WISE WOMAN
(Proverbs 31:10-31)
We may have lots of knowledge, great wealth, good looks and tons of experience,
but if we do not have wisdom, they?re all useless. Wisdom cannot be bought, because
wisdom is God?s gift. King Solomon was right, when he first became king, he didn?t ask
for wealth. He asked for wisdom. That?s why it?s not surprising when two young mothers
were fighting over a baby, Solomon could solve the problem easily.
Patience, just, fair, acceptable by others, obedient to God?s word are aspects of
wisdom. Now we try to look at Wisdom through a woman?s perspective. There are no
special reasons to do this, not only on Mother?s Day that we do this.
The second week of May is the time of Mother?s Day. Why do we celebrate
Mother?s Day? Many people misunderstand Christianity; they think we do not teach kids
to respect their parents. That is actually against the Bible. The Ten Commandments
teaches us to obey our parents, the 5th commandment says: “"Honor your father and your
mother, as the LORD your God commanded you, so that your days may be long and that
it may go well with you in the land that the LORD your God is giving you." This is the
evidence that we do teach people to respect their parents.
Indeed in reality not all people have become good mothers. But as the kid, we
cannot deny the fact that our mother is our mother. I try to look at things positively.
Starting from conception to nine months of pregnancy, a mother has struggled between
life and death, especially at labor. A mother?s sacrifice is so great and risky. A good
mother gives the best.
A good mother has wisdom. The question is what is that wisdom like?
1. A wise woman loves her family (10-12)
Gems are precious. Usually people do not owe precious things in great numbers,
unless they?re the sellers. Gems are precious because they are rare and unique. The
Hebrew word used here describes perfection, the best and also full of potential. That
means such mothers are diligent and creative. Such a mother is hard to find, like a gem
(compare this to Proverbs 8:11). A wise mother is not careless, she is responsible.
In this modern time, we hardly find a mother like this. In Indonesia we find many
young mothers who still act like teenagers after giving birth. They go shopping
everywhere, while their kids are left to baby sitters. There are even young mothers who
are afraid of losing their beauty that they refuse to milk their babies. It?s not surprising to
see babies crying in their mothers? arms because maybe they do not recognize their
mothers. Unfortunately not all baby sitters are nice. There was a baby-sitter who drugged
the baby so that the baby would sleep. This all happened because the young mother was
busy with herself, ignoring her baby.
Why do we say that wise mothers are precious? Proverbs 31:11 says that such
precious women can be trusted by their husband as money managers as well, never
leaving their husband feeling anxious about losing money. That way, such a life keeps
supporting, building, motivating and strengthening her husband. She will never burden
her husband. Life in this earth is hard as it is for a man to work, he does not need a wife
who cannot understand and support him. He can be very stressed out. That?s why in
Proverb 25:24, Solomon wrote: “It is better to dwell in the corner of the housetop, than
with a brawling woman and in a wide house.” (KJV).
Do you know the difference between the good and the bad mother, or true and
fake mother? Like I said, when anointed as king, Solomon did not pray for useless things
from God. He did not ask for wealth, but he asked for wisdom (I Kings 3:9, KJV)” Give
therefore thy servant an understanding heart to judge thy people, that I may discern
between good and bad: for who is able to judge this thy so great a people?” Sure enough,
since then Solomon had to face a very difficult problem which required God?s wisdom.
“Then came there two women, that were harlots, unto the king, and stood before him.
And the one woman said, O my lord, I and this woman dwell in one house; and I was
delivered of a child with her in the house. And it came to pass the third day after that I
was delivered, that this woman was delivered also: and we were together; there was no
stranger with us in the house, save we two in the house. And this woman's child died in
the night; because she overlaid it. And she arose at midnight, and took my son from
beside me, while thine handmaid slept, and laid it in her bosom, and laid her dead child
in my bosom. And when I rose in the morning to give my child suck, behold, it was dead:
but when I had considered it in the morning, behold, it was not my son, which I did bear.
And the other woman said, Nay; but the living is my son, and the dead is thy son. And this
said, No; but the dead is thy son, and the living is my son. Thus they spake before the
king. Then said the king, The one saith, This is my son that liveth, and thy son is the dead:
and the other saith, Nay; but thy son is the dead, and my son is the living. And the king
said, Bring me a sword. And they brought a sword before the king. And the king said,
Divide the living child in two, and give half to the one, and half to the other. Then spake
the woman whose the living child was unto the king, for her bowels yearned upon her
son, and she said, O my lord, give her the living child, and in no wise slay it. But the
other said, Let it be neither mine nor thine, but divide it. Then the king answered and
said, Give her the living child, and in no wise slay it: she is the mother thereof. And all
Israel heard of the judgment which the king had judged; and they feared the king: for
they saw that the wisdom of God was in him, to do judgment.” (I Kings 3:16-28, KJV).
Solomon could make the best decision, because he was wise. It is thus appropriate
for us to say that wisdom is more precious than gems. A wise person will be honored by
others, because that person must have first honored others.
2. A wise woman pays attention to her family?s needs (13 – onwards).
Unlike “most” women nowadays who spend their leisure time going to salons or
shopping around, wise women always spend their time wisely. Verse 13, “She selects
wool and flax and works with eager hands.” (NIV) means she will spend the time for
grocery shopping, sewing, and weaving. There are always tasks to be done.
Grocery shopping is a daily task, especially if one doesn?t have refrigerator. As a
wise woman, she will keep track of household needs. That?s why a woman is like a ship
that sails far away to bring back good to resell. Waking up early is a character of such
women; they wake up with sunrise and then prepare breakfast. Women not only worked
hard at home, but they also had business and made money. Apparently, profit out of
selling and buying lands was used to start a vineyard.
This is rather different than women today. I was told by a friend, that many
women only go shopping to malls, and boutiques to buy clothes. A boutique owner even
said that the clothes that they bought were actually not worn to parties or special
occasions. Those clothes were actually worn to visit that boutique shop again.
Indeed to become a good and wise mother is not easy, because she has to become
a good role model for her children. Other than that, she also has to educate her children to
be good, responsible and obedient to the Lord. Today raising a child is quite difficult,
especially with the influence of technology like television, computer, internet and random
friendships. Drugs are no longer foreign to college students, not even to kids in middle
school. That?s why a good and wise mother must always look after her children, and
guide them in the right path. Once she missed out, then the tears of a lifetime won?t be
enough to bring the happiness back to her children.
Church history records a quite famous and successful mother in educating her
children. We will trace her background. Her name is Susanna Wesley. She is a
housewife. The fruits of her spiritual work are apparent. She prays for her children and
also for her husband.
Actually since young, Susan planned to not have too many kids like her mother
who had 25 children. But she actually gave birth to 19 kids and had 9 miscarriages. Even
though Susanna was diligent in raising her children, she was not perfect. One of her
daughters, Hetty, ignored her mother?s sayings, ran away with her boyfriend. Hetty?s
boyfriend left her after she got pregnant.
With quite many kids and financial difficulties, this big family had many
arguments. As a wife of a minister, she had experienced bitterness. But that did not break
her spirit to serve God. When her husband had to serve out of town, she used that chance
to gather people to have fellowship and learn the word of God. Every Sunday almost 200
people went to that fellowship. Besides raising her children, every night before they
sleep, Susanna always prays for them one by one before she sleeps.
That is the short story of a woman in the church history, who then gave birth to
famous figures in Christianity, including John Wesley and Charles Wesley. John is the
founder of the Methodist church while Charles is a Christian hymn musician who wrote
thousands of hymns, including those that we use till this very day.
Where are your kids now? Are they still obedient to God? Or do you not know
where your kids are now? Let?s get them back on track.
3. A wise woman is praised by many.
A wise woman harms neither herself nor others. Her hard work always yields profit.
Verse 17 “She hath girded her loins with strength, and hath strengthened her arm.” (KJV)
means that she does her job energetically. She is not a passive woman, but an active one.
The fruits of her work are also very good.
Honestly I am very amazed by such women. They are busy with work, yet they
still have time to make clothes. It?s not easy to make clothes, because that takes prudence
and patience. In addition, verse 20 says that they could still afford to help others. Such
women are not selfish. Neither do they prioritize their family alone. They actually help
others too, that?s why they are praised by others. Notice that the praises come not only
from her husband and her children, but also from the people around her.
A wise woman knows more than how to put on make-up, watch soap operas, go
to boutiques and salons. She knows better than to waste her husband?s money. For her the
most important thing is internal beauty. To have good looks, without fear of the Lord is
vain. Verse 30 says: “Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears
the LORD is to be praised.” (NIV). I am sure that we all want such praises.
Self-reflection:
1. What are the criteria of a good mother according to you? Has your mother
fulfilled your criteria? What are needed to fulfill the criteria?
2. We always expect our mother to live up to our expectations, but do we ever do
nice things for her? If not, what have stopped you from doing that? If you yourself
was a mother, would you have fulfilled the criteria that you set forth?
