were five different preachers
There were over a half dozen different singers and musicians.
They had live music with a live praise band
and the list of leaders and people who were working here goes on on.
We want a spiritual service, whether it is Sunday night or Sunday morning.
But it takes strong leaders.
People who take ownership.
People who have a buy in.
People with a passion.
I invite this church to rise up and give God a dozen strong leaders.
People who will stand up and talk about the Lord.
People who will lead worship and speak out to others about faith.
People who will be missionaries for this church.
I never sang before in public except on rare occasions
Before I started singing in the 10:45 service.
Gina and I started leading the singing out of necessity.
Kim and Chuck, and Ken started helping.
Because there was nobody else to do it and we felt called by God to do what we can to serve Him.
But it takes a lot to come in and practice
and put together the music
put together the slides.
It really hurts my feelings when I hear people criticize what we do.
We don’t just throw it together.
There is prayerful planned order of the service.
We don’t do it to put on a show. We do it to serve God.
It takes wisdom and restraint and the Holy Spirit to answer the critics.
Sometimes if you ignore the criticism it grows bigger and bigger.
Because people just don’t know all the facts.
Sometimes we need to be reminded
+SLIDE+ Here is a fourth final lesson: Be kind when you answer the criticism.
Since Jesus knew what was in the heart of man,
He could have ripped Judas into shreds—couldn’t He?
He could have said, “Judas, you are a thief!
You gross hypocrite!
How dare you wound this woman who has pure motives, when your heart is not willing to do anything to help.
But, instead he was pretty gentle with Judas.
He said, “Judas, leave her alone. She did it preparing my body for the burial.”
When Jesus died, it was so close to the Sabbath; nobody had time to anoint His body,
so this woman, Mary, did it ahead of time.
“The poor you will always have with you, Judas, you won’t always have me.”
Can’t you just see Jesus still reaching out in love to Judas at this last minute?
When you are hurt by criticism and you need to respond,
answer the criticism gently with love
You go directly to the person and Provide them with facts.
(I will talk about this more next week Titled “Confronting the Phony.”
Never allow criticism to distort the big picture.
Jesus said, “She has prepared my body for the burial.”
His main purpose for coming to earth was to die on the cross for the forgiveness of our sins.
He loved us that much.
No amount of criticism was going to detour him from that mission.
He came to seek and save that which was lost.
One of the most difficult assignments for any leader is to keep the big picture in focus.
and not allow the critic to distract you.
Probably for every critic, there are a dozen encouragers.
For every disappointment, there are hundreds of victories.
It is so easy to focus on the one or two negative things and miss seeing the great things we have to celebrate.
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The Bible puts it like this: I Corinthians 15:58: “Always give yourself fully to the work of the Lord
because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain.”
I want to close with a song of invitation,
and if you want to humbly, courageously forgive and let go of yourself to Jesus Christ in a public way,
then walk forward.
I will meet you down front and we will pray about it together.
