PERSONAL RELATIONSHIP WITH THE CHURCH AND ITS CONGREGATION
50th Cornerstone Evangelical Baptist Church, San Francisco
By: Rev. Saumiman Saud *)
A healthy church is a church whose parishioners have a good relationship with the Lord. To establish a healthy relationship with God, it is necessary to always pray and read His Word. There is no shortcut. Such a relationship is a process that must progress with each passing day. Our relationship with others in the body of Christ is a similar process. If our relationship with God is not doing well, then our relationship with others will not be satisfactory either. Therefore, the key to harmony and peace with others lies in our relationship with God personally.
Our personal relationships with others at church are very different from our relationships with people in the secular word. The secular world offers great friendships, but the difference is that such friendships are established under secular common sense rules: If we treat others well, then they will treat us well in return. Christianity actually teaches something more that simple reciprocity. If others harm us, we must still treat them well; we must return evil with good, with the unconditional love that the Lord Jesus has shown for us.
Our hectic work schedules and long distances between houses can affect our personal relationships with church members. Fellowship in church becomes distant, and many people do not know one another. The active members of the church are often only the ones who live close to the church and whose job is not too demanding or tiring. This is why recently churches have initiated small group fellowships, or district group fellowships, in order to overcome the distance problem.
While it is tempting for a church to make all of their programs simply for the purpose of strengthening friendship within the church, without an attempt to build religious understanding and a good relationship with God, such programs will be meaningless. Such fellowship programs become merely a time to hang out and hear the latest gossip. Our Bible clearly emphasizes what it takes to have a good fellowship.
1. Harmony is created through mutual love
Mutual love in this case does not mean mere sympathy or sweet words; mutual love must be followed by action, as stated by John in 1 John 3:18: “Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth.” (NIV).
Love comes from people who are truly willing to give their heart to others. It is not enough to accept this as merely a concept. Pragmatically, when we see others in need, we should spontaneously help them, whether it be with moral support or monetary support. Actions, rather than simply emotions of mutual love are the marks of true followers of Christ.
2. Harmony is created through mutual service
A famous philosopher could write grandiose words, filling thick books which give endless advice on how to raise your child, without ever having raised one himself. Words and actions do not always go together. We respect Christ because he is the ideal example of both. He humbles Himself like a servant as He tells others to do the same, wearing the clothes of a servant and washing the feet of His disciples. “I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you.” (John 13:15; NIV)
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Let us look at the Apostle Paul’s emphasis in Philipians 2:6-7: “Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness.” Verse 6 emphasizes that Jesus is “in very nature God”. In Greek, the aforementioned quote was actually preceded by “to be” (thus translated ‘being’ in the likeness of God). The word used was ‘hyparchon’ (to continuously be), not ‘on’ (being). In other words, Christ has always been in the likeness of God. Even with such a high status, Christ has become a servant to His disciples.
It would be ideal if true mutual service could take pace at church, if no one ever said: “That’s not my problem”, “I’m not the deacon”, “That’s the pastor’s job”, “I’m not getting paid”, etc. True servitude comes from our love for others. If mutual service is not accompanied by love, then the church is simply a worldly social organization.
3. Harmony is created through helping each other
The Lord does not want us to be selfish and individualistic, this is why we should not ignore the tasks of God, which include testifying, having fellowship, and serving (Marturia, Koinonia, and Diakonia). Helping one another is certainly one of them as well. But what can we do to encourage others to reach out? If a church has love, and the members know they can depend upon one another, then they will not be shy or afraid to share their burdens and problems so that others can help and pray.
“Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” (Galatians 6:2; NIV). To carry one another’s burdens and provide help when needed is very important for people to create a healthy, balanced church. The knowledge that you are not alone, that others are praying for your happiness, allows one to endure hardship more easily. Christian life becomes lighter, and Christ’s love reproduces itself when those who have been helped are inspired to help others.
4. Harmony is created through forgiveness.
The acts of forgiveness and being forgiven are supposed to be routine at church. However, we are not perfect. This imperfection can give us life-long conflicts. Conflict often happens between two close people. This is why betrayal can hurt so much. An old proverb says that it is our loved ones that can hurt us the most, not our enemies.
Even church is a place where we can encounter unpleasant events. This happens not because Jesus is punishing us for our sins by making others be unkind to us, but because His children are often immature and do not act like Christ. In the words of Ephesians 4:31-32 “Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” (NIV)
5. Harmony is created through prayer
The faith of a Christian can be judged from how much he prays. It is very disturbing then, that at many churches the prayer group is the smallest and least expanding one at church, even though everyone knows that the power of prayer is great. Our Christian life is full of challenges, therefore, we need strength form the Lord. We can gain strength through prayer. “The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.” James 5:16b, NIV).
It is not easy to live in a foreign country, especially if our family is not with us. There are many things we are unable to share with people other than our families. Others might find it difficult to understand us. Even when families are together, they may be too busy to listen to each other’s problems. We must not let a similar problem happen at church, because then many people may become dangerously stressed out and depressed without anyone realizing it.
James 5:16 reads: “Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.” (NIV). As children of God, we need to set aside some time to pray for each other, because the challenges and problems in life will never cease. Everyday, we are faced with new difficulties, tempting us to sin.
6. Harmony is created through counseling and teaching one another
To learn from others in church is very important, but this will not be effective unless Christians already know the Word of God well. Romans 5:14: “I myself am convinced, my brothers, that you yourselves are full of goodness, complete in knowledge and competent to instruct one another.”(NIV). Here, “full of goodness” means that what we have learned can be used in turn to instruct and help others. Such advice is one form of the Word of God.
You are not asked to become a spy, or a policeman, intentionally searching for and recording each other’s sins. Do not assume that you know everything after learning a little about the Word of God. This is not constructive criticism, but merely criticism. If you are given a chance to give advice to others, let your advice be full of grace, to build that person, not to downtrod him.
Children of God need to check themselves in the mirror, and ask for God’s wisdom before giving advice to others. In addition, God’s children must be humble when given advice from others. Do not judge yourself or your opinion to be better than others. If today you look innocent, it may be because your secrets have not been revealed yet, or you have not been tempted as fully as others. It is crucial to counsel one another without adopting a position of superiority.
7. Harmony is created through mutual comforting
To counsel one another is not an easy task, because every one of us has a very different walk of life. When we are happy, rich, healthy, it is easy to comfort those in need, but they may feel we cannot appreciate their situation. When we are having problems ourselves, it is difficult to comfort others because we are focused on our own challenges. Paul emphasizes giving comfort to others, especially in his pastoral letters, such as the ones he wrote to the Thessalonians and Philippians, even though Paul himself was in jail at the time.
Paul instructs: “Therefore, encourage each other with these words.” (I Thessalonians 4:18, NIV). Indeed, often we may say many unkind things without thinking. This is why we must be careful with our words. We have to think about whether what we will say will bring blessings to others or not. If we wish to have a good relationship with others, then our words must be encouraging and comforting. People will not be as ready to listen to someone who has been unkind to them in the past. Children of God are tired of being oppressed by the secular world with its stresses. Fellowship should be a refuge from this, a place where their faith can be strengthened, not where they will encounter yet another stressful situation.
Despite all of our effort, there can be no perfect church in this world, because no Christian can be perfect. If today you hear of a perfect church in San Francisco, avoid it. Why? If the church is indeed perfect, your presence in that church will make that church imperfect.
For 50th years, even with all her shortcomings, the Cornerstone Evangelical Baptist Church, San Francisco has stood strong. We must be grateful to the Lord, because He has been willing to use His imperfect children to do perfect service. God’s blessings for us have not stopped till this day. I’m sure that everything is due to this harmonious relationship we have striven for. Therefore, let us hold hands, uphold and keep what is good, and cast away what is bad, so that we can step forward into a church full of hope. Amen.
