Introduction:
A. One day a rabbi and a priest got into a head on collision with each other.
1. The damage to both cars was considerable, but amazingly neither of the clerics was hurt.
2. After they crawl out of their cars, the rabbi saw the priest’s collar and said, “I see that you’re a priest, guess what? I’m a rabbi. The fact that we aren’t hurt shows that God was looking out for us and must have meant that we should meet and become friends.”
3. The priest replied, “I agree with you completely. This must be a sign from God.”
4. The rabbi continued, “And there’s another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune.”
5. So, the rabbi handed the bottle to the priest who agreed and took a few big swigs and then handed the bottle back to the rabbi.
6. The rabbi took the bottle and immediately put the cap back on it.
7. The priest asked, “Aren't you going to have a drink of the wine like I did?”
8. The rabbi replied, “No...I think I'll wait to have a drink until after the police arrive.”
9. I guess they weren’t quite friends just yet!
B. Let me start by asking you a few questions: Where do you go when you have a problem?
1. To whom do you turn to when you need help or advice on some important issue in your life?
2. Are you more likely to turn to someone you know or to a stranger?
C. Let’s ask a question from a different angle: How do you feel when a stranger comes to your door or calls you on the telephone and tries to talk with you about political issues, insurance, replacement windows or religion? You probably don’t appreciate it or want to talk with them. Right?
1. How much attention do you pay to all the junk mail or junk email that you receive every day in your mailbox or inbox? You probably throw it away or delete it as quickly as you can. Right?
D. Now please don’t misunderstand me: I’m not going to deny the fact that God sometimes uses impersonal or “cold” techniques to touch people with the truth.
1. Things like: street preaching, door knocking, direct mail, bumper stickers will always have some effect with a few people.
2. But I believe in our day and age, people are becoming more and more immune to impersonal approaches to evangelism, unless those people are searching on their own, perhaps on websites and Youtube videos.
E. The fact is that all of us experience discomfort when someone outside our circle of friends tries to influence us about personal or significant matters.
1. We all naturally gravitate toward people we already know and trust.
2. Friends listen to friends. Friends confide in friends. Friends allow friends to influence them.
3. Therefore, if we’re going to impact our world for Christ, then one of the most effective approaches will be through our relationships.
F. Back in sermon #3 from this series we talked about the formula for impacting our world and that formula included high potency and close proximity.
1. We have been talking about our potency as we have discussed authenticity, compassion and sacrifice – which are all related to high potency.
2. Today, I want us to address the need for close proximity.
3. The most powerful salt in the world has no impact if it is left in the salt shaker.
4. The most authentic, compassionate and sacrificial Christians on the planet will not influence anyone unless and until they have contact with them.
5. So, in today’s lesson we will explore the building of relationships with those we hope to reach.
6. We don’t have to look very far in our Bibles before we find examples of this helpful approach to reaching people for the Lord.
I. Biblical Evidence
A. Let’s start with the example of Jesus.
1. The picture on the screen depicts that moment in Scripture when Jesus spoke with Zacchaeus the tax collector who had climbed the tree to see Jesus – Jesus invited Himself to Zacchaeus’ house.
2. It’s amazing that we often overlook the fact that Jesus spent the majority of his time with those outside of the religious establishment.
3. Time and distance tend to soften history and the sinners that Jesus hung around with can seem more safe and sanitized than the ones that we might encounter today.
4. But such was not the case; for example, the tax collectors Jesus associated with really did extort large amounts of money from the downtrodden people around them, and the prostitutes He expressed compassion for actually engaged in illicit sexual activity as an occupation.
5. But Jesus intentionally rubbed shoulders with the lowest of spiritual people of His day because they mattered to God and He wanted to lead them into the family of God.
6. When we let that truth sink in, it’s natural to recoil a bit and say, “How could Jesus do that? He was the sinless Son of God, didn’t he understand how corrupt they were?”
7. Of course, he knew how corrupt they were - He knew how lost they really were and that’s why He tried to reach out to them – that’s why He spent time with them and developed a relationship with them.
B. Another role model for us is the Apostle Paul.
1. He said in 1 Corinthians 9:22-23, “I have become all things to all men so that by all possible means I might save some. I do all this for the sake of the gospel, that I may share in its blessings.”
2. Paul cared enough to stretch himself in order to make contact with people and influence them toward Christ.
3. Paul put forth great effort to build bridges between himself and unbelievers and we must do the same.
1. Let’s consider also the example of Matthew recorded in Luke chapter 5 starting at verse 27.
2. You’ve got to give Matthew a lot of credit.
3. Matthew had become a Christian after having been a tax collector, which, in those days, was about one notch above being part of the mob - if you were a tax collector, you essentially had a license to extort people.
4. But Matthew’s encounter with Jesus had changed his life, and as a result, he had an immediate concern for his friends.
a. His natural desire was to help his friends find what he had found.
5. The real question for him was: How?
a. He hadn’t been through an evangelism seminar.
b. He hadn’t graduated from seminary.
c. He didn’t have any tracts or other religious materials to distribute.
6. He didn’t think he could get them to go to church with him, so he decided to bring the church to them.
a. Knowing that his buddies loved parties, he threw a big party and invited Jesus as the guest of honor.
7. On the night of the event, we really don’t know what took place nor how many of the guests were impacted and came to have faith in Jesus.
8. The only details the Bible tells us about that night is that the Pharisees got upset about this method of evangelism and pulled Jesus and his disciples aside to criticize them.
9. They said, “Why do you eat and drink with tax collectors and sinners?” (Lk. 5:30)
10. Can you imagine how Matthew must have felt?
a. I’m sure he began to wonder if he had done the wrong thing.
b. This was his first evangelistic effort and now Jesus was getting chewed out by the religious brass.
11. But just when Matthew may have wanted to run and hide, Jesus spoke up and defended their actions.
a. Jesus said, “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance.” (Lk. 5:31)
C. I believe that God wants us to be doing what Jesus and Paul and Matthew did.
1. God wants us to be innovative and think creatively about how we can reach our friends.
2. Within the parameters of biblical principles, God wants us to come up with a strategy that is true to who we are and to who are friends are.
II. Getting Started
A. So, how do we begin? Where do we start?
1. First, we need to stop and identify the people we already know with whom we have developed a measure of trust and rapport.
2. Second, as we have already said in several of the lessons, we need to carve out some time to invest in these relationships.
3. And finally, we need to plan some gatherings, both formal and informal, to provide opportunities to spend time together with people.
B. The list of things we can do to have further contact with unbelieving friends is endless.
1. We can throw a “Matthew Party” that brings together some of our Christian friends and non-Christian friends.
2. We can share a meal – maybe have a barbecue.
3. We can use the holidays as an excuse to invite people to get with us – invite them to a dinner for Thanksgiving , Christmas, New Years, or 4th of July.
4. We can invite them over to watch a ball game together.
5. We can invite them to do an activity together - go shopping together, go for a walk, go bowling, go fishing, or play a round of golf together.
6. We can focus on building friendships with parents at our children’s school or sports activities.
7. We can frequent the same public places like: gas stations, banks, and restaurants – and we can try to build connections with people there.
8. As I said, the possibilities are endless – so, be creative and follow God’s leads.
C. As we wrap up this lesson, I would like to address a few stumbling blocks to this approach to evangelism that many people have to work to overcome.
III. Overcoming Obstacles
A. First of all, there may be a resistance on our part because of some biblical questions.
1. Some of us may have been taught that we are not to be friends of the world, or that we should come out from them and be separate.
2. Certainly this is true in some respects - we are not to be friends with the world, meaning participating in the sin and evil of the world.
3. As James 1:27 puts it, we need to keep ourselves “from being polluted by the world.”
4. But Jesus prayed in John 17, “My prayer is not that you take them out of the world but that you protect them from the evil one…As you sent me into the world, I have sent them into the world.” (Jn. 17:15, 18)
5. In 1 Corinthians 5, Paul clarified this issue, “I have written you in my letter not to associate with sexually immoral people – not at all meaning the people of this world who are immoral, or the greedy and swindlers, or idolaters. In that case you would have to leave this world. But now I am writing to you that you must not associate with anyone who calls himself a brother but is sexually immoral or greedy, an idolater or a slanderer, a drunkard or a swindler.” (1 Cor. 5:9-11)
6. In 2 Corinthians 6:17, when Paul said not to “be yoked with unbelievers,” he was warning us to avoid formal alliances with unbelievers - he was not talking about everyday friendships where we are trying to be salt and light.
7. So, yes, we are to be “in the world” rubbing shoulders with unbelieving people, but we are not to be “of the world,” becoming like them by taking on or participating in any of their evil ways.
B. Another concern we might have about developing relationships with irreligious people is the spiritual danger that it might pose to us personally.
1. In 1 Cor. 15:33 Paul wrote, “Bad company corrupts good character.”
2. This can certainly be the case.
3. If we are not strong in our beliefs and in our Christian behaviors, then we can be the one who is negatively influenced rather than being the one who is positively influencing others.
4. That’s why we must guard ourselves and make certain that we are the one whose influence is prevailing.
5. But if we sense that we’re being negatively influenced, then it’s time to back away at least for a while until we are stronger, or until we can bring someone else who is stronger to ensure that positive things are the result.
C. One final obstacle for us has to do with the personal discomfort we will have to face.
1. When we take ourselves into close proximity with those in the world, it can be uncomfortable.
a. Their language can make us uncomfortable.
b. Their humor might be off-color and offensive.
c. Their values and activities may leave us wondering if the spiritual gap is just too wide to bridge.
2. For many years, I played pickup basketball with a group of guys for exercise, fun, and to build relationships with people outside our church.
a. I have to admit that sometimes I felt like a fish out of water.
b. Many of the guys were…let’s say, “rough around the edges.”
c. Sometimes tempers got heated and the language turned foul.
3. And sometimes, I was teased about my faith.
a. My nickname was “Preach.”
b. Someone might say: “Glad Preach is on our team, that means the Big Man Upstairs will be on our side.”
c. One day we were playing and right in the middle of the game one of the guys said “Look at Preach’s shirt,” and everyone stopped and looked – the sweat pattern made a perfect looking cross - and the guy said, “He even sweats religion.”
4. But anytime I felt uncomfortable I reminded myself: “I am here to build bridges. I am here to establish trust. I am here to lay the groundwork for opportunities that may come down the road.”
5. The kinds and levels of discomfort that we will encounter in building relationships with unbelievers will vary, but I believe that God will help us face them and I believe God will honor and use our efforts in the process.
Conclusion:
A. Let’s remember: We can’t be contagious Christians without getting close enough to other people for them to catch what we have got.
1. Later on in the sermon series, we will be talking about ways to effectively communicate the content of our faith, but it’s important to realize that the ability to communicate doesn’t do any good if we have no one to communicate with.
B. As I said earlier: Friends listen to friends. So become one.
1. Be a friend to as many people as possible.
2. The exciting things about building relationships with unbelievers include having the joy of seeing some of them come to faith and seeing our own faith deepen and our reliance on God grow as the discipleship adventure becomes more and more fulfilling!
C. Next week, Lord willing, we will step out of this sermon series and focus on the resurrection of Jesus.
1. But when we return to this series, we will talk about finding an outreach approach that fits.
2. I don’t want to leave the impression that friendship evangelism is the only way to evangelize.
3. I do believe that is it one of the most effective approaches to reaching unbelievers, but it is not the only approach.
4. So, when we return to this series in a few weeks, we will explore some other approaches to outreach.
D. For today, however, I want to encourage us to make a decision to invest more in relationships with unbelievers.
1. We can cultivate some new relationships or we can invest further in existing relationships.
2. If you are a Christian today, then it’s likely that someone in your life encouraged you to become a follower of Jesus – give thanks for that person and follow their example.
3. If you aren’t yet a follower of Jesus, then I want to encourage you to become one.
a. There is no one better than Jesus to follow and to learn from.
b. There is no one other than Jesus who can save you from your sin and give you eternal life.
c. Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life and the only one who can unite us with our heavenly Father (Jn. 14:6).
Resources:
• Becoming a Contagious Christian, Bill Hybels
