“Guarding Against Gossip”
Proverbs 11:13 NLT
13 A gossip goes around telling secrets, but those who are trustworthy can keep a confidence.
Introduction:
So, here we are—today we are talking about one of the biggest dangers facing the church today!
It’s something we don’t always recognize right away.
It’s subtle. It creeps in. And before you know it—it’s wreaking havoc in relationships, in families, and even in the church.
It’s gossip.
Now, let’s be honest. I do not believe that most people wake up in the morning and say:
“You know what? I think I’ll ruin someone’s reputation today.”
“You know what? I think I’ll destroy some relationships today.”
I do not believe anyone intentionally sets out to destroy relationships or sow division.
But that’s exactly what gossip does.
But here is something that is true: Those who need to be right are most prone to gossip, slander, and offense...so check your heart!
Words are powerful!: Did you know the average person opens their mouth approximately 700 times a day?
If you remember we speak around 10,000 to 20,000 words every single day.
Think about that—10,000 opportunities to build up… or 10,000 opportunities to tear down.
Proverbs 18:21 says, "Death and life are in the power of the tongue."
Now, I want you to notice something: It doesn’t just say that bad words have power.
It says all words have power.
Every single word we speak carries weight.
Listen to me—this is not a small issue. Loose lips don’t just sink ships…
They sink friendships.
They wreck marriages.
They split churches.
There’s a story of a woman who came to her pastor, weeping over the gossip she had spread. She said, “Pastor, I don’t know how to fix this. What can I do?”
He handed her a pillow and said, “Cut it open and let the feathers fly.” She did. Then he said, “Now, go pick up every single feather.”
She looked at him and said, “That’s impossible!”
And he said, “So is undoing the damage of gossip.”
Do you see how serious this is?
Gossip isn’t just talk. It’s destructive.
It’s a trust killer.
It’s a relationship breaker.
It’s a church divider.
And let me say this loud and clear—there is NO ROOM for gossip in the Kingdom of God!
When you gossip, you’re not just speaking against a person—you’re speaking against God’s work in that person’s life.
This isn’t just a bad habit. It’s a spiritual attack against unity.
It’s a wrecking ball aimed at relationships.
A silent killer of trust.
So today, I want us to understand three things about gossip:
1. Gossip Divides and Destroys
2. Gossip is Satan’s Trojan Horse
3. We have to Guard Against Gossip
So let me challenge you today:
Are your words building bridges… or burning them?
Are you using your 10,000 words a day to bring life… or to spread poison?
Because every single word matters.
1. Gossip Divides and Destroys
1. There is a high cost for loose talk!
Proverbs 11:13 NLT
13 A gossip goes around telling secrets, but those who are trustworthy can keep a confidence.
a. Gossip isn’t just some harmless slip of the tongue.
i. It’s a weapon the enemy uses to destroy what God is trying to build up.
ii. It's not just about what you say—it's about what it does.
iii. Gossip is not harmless—it plants seeds that produce destruction.
iv. The power of the tongue is incredible, and when it is used for gossip, it can wreak havoc in ways we can't even imagine.
b. We never see all the effects that gossip has, and how it can even continue to hurt generations after us.
i. We might think it’s just words… just a quick conversation… just a little bit of venting.
ii. But what we don’t realize is that gossip can continue to hurt people long after the conversation is over.
iii. It can damage a reputation permanently.
1. It can destroy trust for years to come.
2. And listen—it can even affect generations after us.
iv. Think about this:
1. How many families have been torn apart because of words spoken in anger?
2. How many churches have been split because of whispers and rumors?
3. How many people have walked away from relationships, ministries, and even their faith—not because of some major crisis, but because of words that someone said?
c. And here’s what’s scary:
i. The person who started the gossip often never sees the full extent of the damage.
ii. They don’t see the child who grows up resenting the church because of division they never understood.
iii. They don’t see the couple who struggles with trust in their marriage because of words someone spread about them.
iv. They don’t see the person who gives up on their calling because of a false accusation that never got corrected.
d. This is why James 3:6 says:
“The tongue is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one’s life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.”
e. Gossip doesn’t just burn the person you’re talking about. It spreads.
f. And here’s the truth: We don’t always get to see how far the fire spreads.
g. That’s why we have to take this seriously.
h. We have to be the kind of people who stop the fire instead of spreading it.
i. Proverbs 20:19 says
Proverbs 20:19 NASB95
19 He who goes about as a slanderer reveals secrets, Therefore do not associate with a gossip.
i. This verse shows that gossip always leads to slander.
i. Gossip and slander are lovers and they produce death, loss, and destruction.
ii. Once words of gossip are spoken, they can never be retrieved.
j. Gossip is simply speaking about someone in ways that violate the trust of another individual.
i. It could be sharing things that are destructive and hurtful.
ii. It could be things that tears them down instead of builds them up.
1. Let me just say something about that: If you have not dealt with animosity in your heart towards someone, you will attract misinformation about the person you are bitter toward.
2. You become a magnet for evil gossip and every evil work… and its in YOUR heart that it needs dealt with!
3. You will always see people through the lens you create… if its looking through hurt eyes...you will always be hurt...but if its looking through the eyes of grace… you will quickly have forgiveness for them!
k. It’s not just about sharing negative things; even positive things can become gossip if shared with the wrong motive or to the wrong person.
l. Even when what you’re sharing is true, if it’s not yours to share, it’s gossip.
i. And the enemy loves to use our words to break down what God is building.
ii. We need to shut the door on gossip before it enters.
iii. Gossip isn’t just “venting”— it’s poison.
iv. It spreads fast, infecting hearts, relationships, and entire communities.
v. It breeds distrust, damages reputations, and destroys unity.
vi. And worst of all, it goes against the heart of God.
m. Have you ever had someone lean in and whisper, “Now don’t tell anyone, but…” and suddenly, your ears perk up and you lean in because you are curious?
n. Let’s be real—everyone of us has been there.
o. Gossip grabs our attention because:
i. The enemy knows how to make it sound juicy.
ii. He knows how to make us feel special, like we’re “in the know.”
p. But let me tell you something: gossip is poison wrapped in curiosity.
q. It's like a candy-coated lie—it’s sweet on the outside but devastating when you take a bite.
Proverbs 18:8 NIV 2011
8 The words of a gossip are like choice morsels; they go down to the inmost parts.
a. This is saying that gossip is hard to resist!
b. Think about our eating habits.
i. Do you know what one of my weaknesses is… dark chocolate chips… occasionally Bridgette will buy a bag… but she always hides them from me… because she knows, once I open the bag… the end is in sight.
ii. I can’t seem to stop eating them… I keep coming back to the cabinet, just another tiny, small handful… then a scoop of peanut butter on a spoon and a cup of milk and I am set… for at least an hours… then slowly I will go creeping back in.
iii. How about when t is late at night, you’re watching TV, and suddenly, you’re reaching for a bag of chips… or your ice cream.
iv. We love our junk food!
v. However, it isn’t goods for us....because one little bite leads to another, and before you know it, you’ve consumed way more than you intended.
vi. And you are sitting there with crumbs all over your shirt
c. But just like junk food, gossip is addictive.
i. Once you have a little taste, you crave it, you keep coming back for more and more and more.
ii. Many who entertain gossip do so because they have developed the wrong appetite!
d. And here is the kicker…most of the time your snacking is not because you’re hungry—it’s because you’re bored!
e. The same thing happens in our spiritual lives.
i. When we’re idle, when we’re disengaged from God’s work, we get bored and start snacking on other people’s drama.
f. Gossip becomes the distraction we crave.
i. It can be driven by pride—wanting others to think we have “inside information”.
ii. Or sometimes, it comes from anger—craving revenge through character assassination.
iii. Other times, it’s just because we don’t know when to stop talking.
1. Some of us don’t have a gossip problem—we have a talking problem.
2. We just say too much, too often, to too many people.
3. Proverbs 10:19 “19 Too much talk leads to sin. Be sensible and keep your mouth shut.”
4. The real issue thought is self-control… wisdom knows when to stay silent!
5. Proverbs 17:27 “27 A truly wise person uses few words; a person with understanding is even-tempered.”
g. Regardless of how or why, gossip is destructive.
h. It spreads like wildfire—moving quickly from person to person, growing and twisting along the way.
i. What starts as a whisper is like a tiny little spark in a dry field—one careless slip of the tongue and everything is up in flames!
Proverbs 16:28 NLT
28 A troublemaker plants seeds of strife; gossip separates the best of friends.
a. How true this is!
i. Think about it: you’ve probably seen, or even experienced, how something as simple as a few careless words can create division between people.
ii. Maybe it’s a miscommunication, a rumor, or someone repeating something that wasn’t theirs to share.
iii. Before you know it, what was once a close friendship can start to unravel.
iv. It’s like tearing a piece of fabric—once it’s torn, it’s very hard to repair.
b. If the devil can’t destroy a church from the outside, he’ll do it from the inside. (Pause)
i. He loves it when believers start tearing each other down instead of building each other up.
ii. He loves it when emotions take over and division takes root.
iii. He loves it when people hold grudges instead of extending grace, when whispers in the hallway outweigh the Word of God in the sanctuary.
iv. He loves it when gossip spreads faster than the Gospel.
c. His strategy is simple: if he can’t get believers to leave the church, he’ll divide them from the inside.
d. He knows that a divided church is a defeated church.
2. Gossip is one of the enemy’s most effective weapons.
a. The devil loves gossip because it does his work for him: stealing, killing, and destroying.
John 10:10 ESV
10 The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.
a. Satan doesn’t need an army to destroy a church—just a few loose lips!
i. A single whispered word can do what an outright attack often cannot.
b. A war on the outside can strengthen the church… but he knows a war on the inside can tear it apart.
i. All the enemy needs is a few unchecked conversations, a little bit of speculation, and a few whispered criticisms.
ii. And before you know it, a spark turns into a dumpster fire—burning through friendships and poisoning the atmosphere of a church.
c. Gossip is verbal vandalism.
i. We often don’t recognize the damage we cause with our words.
2. Gossip is Satan’s Trojan Horse
1. Gossip is nothing more than dressed-up destruction!
a. It wears a mask, pretending to be something it’s not, but in reality, it’s a tool of the enemy to break down what God has built.
b. Now, here’s the thing—gossip rarely sounds like gossip.
c. The enemy doesn’t come at you with horns and a pitchfork.
d. He’s subtle… and he’s crafty.
e. He doesn’t just show up and say, "Hey, I want to ruin your relationships today!"
i. No, he's far too clever for that.
ii. The enemy uses the subtlety of gossip to plant division in our hearts.
iii. He knows that if he can get us to say the right thing in the wrong way, or share information that we shouldn’t… he can sow seeds of discord without us even realizing it.
iv. What starts as a "well-intentioned" conversation quickly turn into something much more dangerous, all because we didn’t recognize it for what it was.
f. Let me ask you: Have you ever been in a conversation that started with, “Hey, I don’t mean to gossip, but…”?
i. Or maybe the conversation sounded like, “I just think you should know this so you can pray better”
g. It sounds innocent, doesn’t it.
h. But we have to be careful, because what seems like a harmless conversation can turn into something much more damaging if we do not recognize it for what it is!
i. It’s always wrapped up in a way that makes it feel like you’re doing the right thing.
i. Like you’re not gossiping, you’re just sharing information.
ii. But God’s Word tells us that there’s no such thing as “harmless” gossip.
iii. It’s always destructive, no matter how much we try to dress it up.
j. Gossip often dresses up as “concern,” but the truth is, it’s often just a Trojan Horse sent by the enemy to destroy us from the inside out.
2. The Trojan Horse of Gossip
a. Let’s take a moment to think about the story of the Trojan horse.
i. In Greek history, the Greeks couldn’t break through the walls of Troy, so they decided to give the Trojans a "gift"—an enormous wooden horse that appeared to be a trophy of victory.
ii. The Trojans, thinking the horse was a symbol of peace, invited it inside their city.
iii. That night, hidden Greek soldiers emerged from the horse and destroyed the city.
b. This is the same way gossip works.
c. On the outside, it looks harmless.
d. But on the inside, it’s filled with destruction.
i. It sneaks past our defenses, and before we know it, it has burned bridges, ruined reputations, and wounded hearts.
ii. It’s easy to be deceived.
iii. Because Gossip doesn’t announce itself.
e. Here’s something we need to remember: Not everything that sounds like a prayer request is really a prayer request.
f. I know we have all heard it, maybe you have even done it without realizing it.
i. "Hey, can you pray for so-and-so? I just wanted to let you know what’s going on so you can pray better."
ii. Before we know it, what started as a supposed prayer request becomes an opportunity to air someone else’s dirty laundry.
iii. Hey listen, did you here about so and so, yea there is trouble at home... I guess its been going on for a while, and he lost his job and it went downhill from their.… just keep them in your prayers!
iv. Hey pray for so and so… their kid got arrested...so sad… I think it was drugs and alcohol … well it isn’t no wonder after what their dad put them through...anyways...I just wanted you to know so you could pray better”
g. What happens all to often is that innocent “prayer request” turns into a gossip session.
h. nd before we know it, we’ve shared personal, hurtful details that shouldn’t have been shared.
i. But here’s a rule of thumb—If they didn’t ask you to share it, don’t turn it into a prayer request.
i. When we disguise slander as spirituality, we’re not building people up; we’re tearing them down.
ii. If prayer exposes instead of restores, it’s not prayer—it’s gossip with a spiritual filter.
j. The Bible is clear—prayer is meant to restore, not expose.
i. If we can’t pray for someone without gossiping, we need to check our hearts.
k. We need to be people of integrity.
l. If someone truly needs prayer, don’t share their business with others.
m. Instead of unloading all the juicy details, just simply say, “Please pray for so-and-so; God laid them on my heart.”
n. When you don’t know the details, you can still pray with power, because prayer doesn’t need a story to be effective—it just needs a heart that cares and believes God can move.
Matthew 6:6 NLT
6 But when you pray, go away by yourself, shut the door behind you, and pray to your Father in private. Then your Father, who sees everything, will reward you.
a. True intercessors don’t need an audience to pray; they just need a heart that’s in tune with the Father.
b. Gossip often disguises itself as entertainment.
i. It’s in those “harmless” jokes, the stories we share about someone else’s failures, or the juicy details we just have to tell someone.
ii. We hear the latest drama, and we can’t wait to share it with our friends.
iii. You all know this one, “Hey I just have to tell you what I have heard!”
iv. See, gossip thrives on curiosity— people love the scoop, the inside story.
v. How many times do we chuckle at someones worst moments?
vi. How often have we turned someone else’s struggles, failures, or mistakes into entertainment?
vii. It creates disunity, destroys reputations, and hurts others.
viii. And when we share someone else’s worst moments for the sake of entertainment, we are contributing to the enemy’s work, whether we realize it or not.
Proverbs 24:17 NIV 2011
17 Do not gloat when your enemy falls; when they stumble, do not let your heart rejoice,
i. Even if someone messed up, it’s not our place to celebrate their downfall.
c. Listen, not every story needs an audience!
i. If it doesn’t build up, purify, or honor, then it’s not worth our time.
d. The trap of gossip is, it pretends to be harmless.
i. What seems like a small thing, becomes a big problem.
Proverbs 18:7 NLT
7 The mouths of fools are their ruin; they trap themselves with their lips.
a. Gossip is like a trap—it may seem harmless at first, but once it’s out there, it catches people in its web.
i. What you call casual talk might feel safe within your circle of friends, but it doesn’t stay private for long.
ii. The truth is, gossip always has a way of spreading.
iii. Like a wildfire, it jumps from person to person, and before long, it’s wreaking havoc.
iv. There are no secrets—especially not in a community of people.
v. If you share something in private, it won’t stay private.
vi. That’s the nature of gossip—it’s contagious.…Proverbs 11:13
Proverbs 11:13 NLT
13 A gossip goes around telling secrets, but those who are trustworthy can keep a confidence.
i. There are no secrets in any workplace, any family, or any church…
1. how many times have you had the inside scoop and was sworn to secrecy… only to find that you just had to find someone to tell and then swore them to secrecy.
ii. Nothing stays hidden forever, especially when it’s damaging.
b. Here is something to remember: If they gossip to you, they’ll gossip about you.
c. Like the Trojan horse, gossip gets in because it looks appealing, but once inside, it corrupts hearts, destroys trust, and divides relationships.
d. You know, what is so interesting about the Trojan horse, had they recognized what it was… they could have simply never opened the door… and they would have saved themselves from destruction....it is that simple!!
e. If gossip is in your life, it’s time to close the door.
3. Set a Guard over Your Mouth
Psalm 141:3 ESV
3 Set a guard, O LORD, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips!
1. Don’t Let Gossip Use You
a. Imagine if every word you spoke had to go through security—like going through a TSA checkpoint at the airport.
b. Before a word gets out, it should be checked:
i. Is it true? (Or is it just something I heard?)
ii. Is it necessary? (Or am I just talking to talk?)
iii. Is it kind? (Or is it going to tear someone down?)
iv. Most gossip wouldn’t make it past the checkpoint!
Proverbs 13:3 NLT
3 Those who control their tongue will have a long life; opening your mouth can ruin everything.
a. So, we need to set a guard—not just once, but every single day.
b. It's essential to remember: Gossip doesn't thrive on its own.
c. It needs two things: a mouth to speak and an ear to listen.
d. If you refuse to give either… gossip has nowhere to go.
e. Here’s the truth—YOU have the power to stop it.
f. Every time gossip comes your way, you’re faced with a choice:
i. Will you participate, or will you shut it down?
ii. It’s that simple.
g. Gossip can't survive without a willing participant.
h. So, when it comes knocking, don't let it in.
i. The moment you engage, you've become part of the problem.
j. Gossip needs a platform— don’t give it one!
k. Gossip cannot exist without someone to pass it along.
Proverbs 26:20 NLT
20 Fire goes out without wood, and quarrels disappear when gossip stops.
a. Gossip, like fire, feeds on the fuel of participation.
i. If you stop providing the fuel—your attention, your agreement, or your silence—it has no power.
b. Silence in the face of gossip is not neutral—it’s approval.
c. What you permit, you promote.
d. When we listen without speaking up, we inadvertently give our approval to something that’s destructive.
e. Proverbs 6:16-19 teaches:
Proverbs 6:16–19 ESV
16 There are six things that the LORD hates, seven that are an abomination to him:
17 haughty eyes, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood,
18 a heart that devises wicked plans, feet that make haste to run to evil,
19 a false witness who breathes out lies, and one who sows discord among brothers.
a. God hates things that sow discord, and gossip is a primary offender.
b. It’s a weapon the enemy uses to divide and destroy.
c. In Romans 16:17, Paul warns us to watch out for those who cause divisions.
Romans 16:17 NLT
17 And now I make one more appeal, my dear brothers and sisters. Watch out for people who cause divisions and upset people’s faith by teaching things contrary to what you have been taught. Stay away from them.
a. When you stay silent in the face of gossip, you’re not protecting unity; you’re letting cancer spread.
b. But when you actively refuse to engage, you become a peacemaker.
i. Now, peacemaking is not passive. It takes courage. Integrity.
ii. It requires us to go against the flow and stand for what’s right, even when it’s uncomfortable.
c. But the rewards are worth it.
d. Jesus said, Matthew 5:9
Matthew 5:9 NLT
9 God blesses those who work for peace, for they will be called the children of God.
a. Peacemaking is a tough road to follow.
b. This means we must be people of integrity, willing to do what is right, even when it’s hard or costly.
c. As followers of Christ, we’re called to do more than avoid conflict—we're called to actively make peace.
d. The way we respond to gossip can either build up or tear down relationships.
e. You don’t have to entertain gossip.
f. Shut it down before it spreads.
g. If you hear someone gossiping, ask the hard questions:
i. "Would they be okay with you telling me this?"
ii. or "Why are you sharing this with me?"
iii. or “Let’s go talk to them together. Let’s clear this up.”
iv. You will find that will stop gossip in its tracks!
h. We need to hold ourselves and others to a higher standard.
i. If you've ever been a part of gossip, the right response is repentance.
i. If you've spoken words that have hurt others, go to them.
ii. As soon as the Holy Spirit convicts you, ask for forgiveness.
iii. Say, “I’m sorry for speaking about you behind your back.
iv. I shouldn’t have done that.”
j. And don’t just stop there—make it right with the person you spoke about.
k. It takes humility, but it’s the biblical way to restore relationships.
l. When we confront gossip with humility and honesty, we bring healing, not harm.
m. And the reason we take this stand is simple:
2. We are called to protect the unity of the body of Christ.
a. Psalm 133:1-3 tells us that unity is precious.
Psalm 133:1–3 ESV
1 Behold, how good and pleasant it is when brothers dwell in unity!
2 It is like the precious oil on the head, running down on the beard, on the beard of Aaron, running down on the collar of his robes!
3 It is like the dew of Hermon, which falls on the mountains of Zion! For there the LORD has commanded the blessing, life forevermore.
a. Unity is something we should strive for because it’s something God blesses!
i. It’s like oil that flows over Aaron, representing the anointing and presence of God.
ii. It’s like dew on the mountains, refreshing and life-giving.
iii. Unity brings blessings, but division brings destruction.
b. When we protect unity, we align ourselves with God's will, and He commands a blessing where there is harmony.
c. In 1 Thessalonians 5:11, we’re called to encourage one another and build each other up.
1 Thessalonians 5:11 NLT
So encourage each other and build each other up, just as you are already doing.
i. Let’s be known for the words we speak that lift others up, not tear them down.
a. Be a firefighter, not a fire starter!
i. Fire starters fan the flames, adding fuel by participating, by listening, or by spreading the rumor.
ii. But firefighters do the opposite—they rush to extinguish the fire, to prevent it from growing, and to protect everyone involved.
iii. Every time you refuse to engage with gossip, you stop the fire from spreading.
iv. You become the firefighter, not the fire starter.
b. Just imagine how much more we could accomplish if, as the body of Christ, we made a commitment today to be firefighters.
c. What role will you play?
d. Will you let gossip burn unchecked, or will you stand up and be a firefighter—shutting down the flames before they spread and doing your part to keep unity and peace within the body of Christ?
Conclusion:
As we close out this message today, I want us to understand something very clear—gossip is not just a harmless conversation;
it's a tool the enemy uses to cause division, hurt, and destruction in the body of Christ.
It’s a subtle but powerful weapon that the enemy loves to use to tear apart what God is building.
We cannot allow our words to be instruments of destruction.
We must recognize the incredible power our words have to either build up or tear down.
When we gossip, we’re participating in the enemy’s agenda—dividing, destroying, and eroding trust.
But when we speak life, truth, and encouragement, we’re partnering with God in His mission of unity, healing, and restoration.
Here’s the challenge for us today: What are your words doing? Are they building up the body of Christ?
Are they uniting or dividing?
Are they strengthening relationships, or are they unknowingly tearing them apart?
It’s time for us to make a choice.
It’s time for us to shut the door on gossip.
Let’s choose words that honor God, that strengthen our relationships, and that spread His love.
I want to ask you to take a moment and reflect: Are there areas in your life where you’ve been caught up in gossip?
Maybe you’ve said things that weren’t true or shared things you shouldn’t have.
Think about the relationships affected by those words.
What’s the motive behind the things you speak?
Are you speaking in alignment with God’s heart, or are you unintentionally causing harm?
Do you need tp repent or seek forgiveness?
Here’s the truth: we all have a choice in the words we speak.
We can choose to be builders or destroyers.
And I believe God is calling us today to rise up as a people whose words reflect His character.
Let our words be words that build, words that restore, and words that heal.
As we enter into this time of prayer, I want to invite you to come forward if you feel convicted or if there are relationships in your life that need healing because of gossip.
Maybe you need to ask God for forgiveness for words you’ve spoken.
Maybe you need strength to resist the temptation of gossip in the future.
God is here, and He’s ready to help you.
And for those of you who have been wounded by gossip, know this: God wants to bring healing and restoration.
He wants to heal those wounds and restore what’s been broken.
So, let’s come together today as a church family.
Let’s shut the door on gossip, ask for forgiveness where we need it, and commit ourselves to speaking life into every situation.
