There was a very poorly dressed woman and her young daughter looking into one of the beautiful department store display windows in the festive downtown area of a large city during Christmas time. They were looking at a manger scene, but here was the Virgin Mary dressed in rich diamonds and other jewels in her dazzling crown. The little girl gazed for a while, and then turned to her mother and said, "She's so beautiful! I bet she never had any troubles like we do, did she mother?"1
Things did not always function so smoothly for the Holy Family of Jesus, Mary and Joseph.
The Holy Family was holy but each one had their challenges.
Don’t forget Mary’s question— “Child, why have you done this to us?” (Luke 2:48) when Jesus stayed behind in the temple. This childhood account of Jesus being lost for three days constructs a framework for finding meaning in the confusion of the parents of Jesus through one’s faith and virtue.
St. Luke, in this bible passage does not attempt to resolve it. Rather, empathy is the goal. It ends with Mary treasuring all these words and pondered them in her heart” (Luke 2:19). And it all worked out in the end. Jesus was located. Luke 2:51 tells us that Jesus returns home to Nazareth “and was obedient to them.”2
The members of a Christian family must influence, support, and challenge each other to mature in holiness which will prevent severe dysfunction but of course, not preventing all stress and difficulty allowed by divine Providence.
Severe dysfunction is perhaps best seen in the book of Judges (in the Old Testament) which is about the collapse of the political and religious order and the breakdown of family life of the same sort as practiced by the pagan nations especially the disrespect of family members and of the dignity of human life. 3
In a happy contrast, in our Gospel today from Luke 2:21-24, Mary and Joseph are arranging Jesus' circumcision and presentation ritual at the Temple as the routine fulfillment of ordinary covenant obligations for a Jewish family, just like a family going to Sunday Mass or arranging a baptism.
Early Christians introduced changes in marriage and family structure compared with Roman and Greek societies. A relationship with the Lord was the primary requirement (Colossians 3:18-4:1; Ephesians 5:22-6:9; 1 Peter 2:18-3:7).
The family that prays together, stays together.
In the Holy Family, as our model, St. Joseph is entrusted with leadership. Dads have a huge part in making a family holy.
Our First Readings says, “God sets a father in honor over his children.”
The apparition at Fatima on Oct. 13, 1917, is the only approved apparition in 2,000 years in which the entire Holy Family of Jesus, Mary and Joseph appeared at the same time. The three little shepherd children saw Our Lady with St. Joseph and the Child Jesus, and both Jesus and St. Joseph were blessing the world.
Modern St. Josephs have to seek a healthy lifestyle which includes spiritual health.
E.g., A “vice-president of a manufacturing company stated, ‘the decisions that ‘eat away’ at him are the ones that affected employees, such firing and laying off.” Dollars, stockholder’s dividends, and market changes are just numbers. Executives see their jobs like the pressures faced by physicians. The sheer burden of responsibility for other people’s safety and health” can cause the pressure of stress.4
Yet, Joseph’s dreams when he slept shaped his duty in the face of darkness and anxiety, and eventually comforted him with a rich destiny. Place your parental struggles and failings under Mary’s mantle and beneath St. Joseph’s cloak. This is all part of the heart of consecration of your family to Jesus through Mary and Joseph. Father Donald Calloway created a Consecration to St. Joseph for Children and Families. Check it out.
In her last book, Sister Lucia wrote: “In times such as the present, when the family often seems misunderstood in the form in which it was established by God,… surely God wished to address to us a reminder of the purpose for which he established the family through the fatherly blessing of Joseph and in the blessing of Jesus as Savior.”
When was being a father and mother ever easy? Yet, St. Joseph, in the face of overwhelming complexity, had to face danger, and navigate his family away from King Herod, who wanted to kill baby Jesus. Joseph didn’t get lost 😊 and found work. True, Egypt was a strange place, but they were eating, and they were learning to get along with their neighbors. Things could have been a lot worse.
Finally, the Basilica of the Holy Family in Barcelona, best known by its Spanish name: Sagrada Familia. The architect Antoni Gaudi dreamed up a fantastic design and the church is a UNESCO World Heritage Site. God’s perfect design is the nuclear family: A father, a mother, and children, which maybe even includes extended family like a grandparent.
There were only ever two perfect parents. Mary and Joseph.
Our families will be as holy as we want them to be. The most important work you’ll ever do is within the walls of your own home.
1. Eric Ritz, Nightline, Sermons.com
2. Christopher A. Frilingos, Parents just don't understand; Harvard Theological Review, 109 no 1 Jan 2016, p 33-55
3. Nathan Hays, God and Families in Judges 11 and 19, The Bible Today, 309.
4. Dr. Segunda Yanez Acosta, PH.D., P.M.H.N.P., B.C., C.C.T.P., Success Despite Distress, Xlibris books, pg. 30-31
