AVOIDING DOMESTIC VIOLENCE
By Rev. Samuel Arimoro
Text: Ephesians 5:28-29
“So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church.”
Supporting Text: Colossians 3:19 “Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.”
INTRODUCTION:
Domestic violence is a grievous evil that destroys homes, injures hearts, and defiles the will of God for families. It comes in many forms—physical abuse, emotional manipulation, verbal attacks, sexual assault, and financial control. God’s design for marriage is based on love, respect, and peace. The home should be a place of comfort and security, not fear and conflict.
No one has the right to abuse another, especially not within the sacred covenant of marriage. As Christians, we must learn to avoid, condemn, and rise above every form of domestic violence.
1. WHAT IS DOMESTIC VIOLENCE?
Domestic violence is a pattern of abusive behaviour in a relationship that is used by one partner to gain or maintain power and control over another intimate partner or family member. It can happen to anyone regardless of age, gender, or background.
Forms of Domestic Violence include:
Physical abuse – Hitting, slapping, punching, kicking, OR to physically harming someone.
Emotional abuse – Insults, constant criticism, manipulation, or threats to undermine a person's self-worth.
Sexual abuse – Any unwanted sexual activity, including rape or being forced into sexual acts.
Economic abuse – Controlling finances, withholding money, or preventing someone from working.
Psychological abuse – Intimidation, threats of harm, or isolating a person from friends and family.
2. UNDERSTAND THAT LOVE IS A DIVINE COMMAND
Love is not a suggestion; it is a command from God. True love does not hurt or abuse. When a man loves his wife, and when a wife honours her husband, peace reigns.
Illustration: In 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, love is described as patient, kind, not easily provoked, and not violent. A violent home is a loveless home.
3. RESPECT EACH OTHER’S DIFFERENCES
Conflict often arises when couples try to force uniformity instead of embracing unity in diversity. Respect allows room for healthy dialogue and peaceful resolution of differences.
Illustration: In Genesis 2:18, God created Eve as a help meet, not a punching bag. Her difference complemented Adam’s need.
4. LEARN TO COMMUNICATE WITHOUT AGGRESSION
Poor communication is a major trigger of domestic violence. Raising your voice, using abusive words, or giving silent treatment are forms of emotional harm.
Illustration: Proverbs 15:1 says, “A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.” Jesus, even when falsely accused, remained calm and composed.
5. DEAL WITH ANGER BEFORE IT DESTROYS YOU
Uncontrolled anger is a time bomb. The Bible warns against letting the sun go down on your wrath. When anger rules the heart, violence becomes inevitable.
Illustration: Cain killed Abel out of unchecked anger (Genesis 4:5-8). The result was tragedy and a curse.
6. INVITE GOD INTO YOUR FAMILY DAILY
Homes that worship together experience more peace. When Christ is at the centre of the marriage, there will be patience, forgiveness, and kindness.
Illustration: Joshua declared, “As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord” (Joshua 24:15). A home that honours God will reject violence.
CONCLUSION:
Domestic violence is a sin. It is not just a crime against man but also a rebellion against God’s order for the home. No excuse—anger, stress, or provocation—justifies abuse. Love is stronger than violence, and forgiveness is more powerful than revenge. Let us build homes of peace, not war.
ALTAR CALL:
If you are struggling with anger or bitterness, or if your home is filled with strife, come to Jesus. He alone can heal broken hearts and restore peace.
Say: “Lord Jesus, I surrender my life and my heart to You. Forgive me for my sins. Heal my soul and my home. Come into my life and be my Saviour and Prince of Peace. Amen.”
PRAYER POINTS:
1. Father, thank You for designing the home to be a place of peace.
2. Lord, deliver every family from the spirit of violence and strife.
3. Father, fill our hearts with genuine love and understanding.
4. Lord, give me grace to communicate peacefully and patiently.
5. Father, let Your presence rule in my home every day.
