Introduction:
A. William Jennings Bryan was an American lawyer and politician.
1. Bryan served in the House of Representatives and served as Secretary of State.
2. He was also the Democratic Party’s nominee for President in three presidential elections but he lost all three.
3. When William Jennings Bryan went to his prospective wife’s father to ask for her hand in marriage, he thought he might strengthen his case by quoting Scripture since her dad was very religious.
4. Bryan quoted Solomon, the wise man who said, “A man who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.” (Pr. 18:22)
5. But to his surprise, his prospective wife’s father quoted the apostle Paul, “he who marries his fiancée does well, and the person who doesn’t marry does even better.” (1 Cor. 7:38 NLT)
6. The young suitor was initially stunned, but then with a spark of inspiration said, “Since Paul had no wife and Solomon had 700, I think Solomon is the better judge about marriage.”
7. I don’t know how the rest of that conversation went but as a father of three daughters, I know how fathers can be overprotective of their daughters which was what Bryan’s girl friend’s father was likely doing.
B. The question for the apostle Paul and the question for us is: which is better? Is it better to be single? Or is it better to be married?
1. The apostle Paul’s answer is: Neither and both! How’s that for clarity?
2. We will spend some time in 1 Corinthians 7 in a few minutes, because the apostle Paul communicates some important truths and principles to singles and to marrieds in that chapter.
3. But before we get there, let me explain what I am up to in the next couple of sermons.
4. Because Chris and Leigh Lawrenson are going to be here next week to talk about their ministry with Family Life, I thought it would be a good time to talk about God’s call of discipleship in the lives of people who are single and people who are married.
5. It has been a while since we addressed God’s expectations for disciples of Jesus with regard to the single life and the married life, so I think it’s a good to be reminded of God’s will.
6. In today’s sermon I want to talk about being single to the glory of God and then two weeks from today, Lord willing, I will talk about being married to the glory of God.
C. Let me start by stating that there is no advantage or disadvantage, with regard to spiritual standing before the Lord, if a disciple of Jesus is single or is married.
1. The ground is level at the foot of the cross and all of us are just sinners saved by God’s grace.
2. Whether a person is married or single doesn’t suggest whether they are more or less spiritual or godly or useful in the kingdom.
3. And being single or married doesn’t make a person more or less vulnerable to temptation.
4. Those who are single and those who are married will face different temptations and trials, and neither marital state has a corner on spiritual strength or spiritual maturity.
5. Unfortunately, sometimes churches have oriented more of the life and ministry of the church to those who are married and have children than to those who are single, and I apologize if any single people, whether young or old, have ever felt marginalized by our congregation or any other congregation.
D. Let me give another important truth that is foundational to our spiritual understanding: As important and purposeful as marriage might be in our earthly existence, we must always keep in mind that our future eternal life will be very different from our earthly life.
1. One day during Jesus’ ministry, a group of Sadducees tried to trap Jesus with a question.
2. Because they didn’t believe in the resurrection of the dead, they challenged Jesus with what they thought was a theological dilemma that would confirm their beliefs.
3. They presented a scenario where a woman had married 7 times after each of her husbands died.
4. Their big question was: “Whose wife will she be in the resurrection since all of them were married to her?”
5. After dropping that question, I picture them crossing their arms with a grin on their faces as they waited to see Jesus try to deal with their “knockout punch” of a question.
6. Jesus’ answer basically was: You are mistaken for two reasons: First, you don’t know what God said; and second, you don’t know how God works. For in heaven there will be no marriage for we will be like the angels.” (Mt. 22:29-30)
7. The way we experience marriage, having children and celebrating Mother’s Day here on earth is not going to define the experience we will have in the new heaven and new earth of eternity.
8. In heaven, we won’t be pairing off, having 2.5 children, 2 cars, and a puppy.
9. Life in eternity will be so different from our present life.
E. Let’s let this truth sink in: sex and marriage are not eternal fixtures in God’s grand story.
1. God created the institution of marriage for a purpose, including for humanity to “be fruitful and multiply.” (Gen. 1:28)
2. In the new heaven and the new earth, there will be no more need to “be fruitful and multiply.”
3. Our longing for companionship, which may be partially met by marriage (Gen. 2:18-25), will be fully met by God and by our eternal family of believers.
4. It may be hard for us to understand, but the absence of marriage and sex in heaven doesn’t mean that life and relations in eternity will be on a level blow this present age.
5. On the contrary, in eternal life, we will experience the fulness of God’s glory and we will experience a much greater kind of existence than anything here and now can compare to.
6. This reality should help us to put singleness and marriage in the right perspective.
7. Rather than thinking of singleness as a temporary state before marriage, we should think of marriage as a temporary state before eternal singleness.
8. The presence of both married and single people in the church should remind us that we are living between the ages.
9. As Barry Danylak explains: “Married people are necessary because the church is still part of the current age, but single people remind us that the spiritual age has already been inaugurated in Christ and awaits imminent consummation.” (from “A Biblical Theology of Singleness”)
F. Now let’s turn our attention to 1 Corinthians 7 where Paul has many important things to say to the married and to the single, but today we will focus on what he says to people who are single.
1. When Paul addressed those who were single in Corinth, he was speaking to those who were presently unmarried which included those who were divorced, widowed, or who had never been married.
2. I don’t know how many of the members of the church in Corinth were unmarried, but I am sure there were many.
3. Let’s think for second about our own church family and its make up of married and unmarried people.
4. What do you think is the comparison of single households to married households in our church family?
a. Do you think there are more singles or more marrieds?
b. Guess what? Way more than half of our households are single.
c. We have 47 married households and 75 single households – that’s 28 more single households than married households.
5. That should not only impact our ministry strategies but should impact the application of our teaching.
I. Exploring 1 Corinthians 7
A. As we look at what the apostle Paul had to say to the married and the unmarried in the church at Corinth, let’s be reminded what the culture and life was like in Corinth.
1. Corinth was a wild and wide-open seaport city known for its brothels, pagan temples, and an uninhibited culture of drunkenness and debauchery.
2. Everything that we have here in our hyper-sexualized culture and time could be found there in Corinth; including prostitution and free sexual expression of all kinds, same-sex couples, non-binaries and all that our culture identifies as the LGBTQ+ community.
3. As the opening sentence of 1 Corinthians 7 suggests, Paul was replying to several questions they had sent to him.
a. They had questions about singleness, marriage and divorce.
b. Paul first addressed marriage and said that many people should get married and those who do should be faithful to their spouses – we will talk more about this in our next sermon.
c. Paul then proceeded to address questions about unmarried people, including virgins, widows and divorced individuals.
4. Turning to people we might call “single-again,” Paul said: 8 I say to the unmarried and to widows: It is good for them if they remain as I am. 9 But if they do not have self-control, they should marry, since it is better to marry than to burn with desire. (1 Cor. 7:8-9)
a. It is clear who the widows are, but the word here for unmarried was a generic term that can include those who have never been married and can be persons who were once married but are now widowed or divorced.
b. Since Paul will later speak directly to virgins, perhaps the unmarried in view here in verse 8 are those who are divorced.
c. Paul’s general suggestion to the widows and the unmarried (divorced) was remain single as Paul was, but if that didn’t seem to be best for them, then they should marry.
7. Turning to the virgins (those who had never been married), Paul said: 25 Now about virgins: I have no command from the Lord, but I do give an opinion as one who by the Lord’s mercy is faithful. 26 Because of the present distress, I think that it is good for a man to remain as he is. 27 Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be released. Are you released from a wife? Do not seek a wife. 28 However, if you do get married, you have not sinned, and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. But such people will have trouble in this life, and I am trying to spare you. (1 Cor. 7:25-28)
a. We have to keep in mind that Paul addressed these questions in the midst of some sort of “crisis” that the Corinthians were experiencing – which may have been persecution.
b. But whatever the crisis was, Paul’s counsel was consistent – under the circumstances of the time, it was best for people to remain as they were – if married, then stay married, but if unmarried then remain single.
c. But at the same time, Paul stressed that anyone who chooses to marry “has not sinned,” but he warned that “those who marry will face many troubles in this life, and that he want to spare them of this.” (vs. 28)
d. Because of the crisis of that time, Paul felt it wasn’t an ideal time to be taking on the responsibilities of a family.
e. Paul was certainly not anti-marriage, but Paul was suggesting that the goal of getting married might not be the right plan under certain circumstances.
8. As Paul continued his advice, he alluded to the fact that a person who is single can be more exclusively focused on the Lord.
a. Paul wrote: 32 I want you to be without concerns. The unmarried man is concerned about the things of the Lord—how he may please the Lord. 33 But the married man is concerned about the things of the world—how he may please his wife— 34 and his interests are divided. The unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the things of the Lord, so that she may be holy both in body and in spirit. But the married woman is concerned about the things of the world—how she may please her husband. 35 I am saying this for your own benefit, not to put a restraint on you, but to promote what is proper and so that you may be devoted to the Lord without distraction. (1 Cor. 7:32-35)
b. Paul personally understood the value of his singleness in his freedom to serve the Lord without having to focus on a wife or children.
c. Being married or single isn’t a matter of what is right or wrong, but of what might be good, better, or best according to each person’s individual calling and circumstance.
B. There is much more that could be said about topics related to 1 Corinthians 7 and we will address some of them in the next sermon, but for now, let’s summarize what we can learn about being single to the glory of God.
II. Concluding Truths
A. First of all, let’s understand and embrace the truth that both the single state and married state are “callings” from God and are a gift from God.
1. Both of those states, single and married, may be temporary states on this side of eternity, but singleness will be a permanent state in heaven.
2. And so, whether for a lifetime or for a season of life, we can embrace and enjoy the situation we are in as God’s calling, either as married or single.
3. We must live our situation today to God’s glory and we should serve and trust God in our present situation, whether single or married, until God calls us to a different situation.
B. Second, let’s understand and embrace the truth that being single is not an obstacle to a healthy and fulfilling life.
1. An unmarried person is not in any way less of a person.
a. We talk about husbands and wives as our better half or other half, but that doesn’t mean that a person is only half a person until they are married.
2. The word single means: “a separate, unique whole”—an unbroken, undivided individual.
a. The word single suggests being exclusively attentive: “single-minded” as having one aim or purpose; “single-hearted” as having sincerity of heart; “single handed” as having performed a task alone or unassisted.
b. The word single comes from the Latin word singulus, which means “one only.”
3. Unfortunately, we have often communicated the idea that everyone should want to get married and should be moving toward marriage.
a. If a person who is single talks with us about their concerns about their singleness or their desire for marriage, then we are free to talk with them about it, but otherwise, we shouldn’t initiate a conversation about their singleness.
b. We should never ask: “Why are you still single?” or “When are you going to get married?” or “Hey, do you want me to fix you up?”
c. When we say those things, we are suggesting that there is something wrong with that person and their situation that needs to be fixed.
d. Singleness isn’t a disease or a curse or a life sentence of misery, rather singleness can be a fulfilling life that is lived to the glory of God.
4. All singles need to be welcomed, valued and loved as fellow brothers and sisters in Christ who are full participants in the family of God just as they are.
5. God has used singles to accomplish His purposes in the past and God will continue in the present and future to do the same.
a. Jesus was single and so was the apostle Paul and so was John the Baptizer.
b. I love the story of Anna told in Luke 2.
1. Anna had been graced by the Spirit of God to be a prophetess for Israel.
2. After only seven years of marriage, Anna’s husband died.
3. She then devoted the rest of her years to serving the Lord and lived to be at least 84 years old. What an excellent use of her singleness!
4. The crowning moment of her life occurred as she witnessed the presentation of the infant Jesus at the temple.
5. At that moment, she praised God and proclaimed to all that He was, indeed, the long-awaited Messiah.
6. The Bible says: “Coming up to them at that very moment, she gave thanks to God and spoke about the child to all who were looking forward to the redemption of Jerusalem.” (Luke 2:38)
c. Other notable singles through whom God worked were some of the women disciples of Jesus, including Mary Magdalene, Philips four unmarried daughters who prophesied, Dorcas and Lydia, just to mention a few.
6. And as I have already pointed out, singleness is experienced in a variety of ways and all of them can be lived as single to the glory of God.
a. There are those who are single for all seasons— they are adults who never marry.
b. There are those who are single for a season – they are adults who are presently single, but will marry sometime in the future.
c. And there are those who are single again – they are those who were married but are now widowed or divorced.
d. All of these singles can be single to the glory of God! Thank God for our singles!!
C. A third truth that we need to understand and embrace is that sexual purity is God’s calling for us at every stage and calling of our lives.
1. Paul wrote: 3 For this is God’s will, your sanctification: that you keep away from sexual immorality, 4 that each of you knows how to control his own body in holiness and honor, 5 not with lustful passions, like the Gentiles, who don’t know God… 7 For God has not called us to impurity but to live in holiness. (1 Thessalonians 4:3-5, 7)
2. Hebrews 13:4 says: Marriage is to be honored by all and the marriage bed kept undefiled, because God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterers.
3. Whether in the sex-obessed culture of ancient Rome and Corinth, or the present culture of New York and Syracuse, the goal of all disciples of Christ, single and married, is sexual purity.
4. God’s people must not be on “the chase” but must be committed to chastity.
5. For the married believers, that means fidelity to your mate as long as you both shall live.
6. For the single and the single again, it means sexual purity.
7. Fleeing sexual immorality for single and married people includes purity of heart, and mind, and body.
8. Sexual purity includes a commitment to avoid things that promote lust; like pornography in all of its forms, literature, pictures, television programs and movies – none of these things lead to a godly life and a pure heart.
9. Sexual purity includes avoiding all sexual relations before marriage and outside of marriage.
10. We cannot be living in a way that pleases God if we are living with or sleeping with someone we aren’t married to.
D. A final thing that we need to understand and embrace is the truth that God’s cure for loneliness is not marriage alone, but is a meaningful relationship with God and with God’s family.
1. Whether married or single, we need to establish a loving relationship with God and with God’s family.
2. The church is God’s answer for real and eternal family.
3. Do you remember the episode in Scripture when Jesus’ biological family came and wanted to talk with Him and He said, “Who is my mother and who are my brothers?” Stretching out his hand toward his disciples, he said, “Here are my mother and my brothers! For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother.” (Mt. 12:48-50)
4. On a different occasion when Peter asked Jesus about the sacrifices that he and others had made to follow Jesus, Jesus replied: “Anyone who has left houses, lands, or family for his sake will receive a hundred times as much and will inherit eternal life.” (Mt. 19:27-29)
5. Family for us must be what family was for Jesus who was unmarried.
a. Obviously, Jesus had an intimate relationship with God the Father and God the Holy Spirit, but He also had marvelous friendships with Peter, James and John, and with Mary, Martha and Lazarus.
b. These earthly folks were Jesus’ real and lasting family.
6. Rubel Shelly tells the story of an Arab girl who stood before a church in Jerusalem and through her sobbing said that her father and brother had beaten her severely for becoming friends with a group of Christians at the college she was attending.
a. Her dad and brother warned her there would be worse waiting if they ever saw her with those Christians again and that they would kill her if she if she were to be baptized and cast her lot with those Christ-followers.
b. She told the congregation that she had come to confess Jesus and be baptized and begin her new life as a Christian.
c. She said, “After this day, you are the only family I can have. I will never see my father, my mother, or my brother again! You – only you – can be my mothers and fathers, and sisters and brothers.”
7. Brothers and sisters, we must better understand and express the reality of the family of God.
8. As we better understand and behave as the family of God, then we will see each other as God sees us and we will start truly living as the family of God like we will live in the New Heaven and New Earth that we will inhabit together some day.
III. Applications
A. So, what should we do in response to today’s sermon?
1. First, whether we are single or married, we should seek to be content in our situation.
a. The apostle Paul said that he had learned how to be content in any situation, and we can learn to do the same. (Phil. 4:12-13)
2. Second, whether we are single or married, we should seek to glorify God in every way.
3. Third, whether we are single or married, we should stive to be sexually pure in mind, heart and body and we should repent, turn away, from anything or any situation that is sinful and therefore unacceptable to God and the people of God.
4. Fourth, as a family of God, we should make sure everyone is valued and welcomed and made to feel a part of the family.
a. We can make room in our lives for people of differing marital status, singles and marrieds, and we can reach out to those who are on the edges of our church family and draw them in.
5. Fifth, we can make sure we are thinking correctly about singleness – that it can be a healthy and fulfilling state, whether it is a temporary or a long-term state.
a. Singles do have a unique opportunity to focus in a more exclusive and undivided way on the Lord and His kingdom, and so singles should do so to the glory of God.
b. We should never judge or pressure anyone who is single to become otherwise.
c. And we must understand and accept the fact that those who are married, won’t be married forever – even if they are married until death separates them – they won’t be married in eternity.
6. Finally, God’s temporary and permanent cure for loneliness is an intimate relationship with God and with God’s people.
a. All of us, married and singles, should work at developing our relationships with God and with our Christian brothers and sisters, because these relationships are eternal.
Resources:
Singleness, How to Be Single and Satisfied by June Hunt, Aspire Press, 2014
Single to the Glory of God, Rubel Shelly, Male and Female God Created Them, College Press, 2023
Singleness and More on Singleness, Christopher Yuan, Holy Sexuality and the Gospel, Multnomah, 2018
