What A Friend I Have
“This is my commandment, That you love one another, as I have loved you.” John 15:12
Intro: Jesus knows that his earthly life is coming to an end.
Soon he will go to Jerusalem and the crucifixion.
Jesus is giving his beloved disciples some instructions to abide in love.
To show the same kind of love that is shared between a loving Father and a loving Son.
What kind of love was that?
The Father’s love did not keep Jesus from suffering.
The Father’s love did not keep Jesus from feeling forsaken and alone.
The Father’s love did not keep Jesus from dying a shameful death on the cross.
Jesus says, “As the Father has loved me, so I have loved you.” John 15:9
If Jesus is going to allow me to suffer,
forsaken me
and leave me alone and let me die a shameful death…
With friends like that who needs enemies?
It is a good thing Jesus goes on with the next verses or we would never understand what he is talking about.
“13 Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.
14 You are my friends if you do what I command you.” John 15:13-14
Today I want to talk about “What A Friend I Have in Jesus…, And What A Friend I Have in You.
A pastor preached his a sermon from the text,
“Love one another.”
The people were pleased.
The next Sunday the pastor preached the exact same sermon from the exact same text,
“Love one another.”
The people were surprised.
When the pastor preached the same sermon the third week from the same text ,
The people were angry.
The Staff Parish Relations chairperson called the pastor with the obvious question,
“Why do you preach the same sermon every week?”
The pastor replied, “When the congregation learns to practice this one, I’ll write a new one.”
Love, love, love, love.
Let’s talk some more about this. It is really important.
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AS THE FATHER HAS LOVED ME, SO HAVE I LOVED YOU. ABIDE IN MY LOVE.
To abide is to remain, to linger, to tarry.
We learn to love one another because we first have been loved by God.
Love is an experience before it is an expression.
One reason we are such feeble lovers of others
is because we have yet to really grasp or experience the depth of God’s love for us.
If we are going to love one another,
the first thing we need to do is to abide in God’s love.
Abide in love.
How can we do that?
We get in touch with God’s love through WORSHIP.
If worship were a matter of music, we could attend a concert.
If worship were a matter of entertainment, we could go to a movie.
If worship were a matter of excitement, we could go to a ball game.
If worship were a matter of rest, we could stay home and sleep.
But, worship is a matter of meeting with God.
It is the place where God and people get together.
I am convinced that if I am going to be a faithful disciple,
I have to find ways and means to be consistent and persistent in my relationship with Jesus.
Relationships don’t grow through hit and miss…, on and off…, here and there.
Relationship grow through consistent and persistent interaction.
You cannot be a vital Christian if you do not find ways to be involved in worship.
Worship is the heartbeat of our friendship with God.
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FRIENDS DARE TO FORGIVE.
Yes, love does mean having to say you are sorry.
Yes, love does include your enemies.
No, love does not keep a record of wrongs.
No, love does not seek revenge.
Forgiveness is the oil that lubricates the human machine.
Without it, all of life becomes hot and screaky.
Friends forgive because forgiveness fits faulty people.
Jesus forgives us and so we forgive.
Forgiveness sets us free.
The person feeling free is the one doing the forgiving.
There is so much to the concept of friendship.
The actual definition is one a kin. Friendship means like family.
Of course if your family is like many others, there are family members you don’t have much in common with.
But there are some things that friends and family do represent that the bible tries to teach us about.
The book of Job tells the story of a good man, overwhelmed by troubles.
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“When Job’s three friends, Eliphaz the Temanite, Bildad the Shuhite and Zophar the Naamathite, heard about all the troubles that had come upon him, they set out from their homes and met together by agreement to go and sympathize with him and comfort him. 12 When they saw him from a distance, they could hardly recognize him; they began to weep aloud, and they tore their robes and sprinkled dust on their heads. 13 Then they sat on the ground with him for seven days and seven nights. No one said a word to him, because they saw how great his suffering was.” Job 2:11-13
Job had three friends,
we can learn a lot by looking at things you should never hear one friend say to another friend.
As we remember the events of Job’s life, Job lost his fortune, Job lost his family, and Job lost his health,
but Job did not lose his faith.
There is also the back story that Satan is testing Job to see if he will curse God.
And God is allowing this attack from Satan to take place.
What we do learn is Job never asked why those things were happening to him.
The closest he ever came was when he said, “Show me why You contend with me” Job 10:2.
Job was sharing his agony of spirit with the very God he could not understand.
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Hebrew Word: ???? Phonetic Spelling: (reeb)
Transliteration: rub
In other words, “Why do you rub me this way God?”
Suffering carries a message of mystery.
The Bible says, “Great is the mystery of godliness” 1 Timothy 3:16.
For humans, there is a mystery as to why God created the earth.
There is a mystery as to why He put people on this earth.
There is a mystery as to why God allows people to suffer.
The Jesus I want to know is a loving friend.
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A FRIEND COMES IN AS THE REST OF THE WORLD IS GOING OUT.
Isn’t that what friends are for?
One of my favorite poets is Robert Frost.
Of all his writings, my favorite is “Mending Wall.”
It’s the story of two New England farmers
who go out each spring to mend the rock fences that have fallen down over the winter.
They do it every spring, under the belief that “good fences make good neighbors.”
But this particular spring, one farmer is beginning to question that long held assumption.
As they work their respective sides of the fence,
wearing their fingers raw with the rocks, he begins to reason.
“He is all pine trees and I have an all apple orchard.
My apple trees will never get across and eat the cones under his pines.
Why is it that we need to build these fences back every spring?”
Then he says this:
Before I build a wall,
I should ask to know
What am I walling in or what am I walling out???
Friends come in when the rest of the world is going out.
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A FRIEND ASKS “HOW ARE YOU?”
THEN HANGS AROUND LONG ENOUGH TO HEAR THE ANSWER.
Do you know what I mean?
Hundreds of people ask ‘how are you?’
They’ll ask you that ten times a day, twenty times,
They’ll ask you at church and not many of us stay around long enough to hear the answer.
But a real friend will ask, ‘how are you doing?’
and then they will look you in the face and open their ears and want to hear the real answer of your life.
Can you imagine the pain Job felt or the grief Job experienced?
Job was going through the pain and grief of losing something important and dear to him over and over again.
13 Job’s sons and daughters were having a feast in the home of his oldest son,
14 when someone rushed up to Job and said,
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“While your servants were plowing with your oxen, and your donkeys were nearby eating grass,
15 a gang of Sabeans[a] attacked and stole the oxen and donkeys!
Your other servants were killed, and I was the only one who escaped to tell you.”
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16 That servant was still speaking, when a second one came running up and saying,
“God sent down a fire that killed your sheep and your servants. I am the only one who escaped to tell you.”
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17 Before that servant finished speaking, a third one raced up and said,
“Three gangs of Chaldeans[b] attacked and stole your camels!
All of your other servants were killed, and I am the only one who escaped to tell you.”
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18 That servant was still speaking, when a fourth one dashed up and said,
“Your children were having a feast and drinking wine at the home of your oldest son,
19 when suddenly a windstorm from the desert blew the house down, crushing all of your children.
I am the only one who escaped to tell you.”
One, two, three, four…
Four times Job received bad news.
One right after another.
Job Lost Everything
Some of you here know what it is like to hit rock bottom.
We do know we have trials and temptations.
Sometimes there seems to be trouble everywhere.
We, too, are all hurting someway somehow, are we not?
Sometimes we’ve felt that no one cares or understand s us.
We’ve looked for friends to love us and instead end up even more brokenhearted.
We’ve needed to be comforted and no one was there.
The cares of this world have left us lonely and empty.
Like Job we must seek for the Lord who can heal and help our wounded our souls.
Ralph Waldo Emerson said,
“A friend is a person with whom I may be sincere,
with whom I may think out loud without fear.”
Jesus said to his disciples in John 15:15
— I no longer call you a servant...instead I call you my friends.
Joseph Scriven watched in shock as the body of his fianc'ee was pulled from the frigid water of the lake.
Their wedding had been planned for the next day.
Reeling from the pain of the tragedy packed up his belongings
and he immigrated from Ireland to America to start a new life.
A few years later he received word that his mother was facing a crisis. He wrote her a poem.
Meanwhile Joseph fell in love again.
But tragedy struck a second time when his bride contracted tuberculosis
and she died before their wedding could take place.
To escape the heavy sorrow he poured himself in ministry and doing charity work.
Cutting fire wood for widows, giving away his clothes to the poor
Giving money to those in need.
It wasn’t until his own death drew near
that a friend happened to find a copy of the poem he had written to his mother
during a time of dark grief.
The friend composed music and it became the hymn
What a friend we have in Jesus,
All our sins and griefs to bear.
What a privilege to carry,
Everything to God in prayer.
Friends ask “How are you doing?” and then they stay around long enough for you to answer them.
And Jesus Christ is that kind of friend.
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A FRIEND KNOWS US THE BEST THAT LOVES US THE MOST.
A group of ELEMENTARY STUDENTS were asked “What is a good friend?”
Their number one answer was “Someone you can depend on.”
Barbara Walters asked singer ELTON JOHN his greatest fear.
Without hesitation the great musician replied
“That I will not be loved.”
ANOTHER MOVIE STAR was asked to define her greatest need.
She replied “My greatest need is to have someone know me, really know me, and not go away.”
After a rather unpleasant event in a Peanuts cartoon,
CHARLIE BROWN AND LUCY walk away sadly muttering, “I need all the friends I can get.”
Lucy says, So do I, Charlie Brown, so do I.
A loyal friend laughs at your jokes when they are not so funny
and sympathizes with your problems when they are not so bad.
Friends pick us up when we are down.
They hold us accountable when we run around.
Friends offer help.
Friends give us hope.
Friends come in when the world is going out.
They ask “How are you?” and wait for an answer.
They are the people who know us best and love us most.
Do you know Jesus Christ as a friend?
Do you feel empty today?
Could you use the friendship that only Christ can give?
The Jesus I want to know is a friend like that.
Job’s three friends come to comfort him.
But they don’t help him, instead their words only add to Job’s torment.
They say things you should never hear a friend say.
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THE WRONG WAY TO HELP A FRIEND WHO’S HURTING
Don’t make false assumptions about why someone is suffering
False assumptions can get you in trouble.
I heard about a carpet layer who was replacing some old carpet in a customer’s home.
When he finished tacking down the new carpet
he reached for a pack of cigarettes he kept in his shirt pocket, and they were not there.
About that time he noticed a lump in the middle of the carpet about the size of a pack of cigarettes.
He didn’t want to go to all the trouble of taking up the entire carpet,
so after looking around to see that he was alone
he took his hammer and beat the object flat to hide any evidence of his mistake.
When he got to his truck he found his pack of cigarettes on the seat.
As he lit up to smoke, he reached into his other pocket for his cell phone.
False assumptions lead to false conclusions, which lead to wrong actions.
We often assume that we know something about someone.
We think we know what they have done.
Or we think we understand what they are going through.
We think we know what is hurting them.
Sometimes we may even think they brought this trouble on themselves.
Job’s friend say to him…
Haven’t you done something wrong?
Didn’t you make a bad choice?
Is God punishing you?
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In the story of Job
Eliphaz one of Jobs closes friends said to Job:
“Is not your wickedness great?
Are not your sins endless?
You demanded security from your brothers for no reason;
you stripped men of their clothing, leaving them naked...
And you sent widows away empty-handed and broke the strength of the fatherless.
That is why snares are all around you, why sudden peril terrifies you,
why it is so dark you cannot see, and why a flood of water covers you.” (Job 22:5-6; 9-11)
There is no evidence Job did any of those things.
In fact, in Chapters 1 and 2 God says Job was a man who was blameless and upright,
and a man who shunned evil.
When you are trying to help a friend who is hurting, be careful you don’t jump to the wrong conclusions
And make the same mistake.
Jesus called the disciples his friends.
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IT IS NOT A PROMOTION TO BE CONSIDERED A FRIEND OF GOD.
Jesus showed his disciples what it meant to be a servant.
He took the basin and towel and washed their feet.
Do you get it!
It is not a promotion be a friend of Jesus.
The only way to have a friend is to be one.
Being a friend is, often very hard work.
Being a friend is taking a basin of water and a towel and washing your friends feet.
Many of us simply aren’t willing to do that work.
It’s easier to keep people at arm’s distance.
A real true friend will say, I love you, but what you are doing is wrong.
Friendship is also about accountability.
How many people in our lives do we allow to speak freely to us,
Not many, I would suspect.
Don’t be drawn into the flaws of people who will tell you anything goes.
Do what feels good.
They will falsely say there is no judgment.
Listen: Sin is still sin.
And judgment will come.
But God doesn’t always punish sin in this life.
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The Bible says in I Timothy 5:24 “The sins of some men are obvious,
reaching the place of judgment before them; the sins of others trail behind.” (NIV)
Friends, God doesn’t want to punish us.
God is love.
However God is also just and will not leave the guilty unpunished.
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Exodus 34:7 “He will by no means leave the guilty unpunished.”
But God is also a God of mercy.
He God did not have mercy he would not be loving.
And He id did not punish sin he would not be just.
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“For Christ also suffered once for sins, the just for the unjust, that He might bring us to God.” 1 Peter 3:18
Think about it.
The Judge himself has paid the penalty for your sins.
The Judge of our souls became the sacrifice for our sin upon the cross.
Isn’t that Good News?
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THE RIGHT WAY TO HELP A FRIEND WHO IS HURTING
We read in Job 2:11-13 that Job’s friends cried with Job.
They put on sackcloth and ashes and sat with him for seven days without saying anything.
They could have left and gone home and remained great friends.
The best thing you can do when a friend is hurting is just to be present
Just be there with your friends during their time of suffering.
You don’t have to have words of wisdom, just be there.
Sometimes the best thing you can to for hurting friend is to show up and hug them.
It is called the “Ministry of Presence.”
We serve through being, rather than advising.
A mark of a friend is they are better at listening that speaking.
A physician shared this letter that conveys the power of being with someone in their pain.
He wrote: “Today I visited an eight-year-old girl dying of cancer. She was in almost constant pain.
As I entered her room, I was overcome immediately by her suffering—so unjust, unfair, unreasonable.
Even more overpowering was the presence of her grandmother lying in bed beside her
with her huge arms embracing this precious, inhuman suffering.
I stood in awe, for I knew I was on holy ground.
I will never forget the great, gentle arms and body of this grandmother.
She never spoke while I was there.
She was holding and participating in suffering that she could not relieve,
and somehow her silent presence was relieving it. No words could express the magnitude of her love.”
A friend will be there with you.
Cry with them
The best thing Job’s friends did was to sit in the ashes with him and to weep along with Job.
The Bible says, “Rejoice with those who rejoice; weep with those who weep.” (Romans 12:15)
Tears communicate your compassion much more eloquently than words ever can.
Don’t ever tell a hurting friend to stop crying.
Instead, cry with them.
A friend will attend to their physical needs
It’s great that the people of this church provide a Funeral meal for a bereaved family.
Maybe you heard about the three kids in school who were explaining the symbols of their religions.
A Jewish boy showed the students a Star of David.
The Catholic boy showed them a crucifix.
The little Methodist boy showed them a casserole dish!
The Bible says in Proverbs 17:17, “There is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.”
When you have a friend who is suffering, stick with them and be sensitive to their physical needs.
Watch over them.
A person who is grieving or suffering
often is so burdened they forget the take care of the simplest physical needs.
They may forget to eat,
They don’t sleep,
They don’t take care of their hygiene needs.
I heard about a man who performed a ministry to every family in the church that experienced a death.
He would take his shoeshine kit into the home and polish the shoes of the family members
who would be attending the funeral.
If you want to help a friend in need, attend to their physical needs.
We have all been let down by fake friends.
We have all ran into fake people.
When I was in high school I had all kinds of friends
as long as I had gas in the car and could drive them around.
What I soon learned was…, when the gas in the car ran out so did most of the friends.
A friend is someone who will help you when you’re right
and has the courage to let you know when you are wrong.
I want us to think in terms of what does the Word of God teach us about the true definition of friend.
We need to make sure that they realize that not everyone is your friend.
Not everyone wants to be your friend.
Friends are the ones that want what’s good for one another.
Anyone that does not want good for you is not a friend.
Anyone that gets you into trouble instead of helping you to stay out of trouble is not a friend.
Anyone that keeps you from doing what’s right is not a friend.
Friends are few and far between.
Most of the people whom we come in contact with are better described as acquaintances; contacts;
rather than friends.
Acquaintances smile and talk a good game;
contacts pretend to be your friend;
but when the significant, critical times come,
when the down and out times lift their heads,
acquaintances are rarely ever anywhere to be seen.
Real friends, true friends are a very rare feature.
True friends make every effort to be there for each other in times of need and strife.
In good times and in bad times friends will be there.
They love and help each other during the happy times
as well as the downhearted and heart-breaking times.
They are there when you have and when you don’t have.
They look beyond the superficial and see the quality of the heart and the pure goodness of the soul.
In general we all have only a few people that we can truly call friends.
People that we can depend on no matter what the situation may be.
People who are willing to give up self to help out someone else.
Brothers and sisters, I come to tell you today that Jesus is that type of friend!
In the past ten years or so the word friend has been used so casually that it has taken on new meanings.
Since the inception of Facebook we have been bombarded with “Friend Requests.”
A person recently said to me they had reached the 5000 friends limit on Facebook.
The meaning of friend has changed and become lost.
The friendship that Jesus is talking about is much different.
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In fact a friend will say I love you but you are wrong.
Because they are your true friend you will be able to hear them.
My brothers and sisters by far the greatest friend one can have is the Lord Jesus Christ!
God's word tells us, "A man that hath friends must show himself friendly:
and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother."
You see, if you want to have friends, you must take the lead by showing yourself to be friendly with others.
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Closing: Let us remember “What a friend we have in Jesus”!
And What a Friend we have in each other.
Let us not take our friends for granted!
Most of all let us thank God for being our friend!
Two thousand years ago God sent His Son, not to condemn the world,
but that through Him the world might be saved!
God so loved us that he gave His only begotten Son! The Son so loved us that He gave His life!
But brothers and sisters, I need you to understand that the story did not stop there,
because early on that third day morning, Jesus rose with all power in His hands!
He got up showing His nail-scarred hands!
He got up because He said He would!
Brothers and sisters the story is not complete unless we know that He got up for you and for me!
Jesus is a true friend!
Why don’t you try the best friend of all?
