SCRIPTURAL REFERENCES
(Matthew 18:7) “Woe to the world because of offenses! For offenses must come, but woe to that man by whom the offense comes.”
(Matthew 11:6) “And blessed is he, whosoever shall not be offended in me.”
(Proverbs 19:11) “The discretion of a man deferreth his anger; and it is his glory to pass over a transgression.”
(Colossians 3:12-13) [12] “Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering; [13] Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye.”
PROLOGUE
When the Lord impressed upon my heart the profound message, "Do Not Be Offended," I reflected deeply on the story of the prophet Balaam. Despite his prophetic gifts, he is a compelling figure who allowed greed to cloud his judgment and lead him astray.
In my mind's eye, I could vividly picture the Angel of the Lord standing resolutely in Balaam's path, a divine encounter that challenged his intentions. What struck me even more was the unique and powerful moment when God allowed Balaam's mule to speak back to him.
This was not a mere spectacle; it highlighted the extraordinary situation that arose when his stubbornness prevented him from seeing the truth right before him. Mules, known for their obstinate nature and stubbornness, are a striking metaphor in this message.
It's remarkable, and indeed somewhat disturbing, when the very creature often viewed as unyielding and stubborn can see and possess an insight that the human prophet lacks. This incident serves as a poignant reminder that sometimes, those we consider lesser can reveal profound truths we might overlook, urging us to listen and forbear before reacting.
"TRANSFORMING THE OFFENSE INTO UNDERSTANDING."
The "spirit of offense" is described as a negative influence, particularly in the New Testament, that makes people easily upset, resentful, and bitter. This spirit can cause division and disruption in relationships and communities, often stemming from a lack of humility, forgiveness, and love.
We are currently experiencing a period in which a small minority of individuals are actively trying to impose their lifestyle choices on the broader population. This group has gained significant influence over government institutions through financial contributions and strategic lobbying efforts.
Today, we are witnessing the enactment of laws that contradict traditional Christian values, particularly those regarding the sanctity of family life. This trend raises important questions about the balance between unhealthy lifestyles and the preservation of cherished moral principles that many hold dear.
Jesus addressed the inevitability of offenses, stating, "Woe to the world because of offenses! For offenses must come, but woe to that man by whom the offense comes!" This highlights the importance of both avoiding causing offense and not being easily offended.
Letting go of offense is an essential step toward embracing genuine forgiveness. This process begins with being completely honest with God about the offense we have experienced, recognizing that nothing is concealed from Him.
The Bible warns us that offense can serve as "enticement and entrapment," which the enemy uses to ensnare us in cycles of pain and resentment. Handing our offenses over to God is crucial; it allows us to release our burdens and find healing. Through this act of surrender, we can cultivate a spirit of grace and ultimately experience true freedom.
Forgiveness can be seen not just as an act toward another person but as a gift we give ourselves, a means of freeing our hearts and minds from the weight of unresolved pain. It is a vital step in the healing journey, releasing the deep-seated pain that people may harbor inside. When we choose to forgive, we let go of resentment and anger, recognizing that we no longer have to navigate this emotional struggle in isolation.
The relationship between offense and forgiveness is significant; when we forgive, we effectively cancel the debt we feel the other person owes us for the hurt they have inflicted. By breaking this cycle of resentment, we create space for healing, understanding, and, ultimately, personal growth.
When we take offense, it is because someone has hurt us or frightened us. God has given us two ways to deal with offense. First, we can remember that the other person also has things that hurt and upset them.
As followers of Christ, we have a deep-seated responsibility in our relationship with Him. When we love the offender and concentrate on their needs, our perception of the offense diminishes. This shift in focus enables us to understand the underlying reasons for their actions, fostering empathy instead of resentment.
In summary, let me say, “Balaam, you better get off that mule.” The mule symbolizes your stubbornness and pride. We can begin getting off the mule by acknowledging the hurt and its impact on our lives. By doing this, we are doing what the Bible refers to as forbearing, which means we take our hands off it and give God time to work on both ends. We can unshackle ourselves from its grip when we handle the offense this way.
"DEALING WITH CHURCH HURTS."
When addressing an offense caused by another believer, it is crucial to follow the biblical process outlined in Matthew 18:15-17. This process emphasizes the importance of handling conflicts with care, respect, and a spirit of reconciliation.
First, you should approach the individual privately and directly to discuss the offense in a calm and respectful manner, aiming to resolve the issue between you. If this private conversation does not lead to resolution, the next step is to involve one or two witnesses, not to escalate the conflict but to provide support and objectivity to the discussion. This step helps ensure that the dialogue remains constructive and that both parties feel heard.
If the matter remains unresolved, it may then be necessary to bring the issue before the broader community or church leadership as a final step to seek resolution. Throughout this process, maintaining a heart of love and a desire for reconciliation is essential. This reflects the principles of forgiveness and grace that are central to the Christian faith. By following these steps, we honor both our relationships and the teachings of Scripture.
Begin by approaching the person in private. This initial conversation is crucial, as many offenses can stem from simple misunderstandings or miscommunication. Discussing your feelings directly can help clarify the situation and provide an opportunity for reconciliation. It's essential to keep the discussion between the two of you at first to avoid gossip or the possibility of further damaging relationships within the church.
Suppose the person does not respond positively or remains unresponsive. In that case, it is important to consider involving one or two trusted persons as witnesses to encourage the person to reflect on their actions more deeply. The intention here is not to escalate tensions but to foster understanding and promote healing within the relationship.
If the initial steps taken do not lead to meaningful change, and the individual persists in engaging in hurtful behavior, it may become essential to establish clear and firm boundaries. These boundaries should be rooted in biblical principles that emphasize accountability, forgiveness, and the restoration of relationships.
It's important to communicate these boundaries openly and compassionately, outlining the specific behaviors that are unacceptable and the consequences that will follow if they are not respected. By doing so, you create a framework that not only protects your well-being but also offers the possibility for genuine reconciliation in the future, should the person demonstrate a willingness to change.
"THREE KEY INSIGHTS INTO THE CONCEPT OF OFFENSE."
1. Understanding Offense in Context: Offense can often vary significantly depending on the context and dynamics at play. Recognizing the circumstances that amplify or mitigate feelings of offense is crucial for effective communication and interaction.
2. The Psychological Impact of Offense: The effects of feeling offended can be deep-seated, influencing not only individual behavior but also group dynamics. Understanding the psychological ramifications can help us navigate sensitive situations with empathy and awareness.
3. Constructive Responses to Offense: Instead of reacting defensively when faced with offensive remarks or actions, adopting a constructive approach can foster dialogue and understanding. Analyzing the intent behind the offense and responding thoughtfully can lead to more meaningful connections and conflict resolution.
In summary, let me say that in a world where different views collide, it is essential to explore the nature of offense and its impact on our interactions. By facing our own sensitivities and understanding the perspectives of others, we can learn to navigate difficult conversations and foster more respectful and productive dialogues.
MY CONCLUSION
The biblical story of Balaam and the talking donkey serves as a striking reminder of how being easily offended by unexpected events or unusual means of communication can reflect deeper issues such as spiritual blindness, self-centeredness, or impaired judgment.
In the story, Balaam is so focused on his own desires and ambitions that he fails to recognize the divine intervention happening around him. Seeing the Angel of the Lord blocking their path, the mule becomes a crucial messenger, yet Balaam's inability to perceive this leads to a conflict with the creature he rides.
This encounter illustrates how self-absorption can blind us to essential truths and divine guidance. When we react negatively to surprising situations or messages from unlikely sources, we risk missing out on vital insights and protective interventions intended for our benefit.
Life can be challenging, and we may face difficult times that can cause us to feel upset with others or ourselves. It's natural to experience trials and persecutions that cause us to doubt our faith and question our walk with God. But it's important to remember that these challenges are not meant to defeat us but strengthen us.
Through my own experiences, I've learned that we grow in faith and character during these moments of struggle. Even in the darkest moments of our lives, we should never give up because God is always with us. Finding comfort in the scriptures and remembering that God loves us unconditionally is essential.
In summary, choosing not to be offended aligns with the heart of the Gospel, which calls us to extend grace as we have received grace. In doing so, we honor God and cultivate healthier relationships with those around us. Let us strive to embody this principle daily, remembering that true strength lies in our ability to forgive and overlook offenses.
International Evangelist
Jerry W. Hulse, Ph.D.
Miracle Life Church International
