Title: “Put off Anger and Pursue Reconciliation” Scripture: Mt. 5:21ff
Type: Expos. Series Where: GNBC 2-16-25
Intro: One of my favorite authors is Philip Yancey, and the reason why I like him so much is because he writes so insightfully on the subjects of grace, forgiveness and reconciliation. His passion for dealing with broken relationships comes from a mother who wronged him and his brother, and never made amends for the way she treated them. In his memoir, Where the Light Fell, Philip recalls growing up in the home of a prideful, self-righteous mother who once said she had not sinned in 12 years, and then he says these words, “Sinlessness guarantees she will win every argument with us, her sons, at least in her mind. It also guarantees that- like her own mother- she sees no need to apologize, ever. As we’re lying in our beds one night, Marshall reveals something that makes my blood run cold. ‘I hate her,’ he says. ‘Always have. Even when I was your age, ten years old, I wanted her to die”- Philip Yancey, Where the Light Fell. Sadly, Philip’s brother Marshall would hate his mother, for as long as she was alive. What an awful story…and one I have heard repeated dozens of times in my life.
Prop: In Mt. 5 Jesus teaches on the need for His followers to seek reconciliation in broken relationships.
BG: 1. Again in the SOM. 1st section “Beatitudes”. Now moving into more of the content.
2. Jesus came preaching “The Kingdom” and this is all on how we as “Kingdom People” are to behave.
3.
Prop: Let’s look at Mt. 5:21ff to see Jesus’ Kingdom challenge to seek to restore relationships.
I. How Am I Instructed to Seek Reconciliation w/ an Offended Individual? (Look 3 directions!)
A. 1st Direction: In Order to Seek Reconciliation Look Upward vv. 17-20
1. Look “Upward” to God’s Law so as to Allow it to Work in Your and My heart first.
a. Now, I recognize that these verses are technically associated with a different topic: the disciples and the world”. However, just because we dealt with them in two different sermons, must remember that when Jesus spoke these words it was in fact the same sermon! He was building on concepts.
b. Psalm 40:8: “I delight to do your will, O my God; your law is written within my heart.”
How do you view God’s law? For so long, I thought of God’s law as rules and limitations. Sadly, in my younger years, I felt that God’s law was only restrictive. As a parent, I came to understand God’s law as protection. Just as a good parent puts restrictions on his/her children for own good, so does our Heavenly Father. His law is there to protect and guide us, to keep us on the path of life. When I stop to think of God’s laws with this attitude, I can make the tough choices to obey him. My flesh often wants its own way; and it is so hard to surrender our rights and flesh. However, in those glorious moments when I overcome the flesh and see the fruit of obedience, I can clearly say, “I delight to do your will, God.” When I forget the joy of obedience and I choose the way of my flesh, I wallow in the realm of
2. Why Should Look to the Law When Seeking Reconciliation w/an Alienated individual?
a. What is the purpose of the Law? Illust: How many of us used a mirror this morning when getting ready for church? (Some didn’t?!:)) One of the purposes of the law is to be a mirror. On the one hand, the law of God reflects and mirrors the perfect righteousness of God. The law tells us much about who God is. Perhaps more important, the law illumines human sinfulness. Augustine wrote, “The law orders, that we, after attempting to do what is ordered, and so feeling our weakness under the law, may learn to implore the help of grace” (Institutes 2.7.9). The law highlights our weakness so that we might seek the strength found in Christ. Here the law acts as a severe schoolmaster who drives us to Christ.
b. So, why do we first look to the law when seeking reconciliation? Because my flesh needs to hear just how sinful I am. My heart needs to realize just how unpure it is. The perceived offenses of the other individual, which has taken precedence in my memory needs to be balanced with a truthful accounting of my own guilt and contribution to the alienation. Finally, I need to realize just how needy of God’s grace in Christ that I am so that I may freely offer it to the one with whom I am estranged.
B. 2nd Direction: In Order to Seek Reconciliation Look Inward vv. 20-22
1. We Should Examine Our Own Hearts as we Seek Reconciliation.
2. Look Inward in an Attempt to Identify any Unrighteous Attitudes and Anger that I have Committed that has led to this alienation.
a. As I said last week, v.20 would have been a really scary statement to the ears of the Jews listening to Jesus there on the mount. (Read the verse!) Every Jew hearing that statement of Christ would have responded in abject disappointment. “Impossible!” How could a fisherman, let alone a tax collector ever hope to be more religious that a professionally religious scribe or Pharisee!
b. So, Jesus takes His listeners back to the OT Law: We know that the 6th Commandment: “Thou shall not commit murder.” Thus, this commandment reduced, from a holy law of the heart-searching God, to a mere criminal statute, taking cognizance only of outward actions, such as that which we read in Ex 21:12; Le 24:17. Jesus, however, was pointing to the greater importance and understanding of the law! But I say unto you—Mark the authoritative tone in which—as Himself the Lawgiver and Judge—Christ now gives the true sense, and explains the deep reach, of the commandment
3. It is important that we examine our lives for Unrighteous Anger vv. 21-22
a. James 1:20 is a great verse we all need to have on “speed dial” in our lives. “For the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.” Do you try to justify your angry outbursts as “righteous indignation”? Keep telling yourself that my friend! I have found looking over my life that about 99% of the time that I get angry, I get angry for Chris’ sake and not for Christ’s sake!
b. Illust: Think of how precise and unholy our words of contempt can be towards another: “Raca” and “fool” were common at this time. Every age and every country has its modes of expressing such things; and no doubt our Lord seized on the common words of disrespect and contempt. Let me ask you, Christian, have you used contemptuous words when discussing the individual with whom you have had conflict? Do you or I use words of contempt against a whole race of people, class of people, sex of people, in an attempt to dehumanize them so as to make ourselves seem more righteous? Christ says that we are in danger of hell itself if we do. Christian, when seeking reconciliation, allow the Holy Spirit to examine your and my heart to see if we have sinned with our mouths.
C. 3rd Direction: In Order to Seek Reconciliation Look Outward v. 23
a. Notice here in v. 23. I want to freeze frame between v. 23 and v. 24. I know we always read them together, but I want us to put a hard stop between the two verses. Dt. 16:16 stated: “Three times in a year shall all thy males appear before the Lord thy God in the place which he shall choose; in the feast of unleavened bread, and in the feast of weeks, and in the feast of tabernacles: and they shall not appear before the Lord empty handed.” (KJV) I.e. the men were to bring an offering. Think of what an incredible opportunity for reconciliation this would have been had the Jews followed Christ’s command! All of the men of the nation were to appear before the Lord 3x a year and offer sacrifices and offerings. About to offer and then “remember”.
b. Now we should think about this…The word for “remembers” is a passive verb (aorist subjunctive) which connotates the idea that the subject (you!) receives the action of the verb. You know what this tells me? It tells me that Jesus is saying here, clear up even the smallest of matters of conflict between you and your brother! No one has to be reminded of a great offense. It’s right there in the front of our minds. But this suggests to me that the worshipper was about to sacrifice and then, possibly out of the blue, the Lord brought remembrance of a transgression that needed to be addressed. Illust: This is something we as Christians should do each month when take communion. Our “communion” is to be just as much with our brother as is to be with our God!
D. Applic: Remember there are three directions we are to look when seeking reconciliation with an offended brother/sister.
II. What is the Importance of Reconciliation? V. 24
A. Jesus States that it is Essential and incumbent upon His Followers to Value & Attempt Reconciliation.
1. Jesus Commands us to be Reconciled with our brother or sister. “be reconciled” is an imperative. That means that the word is a command. Jesus is not recommending reconciliation. He is not suggesting reconciliation. He’s not asking us how we feel about reconciliation. He is commanding us to do the work of reconciliation.
2. Why is it so important that Christians do the work of reconciliation, the work of fixing broken relationships? Because the clearest witness of what we truly believe about the gospel is seen in how we treat people who have mistreated us.
a. When church unity is disrupted, how should members respond? Even in the most dire of circumstances, church members must always remember Christ, submit to His lordship, and obey His Word. Controversy is never an excuse to sin. When sorrows and disappointments tempt you to give up on the church, remember that our Lord shed His blood for His bruised and broken bride.
b. Illust: Samuel John Stone's hymn "The Church's One Foundation,", v. 4 – “Though with a scornful wonder Men see her sore oppressed, By schisms rent asunder, By heresies distressed: Yet saints their watch are keeping, Their cry goes up, "How long?" And soon the night of weeping Shall be the morn of song!”
B. The Very Message of the Cross is the Message of Reconciliation.
1. The Message of Reconciliation is Essential for the Life and Witness of the Church.
a. II Cor. 5:19 declares: “For God was in Christ, reconciling the world to himself, no longer counting people’s sins against them. And he gave us this wonderful message of reconciliation.” (NLT)
b. Illust: “When an atom is split, its overall mass is reduced and a tremendous amount of energy is released. The results, graphically demonstrated by the two atomic bombs that ended World War II, can be massively destructive, with effects that linger for generations. The reactions that result from atom splits have their counterparts in the spiritual realm with church splits. When a congregation experiences division, the consequences are often devastating, widespread, and long lasting. The sinful severing of relationships always breeds betrayal and disillusionment. In a church, where members relate to each other as interdependent components of one body (Rom. 12:5; 1 Cor. 12:12-30; Eph. 4:25), the pain caused by schism can also give rise to mistrust and cynicism, two emotional weeds that, if not uprooted, will prevent the kind of love and vulnerability that are essential to genuine gospel fellowship.” (Tom Aschol, Ligionier, 1-25-15)
2. As Christians We Must Seek Reconciliation with our Brothers to Ensure our Witness in the Community.
a. Illust: My wife has a podcast that she listens to based on an interest of hers. The speaker, who is a Christian, revealed that she and her husband had divorced a couple of months previously, after being separated from her husband for a year. Her public reasoning for the divorces was??? “Irreconcilable differences”. I hate that term when used by two Christians. If the greatest irreconcilable difference (My sin and God’s righteousness!) can be erased by the cross, can we not as believers humble our hearts and lives before another? “Irreconcilable differences” often subtly speaks to me of pride, envy, greed, addiction, or unwillingness to compromise.
b. The message of reconciliation rings hollow when proclaimed by people who cannot get along with each other. Francis Schaeffer warned of the damning impact that divisiveness in churches has on evangelism. The world looks, shrugs its shoulders, and turns away. It has not seen even the beginning of a living church in the midst of a dying culture. It has not seen the beginning of what Jesus indicates is the final apologetic—observable oneness among true Christians: loving one another.
C. Applic: Christian, we must value reconciliation to the same degree as our Savior.
III. Why Should I be Involved in Reconciliation? Vv. 23-26
A. Why Should I Be Involved in the Ministry of Reconciliation?
1. Our pursuit of Reconciliation should take precedent over our worship of God.
a. Illust: That doesn’t sound quite right does it? However, that is exactly what Jesus is saying here. Our Lord paints a picture of a person at the temple about to give an animal for sacrifice (Assumed 1 of 3 times a year.). About to hand animal to the priest and remembers that offense with another. Jesus says to leave that gift at the altar and go and be reconciled first. Jesus is saying stop your worship of God when we are not relationally right with others. (As is incumbent upon you.)
b. I believe there is a great principle that Jesus is stating here: “If you are not right with others, you are not right with God.” This certainly isn’t the only place so mentioned in God’s Word: I Pet. 3 tells husbands to be reconciled to their wives so their prayers aren’t hindered. V.7 (Men check your prayers!). I Jn. 4:20 “How can you claim to love God whom we can’t see and yet hate the brother we do see?” In Mt. 18 Jesus said if we fail to forgive we’ll end up in Hell.
2. Move past “Self” to minister in reconciliation.
a. Illust: I was fascinated when I read the following research a number of years ago in Dennis Waitley’s, Empires of the Mind. Waitley reported that although there are approximately 450,000 words in the English language, about 80% of our conversations use only about 400 words. The most common words in the English language are. . . "I," "Me," "My," and "Mine." If this is the case is it any wonder so many of us live in conflict and need help to break out of our self-imposed slavery to experience reconciliation?
b. Can I challenge each one of us to first, seek reconciliation in our own lives first. Maybe with extended family, friends, etc. Pray and take that first step. Some of you have taken dozens of steps only to be rebuffed. Keep trying dear ones. Others, maybe do what is culturally inappropriate and go ahead and “stick your nose into someone else’s business” in an attempt to help them experience reconciliation and restoration.
B. We are Called to Reconciliation and Forgiveness Because Forgiveness Frees us.
1. Do you realize the Person Your Attempts at Reconciliation may free is in fact you?
a. Jesus paints a second picture for us in this section. He tells us to come to terms (i.e. settle with) our accuser quickly and out of court so we don’t end up in a type of debtor’s prison where we will never be able to get out of.
b. This is powerful figurative language that we’d better take seriously so as not to miss the point. “A failure to reconcile in some way or form inhibits not only my relationship with God, but if also inhibits me.” Your and my bitterness and unforgiveness do very little to the other person all the while it tightens the noose around our own necks.
2. As
a. Illust: Bitterness has been medically linked to glandular problems, high blood pressure, cardiac disorders, ulcers, and even insanity. One leading psychiatrist wrote, "90% of all people in insane asylums could be released immediately if they would learn how to forgive, or how to be forgiven." An article from The Gospel Herald: "There was a man whose health was good. He was sturdy and strong. His heart action and blood pressure were fine. Then his father died, and he got into a prolonged legal dispute with his sister about their father’s will. The case went to court, and the sister won. From that day on, the man could think of nothing more than the lawsuit and his sister. He talked about it, he thought about it, he filled himself w/ it, it became an obsession. And each day, he grew to hate his sister more. Then he began to have difficulty with his heart and blood pressure. Next, his kidneys bothered him. Before many months, complications killed him. It seems obvious that he died from bodily injuries brought on by powerful emotion. I believe the man killed himself, death by bitterness." (From a sermon by Donnie De Loney, "The Bonds of Bitterness," 2/4/2010)
b. By partaking in the ministry of reconciliation you can make friends out of those who once were enemies. NASB: “Make friends quickly with your opponent…” Think about that. KJV says to “Agree with your adversary quickly…” Literally means to be “well minded towards” by paying or compromising… We don’t like that term “compromise”. Maybe the compromise you and I need to make is to make the first move, take the first step, be the first to extend the hand of friendship…all in Jesus Name and for His sake.
C. Applic: I can’t think of too many people in the Bible who were mistreated more than Joseph. You can read about that horrible abuse and the reconciliation in Genesis chapters 37–50. It’s a pretty awesome story with great benefits to Joseph. Because Joseph was willing to reconcile with his family:
– He was able to re-establish a connection with his father, brothers, and extended family.
– He was able to save his family from starvation.
– He was able to display his faith in God’s providence.
– He was able to help his family become productive and live with purpose.
– He was used by God to pave the way for the coming Messiah, The Lord Jesus Christ
