Mother’s Day 2025 – A Mother’s Bond
Scripture: John 2:1-11; Second Timothy 1:5
Good morning Strangers Rest and happy Mother’s Day to all the mothers here and those viewing this live streamed service. There will be little that I will say in this message that will be new to you, but I hope you will leave here today knowing this truth: the bond between a mother and her child is different than that of a father and child. This is true on an emotional and physical level. I will share more about this shortly, but I want you to consider something. How many songs have been written about mothers versus songs that have been written about fathers? Let me bring it closer to home. How many gospel songs have been written about mothers compared to those written about fathers?
Let me list a few you might be familiar with: “Mama’s Amazing Grace.” That song is special to me because I learned it as a child as one the old deacons of the Church would sing it upon request, especially on Mother’s day. If you are not familiar with that song, look it up. It opens with, “I was young, but I recall, singing songs was mother's joy, as the shadows gathered at the close of day. And I'd sit upon her knee, in those days that used to be, as she sang of God's amazing grace.” Then there are the songs of mothers praying for their children. Songs like, “My Mother’s Prayer” and “My Mama Prayed for Me.” There are also songs that speak to how special mothers are like “Mothers are Special” by the Chicago Mass Choir. There are many songs, gospel, and secular, which are either focused on mothers or mentions them in a loving, cherished and kind way. This is not necessarily so with fathers.
There are a few Christian songs about fathers, but they do not necessarily fall into the traditional gospel realm. When most gospel songs mention fathers, they are referring to God the Father. And this is interesting; when secular songs mention fathers most reference fathers who are not the best example of fatherhood like “Papa Was a Rollin’ Stone” by the Temptations. There is one great exception to this, and it was the last song Luther Vandross recorded titled “Dance With My Father Again.” My point with this is simple; mothers are viewed with different lenses than fathers. Mothers are often spoken of affectionately while fathers might not be – I am speaking in general terms. The reason for this is the bond that mothers have with their children.
Turn with me to chapter two of the book of John and we will begin reading at verse one. It says, “(1) On the third day there was a wedding in Cana of Galilee, and the mother of Jesus was there. (2) Now both Jesus and His disciples were invited to the wedding. (3) And when they ran out of wine, the mother of Jesus said to Him, ‘They have no wine.’ (4) Jesus said to her, ‘Woman, what does your concern have to do with Me? My hour has not yet come.’” (John 2:1-4) This story is often referenced during wedding ceremonies and the book of John is the only book that records it, and I am so blessed that John recorded it because it also gives us insight into Jesus’ relationship with His mother.
In this story, Mary had been invited to a wedding along with Jesus and His disciples. During the wedding feast, the wine ran out, which was a failure of hospitality on the part of the bridegroom and an insult to the invited guests. It was a great social embarrassment because the family had an obligation to provide a feast that represented their social standing. Also, there was no vast variety of beverages as we have today. The people normally drank only water or wine. Mary came to Jesus and told Him the problem. Jesus looked at His mother and asked her “…Woman what does your concern have to do with Me?” Before I continue, I want you to understand that when Jesus said “Woman,” He was not being demeaning to His mother but courteous and respectful in His interaction with her. Now, Jesus told His mother that the wine running out was not His concern. He also told her that His time had not come yet. There are several interpretations of what this meant, but suffice it to say that until this moment, all everyone knew of Jesus was that He had just begun His teaching ministry. He had yet to perform any healings or miracles when Mary, His mother, came to Him so there was no history from which she could base her request.
Here is what I want you to consider: Jesus had recently begun His ministry, but He had not done any miracles at this point. The Bible says that this was His first miracle. John 2:11 records, “This beginning of signs Jesus did in Cana of Galilee, and manifested His glory; and His disciples believed in Him.” Each of the four gospels portrays Jesus from a unique perspective. The Gospel of John portrays Him as the Son of God that has come to touch the lives of those who didn’t know God as a Father. I find it interesting that Jesus’ first recorded miracle was at a wedding feast, a marriage and not in a synagogue or in a crowd of people, but at a wedding. I believe this is another glimpse into God’s heart and how He values marriage. Now, if this were His first miracle, how did His mother know that He could do it? Why did she come to Jesus when, by all accounts, He was just “another” teacher? How did she know that He could do something about this situation when He had not done anything like this before? She knew because He was her son. She knew Him as she had a bond with Him unlike that of any other. He was her Son. I will explain more of this story later but first let me share some facts with you about a mother’s bond with her child and how it is different from that of the father’s.
Several years ago, I was having a conversation with a friend, and I asked him what he was getting for his wife for Mother’s Day. My friend told me that his wife was not his mother, so he was getting her nothing. So, I repeated my question, and he said again that his wife was not his mother. When I realized that he was serious, I asked him how long he had been married and the age of his oldest child. He stated that they had been married almost thirty years, and his oldest child was twenty-five. I asked him if he was telling me that in twenty-five years he had never acknowledged his wife on Mother’s Day and he said no; but that he helped his kids provide gifts for her. I shook my head and then I explained to him my perspective (cause I know that is what he really wanted to hear.)
I asked him was his wife the mother of his children and he answered in the affirmative that she was. I asked him if she was a good mother, taking care of things while he traveled for work. Again, he answered in the affirmative that she was and that she managed things when he traveled. I summarized his answer by saying that he had made his wife a mother; that she was a mother because of him; that she was a good mother to “his” kids; and yet through all of this, she did not warrant recognition from him on Mother’s Day! He looked in my eyes and knew that I was serious; that this was something that I personally found offensive. He told me that he never thought about it that way and that he would go out and get something for her.
I will not lie to you and tell you that I was not offended because I was. Yes, I know it was none of my business, but I was and always will be a momma’s boy even though my mother has been gone for 39 years. All mothers are special and should be acknowledged by their children and the one who helped them become a mother if they are married. I say that because there are many mothers who just had a sperm donor and that’s a topic for another day. In case some of you men (and young men) sitting her today have the same feeling as my friend; it is not too late to change. But I shared this with you today because it speaks of the bond that exists between a mother and child which again is quite different from that which exists between a father and child. Let me share a few facts with you.
As it relates to fetus development, when a woman becomes pregnant, the fetus forms quickly within her body. One researcher stated that if the fetus grew at the same rate throughout the pregnancy as it does in the first few weeks, the fetus would be born weighing approximately 1200 pounds. Within the first 30 days the fetus’ heart, arms and hands are visible. After nine months (on average) the baby is fully developed and ready to be born. When the baby is born there are sensitivities that the baby already has based on his or her interaction with the mother’s body. For example, while the baby is in the mother’s womb, the baby is entirely dependent on the mother’s body. The oxygen, nutrients, and genetic materials that the baby requires are all transferred from the mother to the baby during those months while the baby is in the womb. But there are other things that are transferred to the baby also. Although the mother and baby do not share the same blood supply directly, what the mother ingests does find its way into the baby’s body.
One study showed that a mother’s diet directly sensitizes the baby to those smells and flavors and physically changes the brain directly, impacting what the infant will eat and drink in the future. If your child hates broccoli it could be because you ate it while pregnant and the baby did not like the side effects that it gave you. Likewise, if you ate chocolate and it made you feel good chances are great your baby will have the same sensitivity. When a pregnant mother says she is eating for two, she really is, just not in the way the statement is intended. Drugs and alcohol also have a direct impact on the developing baby and can have long-term negative implications.
What I have shared with you so far are examples of the physical bond between a mother and her baby that has a long-term impact on the baby. There are also non-physical bonds that are shared between the mother and her baby. For example, the baby knows when the mother is stressed. The baby knows when the mother is happy. What the mother experiences while the baby is in the womb, the baby has an awareness of it in ways that we might never understand. Also, of interest is that while the baby is in the mother’s womb, the baby hears the mother’s heartbeat. I believe the baby will know that heartbeat even though we might not be able to tell the difference. Consider this, when a baby is fussy and wants its mother, that baby while lying on its mother’s chest hears a familiar sound, the mother’s heartbeat. There is a genetic difference between the heartbeats of a man and that of a woman. Man’s heartbeat is normally slower. There is a reason that a baby can be calmed by its mother holding it close to her chest versus its father. While lying against the mother’s chest, the baby hears a familiar sound and experiences a sense of peace that was instilled within them during those nine months in the womb.
These bonds are bonds that fathers do not have because they began while the baby was in the womb with one exception – voice recognition. When Nikki was pregnant with our first daughter I was, at the time, in charge of the OBGYM clinic at my military hospital so I knew a few things about fetus development. One of the things I knew what that if I talked to my daughter while she was still in the womb she would recognize my voice upon birth. You see, while a fetus can hear sounds from outside the body, the father’s voice is particularly noticeable due to its lower pitch. By the third trimester, the baby can distinguish different voices and sounds, including the father’s. So, most evenings I would spend a few minutes talking to my daughter, something that I great recommend to any father to be. But back to the mother, while she is carrying that fetus, a link is established that takes a whole lot of stress to break. Even in the worse of cases where the mother is not the best mother, the signs of the link remain. Those links are not based on how good the mother is; but on the baby being formed, nourished, and sensitized while in the mother’s womb. But once the baby is born, the mother strengthens that bond in her normal interactions with the child.
Have you ever wondered why there are statements that reference a mother’s relationship to the baby but not the father’s? These statements and how we live them out re-enforce the knowledge that a mother’s bond is different. Consider these examples of things we say which also prove the mother’s bond is stronger than a father’s:
• “A face only a mother could love.” Why not the father? Is the father so shallow that he cannot love and appreciate his baby when others think the baby is not attractive? Is the father so caught up in himself that he cannot see himself in his child? You will never hear the statement “the baby has a face only a father could love” because no matter how you frame it up, that mother will claim her child. She will look at that baby and it will be the prettiest baby in the world and is already planning the photo shoot. There is a difference between mothers and fathers and it’s natural.
• “Mommy’s baby, daddy’s maybe.” Today this is not always the case as we have surrogates who are willing to carry a baby to term for a couple. But when this statement is made it is made in such a way that it can be very offensive. When a woman delivers a baby there is no doubt that the baby is hers because there are witnesses that the baby came from her body. Since the man is not the one who carried the baby, he can claim doubt until DNA proves the point. This physical bond can be so strong that even some surrogates struggle with giving up the baby after carrying the baby to full term.
• “Not my job!” Mothers never use these three words when it comes to their children. There are plenty of fathers that use these three words often, but not a mother. Mothers will gladly, even when tired, change the baby’s diapers, get up for the midnight feedings, stay awake when the baby is sick, and attend all school functions regardless of when they are scheduled. Fathers, I am not bashing you but just giving some examples on this Mother’s day of areas we can improve on.
These are just three examples of comments that are often made that signify that there is a special relationship and bond between a mother and her child that most fathers cannot understand nor will ever achieve. Mothers are known for making sacrifices for their children. They have gone hungry so that their child could have food. They have been willing to die that their child might live. They have experienced pains unlike those of a father even though both might be dealing with the exact same situation. The bond between a mother and her child is different from the bond between a father and his child. So, let’s return to the wedding at Cana in John chapter two.
When the host ran out of wine at the wedding feast, Mary comes to Jesus and tells Him about the situation. When Jesus asked Mary what the situation has to do with Him, as His time had not yet come, it appears in the story that she ignored Him. We do not know what was said, but let’s assume that it played out exactly as Scripture recorded it. Let’s continue reading at verse five.
“(5) His mother said to the servants, ‘Whatever He says to you, do it.’ (6) Now there were set there six waterpots of stone, according to the manner of purification of the Jews, containing twenty or thirty gallons apiece. (7) Jesus said to them, ‘Fill the waterpots with water.’ And they filled them up to the brim. (8) And He said to them, ‘Draw some out now, and take it to the master of the feast.’ And they took it. (9) When the master of the feast had tasted the water that was made wine, and did not know where it came from (but the servants who had drawn the water knew), the master of the feast called the bridegroom. (10) And he said to him, ‘Every man at the beginning sets out the good wine, and when the guests have well drunk, then the inferior. You have kept the good wine until now!’” (John 2:5-10)
Mary totally ignores Jesus’ question to her. She did not respond to Him at all. She told Him what the situation was and without saying another word let Him know she expected Him to fix it. Imagine her telling Jesus about the situation and Him asking her, “What does this have to do with me?” Imagine her giving Him that “mother look” and then turning from Him and telling the servants to do whatever Jesus tells them to do. Imagine her giving Jesus one more look and then leaving the room. Can you see Jesus seeing that look on His mother’s face and doing exactly what she wanted Him to do which was fix the problem? Mary did not tell Jesus how to fix the problem, she just let Him know that she expected Him to fix the problem and fix it now. Jesus received the message loud and clear and not only did He make good wine, but He also made the best wine of the feast. He did it because He loved and respected His mother and because of the bond that existed between them.
I want to close this message with something that Paul told Timothy in Second Timothy 1:5, and I will be reading from the Amplified Bible, “I remember your sincere and unqualified faith [the surrendering of your entire self to God in Christ with confident trust in His power, wisdom and goodness, a faith] which first lived in [the heart of] your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice, and I am confident that it is in you as well.” Timothy was a young pastor who was going through some demanding situations in his congregation. When Paul wrote to him the second time, he reminded Timothy of the faith that was in him that had also existed in his grandmother and his mother. Paul reminded Timothy of the faith that had been passed down to him – not through his father or grandfather, but through his mother and grandmother. And one thing we need to keep in mind is that during this time it was very much a male-controlled society and for Paul to credit Timothy’s faith to his mother and grandmother was something special.
Mothers have a special bond with their children and because of that bond they play a vital role in their children’s access to Christ. Who generally makes sure that the children are in Church? The mother. Who generally spends time on their knees praying for their children? The mother. Who generally can be found in Church supporting the activities of the Church? The mother. Who generally can be found teaching their children about the Lord? The mother. Whether this is because society places pressure on men with what is the perceived duties of the mother is for others to argue, but I believe it is because of an anointing that God has placed on godly mothers. Faith is a vital part of our life force and what we witness with our parents will directly impact how we walk in faith. Yes, there are exceptions to every general rule, and we have some exceptions here where the men work side by side with their wives, but generally our ability to have faith in God often comes through our mothers because of what we see our mothers doing.
My father told me a story many years ago that I have not forgotten. In our household there were five children, and my father was a blue-collar worker who sometimes experienced joblessness because of company layoffs. I remember him working three and sometimes four jobs just to make sure that we had the basic of necessities. Because money was always tight, my father did not always tithe. He gave what he could when he could, but it was sparingly at best. My father told me that my mother convinced him to tithe and to believe that if he gave to God first and trusted Him, everything else would be taken care of. Out of his love for my mother, he began to tithe. It was not because of what the Pastor, other Church leaders, Sunday school or Bible study teachers said to him, it was because of my mother. He had witnessed the faith of my mother and believed her. He told me that after he started tithing and placing his faith in God, God always provided for “us.” Notice I said “us” his children and not just “him.” God is about family. My father honored God because he believed what my mother said about God taking care of things when we put Him first. When God proved Himself to my father, my father never stopped tithing and giving more than his tithes to the Church. Even on his death bed he wanted to ensure that his tithes got to Church. I share this with you because it was not the Church leaders that brought this change about in my father, it was his wife, my mother.
I want to speak to the men and young men. Even though we cannot have the same bond with our children that a mother has, it means we have to work that much harder to establish one. It will not be given to us; we must earn it. But in the meantime, if you are married and your wife has given you children, show her how much you appreciate her being the mother of your children. Your children exist because of her and you need to appreciate her for it. For the mothers, if you do not hear it anywhere else today, I thank you. I thank you for the time you have invested in your children. I thank you for the sleepless nights when you had to stay awake because no one else could. I thank you for the labor of love that you have so unselfishly given throughout the years. Thank you for being a mother. May God continue to bless and keep you.
Until next time, “The Lord bless you and keep you. May the Lord make His face shine on you and be gracious to you. May the Lord lift up His countenance on you and give you peace.” (Numbers 6:24-26)
