SERVANT OF GOD WHO IS AWARE OF HIS PORTION & POSITION
By Rev. Saumiman Saud*
Talking about people who "Know Themselves" as opposed to those who "Don't Know Themselves" is closely related to a person's personality. Those who know themselves are like "rice stalks full of grain that bow down," while those who don't know themselves are like "empty barrels that make the most noise." Arrogance, feeling superior, thinking oneself smarter, richer, more beautiful or handsome are typical characteristics of people who don't know themselves. Such people forget that there's always someone better.
People who "know themselves" act carefully, always aware of their position and role. They understand when to act, when to speak, and when to remain silent. Their actions are wise, fair, and never harm others. They may not be liked by everyone, especially those who act dishonestly, but they don't care as long as what they do is right. People who know themselves can accept criticism and change if they are wrong. This article presents a Biblical figure from the New Testament who, according to the author, truly knew himself. Who is he?
He is one of Jesus' controversial disciples - the apostle Peter. Why do we call him that? Because Peter's behavior is widely and transparently revealed in the Bible. When we mention Peter, we surely know him well, and we've probably heard his life story many times. This time, we'll look at him from a slightly different perspective.
Remember, Peter wasn't a rich man's son, he wasn't highly educated, he was an ordinary person, imperfect. If we carefully examine the entire New Testament, the apostle Peter played a significant role in Jesus' ministry. He wasn't just a faithful disciple, but also a brave one. He often acted quickly and stood up for Jesus when He faced difficulties. Although Peter wasn't perfect, by God's grace he was entrusted with a great and perfect task.
Let's look in more detail at Peter's journey throughout his life until the end of his ministry. Peter's ups and downs in faith are transparently written in the Bible. Failure after failure never made Peter sink, but rather made him rise. To make Peter's life truly an inspiration for our lives today, there are three important points I invite us all to consider together, as Peter who "Knew Himself":
1. Peter realized who he was (John 21:3)
2. Peter regretted his actions (John 21:7)
3. Peter renewed his calling (Acts 2:41)
1. Peter realized who he was
Who was Peter really? Peter's original name was Simeon, in Greek people called him Simon, which means "listener." He was also called Cephas and more impressively "rock" (Petra), the latter name given directly by Jesus the Teacher. He was born in Bethsaida, the same hometown as Philip. Bethsaida was a town in the northern shore of the Sea of Galilee (John 1:44, John 12:21).
After marriage, he often lived in Capernaum, specifically at his mother-in-law's house (Matthew 8:14). Peter was a fisherman who inherited his father's fishing skills (Matthew 4:18). One day while he was casting his net into the lake, Jesus suddenly passed by and called them to be His disciples (Matthew 1:16-17). This is a brief background of Simon Peter.
In Jesus' ministry, Peter always took part alongside Jesus. He often accompanied Jesus wherever He went, including once pulling Jesus' hand when Jesus wanted to return to Jerusalem, which is why Jesus was angry with him: "Get behind me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to me; you do not have in mind the concerns of God, but merely human concerns." (Mark 8:33)
When accompanying Jesus in prayer at the Garden of Gethsemane, Peter was the one who drew his sword against one of the soldiers and cut off his ear. Peter is recorded as following Jesus only until Jesus was brought before the High Priest Annas (Matt 26:69-75; Mark 14:53-56; Luke 22:54-62; John 18:12-27). The final moments were fatal, as Peter ended up denying Jesus three times before the rooster crowed twice (Mark 14:30). This was likely due to deep feelings of guilt and regret in Peter for his denial of Jesus. Peter is last recorded leaving in bitter tears (Matt 26:75; Luke 22:62), and thus did not accompany Jesus to Golgotha.
After Jesus was crucified and had risen from the tomb, the disciples began to disperse. At that time, Peter responded quickly, saying, "I am going fishing." The others said to him, "We will go with you." They set out and got into the boat, but that night they caught nothing (John 21:3). Peter realized he had no special abilities. When he was called to be Jesus' disciple, he was just an ordinary fisherman. Now without Jesus with them, he had no particular skills. Peter was always aware of who he was; though his past should be forgotten, if it could serve as inspiration, what was wrong with keeping it as a reminder, so that we truly know who we are.
Today, there are many people whose lives are not like Peter's - their lives are full of pretense and fabrication. They appear beautiful, good, and humble, but only on the outside, only visible on social media, while the reality is different. In practice, they are cruel and wicked - cruel to their servants, cruel to their employees, even cruel to their neighbors and families. We need to ask God for forgiveness if our behavior is like that. People who do not realize who they are cannot be expected to know their place. They may drive luxury cars, fly first class, wear designer brands, even though their salary is meager and they are in debt everywhere. For them, what matters is prestige and appearance. There are even people so lacking in self-confidence that they are willing to sacrifice their faces through plastic surgery, even though they were born quite beautiful and attractive. I'm not saying we can't have plastic surgery - it's fine if it's for birth defects, accidents, or maintenance, but not to change what God created into something else.
In March 2017, three women from China enjoyed a vacation in South Korea. During their vacation, they took the opportunity to have plastic surgery on their faces. However, because their vacation was short and time was tight, they had to quickly return to China. Unfortunately, all three were detained at Korea's Incheon immigration because the surgical marks on their faces had not yet healed, were still swollen, so their faces did not match the photos in their passports. People who don't "know themselves" and don't appreciate God's creation find it difficult to feel grateful. I once heard a story from a woman in Jakarta who said her older sister always went abroad to have facial surgery bit by bit, until finally her face was not exactly her original one. Her parents were very angry, feeling that their daughter did not appreciate them as her parents and did not appreciate God's creation.
Peter was aware of who he was. That's why when he was no longer with Jesus, he immediately decided to return to fishing. He didn't want to be a burden to others; because of his lack of understanding, he wanted to remain true to himself with what he had. In our ministry life, we may experience such situations. Sometimes we long to serve God smoothly in a church, but because we face and serve fellow sinful humans with their own problems, friction can occur that we don't actually want.
In 2003, my family and I moved to serve in an Indonesian church in America. At that time, the church urgently needed a servant of God. We were contacted repeatedly via email and phone, and because of the time difference, communication often happened at different times - morning for one and night for the other. After it was agreed, we moved our ministry to America as a family; at that time our children were still young. After serving for almost nine years, disharmony began to appear in the ministry, which of course made the ministry uncomfortable to continue. At that time, I felt like Peter, because our children were still young, while we were in a foreign country, and had to start with a new ministry life atmosphere, which at that time we didn't know where to go.
In America, the conditions are certainly not like our homeland. Most Indonesian churches here already have their servants of God, and they also don't have the funds to add a new servant of God. While serving in a local church is almost impossible, because they need fluency in language, whether English, or if it's a Chinese church, Mandarin, especially in San Francisco where Cantonese is widely used. If it's just everyday language, we might still be able to manage, but if it's sermon language, it's certainly different; this would become chaotic. At such times, my family and I only relied on God. We prayed to God for His guidance, so that we would not take the wrong step.
To work in the secular field was possible, because we already held green cards at that time, but our family moved to America with a very clear calling, to serve, not to work. If we had just come to America to work, I wouldn't have needed to study at the Seminary and become a pastor; I could have just gone straight to America. That's why we were determined to be faithful to His calling.
We continuously asked for God's guidance, and as time went by, we started an Indonesian-language fellowship. With very minimal offering funds every week, we rented two small rooms for worship and Sunday school. This fellowship lasted about seven months, without receiving any salary, but God still provided for His servants with no lack. By God's grace, we managed to borrow a multipurpose room in a larger church which we have used until today, through various processes that God facilitated step by step. And because of God's miracle, He sent the Senior Pastor from the church we borrowed from to offer us to join his church as a full-time servant of God handling the Indonesian-speaking congregation, even though their church was in English and Mandarin, and at that time we had just started with a few members, including our family. It was at that moment that our family's eyes were opened and we were sure this was confirmation from God.
From this situation, our family saw that God doesn't always work in our lives by providing smooth sailing. Sometimes there are obstacles in the form of pebbles that color the journey. However, learning from the experiences of God's faithful children, we see that God never leaves us for a second; He knows what we are struggling with. That's why if we are truly faithful to Him, God will use ways that may seem illogical to us to teach us to truly have faith in Him. One example I learned from is the life of Joseph, Jacob's son. He was sold by his brothers to Egypt, where he was made a slave and even thrown into prison. But Joseph remained faithful to God, and long story short, he became the second-in-command in Egypt. The words that came out of Joseph's mouth to his brothers were something like this: "You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good."
2. Peter Regrets His Actions
Peter's very brave and confident words, spoken to Jesus, when Jesus said: Matthew 26:33 Peter replied, "Even if all fall away on account of you, I never will." Matthew 26:34 "Truly I tell you," Jesus answered, "this very night, before the rooster crows, you will disown me three times." Matthew 26:35 But Peter declared, "Even if I have to die with you, I will never disown you." And all the other disciples said the same.
However, the digital record shows that Peter did indeed deny Jesus three times. At that moment, he was truly very regretful and he wept. But what could be done, the rice had already become porridge, he had done it, time never repeats, it's true what people say, regret always comes too late.
After this incident, Peter surely felt sad, guilty, regretful, but he also realized this couldn't go on for too long. He had to "Move On", he had to do something, that's why he decided to return to the past. But Jesus couldn't accept this, after all, Peter was His disciple who had been with Him through thick and thin. Although as a disciple who had 'failed', Jesus didn't care, He still loved Peter, until finally one morning He met Peter privately on the shore.
As we know, Peter, being temperamental, certainly couldn't sit still, that's why he had to do something, rather than remain motionless and confused in despair. One day when he was on the beach together, Thomas, Nathanael, the sons of Zebedee and two other disciples were also present. Then Peter threw out the idea of fishing, because that was all he could do. Apparently his idea was well received by his friends, so they all wanted to go too. Notice John 21:3b, my friends said, "We'll go with you," he didn't force them, everyone voluntarily followed Peter.
That night they immediately headed out to sea in a boat to catch fish, but either because they hadn't fished for a long time, or because they were out of practice, throughout that night they didn't catch a single fish. When day began to break, Jesus was also present on the shore without their knowledge. At that time, He seemed to give orders to them and their friends to cast the net, but His method was contrary to the traditional way of fishermen. Surprisingly, at that time Peter and his friends didn't protest, even though it was clear that Jesus wasn't an expert at catching fish, wasn't His father a carpenter? But why was Jesus teaching His disciples to catch fish? Amazingly, that day their net was full of fish, fortunately the net didn't tear, they caught one hundred and fifty-three fish. That day they had breakfast of grilled fish together, and that day it was proven that the carpenter's son taught fishermen how to catch fish.
After breakfast, suddenly Jesus invited me to talk, He said "Simon son of John, do you love me more than these?" Meaning, did Peter love Him more than the boat, net, fish and other disciples? Jesus used the verb "love" with the word "Agape" which is God's love. Peter couldn't answer that, then he said "Yes, Lord, you know that I love you", Peter used "Phileo" love, which is love between humans. Then Jesus said "Feed my lambs." Unexpectedly, for the second time Jesus asked Peter "Simon son of John, do you love me?" This time Jesus still used the word love "Agape", but Peter answered with the word Love "Phileo" namely "Yes, Lord, you know that I love you", then Jesus said "Take care of my sheep." For the third time Jesus asked Peter "Simon son of John, do you love me?". At that time Peter couldn't stand it anymore, he was very sad. Guilt arose in his life, he was reminded of the rooster that crowed twice. At that moment he felt his life was truly worthless before Jesus, his words would surely no longer be trusted by people. He was ashamed. Apparently the question format this time had been changed slightly by Jesus, the word "Love" was now using the word "Phileo", so Peter answered with the same word of love, because "Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you". Jesus said again "Feed my sheep." Peter had failed, but fortunately failure didn't make him despair. The incident by the lake rekindled Peter's determination to follow the Lord Jesus again (return), the boat, net and fish would soon be left behind, now he was determined to follow Jesus for life. It's absolutely true, if we commit our lives totally to the Lord, surely the Lord will never leave us either. John 21:19b After saying this, He said to Peter, "Follow me."
3 Peter Renews His Calling
Peter resumed his ministry. He said that while he had no silver or gold, in the name of the Lord Jesus, the lame could walk (Acts 3:1-8), and even the dead were raised (Acts 9:1-40). The sermons he delivered to God's people were filled with power - three thousand people repented and accepted Jesus (Acts 2:41), followed by five thousand more (Acts 4:4), and the Lord added daily to their number those who were being saved (Acts 2:47).
When Jesus ascended to Heaven, He instructed His disciples that the Holy Spirit would come upon them and they would receive power. Acts 1:8 records: "But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth." Acts 1:11-12 continues: "'Men of Galilee,' they said, 'why do you stand here looking into the sky? This same Jesus, who has been taken from you into heaven, will come back in the same way you have seen him go into heaven.' Then the apostles returned to Jerusalem from the hill called the Mount of Olives, a Sabbath day's walk from the city." The apostles were devoted to prayer.
In Acts 2, on the day of Pentecost, the Holy Spirit descended and miracles occurred. The apostles were given power to preach the Gospel. This is where Peter's calling was renewed. Jesus did not want His disciples to return to the past; He wanted them to move forward. They had been called from being fishers of fish to fishers of men. Their spirits were renewed. On this occasion, Peter was used extraordinarily - he preached fervently, and five thousand men repented and were baptized, not including women and children.
We know that all this was not Peter's personal effort, but he was truly empowered by the Holy Spirit. Peter remained faithful in serving the Lord, despite various difficulties. Sometimes he had to face the authorities because of this Gospel proclamation, but remember the saying, "the more it's cut down, the more it spreads" - this is the principle of how the Gospel is proclaimed. Therefore, do not despair with the various difficulties experienced; our suffering is still small compared to the suffering of Peter, and even more so of the Lord Jesus who was crucified.
Sometimes in ministry, faith is tested and we fall and rise; we are not exempt from these weaknesses. What's very painful is when there are coworkers who wear masks and also elbow us from behind. Pray that we are fortunate like Peter who had a kind-hearted ministry partner named Paul. He lovingly rebuked Peter, allowing him to return to the right path (Galatians 2:11-14).
Serving the Lord is not a competition. That's why people who know who they are, like Peter, always feel unworthy to serve the Lord. It's only because of His grace, not intelligence, education, wealth, or appearance. As servants of God, we indeed cannot make everyone happy with us, but at the very least, we will not intentionally hurt others, although sometimes it's beyond our control - people can be sensitive and feel hurt. When the devil is at work, he can attack us from various angles. Sometimes he uses God's word to attack God's children. Remember that Adam and Eve were tempted and fell into sin because the devil twisted God's word. The congregation we serve responds to God's word delivered from the pulpit with various interpretations.
If they do not have mature faith, God's word of rebuke is sometimes seen as criticism from the servant of God at the pulpit. However, if a church member with mature faith hears God's word in church and it touches their life, they should be grateful, because God's word is truly alive and speaking to them.
For Peter, and for all of us, the support of friends and family is very necessary in serving God. That's why Peter proudly introduced his wife, sometimes bringing her to the mission field (1 Corinthians 9:5). Her name is not mentioned by the Bible writers, but tradition calls her Concordia or Perpetua. Peter was also very faithful to God, even willing to die for Him in the end. Towards the end of his life, he experienced various tortures due to his faithfulness to Jesus, especially pressure from the Roman government. He was arrested while leaving Rome, and history records that he also died on a cross, but upside down. He died for the sake of preaching the Gospel, which was not a vain death - the Gospel he preached still lives on today. As a reminder for us all, that one day we will leave this world, but what we do for God remains in the world until Jesus comes for the second time. Have you done something for God?
As humans, we are not perfect. We may have failed, but failure should not make us lose hope. We must rise again and come to God so He can renew us. As the apostle Paul said to Philemon when delivering Onesimus, his slave who had once stolen his goods, "Formerly he was useless to you, but now he has become useful both to you and to me" because he had repented and his life was renewed. On the other hand, we may be successful people with blessed and extraordinary ministries. But this should not make us forget ourselves or become arrogant. After all, we are servants working in God's field, and our boss is God, while we are merely servants or slaves.
If we learn from Peter, who clearly knew who he was, surely whoever we are will feel unworthy before God. Because of this unworthiness, we certainly will not feel superior in any way before God. Peter's failure, renewed by Jesus, made Peter extraordinarily useful. Therefore for us, any position, wealth, knowledge, and high office entrusted to us is God's grace, especially as God's servants - what is there to boast about being a servant? Be someone who knows themselves. Remember, a person who knows themselves not only talks but also helps; a person who knows themselves never repays kindness with evil. Conversely, a person who doesn't know themselves will still cause trouble even after being helped, will steal even after being helped. Be humble and generous, because only such people know themselves.
Remember our portion and our position. It has been repeatedly emphasized that as believers, we need to remember who we are - we are just sinners, unworthy people, who are only made worthy by His grace. Remembering all our shortcomings should not make us retreat, but serve as an evaluation of our lives. On the other hand, don't forget yourself, as it will lead to arrogance. John the Baptist's statement is very commendable as a servant of God who truly knows himself, he knows his portion and position. See John 3:30, "He must become greater; I must become less." He knows who he is and who Jesus is, he knows his part and Jesus' part. Therefore, in conclusion, our part is to carry out our duties with full responsibility and humility before God. Surely we will reap glorious results, the important thing is that we maintain faithfulness in serving God for life and never retreat. May Jesus bless you, that's all.
*)Rev. Saumiman Saud, Cornerstone Evangelical Baptist Church, San Francisco, CA 94134, Contact : +1 (415) 813 9772
