As a pastor, it is my job to guard your souls from the evil one and sometimes from yourselves. The evil one, the devil, is crafty and knows each of us very well. So, to guard your souls I need to arm you with some of the tactics of the devil. To do this I will be role-playing, showing you what I would do to keep you from having faith and trust in God and His Son Jesus, if I were the devil.
Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might. Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age,
against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places. Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.
Ephesians 6:10-13
If I were the prince of darkness, I would want to engulf the whole world in darkness. I currently have a third of the world’s real estate and about four-fifths of its population. But I would not be satisfied until I have seized the real estate that has the most Christians, and that is the United States. So, I set about however necessary to take over the United States.
Another parable He put forth to them, saying: “The kingdom of heaven is like a mustard seed, which a man took and sowed in his field, which indeed is the least of all the seeds; but when it is grown it is greater than the herbs and becomes a tree, so that the birds of the air come and nest in its branches.”
Matthew 13:31-32
First, I would set out to subvert the churches. I would impress upon the pastors that they want to have quantity over quality. I would have them look at the number of attendees and cause them to alter their messages so as not to cause a drop in those numbers, and in most cases create new fictions to increase those numbers. I would whisper in their ears not to talk about sin, allowing people to be comfortable in their current situation. I would get them to avoid any touchy subject such as: homosexuality, adultery, sex outside of marriage, and any other issue that will make them uncomfortable.
If I were the devil, I would change the concept of what a biblical church is. I would no longer call it a church, but instead call it a class, and in that class, I would use the bible, but I would misquote it and treat it more like a science or medical book, relating most of it to the physical body. For example, I would turn the tabernacle into an anatomy lesson, equating its three parts: the Most Holy Place, the Holy Place, and the outer court with the head cavity, the chest cavity, and the abdominal cavity of the body, in so doing I turn you away for the holiness of God and start you looking at self, how you have grown in knowledge. In this class I would teach you that salvation does not come by repentance of sins and acceptance of Christ Jesus, no way no how; I would teach that salvation comes by knowing His proper name, not by knowing Him and having a relationship with Him and confessing that you are a sinner in need of a savior, but just by knowing His name…because He never died for you and rose again. To appeal to your vanity while in class, I would give you bogus doctor’s degrees, regardless of if you never graduated high school. This will cause you to believe that you have something that Christian folk do not, and there I have succeeded in causing you to be prideful.
So Jesus answered and said, “Assuredly, I say to you, there is no one who has left house or brothers or sisters or father or mother or wife or children or lands, for My sake and the gospel’s, who shall not receive a hundredfold now in this time—houses and brothers and sisters and mothers and children and lands,
with persecutions—and in the age to come, eternal life. But many who are first will be last, and the last first.”
Mark 10:29-31
But I would not stop there. I would make the pastors greedy and prideful, wanting the worship of the people and the money they will give, so I would get them to misuse and translate all that they can to relate to money. For example, I will get them to use Mark 10:29-31 and zoom in on the promise of a hundredfold return to the exclusion of everything else that it talks about and interpret it in financial terms. I would whisper to them, this is what this scripture means “if we give $1 for the work of the kingdom, you will receive $100 in return. That is God’s promise to Christians!” Then I would tell them to close with this “Every man who invests in the Gospel has the right to expect the staggering return of one hundredfold.” The scripture does not promise that, but hey, if they think it does then it is all the better for you, with more money in your offerings. I will get this prosperity message broadcast nationwide, and I will watch them fall away from God because His promises were not true. I will bring about disillusionment upon the people, and soon they will watch their pastor fall from grace. I’m funny that way, giving you the thing you most desire and then using it to hang you with.
Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it.
Proverbs 22:6
In any war there will be casualties, oh yes, this is a war between God and me, with you being the casualties, but I will not let you know that. The first thing you want to do is break down communication, so I will send my demons to remove prayer from the schools. I will allow other religions, who don’t truly speak to God have their way, but I will restrict any beliefs that follow Jesus. This way I can get the young to falsely identify with school authority over their parents. You see, when the children are home and the parents want to pray, the child will resist because the school has given them the right to and has given them the understanding that it is meaningless. Oh, and here is the greatest masterstroke of this plan…removing prayer will cause the young ones to not think about God all day because I removed Him from the start of their day.
Disrupting communication does not stop at the young, oh no…I need to get their teenagers busy with other things that will keep them from having a relationship with God. I will give them networked video games that will occupy their free time. I will get them so caught up in game play and learning how to play the game that they will never have time to talk with their parents about God. Again, here is the beauty of this plan…they will begin to hate their parents for trying to pull them away from their games. Oh, I just love this, because for most parents they will leave the child to themselves because they fear losing the love of their offspring more than the love of God.
All Scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, thoroughly equipped for every good work.
2 Timothy 3:16-17
If I were the devil, I would teach the young that the bible is a myth, something created by man so that they can have control over you. I would get people to teach them that the bible is a piece of literature that contains a bunch of books that have little to no connection to each other. My teachers will convince the young ones that the bible contains contradictions and concepts that don’t make sense. I have used the words of the bible to confuse and confound people, so I know that those that I bring to bear on the children will do an excellent job. They will teach about evolution and how everything just came into being all by itself. I will have them to believe that man created the concept of an All Mighty God. My teachers will teach them the concept of sexuality well before their little minds can grasp the subject matter. They will teach them that males can become females and vise-versa, this will work because we drilled into them that the bible is a myth, and so God did not create the heavens and the earth, and God did not create people as male and female. I will gather my teachers and fill them with false ideas about the bible, that it is full of errors and my teachers will teach it because they don’t want to have a loving God because they consider themselves to be gods.
Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much.
James 5:16
If I were the devil, I would attack your prayer life. The best thing, where it is possible, is to keep the people from the serious intention of praying altogether. When the person is an adult recently re-converted to Christianity, the thing I would do by encouraging him to remember, or to think he remembers, the parrot-like nature of his prayers in childhood, repeating the model prayer without depth or meaning. I will bog them down with meaningless things, ideas, and tasks that will keep them from trying to communicate with Jesus. In doing this I will get them to come up with something entirely spontaneous, self-motivated, informal, and unprepared so that they will have the feeling that they have prayed. I will do things that prevent them from getting down on bended knees, and in so doing will cause them to spit out repetitious words that have to purpose, the only purpose would be to convince them they have placed a powerful prayer to God.
Woe to those who call evil good, and good evil; Who put darkness for light, and light for darkness; Who put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter!
Isaiah 5:20
If I were the devil, I would work within the media and social networks to control how people think. I will get the media to help LGBTQ activists hijack the civil rights movement, in this they can leverage the social stigma associated with anything that is deemed bigotry. My media will create and highlight Christian stereotypes and will characterize them as being judgmental, too good, anti-homosexuals, crazy people, or intolerant of people with different values. With this negative portrayal in the media. I will bring about divisions between those who believe in God and the rest of the country. I will load them down with isms and phobic and weaponize them, so that anything they say can be turned into a racism, sexism, homophobic, transphobic, genderphobic, and any other word they choose to use. In doing this I will have the country calling evil good and good evil. With these new words I will cause the churches to be looked at with a microscope, seeing that they do not offend anyone who holds their ism or phobic dear. I will cause churches to stop preaching the bible and start to compromise for fear of the wrath of society.
If I were the devil, I would keep your thoughts in the past, thinking of the sins you have committed. Because I got you to believe the bible is a myth at a young age, you will feel that there is no hope for you and that you are doomed. I will make your past haunt you because I will kill the idea of forgiveness of sins
If I were the devil, I would rejoice in the fact that all these things I do will drag you to hell with me. I know my fate and I cannot change, so I will make this place miserable so that you will hate God and turn from Him. When that happens, I got you. Because if you will not worship me, I am going to do all that I can to keep you from worshipping Him.
If I were the devil, I would do all that I can to destroy you.
