Healing from the Pain of Unforgiveness, Matthew 18:21-35
Good Morning
Stand with me and lift your bible and repeat after me.
This is my Bible.
I am what it says I am.
I can do what it says I can do.
I am going to learn how to be what it says I can be.
Today I will learn more of the word of God.
The indestructible, never ending, living word Of God.
I will never be the same.
I will never be the same.
In Jesus Name
Amen?
Before you sit down, say good morning to your brothers and sisters.
"Healing from the Pain of Unforgiveness"
Turn with me in your Bibles to Matthew 18:21-35 and say, “Amen” when you are there.
The Heavy Burden of Unforgiveness
Have you ever felt trapped by anger, bitterness, or the weight of a wound that won’t heal?
Unforgiveness is a silent prison that keeps us chained to the past, preventing us from experiencing the full freedom Christ offers.
We often think that by holding onto unforgiveness, we are protecting ourselves or punishing the one who hurt us.
But in reality, unforgiveness is a chain that binds us to the past, holding us back from the future God wants to give us.
Forgiveness is not just a command from God—it is a path to healing. It is the key that opens the prison doors of our hearts, setting us free from the things that keep us stuck in the pain of the past.
The Parable of the Unforgiving Servant (Matthew 18:21-35)
Let's look at Matthew chapter 18
Jesus tells a powerful story about forgiveness in Matthew 18:21-35. In this parable, a king forgives a servant a massive debt—an amount the servant could never repay. But when that servant encounters someone who owes him a much smaller amount, he refuses to forgive and has the man thrown into prison.
When the king hears about this, he becomes furious. He calls the unforgiving servant to account, asking, “Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?” And because the servant did not forgive, the king handed him over to be tortured until he could repay everything.
Jesus concludes the parable by saying, “This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart.”
The story is a stark reminder:
Forgiveness is not optional for those who have been forgiven by God. We have all been forgiven a debt we could never repay.
The beauty of the gospel is that God, in His mercy, released us from that debt, and He calls us to extend that same mercy and grace to others.
Let me share with you a story of a woman named Carla, whose journey toward forgiveness might encourage your heart.
Carla was raised in a difficult household. Her father had been emotionally abusive, and his harsh words left deep wounds that Carla carried for years. She lived with anger and bitterness, feeling rejected and unloved by her own father. For years, she kept her distance from him, unable to let go of the pain. She convinced herself that forgiveness meant letting him off the hook, that he didn’t deserve to be forgiven.
But one Sunday, as Carla sat in church, she heard the story of the prodigal son. The message hit her like a thunderbolt. She realized that forgiveness wasn’t about the person who hurt her—it was about her own healing.
Forgiveness was not for her father’s sake, but for her own peace and freedom.
She decided to reach out to her father, and when they spoke, she told him, “I forgive you.” It wasn’t easy, and it didn’t change everything overnight. But for Carla, forgiveness released her from years of bitterness, pain, and rejection. She was no longer a prisoner to her past. It wasn’t the act of forgiving that healed her immediately, but her choice to release the pain and trust God with it.
Over time, Carla found a new sense of peace, joy, and restoration. She experienced what the Bible promises: Forgiveness sets us free, and that freedom can transform every area of our lives.
Forgiveness doesn’t mean that what was done to us doesn’t matter.
It doesn’t mean that justice isn’t important. It means that we release the right to get even and trust God to bring about justice in His perfect time. Forgiveness is letting go of the need to control the outcome and allowing God to heal our hearts.
Here are practical steps for healing through forgiveness:
1. Acknowledge the Hurt:
The first step is to recognize the pain. Don't brush it aside. Recognize that the offense was real, that the hurt was deep. God sees your pain, and He understands it.
2. Recognize the Power of Your Choice:
Forgiveness is not about the other person; it’s about you. You choose to let go, not because the person deserves it, but because you deserve peace. You deserve freedom from the chains of bitterness and anger.
3. Release the Offender:
Release the person from the debt they owe you. This doesn’t mean the wrong was okay, but it means you trust God to heal your heart and handle justice. Forgiveness is an act of faith.
4. Trust God for Healing:
When you forgive, you open the door for God’s healing to flood your heart. You no longer have to carry the burden of unforgiveness. God will restore your heart and bring new peace into your life.
Let’s pause for a moment and reflect on the magnitude of God’s forgiveness toward us.
We are like the servant in the parable, unable to repay our debt. And yet, God, in His mercy, forgave us. He didn’t hold our past against us. He forgave us fully and completely, and He calls us to forgive others in the same way.
Ephesians 4:32 says, “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”
Our forgiveness of others is an act of gratitude for the forgiveness we have received from God. We forgive because we have been forgiven.
If you are holding onto unforgiveness, I invite you to come forward for prayer and lay that burden down today.
Unforgiveness is a weight you don’t have to carry. It’s a chain that has kept you bound to the past, and God wants to break that chain today.
Forgiveness is not a feeling; it’s a decision. It’s a decision to release the debt, to surrender the pain, and to trust God to bring healing.
- If there is someone you need to forgive—whether it’s a parent, a spouse, a friend, or even yourself—now is the time to make that choice.
- If you have been carrying bitterness, anger, or hurt for years, today is the day of release.
Let us go to the Lord.
“Lord, I come before You today with a heart that is heavy with unforgiveness. I admit the pain that I’ve carried for so long. I choose to forgive those who have hurt me, not because they deserve it, but because I trust You with my healing. I let go of the anger, the bitterness, and the need for revenge. I release the debt, and I ask You to heal my heart. Fill me with Your peace and help me to walk in the freedom that forgiveness brings. In Jesus' name, Amen.”
As you come forward to lay down the chains of unforgiveness, remember that forgiveness is your freedom. Every step you take in forgiving others is a step toward healing.
God wants to restore your heart, your relationships, and your future. As you forgive, you are opening the door to a new beginning, where peace replaces pain, and freedom replaces bondage.
Trust that as you release others, God will heal you and fill you with His peace. Walk in the freedom that Christ has purchased for you today. You are no longer bound by the past—you are free to embrace the future God has for you.
