Sermon Illustration:
Viscountess Astor (1879-1964), the first woman politician to sit in the British House of Commons had a long-standing feud with Winston Churchill. The following discourse is an extract from one of their many heated debates.
Viscountess Astor shouted in anger: “If I were your wife, I would put poison in your coffee!”
Winston Churchill: “Madam, if I were your husband I would rather drink it.”
Introduction
I would like to begin with a few questions.
1. When was the last time you got angry? Yesterday, a week ago, today before coming here?
2. What makes you angry? Maybe someone who puts you down. Your spouse embarrasses you in public. Your friend wants all the attention? Your neighbour’s son is too loud. Your fellow church member has different ideas and opinions. Or you’re always punctual but others aren’t. You are neat with your stuff while your family messes up around the house
I can go on and on. There are so many reasons that people get angry.
3. As a Christian, is it wrong to be angry?
Anger is an emotion like any other emotion. Just as you can get discouraged, depressed, lonely, feel sad, happy, you can feel angry. It is an emotion.
Dictionary defines anger like this: It is the strong feeling that you have when something has happened or somebody has done something that you do not like.
When you get angry, lots of changes happen in your body. The hormones, adrenaline and cortisol are released in substantial amounts into the bloodstream gearing you up to handle stressful or dangerous situations. Neil Clark Warren calls it “physiological preparedness” – a physical state that God uses to prepare you to protect yourself when facing danger. This response is good in threatening situations, but not ideal when you find yourself screaming at your spouse or friend.
What does the Bible say about anger?
Matthew 5:21-22 - "You have heard that it was said to those of old, 'You shall not murder, and whoever murders will be in danger of the judgment.' "But I say to you that whoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment. And whoever says to his brother, 'Raca!' shall be in danger of the council. But whoever says, 'You fool!' shall be in danger of hell fire.
Of all the crimes in the world, murder is ranked the highest. One of the commandments in the Old Testament is ‘You shall not murder’ [Exo 20:13]. Pharisees and Scribes had taught that only outright murder was forbidden by the commandment.
God is talking about that and equating it to anger. He is saying being angry without cause is equal to the sin of committing a murder.
So, a question may arise in your mind: Can I rightfully be angry with my brother if I have a reason?
Anger is not always a sin. There are right reasons to get angry. I see injustice happening right in front of my eyes, and I get angry. If I see a stranger kidnapping a child, I will get angry. Anger is beneficial when put to proper use. This type of anger is often called ‘righteous indignation’.
Abraham Lincoln got angry against human slavery. He issued the Emancipation Proclamation which helped end slavery once and for all.
Florence Nightingale was angered at inadequate hospital care. So she did all she could to trans nursing into a respectable profession for women, and in 1860, she established the first professional training school for nurses, the Nightingale Training School at St Thomas' Hospital.
Anger when put to proper use becomes beneficial for the society at large.
There are a few examples in the Bible of people who expressed righteous anger.
In Exo 32, When Aaron made a golden calf, Moses saw that he got angry that people drifted away from God. What did he do?
Exo 32:19 - When Moses approached the camp and saw the calf and the dancing, his anger burned and he threw the tablets out of his hands, breaking them to pieces at the foot of the mountain.
And what about Jesus? Did he get angry?
Jesus was angry at the Pharisee’s hard hearts. In Mark 3:5 After looking around at them with anger, grieved at their hardness of heart, He said to the man, “Mark 3:5Stretch out your hand.” And he stretched it out, and his hand was restored.
In John 2:13-17, Jesus was angry with the money changers at the cleansing of the Temple
So it’s okay to get angry when you get angry about the right things and in the right manner (Eph 4:26). Notice that none of the above examples of anger involved self-defence, but a defence of others or of a principle. Anger is righteous when it does good rather than harm.
There are different ways in which people express anger.
Some people would have had a hard day at work. The boss might have yelled at them for something. They cannot react there and remain silent. But that evening, the family will have a terrible time. All the anger will be poured on the family.
Some others when they get angry will keep speaking non-stop until all their anger is released. They have no control over the words that come out of their mouth.
Some others will begin to use their hands. Children are most often the victims. They will be beaten up for no reason.
Some others will make wrong decisions when they get angry. I quit my job today. I will go and drink with friends. I will not talk to that person anymore. You can never make right decisions when you are emotionally unstable.
Some of us take it out on other things when they get angry. Slam the door, kick the dog on the rod, drive the car too fast, throw things, etc.
And of course, the latest way to express anger: ‘Block’ the person on everything!
The first time we come across anger in the Bible is in Genesis 4.
Both Abel and Cain brought offerings to God. God accepted the offerings of Abel but rejected Cain’s offering. Immediately he got angry.
God then asks Cain, “Why are you angry, and why has your face fallen?” and follows up that question with a warning in verse 4:7, that “sin is crouching at the door. Its desire is for you, but you must rule over it.”
The sin God is referring to is not the anger but his anger would soon turn into sin. God was warning Cain, do not allow that to happen. You must rule over it and not allow sin to rule over you. And we know what happened. Sin followed Cain’s anger and he murdered his own brother.
So while the Ten Commandments said Do not murder, Jesus set the bar much higher.
Sometimes even right anger when wrongly handled can result in sin. Take the example of Moses
The people of Israel had murmured and complained the whole time. Nothing could please them. Miracle after miracle was not enough and Moses had been extremely patient with them. But he reached his breaking point. At one point in time, they murmured because they did not have water to drink.
Numbers 20:3-12 - 3 They quarreled with Moses and said, “If only we had died when our brothers fell dead before the LORD! 4 Why did you bring the LORD’s community into this wilderness, that we and our livestock should die here?
. 7 The LORD said to Moses, 8 “Take the staff, and you and your brother Aaron gather the assembly together. Speak to that rock before their eyes and it will pour out its water. You will bring water out of the rock for the community so they and their livestock can drink.”
9 So Moses took the staff from the LORD’s presence, just as he commanded him. 10 He and Aaron gathered the assembly together in front of the rock and Moses said to them, “Listen, you rebels, must we bring you water out of this rock?” 11 Then Moses raised his arm and struck the rock twice with his staff. Water gushed out, and the community and their livestock drank.
12 But the LORD said to Moses and Aaron, “Because you did not trust in me enough to honor me as holy in the sight of the Israelites, you will not bring this community into the land I give them.”
God said it was a lack of faith. you did not honour me. Moses was angry so he had no control over what he was doing and saying. Instead of speaking to the rock, he struck it. Moses’ anger was right, but his response was wrong.
Anger can cause relational problems such as broken marriages, loss of friends, and issues with children. Anger can cause major life problems such as loss of job, property, etc. Anger can cause emotional problems. And anger can cause physical problems such as hypertension, heart disease or insomnia
In Matthew 5:22b, Jesus continues, And whoever says to his brother, 'Raca!' shall be in danger of the council. But whoever says, 'You fool!' shall be in danger of hell fire. When you get angry, you begin to express with wrong words, then wrong actions and finally your character becomes wrong
Anger if not controlled will always express itself in wrong ways. Anger that is selfish, undisciplined, and uncontrolled is always sinful.
Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.” (James 1:19–20)
3. How do you deal with anger or how do you handle anger?
When you are angry, how do you react? Think for a moment? Do you remain calm? Or do you yell?
Handling anger is an important Christian principle.
Ecclesiastes 7:9 Be not hasty in thy spirit to be angry: for anger resteth in the bosom of fools.
Proverbs 16:32 He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city.
James 1:19 - My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry,
Proverbs 13:3 says, “He who guards his lips guards his life, but he who speaks rashly will come to ruin.”
Someone said like this: Think before you speak, and when in doubt, don’t. You can always speak something later, but you can never un-speak the words you have already said.
There are 5 ways to biblically handle anger
1. Admit you have the issue of anger. Admit you’ve been handling it wrong.
According to a newspaper article, “The average person feels some degree of anger or its lower-grade cousin, frustration, ten to fourteen times a day.”
Unless you confess and first admit you have the issue of anger, you are not going to allow the Holy Spirit to deal with that issue.
1 John 1:9 says, “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.”
Anger comes because of three reasons: Hurt, Frustration, Fear. Ask God to heal the root cause of the anger. Anger is a second emotion. What’s the primary thing that is causing this anger? Ask God to heal that.
If you keep blaming someone else for your anger, your issue will never be resolved. You can say, “I am a very soft person. I am getting angry because my wife is making me angry, my children are making me angry, my husband is making me angry.” If we keep playing the blame game, we will never look into our own self.
Are you blaming someone else for your personal struggle? You cannot worship God when you have anger in your heart.
In 1 Timothy 2:8, Paul says, I desire therefore that in every place men should pray, without anger or quarreling or resentment or doubt [in their minds], lifting up holy hands.
The first step to handling anger is to acknowledge if you have the issue anger
2. Allow God to take control.
Genesis 50:20 – As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive, as they are today.
All sorts of injustice was done to Joseph. Nothing in his life was fair. But yet, Joseph was able to do good for people who wronged him. Because he brought God into that situation.
Maybe in the past someone hurt you, abused you, spoke ill of you, made your life miserable, but don’t focus on them. Focus on God. Because God can turn the worst things in our life for our God.
Romans 8:28 - And we know that for those who love God, all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.
All things include everything. Things you think can never be good can work together for good.
This kind of reflection will change the way we react towards those who hurt us. Some people are still angry with people who hurt them when they were children and when they were growing up. Their anger has been with them for so long that they are not even conscious of that.
If you have faced injustices in your life, leave it to God. Don’t harbour that anger. It will ruin your health, your emotions. Romans 12:19 says Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, "Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord."
3. The third way to handle anger is this: Return Good for evil.
Matthew 5:43-48 - 43 "You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ 44 But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, 45 so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven. For he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. 46 For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? 47 And if you greet only your brothers, what more are you doing than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same? 48 You therefore must be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect.
Proverbs 15:1 says, “A soft answer turns away wrath, But a harsh word stirs up anger.” In other words, speak gently, and do not give way to your anger.
When someone talks to you in anger, don’t respond in the same tempo. A soft answer turns away wrath.
4. The fourth way to handle anger is this: Resolve quickly
A pastor went to visit some prospective members. It was a husband and wife and their son. At the beginning of the visit, it was a typical visit. They were getting to know each other, what they had done in their lives. Finally, the woman said, "I can’t stand it anymore. I’ve got to say something! My husband and son have not spoken to each other in years! I don’t even know how long it’s been! They live in the same house, pass by each other in the same hall, eat at the same table, but they don’t speak!" The pastor turned to the man and said, "Is this true?" "Yes, it is," he said. "I made a vow that I would never speak to him the rest of my life and I intend to keep it! I’m a man of my word!" The pastor asked, "What was it that he did that was so horrible?" "I don’t even remember," the man confessed. "I keep my vow!" Now, this man had not only held on to his anger, but he had also hung on to his pride. Because of it, their relationship was suffering.
The book of Ephesians says, “Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.” (Ephesians 4:26–27)
A Latin proverb says “He who goes angry to bed has the devil for a bedfellow.”
When you are angry, don’t stay angry, but resolve it. Take care of it before the sunset.
How can you do that? Talk it over, pray, seek forgiveness or forgive others. Practice forgiveness. “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” (Ephesians 4:32). If you are the wrong one, let go of your ego and learn to say, I’m sorry. If the other person is wrong, don’t wait for him or her to say sorry. Be the first to forgive them
Psalms 37:8 Cease from anger, and forsake wrath: fret not thyself in any wise to do evil.
5. Finally, and most importantly, seek the help of the Holy Spirit.
You cannot do it by yourself. You need the help of God. And He is willing to help you. Ask him to deal with the anger issues in your life.
Pray to him: God, help me. Forgive my anger. I know I’ve been hurt and upset. But I am not going to allow these feelings to control me. I need your grace and strength to control my anger and I trust you will take complete control of my situation and work all things for my good.
2 Cor 10:5 - We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ
When you can analyse every thought from Christ’s perspective, then you will not take wrong actions.
