Background to passage: It’s been a while since we have been in Ephesians, so a quick overview. First three chapters are deeply theological about Christ’s role in our salvation and in the life of the church. Last three chapters are very practical. In fact the end of chapter four some of the “most Christian” of behaviors are dealt with, especially forgiveness and unity because of the love of Christ. Chapter five does begin with things that we should not be doing in verse three, and we preached the last message in May on a number of those things, but intentionally avoided sexual immorality, so we could devote more time to it in a later message.
A precursor to a message on this topic: the Christian church, Christian doctrine, and evangelicals in particular are known for a biblical stance on arena of life. To the non-Christian world, and to many in the church, an inaccurate line is drawn straight toward shame and guilt, as we ALL struggle with temptation. However, often because of the intensity of preaching and teaching on this topic, even within marriage shame is attached to enjoyment. Don’t hear what I am not saying, nor is the bible saying. Passages all over scripture speak of it’s beauty, even in an erotic sense, without shame.
So let’s re-calibrate our minds if necessary about the good and beautiful aspect of sex, because God made us beings that desire it, and it is one of a billion ways that God has designed for you to known Him, praise Him, enjoy Him, and taste a little bit of heaven before you get there.
Ephesians 5:3–5 ESV
3 But sexual immorality and all impurity or covetousness must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints.
4 Let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, which are out of place, but instead let there be thanksgiving.
5 For you may be sure of this, that everyone who is sexually immoral or impure, or who is covetous (that is, an idolater), has no inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God.
Opening illustration: My conviction is that the better you know the supremacy of Christ, the more sacred and satisfying and Christ-exalting your sexuality will be. I have a picture in my mind of the majesty of Christ like the sun at the center of the solar system of your life. The massive sun, 333,000 times the mass of the earth, holds all the planets in orbit, even little Pluto, 3.6 billion miles away. So it is with the supremacy of Christ in your life. All the planets of your life—your sexuality and desires, your commitments and beliefs, your aspirations and dreams, your attitudes and convictions, your habits and disciplines, your solitude and relationships, your labor and leisure, your thinking and feeling—all the planets of your life are held in orbit by the greatness and gravity and blazing brightness of the supremacy of Jesus Christ at the center of your life. If he ceases to be the bright, blazing, satisfying beauty at the center of your life, the planets will fly into confusion, a hundred things will be out of control, and sooner or later they will crash into destruction. -Piper, Sex and the Supremacy of God
Main thought: The passage deals with immorality that shouldn’t be named or practiced among the believers at Ephesus, but this morning in addition, I want to emphasize that the scripture should not be burdened with baggage that it is often saddled with; marital intimacy (which does not only include physical intimacy) is beautiful and a key to a strong marriage.
1) Our Culture is a Cesspool (v. 3-4)
Ephesians 5:3–4 ESV
3 But sexual immorality and all impurity or covetousness must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints.
4 Let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, which are out of place, but instead let there be thanksgiving.
1) Our Culture is a Cesspool (v. 3-4)
Explanation: In the last 50 years or so the rapid change of the moral needle in society has created a difficult world for us to walk in our society. The move of sex from the beautiful confines of the marital bedroom into bathroom stalls of airplanes and one-night stands with first names only is unimaginable; but now normalized, accepted, and usually celebrated. Entertainment, advertising, academia, politics has pushed an agenda of about every kind of biblical perversion of sin—adultery, fornication, lust, homosexuality (and the rest of the LGBTQ+ movement), pornography, sex trafficking, child abuse, rape, and then some that I won’t mention.
Argumentation: Read the Song of Solomon, read Ezekiel 18, read 1 Corinthians for it’s prohibitions and it’s affirmations, we will see the beautiful culmination of marriage at the end of this very chapter
1 Peter 2:11 ESV
11 Beloved, I urge you as sojourners and exiles to abstain from the passions of the flesh, which wage war against your soul.
Romans 13:13–14 ESV
13 Let us walk properly as in the daytime, not in orgies and drunkenness, not in sexual immorality and sensuality, not in quarreling and jealousy.
14 But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to gratify its desires.
1 Timothy 6:9 ESV
9 But those who desire to be rich fall into temptation, into a snare, into many senseless and harmful desires that plunge people into ruin and destruction.
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Illustration: "So disappointing. Good reminder actors are not role models," former Bill Clinton staffer Claude Taylor remarked. Nor are politicians—at the SC prayer breakfast two weeks ago republican congresswoman Nancy Mace recounted her morning by telling of her live-in boyfriend she didn’t have time for sex because she had to make the prayer breakfast on time. Tom Ascol, the pastor of Grace Baptist Church in Florida, chided, "How thoughtful for @NancyMace to delay fornication so she could show up on time for @votetimscott's prayer breakfast. Reminds me of a line from that old song, "E'rybody talkin' 'bout heaven ain't going there."
Application: We now live in a culture that says, “if you desire it, go for it.” It has detached sex from marriage, and turned loose a Pandora's box of sin. Let me take the first half of this sermon and be a reminder in a culture of “freedom” that is actually bondage. Sexual pleasures are confined to a marriage relationship between one man and one woman. Any alteration of this is a twisting of God’s design, and will cause the planets in the solar systems in our lives to fly into chaos. It will affect every part of your lives. It is not a victimless crime even if you think that you are confining in to yourself. This planet of your life is a big one. Sexual encounters and desires touch the core of our being so closely, deeper than most aspects of life, that even after many years have passed, scars still remain or glory of long, exciting marriages reflect on the safety and sweetness of days and nights of satisfaction’s delights.
Now, let’s put it into perspective biblically, then practically with only one aspect of this corruption of God’s good gift. Last year Barna statistics put the usage of porn by Christian men only differs one percentage point from that of non-churchgoers, 64% vs 65% respectively. They studied average use, weekly, use, and daily. Another study was done four years ago among 30 college campuses with 1300 students, both male and female. All identified as Christians whose faith was important to them, all were involved in Christian ministry on campus. 89% if the men watched porn occasionally, 51% identified as “addicted.” If you think it is a man’s problem, of the women in this study, 51% of them watch porn occasionally, and 70% of them had either watched porn or had a “no-strings attached” hookup in the last 12 months. These are our Christian leaders.
This is only one aspect of the sexual immorality that Paul says shouldn’t be name among believers, but our culture promotes and celebrates. Let’s look at some practical affects. Sociology professor Samuel Perry researched the impact of pornography use on a group of 3,000 people over a six-year period of time. His peer-reviewed research shows that porn use wages war in at least three areas. This does not even count the physical aspects.
Spiritual - “Any porn use…is associated with declines in religious commitment and behavior (i.e. attending services, prayer, etc.) and an increase in religious doubts. So, think about it. If you wanted Christians to be less committed to praying, going to church and reading their Bible, and wanted them to doubt more, just get them to watch porn.”
Marital - Married couples with one spouse watching porn are two to three times more likely to divorce in the first two years of marriage than porn-free couples. One of the best predictors of divorce for a person is the depth of their porn habit. Porn use is also linked to adultery; there is a direct correlation between the two.
Kingdom Service - the more porn your church members consume, the less they serve in the congregation.
Let me warn you believers, porn is like an easy gateway drug to shipwreck your body, your soul, your marriage, and your relationship with the Bible, prayer, the church, with God. It will lead to other sins before, inside, outside marriage of various kinds that do unimaginable damage.
Guard your mind, douse it in scripture.
Guard your devices.
Guard your hearts as you pursue holiness and intimacy with Christ.
Men, pursue your wives.
Wives, pursue your husbands.
Single men and women pursue purity and celibacy and Christ. In fact, Christ is the only place where satisfaction is found.
Any desires or pleasures here on earth, when enjoyed properly are a window to the divine, but corrupted and idolized will leave you empty and hollow and unfulfilled. If the blazing Sun of Christ is not in the middle of your solar system, destruction will come.
However, that’s the lie that the culture espouses and teaches. It’s agenda comes through so many avenues. We must fight for our souls and the souls of our fellow believers, and our children. We are not called to change the world but to be beacons of light and ministers of reconciliation calling out to men and women to be saved. To do that with credibility we must fight valiantly, honestly, under the power of the Word and the Holy Spirit, and through the transforming power of the gospel.
If you have problems with porn, if you are in the midst of fornication, adultery, or homosexuality, please come to me or find someone. Don’t destroy your soul. Bring sin to the light. Let the church be a sanctuary of ministry to you, aiding your deliverance. There are ministries and resources available, and I can point you to the right ones. Your life may depend on it. Your soul does depend on it. Your marriage depends on it. The growth of our church depends on it. It starts with one step.
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Closing illustration: My prayer for this book, and for all of you one by one, is that you will see and savor the supremacy of Christ—married or single, male or female, old or young, devastated by disordered desires or walking in a measure of holiness—that all of you will behold and embrace the supremacy of Christ as the blazing sun at the center of your life, and that the planet of your sexuality, with all its little moons of pleasure, will orbit in its proper place.
There are many practical strategies for being sexually pure in mind and body. I don’t demean them. I use them! But with all my heart I know, and with the authority of Scripture I know, that the tiny spaceships of our moral strategies will be useless in nudging the planet of sexuality into orbit, unless the sun of our solar system is the supremacy of Christ.
So I challenge you this morning, take that step. I don’t care who you are. If you are a deacon. If you are an elder. If you teach or lead a ministry, God shows no partiality. In fact, our leaders should come to pray for the purity and holiness of our church, because statistically, it is here on a large scale. How many churches and pastors have been crushed under scandals involving immorality? If you are male or female. If you are young or not-so young. Step out, repent and believe the gospel.
Congregation, I command you now not to judge. People may come with images stuck in their minds from years ago. People may come because they wear sunglasses so their wife or husband won’t see those long stares at other women or men. People addicted to porn may come, or people who don’t want to be addicted. Satan is just around the corner for each of you waiting for a time of weakness to capture you in the net of sexual sin. No judging, rather than judge, pray. The bible has made the line of judgment, you and I are to fear and tremble at the sin that could ravage us and our church.
