As Christians, we are called to live a life that reflects God's kingdom values. One of the most significant decisions we make in life is choosing a life partner. In this sermon we will explore the concept of kingdom marriage and what the Bible says about choosing a spouse.
What is a Kingdom Marriage?
A kingdom marriage is a union between two believers who are committed to living out their faith together. It is a marriage that reflects God's kingdom values of love, respect, and mutual submission. In a kingdom marriage, both partners are committed to serving and loving each other, as well as serving and loving God.
Biblical Principles for Choosing a Spouse
The Bible provides clear guidance on choosing a spouse. Here are some key principles to consider:
Do Not Marry an Unbeliever
2 Corinthians 6:14-15 says, "Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?" Marrying an unbeliever can lead to spiritual compromise and hinder our ability to fulfill our calling as Christians.
Do Not Marry an Immature Person
1 Corinthians 13:11 says, "When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me." Marrying someone who is immature can lead to frustration and stagnation in the relationship.
Avoid "Dead" or "Corpse" Marriages
Ephesians 5:14 says, "This is why it is said: 'Wake up, sleeper, rise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you.'" A "dead" or "corpse" marriage is one that is lacking in spiritual life and vitality. Marrying someone who is not spiritually alive can lead to a dull and unfulfilling relationship.
Beware of Narcissistic or Controlling Partners
Proverbs 22:24-25 says, "Do not make friends with a hot-tempered person, do not associate with one easily angered, or you may learn their ways and get yourself ensnared." Narcissistic or controlling partners can be emotionally abusive and damaging to our well-being.
The Dangers of Marrying an Abuser
As Christians, we are called to live a life that reflects God's love and care for others. When it comes to marriage, it's essential to choose a partner who shares these values and treats others with kindness, respect, and compassion. Unfortunately, some individuals may be hiding a dark secret and a history of abuse.
The Bible's Warning Against Abusers
The Bible is clear in its condemnation of abuse and violence. In 1 Corinthians 6:9-10, we read, "Or do you not know that wrongdoers will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor sodomites nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God."
Similarly, in Psalm 11:5, we read, "The Lord examines the righteous, but the wicked, those who love violence, he hates with a passion."
Recognizing the Signs of an Abuser
Abusers often hide their true nature behind a charming facade. However, there are some signs that may indicate someone is an abuser:
Control and Manipulation: Abusers often try to control their partner's actions, emotions, and decisions.
Verbal Abuse: Abusers may use hurtful words, insults, or threats to intimidate and belittle their partner.
Emotional Unavailability: Abusers may be emotionally distant or unavailable, making it difficult for their partner to connect with them.
Jealousy and Possessiveness: Abusers may become excessively jealous or possessive, accusing their partner of flirting or being unfaithful.
Physical Violence: Abusers may use physical force or violence to intimidate or harm their partner.
The Dangers of Marrying an Abuser
Marrying an abuser can have severe consequences, including:
Emotional Trauma: Living with an abuser can cause significant emotional trauma, leading to anxiety, depression, and PTSD.
Physical Harm: Abusers may use physical violence, which can result in serious injury or even death.
Isolation and Loneliness: Abusers often isolate their partner from friends and family, leading to feelings of loneliness and disconnection.
Spiritual Damage: Living with an abuser can damage one's spiritual well-being, leading to feelings of shame, guilt, and disconnection from God.
The Dangers of Marrying Someone Unfit
Impotence: Marrying someone who is physically unable to fulfill their marital duties can lead to frustration, resentment, and unmet emotional and physical needs.
Criminal History: A partner with a criminal record can bring unnecessary stress, danger, and instability into your life and the lives of your children.
Mental and Psychological Issues: Marrying someone with untreated mental health issues can lead to a toxic and abusive relationship, causing emotional harm and damaging your well-being.
Greediness: A greedy partner can bring financial stress, anxiety, and a never-ending pursuit of wealth, leading to an unbalanced and unhealthy relationship.
Beware of the Unloving, Workaholic, and Shameful Partner
As we seek to build healthy and fulfilling relationships, it's essential to recognize the warning signs of an unloving, workaholic, and shameful partner. These signs include:
Ashamed to express love: A partner who is ashamed to express their love and affection for you in public or private is not demonstrating the kind of love that Christ calls us to.
Workaholism: While hard work is essential, an excessive focus on work at the expense of relationships and personal well-being is a sign of an unbalanced and potentially unloving partner.
Shameful behavior: A partner who consistently engages in shameful behavior, such as dishonesty, manipulation, or abuse, is not demonstrating the kind of character that honors God or respects others.
The Consequences:
When we ignore these warning signs and choose to partner with someone who exhibits these behaviors, we can expect to face consequences such as:
Emotional pain and distress
Eroding self-esteem and confidence
Strained relationships with family and friends
Spiritual stagnation and disillusionment
The Biblical Standard:
As Christians, we are called to a higher standard of love and relationships. In 1 Corinthians 13, the Apostle Paul describes the qualities of genuine love, including patience, kindness, humility, and selflessness.
Characteristics of a Kingdom Marriage
So, what are the characteristics of a kingdom marriage? Here are a few:
Mutual Respect and Submission
Ephesians 5:21 says, "Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ." In a kingdom marriage, both partners submit to each other and respect each other's differences.
Spiritual Unity
Matthew 19:4-6 says, "Haven't you read," he replied, "that at the beginning the Creator 'made them male and female,' and said, 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh'? So they are no longer two, but one flesh." In a kingdom marriage, both partners are united in their faith and spiritual pursuits.
Love and Forgiveness
1 Corinthians 13:4-7 says, "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres." In a kingdom marriage, both partners demonstrate love and forgiveness towards each other.
Conclusion
Choosing a spouse is one of the most important decisions we make in life. As Christians, we are called to seek a kingdom marriage that reflects God's values of love, respect, and mutual submission. By following the biblical principles outlined in this sermon, we can build a strong and fulfilling marriage that honors God.
