Sermon: A Look at Love
Specific Purpose: The writers of our New Testament wrote mostly in Greek. This sermon's purpose is to investigate the Greek words for 'love'.
As pastors, we do our best to explain some point in God’s Word in each sermon. That means we must first dig into the Word deeply, searching thoroughly for what it says about this week's topic. This week’s sermon will cover one word whose understandings are central to Judeo-Christian beliefs: I will explain one English word, Love. Why? In the first century, followers of Christ wrote the New Testament mostly in Greek. The Greek language has nine different words for Love with six of those nine translated into bible text: Erose, Philia. Philautia, Storge, Xenia, and Agape.
In English, we can say, “I love hot dogs,” or “I love my wife,” or “I love America.” We might also say, “My neighbor loves automobiles.” Now, loving hot dogs is nothing like loving my wife, nor like loving America, and certainly not like loving automobiles. Unlike English, the Greek language recognizes that there are different kinds of love. Their language has six words to describe what the various translations into English often interpret as “love.” In addition, other Greek word variants also relate to the meaning of love. So, how did translators go from one of several Greek words to a single English word, “love,” and still convey as closely as possible the original meaning of “love” in particular scriptures? We will first examine the different kinds of “love” used in Greek and see how important it can be to get into this detail.
The first word translated from the Greek to love is Erose, it is carnal desire. In Ancient Greek mythology, Eros was a mischievous god of passion and fertility, who was shooting arrows into the hearts of people and immortals and making them feel a sudden overwhelming desire for each other. Often interpreted as love, it is primarily physical attraction. That is where the terms “erotic” and “erotica” came from that nowadays describe human sexuality.
It is common to mistake lust – or sexual desire – for romantic love. Sexual attraction can be a potent and overwhelming sensation, and even fool the brain into questionable decision-making. However, although the sexual desire is not a type of love in and of itself, it is frequently a component of love, especially between romantic couples.
You will find eros translated in Hebrews 13:4, “Marriage is honorable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.” The Greek eros expresses the uncontrolled sexual lust of “whoremongers and adulterers”. In 1 Corinthians 7:1, we find another example, “Now for the matters you wrote about: ‘It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.’” Here, “sexual relations” is expressed eros in the Greek. Paul was saying that sex with any other woman other than one’s wife is immoral, and unfaithfulness. Read 1 Corinthians 7:1-5.
The next word often translated from Greek to love in English is Philia. In contrast to the physical, sexual nature of Eros, Philia is a platonic feeling. This Greek word for love implies spiritual connection, trust, and sharing of the same values. Philia usually grows between friends and extended family members. While it is not as overwhelming, intense, or exciting as Eros, it is often more fulfilling and rewarding in the long term.
Not relegated to non-sexual and non-romantic relationships, Philia is a vital component of romantic love between couples, and any connection without it is not likely to last. A love that features Eros but not Philia is often a possessive, self-centered love.
Ancient Greek philosophers (as well as many psychologists today) believed that the two work best alongside each other, strengthening each other and the bond between two people. Adding Philia to Eros turns a possessive love into one built around shared goals and happiness. The Greek philosopher Plato believed that the combination of Philia and Eros led to the highest form of love – a “friendship between lovers.”
The root word Philia is in Philadelphia, the city of brotherly love; Philanthropy is the love of humankind. Philia is saying I like you ‘because’; it is a feeling of fondness. You will find it translated as love in John 20:2, “Then she runneth, and cometh to Simon Peter, and to the other disciple, whom Jesus loved, and saith unto them, they have taken away the Lord out of the sepulcher, and we know not where they have laid him.” Here, “whom Jesus loved” is written philia in Greek. “The other disciple, whom Jesus loved” meant that Jesus enjoyed being with that disciple; Jesus was close to him. Translators used philia in John 11:3, and 11:36 concerning Jesus’ friend Lazarus and in Matthew 10:37 to indicate love for father, mother, son and daughter (we are to “love Jesus more than these”). We must enjoy being with Jesus more than being with our father, mother, son, and daughter.
The next word is Philautia, self-love, and its effects on one's happiness. The Greek philosopher Aristotle believed that self-love is a prerequisite to loving others. Healthy self-love is beneficial to every aspect of life, including relationships. Individuals who love themselves are usually more capable of both giving and receiving all kinds of love.
Many destructive behaviors in a relationship can often be rooted in a lack of self-love. However, self-love can quickly turn into an unhealthy form when a person loves himself or herself more than anyone else does. Unhealthy self-love can be expressed through an inflated ego, and usually dependent on social status, abilities, or accomplishments rather than genuine virtues. In healthy self-love, self-esteem is not dependent on status or competition with others. Instead, it is forgiveness and acceptance of the self.
People with a healthy level of self-love are not arrogant and do not hold themselves superior to others, but are resilient and accepting of their limitations without feeling ashamed of them. These people are less likely to seek external validation through compulsive behaviors, and as a result, can devote themselves better to relationships.
The Greeks further divide this self-compassion into beneficial and egotistical, healthy and unhealthy, selfish and unselfish. In II Peter 1:5-7, Peter uses philautia in ranking Christians’ healthy self-love, and growth in one's positive attributes. “And beside this, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue; and to virtue knowledge; and to knowledge temperance; and to temperance patience; and to patience godliness; and to godliness brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness charity.” We find amour-propre philautia, the unhealthy self-love, in Matthew 26:20-22, “When it was evening, he reclined at table with the twelve. And as they were eating, he said, ‘Truly, I say to you, one of you will betray me.’ And they were very sorrowful and began to say to him one after another, ‘Is it I, Lord?’”
Next is Storge. Storge is a variation of Philia. It usually relates to love within a family. Storge usually occurs between married couples who are raising a family and occurs naturally between parents and children. While the care and devotion of Storge is an integral part of Philia’s connection, it may also be one-sided. An example of Storge, a parent cares for a child, makes them feel secure, comfortable, and safe, and does not expect anything in return.
Although Storge may seem like an antidote for inflated egos, they both tend to be highly natural, biological, and instinctual. This form of love is valued in Western culture, particularly within the Christian faith.
You will find storge used once in the New Testament. There we find it used in combination with philia in Romans 12:10, “Be kindly affectionate one to another with brotherly love; in honor preferring one another…” “Kindly affection” is expressed storge. “Brotherly love” is expressed philia. Together, they refer to the special family relation of God’s people one to another.
Then we have Xenia. Xenia, usually translated into English as hospitality, was more than that. Hospitality had high value due to the belief that gods sometimes mingled among the people. This caused mortals to be caution thinking that any guest, particularly strangers, might be a disguised divinity for deity could bring punishment or grant reward. Xenia is best translated into English as 'guest-friendship' or 'ritualized friendship’. Xenia meant a person valued generosity and welcomed strangers. The rituals of hospitality created and expressed a reciprocal relationship between guest and host expressed in both material benefits (e.g. gifts, protection, shelter) as well as non-material ones (e.g. favors, certain normative rights). In Romans 12:13, we find xenia expressed this way, “Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality.”
Agape is the least selfish form of love; it does not require anything in return. However, it does also often result in immense benefits to the one practicing it – not just in terms of people reciprocating it with love or rewards, but benefits for the mental and emotional well-being of the practitioner. Practicing Agape love can often increase self-love, and higher levels of healthy self-love usually result in an increased ability to feel and show Agape – it is a cycle!
Greek is one of the richest languages in the world with an extensive vocabulary. However, love is often more complicated than any words can describe. Although Greek philosophers attempted to classify different types of love, in reality, its forms and manifestations tend to blur and blend in various combinations. Thankfully, there are many ways that you can nurture and cultivate these, leading to happier and healthier connections and a more fulfilling life.
Agape is the ultimate type of love, love for a spouse and divine love. Agape says that I love you because I choose to love you. It says that I choose to love you regardless of the costs to me. It says I choose to love you even though you have been nothing but trouble for me. Greek-speaking Christians used agape to express the unconditional love of God for His children. An example, we find an agape translation in John 3:16, “For God so loved the world that He gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him shall not perish, but have everlasting life.” Agape love does not come from good intentions; it is the by-product of salvation and spiritual fullness. Agape is also the word translated as love in Matthew 22:37, John 13:34 and Paul dedicated an entire chapter to agape, 1 Corinthians chapter 13.
1 Corinthians 13:1-13, “1 Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal. 2 And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing. 3 And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not charity, it profiteth me nothing. 4 Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, 5 doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; 6 rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; 7 beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. 8 Charity never faileth: but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail; whether there be tongues, they shall cease; whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish away. 9 For we know in part, and we prophesy in part. 10 But when that which is perfect is come, then that which is in part shall be done away. 11 When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things. 12 For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known. 13 And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity.”
Below are Paul’s 16 characteristics of agape. These are the highest standards. Ask yourself, are you doing your very best to live by these standards?
1. Suffering long, you are patient with others.
2. Is kind, you are caring for all people
3. Envieth not, you take pleasure in the blessings and accomplishments of others.
4. Vaunteth not itself, you notice and fulfill others' needs before your own.
5. Is not puffed up, you do not feel the need to promote yourself.
6. Doth not behave unseemly, you behave yourself no matter the circumstance.
7. Seeketh not her own, you are unselfish.
8. Is not easily provoked, you delight in helping others.
9. Thinketh no evil, your mind is clear of evil thoughts.
10. Rejoiceth not in iniquity, you are not pleased to see evil and are hurt for the sinner.
11. Rejoiceth in the truth, you delight when others learn and follow the way of the Lord.
12. Beareth all things, you have no limit of what you will endure for others.
13. Believeth all things, you look for the good in people.
14. Hopeth all things, you have hope for others when they stray from God.
15. Endureth all things, there is no limit to what you will forgive.
16. Never faileth, you never give up.
Paul is directing you to live God’s agape. That is so that you may love others you meet as Christ would if He were in your particular situation. If you could live up to Paul’s ideals, the Holy Spirit would fill you with Christlikeness. Frankly, living up to this standard is nearly impossible. Even if it were possible, it would not get you into heaven. Only confessing Christ will do that. I am going to digress to make a point with a bedtime story.
As a small child, one of the very few memories I have is of a little book my mother often read me, The Little Engine that Could. Maybe you have a memory of this American folktale that originated in 1902. It is still in print. I remember the bright-colored pictures of a giant locomotive that was pulling many freight cars up a mountain, but it broke down. There were other engines, big engines, in the roundhouse. One big engine was asked to pull the train, but it said, “I can’t, that is too much of a pull for me.” Three more locomotives were asked and all said, “I can’t, that is too much of a pull for me.” Ah, but there was the little switch engine that offered to help but no one thought that the little engine could help the giant locomotive. The little engine said, “I think I can.” Despite the pessimism, the little engine hooked itself on in the front of the giant locomotive with all of is freight cars attached. The little engine then huffed and puffed saying over and over and over, “I—think—I—can, I—think—I—can, I—think—I—can.” And, with all of his might, the little engine got the giant locomotive and its freight cars moving up the grade and then to the top of the grade and finally over the top and down the mountain it went saying, “I thought I could, I thought I could.” That little optimistic parable made an imprint on me, an imprint that affected my entire life.
My mother’s little parable was a touch of God’s agape. A little optimism in a challenging situation can have a powerful long-lasting effect. Loving others and getting everything just right is nearly impossible but, as a Christian, you must try. By doing so, you will have a positive effect on the world around you. Use Paul’s examples, be optimistic, and say “I think I can, I think I can” as you witness to others for Christ. Begin now.
