Taylor Caldwell, a female American novelist once remarked: “I am not alone at all, I thought. I was never alone at all. And that, of course, is the message of Christmas. We are never alone. Not when the night is darkest, the wind coldest, the world seemingly most indifferent. For this is still the time God chooses.” Isaiah 41:10 reminds us: “Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”
Loneliness could be defined as a feeling of sadness within the heart, because one has no loving friendships, relationships or company. During the span of a year, it may induce a depressive syndrome and suppress an individual’s euphoric existence, but amongst the Christmas festivities, when so many others appear joyful and content with life, it strikes home with force.
The stark realities of loneliness are a sole experience that no one wishes to endure or accept under any normal circumstances, but sometimes fate decrees otherwise. Although solitude may be considered a preference for some, loneliness is never usually imposed by personal choice.
Its plight often encourages negative thoughts or reactions and aids the onslaught of stress, dispiritedness, sleeplessness and sometimes, a broken heart. It can be the result of the loss of a loved or close one, a disagreement or feud between what was considered an inseparable relationship between family or friends, or a situation, that in itself, encourages isolation. Grief can create wounds that take time to heal. The pain is often ceaseless and perpetrates the depths of the soul. Life may seem worthless. It can form a dense smog in life that continually lingers and refuses to lift. Vision becomes blurred and the temptation to retreat into a personal impenetrable shell becomes evermore inviting. We may lose any zest or interest in life or the world about us. We become immersed within our own sorrow, and the immediate future provides no hope of reconciliation.
No one deserves loneliness, whether or not it be caused by regrettable actions. Genesis 2:18 reminds us: “Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” So, how should we address the traumatic issues of loneliness or isolation? Perhaps the first consideration should include both a connection with God and others. If life becomes an impasse, there is a need for resolution. If we open the lid and venture out of our rigid shell, then considerable scope could be rendered for the hope of a rectification.
Darkness is a feature of every day. Life still exists during the nocturnal hours as a need, or necessity for some. However, for most, it is a time of rest and recuperation. It recharges our bodily batteries for the new energy required in the light of a new day. However, if we seek to consistently live in that darkness as a personal preference, or by choice, then we diminish our source of light.
Light is imperative for a normal life, God’s light is even more important for our well-being. Even through our darkest hours, the light of God continually shines to illuminate a path for forward progression. It provides reassuring support in a time of despair. John 8:12 reminds us: Again Jesus spoke to them, saying, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.”
Loneliness is the stark cruelty of any existence. It needs to become devoid of human life. Anything one can do to suppress its formulae or reject its harmful presence should be encouraged. It is not good for the body or soul.
Positivity needs to prevail over its existence. We need to seek the light of life. John Piper, an American theologian once remarked: “Darkness comes. In the middle of it, the future looks blank. The temptation to quit is huge. Don't. You are in good company... You will argue with yourself that there is no way forward. But with God, nothing is impossible. He has more ropes and ladders and tunnels out of pits than you can conceive. Wait. Pray without ceasing. Hope.”
Hope, in its secular definition, is described as a feeling of expectation or a desire for a particular thing to happen, but its connotations go far deeper than that: In Christianity, it is regarded as a confident expectancy that the promises made by God throughout the years will be fulfilled in an eon to come. It is a trust that the words of God are reliable, honest and truthful. It is a profound faith that God will never desert us in times of need. Deuteronomy 32:10 confirms: “He found him in a desert land, and in the howling waste of the wilderness; he encircled him, he cared for him, he kept him as the apple of his eye.”
Solitude may be regarded by some as a freedom from others. It is a need for the isolation of life. It allows for substantial spells of personal peace and quiet, periods of silence or reflection without disturbance or interruption. It is deemed by choice to be a safe haven in life where one suffers no restriction by anyone, to live and do just as they will. Conversely, loneliness can sometimes be regarded as isolation imposed by others without need.
Loneliness is never self-inflicted. Unless it is caused through loss and grief, it can be seen as a rejection by society and should never be imposed by consideration or choice. It is one of the cruelest of retributions that may be administered. Psalm 68:5-6 reminds us: “Father of the fatherless and protector of widows is God in his holy habitation. God settles the solitary in a home; he leads out the prisoners to prosperity, but the rebellious dwell in a parched land.”
Even if one has been hurt through wrongful past deeds or words, a true Christian heart should have the love and desire within to learn the grace of forgiveness, as these are the teachings of God. The wounds inflicted need to be healed and restored to purity. Psalm 103:10-14 reminds us: “He does not deal with us according to our sins, nor repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far does he remove our transgressions from us. As a father shows compassion to his children, so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear him. For he knows our frame; he remembers that we are dust.”
Plights are the difficult or unfortunate situations in one’s existence. They are the common endurance of life that many have to suffer and somehow overcome, despite the mountainous obstacles that they may represent. With God’s help and those graciously given by our fellow humans, they can be surpassed and a return to normality is eventually achieved. Whatever our own prospectus or perception, life will continue whether we choose to follow it or not. Romans 8:35-39 reminds us: “Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword?
As it is written, “For your sake we are being killed all the day long; we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered.” No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
Amen.
