Rebuking a family member or someone we love when they do wrong, or sin can be a delicate matter. However, the Bible provides guidance on how to approach this situation in a loving and constructive manner.
Why Rebuke?
The Bible teaches that rebuking someone who has sinned is not only acceptable but also necessary in certain situations. Here are some reasons why:
• To restore the person to a right relationship with God: In Galatians 6:1, the apostle Paul writes, "Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted." The goal of rebuking is to help the person recognize their sin and turn back to God.
• To prevent harm to others: In some cases, someone's sin can harm others, either physically, emotionally, or spiritually. Rebuking them can help prevent further harm and protect those who may be affected.
• To maintain unity and purity in the church: In 1 Corinthians 5, the apostle Paul addresses a situation where a member of the church is engaging in sinful behaviour. He instructs the church to rebuke the person and exclude them from fellowship until they repent, in order to maintain the purity and unity of the church.
How to Rebuke
The Bible provides guidelines on how to rebuke someone in a loving and constructive manner:
• With gentleness and humility: As mentioned in Galatians 6:1, we should restore the person gently, recognizing that we are also susceptible to temptation.
• With love and concern: Our motivation for rebuking should be a desire to help the person, not to condemn or judge them. In Matthew 18:15, Jesus teaches us to go to the person privately and confront them about their sin, with the goal of winning them back.
• With scripture and truth: We should use scripture to guide our rebuke, rather than relying on our own opinions or emotions. In 2 Timothy 3:16-17, the apostle Paul writes, "All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work."
Avoiding Common Pitfalls
When rebuking someone, it's essential to avoid common pitfalls that can hinder the process:
• Avoid being judgmental or condescending: We should approach the person with humility and compassion, rather than looking down on them.
• Avoid being overly critical or harsh: Our goal is to restore the person, not to condemn them. We should use constructive language and focus on the specific behaviour or action that needs to change.
• Avoid covering up or justifying sin: We should not downplay or excuse the person's sin, as this can prevent them from recognizing the seriousness of their actions and seeking forgiveness.
The Bible is clear that God condemns all of us because of our sin. In Romans 3:23, it is written, "for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God." This verse emphasizes that every person has sinned and therefore deserves God's condemnation.
The Consequences of Sin
The consequences of sin are severe:
Separation from God: Sin separates us from God, making it impossible for us to have a relationship with Him on our own. In Isaiah 59:2, it is written, "But your iniquities have separated you from your God; your sins have hidden his face from you, so that he will not hear."
Death and destruction: Sin leads to death and destruction, both physically and spiritually. In Romans 6:23, it is written, "For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord."
Condemnation and judgment: Sin earns us God's condemnation and judgment, which will be poured out on all who refuse to repent. In Revelation 20:15, it is written, "Anyone whose name was not found written in the book of life was thrown into the lake of fire."
The Bible also teaches that God is a God of love and mercy, who desires to save us from our sin and its consequences. In John 3:16, it is written, "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life."
• Jesus Christ took our condemnation: Jesus Christ, the Son of God, took our condemnation upon Himself when He died on the cross. In 2 Corinthians 5:21, it is written, "God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God."
• We can be forgiven and saved: Through faith in Jesus Christ, we can be forgiven of our sins and saved from God's condemnation. In Acts 2:21, it is written, "And everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved."
Through Jesus Christ, we can be forgiven, saved, and reconciled to God. As the apostle Paul writes in Romans 8:1, "Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you free from the law of sin and death."
The Consequences of Not Rebuking a Sinner
The Bible teaches that not rebuking a sinner can have serious consequences, both for the sinner and for the one who fails to rebuke. In Ezekiel 3:18-19, it is written, "When I say to a wicked person, ‘You will surely die,’ and you do not warn them or speak out to dissuade them from their evil ways, that wicked person will die for their sin, and I will hold you accountable for their blood. But if you do warn the wicked person and they do not turn from their wickedness or from their evil ways, they will die for their sin; but you will have saved yourself."
The Consequences for the Sinner
When we fail to rebuke a sinner, they may:
• Continue in their sin: Without correction, the sinner may continue in their sinful behaviour, leading to further spiritual decay and potential harm to themselves and others.
• Miss an opportunity for repentance: By not rebuking the sinner, we may be depriving them of an opportunity to repent and turn back to God.
• Face God's judgment: Ultimately, the sinner will face God's judgment for their sin, and our failure to rebuke them may be seen as a lack of love and concern for their spiritual well-being.
The Consequences for the One Who Fails to Rebuke
When we fail to rebuke a sinner, we may:
• Be held accountable by God: As mentioned in Ezekiel 3:18-19, God may hold us accountable for the sinner's blood if we fail to warn them.
• Miss an opportunity to demonstrate love: By not rebuking the sinner, we may be missing an opportunity to demonstrate our love and concern for their spiritual well-being.
• Compromise our own spiritual integrity: Failing to rebuke a sinner can compromise our own spiritual integrity and witness, as we may be seen as condoning or tolerating sin.
The Importance of Rebuking Righteously
It's essential to rebuke sinners righteously, without a superior complex or self-righteous attitude. Our motivation for rebuking should be:
• A desire to see the sinner repent and turn to God: Our goal should be to help the sinner recognize their sin and turn back to God, not to condemn or judge them.
• A concern for the sinner's spiritual well-being: We should be motivated by a genuine concern for the sinner's spiritual well-being, rather than a desire to prove ourselves right or superior.
• A commitment to upholding God's standards: We should be committed to upholding God's standards and promoting righteousness, rather than compromising or tolerating sin.
The Kingdom Cause
Rebuking sinners is not just about personal relationships or individual spiritual growth; it's also about advancing the Kingdom of God. By promoting righteousness and rebuking sin, we can:
• Help to create a culture of righteousness: We can help to create a culture that values and promotes righteousness, rather than tolerating or condoning sin.
• Support the spread of the Gospel: By promoting righteousness and rebuking sin, we can help to create an environment that is conducive to the spread of the Gospel and the growth of the Kingdom.
• Bring glory to God: Ultimately, our goal should be to bring glory to God by promoting righteousness and advancing the Kingdom, rather than seeking personal recognition or praise.
Conclusion
Rebuking a family member or someone we love when they do wrong or sin is not wrong, as long as it's done in a loving and constructive manner. By following biblical guidelines and avoiding common pitfalls, we can help the person recognize their sin, turn back to God, and maintain unity and purity in our relationships and communities. As the apostle Paul writes in Ephesians 4:15, "Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ."
