I think that if we were honest today, we’d all agree that there is a feeling of violation that happens when we feel that we have been deceived. Most relationships can take almost anything except deceit.
It was Friedrich Nietzsche who said, “I'm not upset that you lied to me, I'm upset that from now on I can't believe you.”
This is why Ann Landers cautioned her readers, “If you marry a man who cheats on his wife, you’ll be married to a man who cheats on his wife.”
Next time you’re at a party and want to stimulate conversation ask people what they are looking for in a relationship and see how many of them talk about honesty.
I’m sure that a good part of the hurt that comes when a spouse betrays the other isn’t about the physical side of it, as hurtful as that may be. The most hurtful part are the lies, the deception.
We are coming close to the end of our series on civility.
I mentioned how earlier this year I had speculated on what I saw as a loss of civility in our society. We’ve come to a place where we can no longer agree to disagree, and we’ve stopped treating one another with respect, at least with those we disagree with.
It seems that society, as a whole, has come to a place where we demand others need to be tolerant of our views, but we aren’t all that interested in being tolerant of their views.
And I wondered if we lost some of that civility when we lost a common morality. That there was a time, that the majority of Canadians, participated in corporate worship of some kind. It might not have been Christian, and it might not have happened on Sunday, but most Canadians were in a worship service on either Friday, Saturday or Sunday.
They may not have had a relationship with the god they were worshipping, but they came together to worship their god, and we shared a common morality.
And the thing that we had in common was a sense of morality, a sense of what was right and what was wrong, and the one thing that we all seemed to agree on was a short list of laws, called the Ten Commandments.
Now if you’ve been with us over the past several weeks then you know that we are coming to the end of a series on the Ten Commandments, a ten-part series as strange as that might seem.
If you haven’t been with us over the past several weeks, well we are still coming to the end of a series on the Ten Commandments.
Today we are looking at commandment number 9, which says in Exodus 20:16 “You must not testify falsely against your neighbour.
The original meaning of this commandment was pretty specific. It was concerned with how we should deal with other people’s names and reputations.
You might recall the third commandment dealt with respecting the name of God, this commandment deals with respecting the name of others. And specifically, it is concerned with not lying about them. Particularly not lying about them in legal situations.
When I spoke about not killing, I mentioned the only way a capital case could be heard in ancient Israel was if there were two eyewitnesses to the crime.
As a further safeguard listen to Deuteronomy 17:6–7 But never put a person to death on the testimony of only one witness. There must always be two or three witnesses. The witnesses must throw the first stones, and then all the people may join in. In this way, you will purge the evil from among you.
Does anyone see the significance here? Do you know why the first people to throw the stones were to be the witnesses who had testified against the convicted person?
The reason was that if the accused was later found innocent then the witnesses were guilty of murder.
Compare that with today, criminal lawyer Johnnie Cochran wrote, “If you commit perjury in a so-called first-degree murder case, and you're caught red-handed for the entire world to see, and you get only a $200 fine, what kind of message does that send about lying in our courts?”
However, in Israel, the crime of perjury was taken very, very seriously and not just in capital cases.
Again, looking at the Book of Deuteronomy 19:16–19 “If a malicious witness comes forward and accuses someone of a crime, then both the accuser and accused must appear before the Lord by coming to the priests and judges in office at that time. The judges must investigate the case thoroughly. If the accuser has brought false charges against his fellow Israelite, you must impose on the accuser the sentence he intended for the other person. In this way, you will purge such evil from among you.
And so, in its simplest form, this commandment dealt with perjury and protecting people’s reputations.
However, it has come to mean so much more than that, because the ninth commandment has come to mean “Do not lie.”
Theodore Roosevelt wrote, 'Liar' is just as ugly a word as 'thief,' because it implies the presence of just as ugly a sin in one case as in the other. If a man lies under oath or procures the lie of another under oath, if he perjures himself or suborns perjury, he is guilty under the statute law.”
To understand just how strongly God feels about telling the truth, listen to what else the whis word, the bible says concerning lying: Proverbs 6:16–19 There are six things the Lord hates— no, seven things he detests: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands that kill the innocent, a heart that plots evil, feet that race to do wrong, a false witness who pours out lies, a person who sows discord in a family.
Not only does God not like liars but listen to the end result of people who constantly lie,
Revelation 21:8 “But cowards, unbelievers, the corrupt, murderers, the immoral, those who practice witchcraft, idol worshipers, and all liars—their fate is in the fiery lake of burning sulfur. This is the second death.”
If it’s true that we are known by the company we keep, then liars aren’t very well thought of in the scriptures.
A few years ago, I came across this list of the "Top 10 Liars’ Lies": 10. We’ll stay only five minutes. 9. This will be a short meeting. 8. I’ll respect you in the morning. 7. The cheque is in the mail. 6. I’m from the government, and I’m here to help you. We could now change that to insurance company 5. This hurts me more than it hurts you. 4. Your money will be cheerfully refunded. 3. We service what we sell. 2. Your table will be ready in just a minute. 1. I’ll start exercising-dieting tomorrow.
Most people know that lying is wrong. Regardless of what else they believe most people understand that it is not right to lie, regardless of what they might say they believe.
So why, Why do we lie?
There are actually several reasons why people lie: Some people lie To Impress People That would never happen would it? But that’s what it is when we drop names, you know imply that we know someone important when we are just barely acquainted with them. Pastor’s do it when they stretch their statistics. I used to joke back when Cornerstone started and people would ask how many people attended our services, I would tell them, “Oh between four and five hundred.”
After all, 70 was between 3 and 400. To clarify, I would let people that we were running between three hundred and four -hundred and then I would immediately add, seventy is between three and four hundred.
You do it when you make your job out to be more then what it really is. Or when you kind of move your kids marks up when you’re bragging on them.
Someone said that the closest any of us will come to perfection is our resumes.
A government study in the States came to the conclusion that 1 in 3 working Americans is hired with educational or career credentials that were altered in some way, that means lying on your resume.
I read an article about that in 1993 the Port Authority of New York and New Jersey ran a help-wanted ad for electricians with expertise at using Sontag connectors; it got 170 responses even though there is no such thing as a Sontag connector. The Authority ran the ad to find out how many applicants falsify resumes.
The second reason people lie is To Please People
When you agree with people with strong personalities, even when you don’t agree with them, you’re lying.
Has that ever happened to, you? You just go along with it and then afterwards you’re thinking “I don’t know why I did that; I don’t believe it.”
Sometimes we do that by our silence, instead of stepping up and saying, “No that’s wrong, we don’t say anything.” Especially when it concerns someone else.
You know where I’m going here, someone slanders someone else, says something you know isn’t true but to keep the peace you don’t step up to the other person’s defence. Robert Louis Stevenson wrote, “The cruelest lies are often told in silence. A man may have sat in a room for hours and not opened his mouth, and yet come out of that room a disloyal friend.”
In our culture today, we are often pressured into condoning cultural and moral positions that we don’t actually agree with. And when we don’t say, “That’s wrong” then we are lying.
And when your kids don’t hear you disagree with what society says is right, then they think that you agree with those things.
And you’ve heard me say that silence is golden, but sometimes it’s just plain yellow.
Other’s lie For Revenge Someone has done something to you and so you tell a lie about them, or you spread a story that you know is untrue. Just to get back at them.
Why do you think Jesus was murdered? The Religious leaders of the day felt threatened by him and so they had him charged falsely with blasphemy and treason. They lied about him.
One study, by the federal government in 1998, revealed that two out of three complaints or accusations of child molestation or abuse in custody battles by one parent against another were false.
Another reason for people to lie is To Make a Profit
We could have talked about this in regard to stealing, because it’s kind of a two for one deal, a twofer so to speak.
When you misrepresent something to sell it, you’re not only lying you’re also stealing.
Have you ever had someone offer to give you a receipt for less then you paid for a car to reduce the tax you’d pay on it? That’s lying to the MVI and stealing from the government.
Have you ever had someone offer to give you a larger receipt for something so you can claim it on your expense account? Two commandments for the price of one. Lying and stealing.
When did you stop claiming the kid’s prices or free kids’ meals for your kids? The day they turn 13, you tell them not to lie right up until their 13th birthday.
I’m sure we’ve all bought something, only later to find out the seller had misrepresented what it was, its condition, or its value. I hope we’ve never been the seller.
And then there are those who lie To Escape Punishment We see this a lot in kids, I didn’t do it. But it doesn’t stop in childhood.
“I didn’t know I was speeding officer; my speedometer must be broken.”
“I didn’t know this was a no parking zone.”
“My assignment’s not done because the dog ate it, or more up to date the computer ate it.”
“I wasn’t in class yesterday because I was sick.”
I Love the story about the four college guys who were on their way to an exam, but it was a gorgeous day so they kind of got waylaid and so at the next class they told the teacher they tried to make it but had a flat tire. The teacher seemed to accept that and said they could rewrite the test. He put one in each corner of the room with a copy of the test, and said “now to start there is an extra question, without speaking to the others or looking around, what tire was flat?”
And sometimes we simply live For Convenience You write a sick note for your kid at school, even though they weren’t sick. You have your secretary tell callers you’re not in when what you mean is you don’t want to be disturbed.
You call in sick to work, but you’re still well enough to go shopping or play a round of golf. What about when you say you’ll serve on a committee, go to a meeting or attend a party when you have no intention of doing it but it’s easier to say yes and not show up than to try to think up an excuse.
It was Walter Scott who wrote, “O, what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive!” more to the point might be the addition made by J.R. Pope who wrote “But when we’ve practiced quite a while, How vastly we improve our style.”
You see lying can become a pattern that is very hard to break. I knew a guy one time who had lied so much that it was second nature. I’m pretty sure it was easier for him to lie then it was to tell the truth. And people knew it. I mean if this guy told me, it was daytime I’d go out and check for myself.
And one that bugs me today is when we lie Because We’re Lazy And you maybe scratching your head, trying to figure out what I mean, but it is especially prevalent on social media.
When you share or post something without checking its truth and it’s false you are lying. And not only are you lying but you will cause people to doubt the truth of everything you say.
It’s so easy to simply click and share, especially if you want it to be true. But remember a half a truth is a whole lie.
We saw that during the Olympics. There were a couple of stories that went viral. And they were spread by people who didn’t stop to check the facts, and if they did and they didn’t agree with the facts, they went ahead anyway.
And I know that I’m stepping into dangerous ground here, but not guts no glory. And it’s fine if you disagree with me, I’m a big boy and I’ve been disagreed with before.
The first was in relation to the women’s boxing and it was the charge that the Chinese Taipei boxer, Lin Yu-ting and Algerian boxer Imane Khelif were actually men who identified as women.
This, of course, was based on the two of them being disqualified last year by the International Boxing Association after the world championship. Why were they disqualified? According to the IBA’s own minutes, “The two boxers failed to meet eligibility rules, following a test conducted by an independent laboratory.”
It doesn’t say what the test was, or who performed it, or why the test disqualified the two boxers. We do know that they two boxers have only ever identified as female, and they have boxed for years as females winning and losing. But why let facts stand in the way of a good story?
When I was in High School, there was a girl from the Kingston Peninsula who beat every boy she ever took on in arm wrestling. She grew up on a farm, and nobody ever questioned whether or not she was a girl.
The other story was about the Australian Breakdancer, Rachael "Raygun" Gunn, and there were stories about how Gunn’s husband was part of the selection committee and that’s was the only reason she made the team.
I don’t know anything about break dancing, and don’t have a clue how or why Raygun got selected, but it wasn’t because her husband was on the selection committee, because he wasn’t.
And people do that all the time, they don’t take the time or effort to find out if something is true. They just smile and click and spread another falsehood. If you attach your name to it, and don’t check the source, and it is false, you’ve lied.
And that goes for things spread about politicians, COVID and conspiracy theories
And my disdain is high for preachers who don’t check their facts and verify their quotes.
If you follow me on Facebook, you will discover that I’m very careful about what I share, for that very reason.
Lying has two cousins as well, one is distortion, and the other is exaggeration. It’s easy to distort the truth. It’s often done in character assassination, how simple it is to subtly let something slip like, when someone says, “Boy her career has really taken off” all you have to say is “Yeah, but how do you think she got where she is?” don’t have to say anything else.
And then there are those who boast or stretch the truth like a contorted piece of Silly Putty that’s called exaggeration, you ever see the bumper sticker that says, “The older I get the better I was”? When we aren’t speaking the truth then we are speaking a lie, or as you’ve heard me say before, if it’s 99% true it’s 100 % false.
Sometimes it’s not even intentional, it was said of one well known preacher, “He doesn’t exaggerate, he just remembers big.” It’s still lying.
And it’s not just others that you are lying to, it was Richelle E. Goodrich who said, “A liar deceives himself more than anyone, for he believes he can remain a person of good character when he cannot.”
This is a little off-topic, but it’s close enough especially with the US election coming up shortly and our Municipal, Provincial and Federal elections all due to happen in the next year or so, Let’s finish with a quote by economist Thomas Sowell who wrote, “The fact that so many successful politicians are such shameless liars is not only a reflection on them, it is also a reflection on us. When the people want the impossible, only liars can satisfy.”
Wouldn’t it be great to have a buzzer in our soul? You know so when you lied you got a little jolt. Actually, if you’re a Christian, you already have that buzzer it’s called the Holy Spirit, and you’ve felt that jolt. And when it happens you have one of two choices, you can catch yourself and correct yourself or you can let it go. And if you let it go, then that’s called sin.
And you cannot continue in sin and maintain a healthy relationship with God. In John 8:32 Jesus said John 8:32 And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”
The converse is true as well, if it’s the truth that sets you free, you will be enslaved by lies.
God’s very being, and nature was and is the truth. To substitute a lie for the truth is like embracing a false god at that point in time.
