“FRIENDS” Colossians 4:7-18
FBCF – 8/25/24
Jon Daniels
INTRO – Do you have someone in your life that you can just be real with? Don’t have to pretend like you’re happy when you’re not…in a good mood when you’re not…talk when you don’t want to talk…it’s not awkward to just sit in silence with them if you want to or need to.
We all need those people in our lives w/ whom we can just be real – safe relationships – refreshing relationships – people who know all about us & love us anyway. Contest was held for best def of a friend – Some submissions:
- “One who multiplies joys, divides grief, & whose honesty is inviolable.”
- “One who understands our silence.”
- Winning def: “A friend is the one who comes in when the whole world has gone out.”
Apostle Paul certainly needed those types of friends in his life. All the abuse he suffered at the hands of his persecutors, the struggles he had b/c of his strong stand for Christ, the worries & problems he dealt w/ in the churches he related to – Paul had plenty of places in his life where his energy could & would be drained out. I’m sure that, on more than one occasion, he felt the life being sucked right out of him. There were times when his actual physical life was in danger, times he was sick, times he was discouraged. Listen to 2 Corinthians 11:23b-28 – Does that sound like someone who needed the encouragement of some good friends in his life?
Different levels of friendship – acquaintance, casual friend, close friend, BFF. But there’s a HUGE need for REAL friendships w/in the Church. There should be an expectation that THIS would the right RIGHT place to find & build REAL friendships. Think about it: Every time I baptize someone: “I baptize you my BROTHER/SISTER in Christ…”
- Something very significant about the relationships we have w/ each other w/in the Church.
- These are eternal relationships, everlasting friendships.
- South Central Gate – Revelation 21:12-13 – “[The New Jerusalem] had a great, high wall with twelve gates, and with twelve angels at the gates. On the gates were written the names of the twelve tribes of Israel. 13 There were three gates on the east, three on the north, three on the south and three on the west.” – Party w/ our eternal friends forever!
- MWS got it right – “Friends are friends forever IF the Lord’s the Lord of them.”
Of all the places in the world where people can go to try & find & build authentic friendships, this ought to be the place where that happens – not in bars/clubs – not on social media – not in illicit, immoral relationships. People in this very room NEED for you to befriend them. And you need others to befriend you.
- Christian life not meant to be lived out in isolation
- Church is the BODY OF CHRIST – Members of the body are connected to each other.
- Church is FAMILY – Members of the family are related to each other.
- Church is an ARMY – Members of the army fight alongside each other. Have each other’s 6.
- Church is likened to ATHLETIC TEAM – Members of team work together toward the goal to win the game.
APPLICATION – Christ-followers need good friends & must BE a good friend.
Last passage in Colossians. Wrap up “Our Life in Christ” series. Practical points on how to be a good friend.
TALK ABOUT YOUR FRIEND – v. 7-8a – Obviously not talking about gossip. Gossip is one of most destructive, disunifying, UN-friendly actions we can do. Matthew12:36 – We “will have to give account on the day of judgment for every careless word we have spoken.” So, I’m definitely not telling you to gossip about your friend. Not much of a friend if you do that.
Instead of gossiping, what we SHOULD be doing is telling others about what God is doing in our friend’s life & what their needs are. Tychicus was a “beloved brother”, a “dear friend” (GNT) who shared about Paul’s life – “Tychicus will tell you all about my activities.”
Talk about your friend to others – Celebrate what God is doing in their lives – Don’t be jealous or envious – Lift them up to others & brag on the work of God in their lives.
A good friend will also talk about their friend when there’s a need in their life. Tychicus told others what was going on in Paul’s life & ministry – “I have sent him to you for this very purpose, that you may know how we are…” (v. 8a). And I’m confident that, in addition to telling others about Paul’s needs, Tychicus also worked to help meet those needs. That’s what a good friend does.
ENCOURAGE & COMFORT YOUR FRIEND – v. 8b, 10-11 – Closely akin to point #1 is the need to encourage your friend. Paul wanted Tychicus to encourage the believers at Colossae. Also see that Aristarchus, Mark, & Jesus who is called Justus had been a source of comfort to Paul
Encouragement is so important in our friendships. Gk word “encourage” – parakaleo – to come alongside someone to be a source of comfort & strength to them; to teach or instruct them. Holy Spirit – paraclete b/c He comes alongside us to do these very things in our lives. He ministers to us in this way & leads us & empowers us to do the same things in our friend’s life.
Then there are those moments in our friend’s life when we need to move in close to be a source of comfort to them. Word means we will bring relief to them if we can – alleviate their pain if we can. And if we can’t alleviate it completely, then we will certainly do everything we can to soften the pain, to help bear the pain w/ them, to be a soothing presence in their lives. With SO much pain in our world today, there will be many opportunities for us to provide this ministry to our friends.
- Take out your phone – Text a friend right now who needs to be encouraged or comforted (text Pat & Julie)
FORGIVE & RESTORE YOUR FRIEND – v. 9a, 10b – Paul named 2 of his friends who had really messed things up in their lives & in others’ lives:
- Aren’t you glad there are “crash & burn” stories in the Bible???
- Onesimus – Runaway slave that Paul wrote about in Philemon. Had run away from Philemon, been led to Christ by Paul, & now was “a faithful & beloved brother.”
- Mark – Cousin of Barnabas who left Paul & Barnabas when things got tough on 1st missionary journey in Acts 13. Mark caused there to be a sharp disagreement between Paul & Barnabas, leading them to part ways in Acts 15.
- NOW both of these very imperfect men who had serious baggage in their lives had been restored & were a great comfort to Paul.
As Christ-followers, we are in the business of forgiveness, restoration, & reconciliation b/c that’s the business that Jesus is in! We are to love unconditionally, showing the same grace & mercy to others that we have been shown in Christ.
- Pastor @ funeral – “NOW is the time to tell the person next to you that you love them. NOW is the time to forgive that person who needs forgiveness…Beside every grave there stands REGRET.”
- Bo Fisher’s funeral – his brother challenged everyone to be totally sold out to Jesus & make things right w/ others in your life before it’s too late.
- Bro Rickey – Life is a vapor – Time waits for no man.
- Don’t run risk of living w/ regret for rest of your life. It’s time to forgive. It’s time to restore that friendship.
PRAY HARD FOR YOUR FRIEND – v. 12a – Epaphras not just an occasional pray-er – Not hit & miss – Not occasional – He was “always struggling” in prayer – “wrestling” in prayer for the Colossians. Gk – agonizomai – Agonized in prayer for them as if he was battling an enemy on their behalf – Strenuous, serious, soul-searching, gut-wrenching prayer!
Is that how you pray for your friend? Can your friend depend on you to pray like that for them? Do the words “agonizing”, “wrestling”, “strenuous”, “battling” characterize your prayer life? Your friend needs for you to lift them up like that. SO many things that our friends are facing & going through right now, & good friends will pray them through those tough times.
- Vicki & I – “The Forge” – Scenes of friends praying together for the salvation of one their sons.
- E.M. Bounds – “What the Church needs today is not more machinery or better; not new organizations or more novel methods, but men whom the Holy Ghost can use – men of prayer, men mighty in prayer.”
GROW IN CHRIST WITH YOUR FRIEND – v. 12b – Such a wonderful thing to lead your friend to faith in Christ! Maybe you’ve had a chance to do that. Or maybe you’ve got a friend right now who needs to be saved & you’re just the person that God wants to use!
It’s also a wonderful thing to help a friend grow in their relationship w/ Christ.
- Last Sat leaving for vacation – stopped by church on way out of town – Found Matt Hines, AJ Lunsford, & Ryan Winters – 3 friends/brothers in Christ having discipleship time together in prayer room in CLC
Epaphras definitely wanted to see the Colossian believers know Christ in a deep, intimate way. Didn’t want them to miss out on all that God wanted to do in their lives. Wanted to see them go all the way to the end, growing in Him – that they would “stand mature & fully assured in all the will of God.”
We help our friends in so many ways w/ so many things:
- How to deer hunt or duck hunt or turkey hunt
- How to be a better cook
- How to work on a vehicle or fix a leaky faucet
- How to play a sport or play an instrument
- How to do algebra or study for a test
But how many of us are helping our friends grow in their walk w/ Christ – discipling them – helping them know how to read Bible better, pray better, witness better.
SERVE GOD TOGETHER W/ YOUR FRIEND – v. 13-17 – As we read these last verses, Paul lists the names of some of this friends who were diligently serving God w/ him. Each of them had a job to do in God’s K’dom work & they were doing it – Epaphras, Luke, Demas, the brothers @ Laodicea, Nympha, Archippus. Paul understood that he was not alone in doing God’s work. He had friend who were passionately serving the Lord in different places & different ways.
You, too, need to be diligently & passionately serving the Lord through His Church. And serving together w/ your friend makes it even better.
- Ask anyone about friendships that have started or deepened when you go on mission trips together.
- Mission Flora
Tremendous bonding happens between friends when you are serving the Lord together, getting your hands dirty together, sharing the Gospel together, seeing people get saved, seeing the Church get stronger b/c you are serving God together w/ your friend. Get busy serving God together w/ your friend!
