No Spin Zone: Anger
James 4
October 6, 2024
Have any of you ever gotten angry when you’re driving? Not at the back seat driver or passenger, but at the situation on the roads. You know, it’s called ROAD-RAGE!!
One website stated - - -
70% of Americans admit they will tailgate, trying to get them to go faster.
71% will use their horn to get someone to move out of the way.
77% will use an obscene gesture. Women use obscene gestures more than men.
Did you know Indiana is tied with Virginia as the 7th worst state for confrontational drivers. California is first. New York is 9th.
I read this story - - - - A 25 year-old man was sitting at a stop light at 12:40 a.m. when a woman pulled up beside him. The light turned green and both raced to get on the highway. She drove aggressively, so he drove aggressively. She yelled something at him so he waves at her without all of his fingers.
She gets angrier and pulls out a .357 gun and fires four shots into the car. One of hits his middle finger. I guarantee you, the next time this guy hits road rage, he’s not going to wave at the other person.
Isn’t it interesting how anger can take something so small as a light going from red to green and can escalate in our lives changing forever. There’s car chases, police, guns, arrests and prison. Yet it happens all the time.
It happens in families, in homes, in work relationships - - - - where anger gets in the way and gets deep into our lives. It erupts and causes all kinds of damage.
We’ve been in this series called the NO SPIN ZONE as we look at the book of James. James is opening our eyes to what it means to be a real follower, a disciple of Jesus in this world. Today, we’re looking at the fun topic of anger!
And not that I’m trying to sell books, but there are a few on the back table related to anger. You know, you may have a friend who needs to read one of those books.
Let’s get to it! In James 4:1 he asks this question - - - -
1 What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you?
That’s a great question!! It’s a question, if we were really going to be honest, we don’t want to ask or even answer.
What causes these fights that go on in our lives? It’s such an important question.
Many of us have been victimized by anger! We’ve experienced it at home from our parents, or a sibling. Maybe it was a spouse or kids. It happens at work. At school, from friends, teachers or coaches.
It happens from random people we just literally bump into. Anger is all around us. The world is filled with angry people. BUT WHY?
When we’re angry it’s important to look beneath the surface to understand ‘why am I angry?’
It happens in so many different ways. You’re late and the stop light isn’t changing. You’re stuck by a train. Someone is going really slow on a 2 lane road. Someone didn’t compliment you. You’re anxious about a conversation you need to have and your fuse is short. You didn’t get the raise or promotion you hoped for. You didn’t play well in your game.
Lots of reasons, we could go on for awhile about them.
Have you ever shouted or banged the steering wheel in frustration. Thrown something across the room? Slammed something down. Punched a wall? Had a violent eruption of words spewing out of your mouth?
James gives us an answer. Verse 1 ends with - - - -
1 What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? IS IT NOT THIS, THAT YOUR PASSIONS ARE AT WAR WITHIN YOU? - James 4:1
Let’s look a little more at this verse - - - -
The word quarrels literally means to be at war or in a battle. Which fits with the word FIGHT. So, what causes our battles and fights? His point is that we are at war within ourselves.
Isn’t that true? So often, we’re fighting this internal battle, sometimes it’s rage or it’s temptation, or it’s an addiction, or it’s a life decision. We fight between what’s good and what’s not good; or even between what’s good and what’s better.
James says, it’s your passions which are at war within you!! That’s an interesting way to describe the battle. Yet, plese understand the word for PASSIONS comes from the Greek word hedonism. It refers to our seeking pleasure as an end goal. It’s the lusting and indulging after pleasure as our main purpose.
If you think about it, most of our anger comes from the fact that we’ve been inconvenienced. We’re running late and traffic is slow. Someone tells us something we don’t want to hear, even if it’s true. We’re asked to help someone when we don’t want to. Someone breaks up with us and it hurts, which leads to our anger, but it’s ours, and doesn’t need to be put on someone else, does it?
James explains - - - -
2 You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel. You do not have, because you do not ask. - James 4:2
Let me add that anger can be a good thing. When we see an injustice, we can take action. We can help be part of a solution. So, there is a positive aspect to anger. But the anger must be your anger, and not what you take from someone else
Now, one thing I want to say is — some say they experience righteous anger. And I just read an article that praised righteous anger. But, I don’t like using that phrase. I’m not a believer in righteous anger, because we often have other motivations or passions at work within us.
Only God has righteous anger, because He is the One who has no sin. We can be rightly angry about something, but I do not like the phrase some people use, calling their anger righteous, which turns into a beat down on someone else.
It’s like the couple that was arguing over the new car that they wanted. The husband wanted a pick-up truck and the wife wanted a sports car. They were going round and round.
Finally she said, “Listen! I want a car that will go from 0 to 140 in under 6 seconds. It better be in the driveway on my birthday or else.” Then she walked away.
They didn’t talk much the next week. Her birthday arrived and as she came home from work, she anxiously pulled into the driveway - - - there’s no car. She’s fuming mad. She walks into the house, walks past her husband and goes into the bathroom.
She notices a box wrapped up in the bathroom. It’s beautifully wrapped with a card on top.
She’s all excited at the trickery, the surprise and the great way her husband put this together. It’s going to be the key to the car.
She opens the card and it says, “Happy Birthday Honey. This present will certainly get you from 0 to 140 in under 6 seconds.”
She’s expecting a key in this box. She ripped open the wrapping paper . . .
It was a scale! Not smart!
It’s selfish desires. It may be that you wanted this car and she wanted a different one. Or you wanted to go to this restaurant and your friend wanted to go elsewhere. Or you wanted to attack the work problem this way and your friend wanted to attack it a different way.
The desire is to do it our way. We desire to do it our way. And we end up in a conflict. We collide. And since we don’t know how to navigate conflict well . . . . when we collide we hurt. We break. We hurt others and bad things happen.
All because we have our wants and our desires. We even give in to someone else’s desires and act all nice about it, but inside were seething. When the meal comes, we don’t like it as much. We tend to stay more silent.
Anyone ever give the silent treatment when you’re angry? Those are your passions at work within you. That’s your anger that’s coming out in not the healthiest of ways. Yes, sometimes you need to bite your tongue and process what’s happened, but we tend to shut down and make the other person suffer a bit.
I’ve been the giver and receiver of that one!
We do things because we’re angry and frustrated. Because our selfish desires weren’t being met.
James also said in verse 2, that last part, which is so true, and he explains what the issue is . . . you do not have because you do not ask.
We tend not to ask in the midst of those heated moments, because we want what we want and aren’t concerned with what someone else wants.
James explains - - - -
3 When you ask you do not receive because you ask with the wrong motives so that you may SPEND what you get on your own PLEASURES.
That word spend is the same word Jesus used in Luke 15, in the story of the Prodigal Son. It’s the son who gets the early inheritance and then goes out and spends it by partying and living a crazy lifestyle.
James is saying that we go to God saying, “God help me to get that job.” We want it so we can spend more on our own desires. We’re asking for wrong motives in our lives. We want this or we desire that. That’s what causes all this tension and conflict.
So, how do we deal with the anger? Some say when we’re really angry we should vent, get it out. You should throw things, hit stuff, yell or scream, and get it all out so it doesn’t build up in you and explode like a volcano.
Studies indicate that when you live like this, it ultimately becomes your behavior. And you do this more and more.
For example — — I’m going to say the word yes. I got this from Jud Wilhite. I want you to say the word no. Say it fiercely. Let the river of rage flow. You can shake your fists. Just let it out!!
Here is your moment. Yes – No – Yes – No –
It kind of feels good, doesn’t it? You get it off your chest. Let it out there. And that’s exactly the problem with just venting our anger. Ultimately, it’s a behavior that reinforces itself and does more harm than good.
Proverbs 29:11 tells us - - - -
11 A fool gives full vent to anger but a wise person quietly holds it back. - Proverbs 29:11
That’s what God is telling us to do in the midst of all this other advice – let it go.
How do you deal with issues that are really significant in life? What about when you are in the parking lot and someone hits your car? How will you process life when it doesn’t go your way? Use a stress ball? Yell? Scream? Hit something? Throw something?
James is going to help us deal with anger and conflict. The first thing he says is that we can depend on God’s strength. It’s a different scripture. He tells us - - - -
5 Or do you suppose it is to no purpose that the Scripture says, “He yearns jealously over the Spirit that He has made to dwell in us”?
This is one of the most difficult to interpret verses in James. Since the Greek does not use capital letters, we have to determine whether James is refering to our spirit, or the Holy Spirit.
My view is that he’s referring to the Holy Spirit, which is why it’s capitalized. The point James is trying to make is this - - - -
- - - - we can make the Holy Spirit jealous by our sin. The idea behind “jealously” is the feeling of the Holy Spirit’s displeasure about our sin. The jealousy is not a negative. It’s the fact that the Holy Spirit is jealous that we would be wholly devoted to God.
The word “yearns” is a strong term meaning to long after or greatly desire something. This is a term of huge passion. In other words, our spirit, the human spirit wholly lusts after things contrary to the will of God. That’s what James was referring to in verse 4, saying we want to spend what we have and we want to satisfy our hedonistic passions.
James is saying that God’s Spirit dwells within us. When we accept Christ as our Lord and Savior, His Spirit comes upon us. His spirit can give us strength to deal with the conflict, hurt, and pain in our lives.
It’s the Spirit at work within us when we’re just about to explode. You know, it’s going to get ugly. You’ve had it with whatever it is . . . and then something happens. God’s Spirit kicks us and reminds us that’s not who God is.
And somehow, we stop. We regroup and become human again. That’s part of the work of the Spirit. It’s always there and available for us. It’s one of the helps of the Spirit.
The problem with anger is that sometimes when you’re really angry you don’t know what you’re doing. You’re out of control. Thankfully, the Spirit of God who resides within each of us gives us this amazing gift. Basically, it’s helping us to avoid that temptation to spew. Paul told us - - - -
13 No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and He will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation He will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it. - 1 Corinthians 10:13
Anger falls under that temptation. Especially when we’re becoming irrational. So, Paul tells us our anger is not uncommon. It’s been around forever!
But God is faithful to you and I and He won’t let us be tempted beyond what we can handle . . . AND . . . He will also provide the way of escape. And my friends, that is the Spirit of God at work within us.
God’s Spirit watches over us. If we will allow Him to, He’s nudging us and moving in our lives. He can help us deal with these explosions of anger that we sometimes feel.
His spirit will be there and will move in those difficult moments. Depend on Him.
Now another way James says we can deal with it is to humble ourselves. Humble yourself under God and His power and authority. Consider these final verses for the day - - - -
6 But He gives more grace. Therefore it says, “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.”
7 Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.
8 Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded.
9 Be wretched and mourn and weep. Let your laughter be turned to mourning and your joy to gloom.
10 Humble yourselves before the Lord, and He will exalt you.
James gives 10 different commands for our lives. The way he lays it out is he bookends it with two verses about humility.
It’s all about humility. When we practice that, our lives will be attractive to all people, because we will be doing everything based on the power of the Holy Spirit, dwelling within us.
There’s so much in these verses that we could go on for awhile. God is commanding us - - - -
Submit yourselves to God.
Resist the devil.
Draw near to God
Cleanse your hands.
Purify your hearts
Be wretched
Mourn
Weep.
Mourn your sinfulness.
Humble yourselves before the Lord
AND
He will exalt you.
I love the fact that this is bookended between submitting to God and being humble before God.
When you do this, anger, while still a very real emotion, will be handled with amazing power and strength, because you’re handling it with grace, mercy and love. Doing with the power of God’s Spirit, who dwells within you.
This week, consider how many times you become angry. What are your responses to the hurts and inconveniences of life. Practice these 10 commands. Yup, that’s a lot, but if you error on the side of submitting to God in humility, you’ve chosen wisely!
