“TRAIN UP A CHILD” Proverbs 22:6
FBCF – 6/2/24
Jon Daniels
INTRO – Sitting at railroad crossing years ago. Started noticing the graffiti. Some of it pretty impressive. Question: Why do people do that? Why do people go & spray paint their artwork on random railroad cars that will crisscross the country? I believe it’s b/c everyone wants to make their mark. And the truth is that everyone is going to make their mark. Everyone is going to make an impact w/ their lives.
Staying w/ the railroad analogy, at some point, this train is going to get to the end of the line & pull into the station. When that happens, your journey will be over & your legacy will be set. The time to work on legacy will be over. The time to make your mark will be done. The time to make an impact will be finished. That tells us that NOW is the time to ask:
- How will I leave my mark? Where will I leave my mark? What will my impact be?
- The place where you & I as parents need to be most concerned about our impact is in the lives of our children.
Listen to this story of 2 families:
JONATHAN EDWARDS – Puritan preacher in 1700’s. Very respected. July 8, 1741 – Preached famous powerful sermon “Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God” – It is said that during the message, people in congregation were so overcome by conviction that they were shrieking & moaning & crying out to God for forgiveness & salvation.
Married wife, Sarah, in 1727 – 11 children – Would spend an hour every night talking about spiritual things & praying blessings over each child.
150 yrs after he passed away, a researcher traced his descendants & this is what he found:
Jonathan Edwards’ legacy includes: 1 U.S. Vice-President, 1 Dean of a law school, 1 dean of a medical school, 3 U.S. Senators, 3 governors, 3 mayors, 13 college presidents, 30 judges, 60 doctors, 65 professors, 75 Military officers, 80 public office holders, 100 lawyers, 100 clergymen, and 285 college graduates.
MAX JUKES – Lived in NY about same time as Edwards. Didn’t believe in Christian training & married a girl who didn’t either. Juke’s legacy came to people’s attention when family trees of 42 different men in NY prison system were traced back to him. Researchers discovered this information:
Jukes’ descendants included: 7 murderers, 60 thieves, 190 prostitutes, 150 other convicts, 310 paupers, and 440 who were physically wrecked by addiction to alcohol. Of the 1,200 descendants that were studied, 300 died prematurely.
Some sociologists call this the “Five Generation Rule”: That the way you bring your children up affects not only them, but 4 generations after them.
This leads us to our Scripture for today:
EXPLANATION – Proverbs 22:6
Charles Spurgeon - “He who thinks it easy to bring up a family never had one of his own. A mother who trains her children aright had need be wiser than Solomon, for his son turned out a fool.” Spurgeon made a strong point. Solomon wrote Proverbs to prepare his own son to walk in the fear of the Lord.
- Proverbs 1:8 – “Hear, my son, your father’s instruction, & forsake not your mother’s teaching, for they are a graceful garland for your head & pendants for your neck.”
Surely, Solomon’s son heeded his father’s advice & counsel & lived by the wisdom that was poured into him. WRONG! 1 Kings 12 tells us otherwise. Solomon’s son, Rehoboam, rejected the wise counsel given to him by his father’s advisers, & the result was that the country was torn apart by a civil war. “Throughout all of his formative years, Rehoboam heard his father’s teaching on wisdom and the fear of the LORD, but as soon as his father was out of the picture, Rehoboam threw himself headfirst into folly and destruction.” (https://sermons.logos.com/sermons/553888-proverbs-22:6-is-%22train-up-your-child%22-a-promise)
Solomon certainly wasn’t alone in having a son totally ignore all of his upbringing. There are tons of Christian parents who have watched in horror as their grown children turn away from their Christian upbringing, abandoning the church & their faith. Some of you here today have experienced & are experiencing this heartbreak firsthand.
And part of the difficulty in seeing your child walk away from the Lord is that our verse today seems to promise the exact opposite. We read it & think, “If I had just done a better job, she wouldn’t have left the faith…Where did I go wrong?...I thought I was doing the right things…It’s my fault that he has decided to walk away from the Lord…”
- There are pastors everywhere – some nationally famous – whose children have abandoned the faith – pastors whose children have turned to homosexuality – pastors whose children have gotten addicted to drugs – had children out of wedlock
- Missionaries whose children have rejected their faith – who aren’t saved – who are not married but living w/ someone
So what DOES this verse teach us about being the parents that God has called us to be. We need to know!
- Some of you are in the beginning stages of parenting w/ little ones & you need to know what this verse means.
- Some of you are seeing your kids begin to make adult decisions about their faith, & they’re beginning to show signs that they’re leaving it behind – is this verse telling you it’s too late?
- Some of you have children who have completely walked away from the faith & your heart is broken – is this verse telling you it’s your fault for not “training them up” better?
APPLICATION – Our main responsibility as parents is to share & live out the Gospel with our kids.
A HEAVY REMINDER – A HEAVY reminder: You have a HUGE job as a parent! Proverbs 22:6 is the W of G! It is true – it is alive – it is active – it is God-breathed Scripture that is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting, & training in righteousness so that you may be fully equipped for every good work, including the work of being a parent.
“train up” – Be dedicated to your biblical responsibility as a parent – Heb lit means to rub palate of child w/ chewed dates or oil before it begins to suck. Hebrew midwives would do this to start up nursing instincts. Why would they do this?
- B/c it is absolutely essential to the life of that child.
- Child needs to have that nursing instinct instilled in them in order to get necessary nutrition to develop & grow.
- You simply would not NOT do this b/c your child’s life depends on it & your child’s life depends on YOU! And he/she depends on you to do your best – not to be the perfect parent, but to do your very best.
o To pray
o To stay in the Word
o To read books on parenting
o To talk to other parents
o To not give up when it gets really hard – diaper changes in middle of night – dealing w/ bullies at school – walking through puberty issues – helping them through their first broken heart – answering hard questions about life & faith
o To set an example of faith & godliness
A HUGE RED FLAG – Let’s be honest. Even if we don’t come right out & say it, we think that if we will teach our kids to bow their heads & fold their hands & pray, & read their Bibles, & go to SS & church & youth camp & mission trips, & get into a Christian college, then they won’t depart from the faith when they get out on their own.
Do all those things! Keep doing all those things! VBS starts tonight – make sure your child is here. I hope your teenager is going to youth camp next week & your child is going to CentriKid in July. I hope your teenager & you are going to participate in Serve Weekend later this month & your senior higher is going to Mission Arlington in July. I hope your child is here on Sunday mornings & Wed nights for kids’ choir & missions, & your teenager is here on Sundays for Life Groups & on Wed nights for CrossOver. We are so blessed w/ Cindy Sansing & Michael Nanney & you need to make sure your kids are here & plugged into their ministries – SO important!
But here’s the warning – the huge red flag: If you’re depending only on those things to feed your child w/ the spiritual food they need, you’re in big trouble. If you think that all the external activities will give them the Gospel foundation they need for life, you’re in big trouble.
The heart of the matter is their heart. If you’re just shaping their outward behavior, you’re not doing anything eternally worthwhile for them. This verse is not telling you that, if you do all the external things, your kid will turn out right. The original Heb text does not tell us the way a child “should go” – those words were not in the original Heb. This verse warns us about the way your child WILL go w/out the life-changing Gospel in their hearts.
- This verse is not telling you that a child raised to act like a Christian is guaranteed to be a Christian adult—this verse is telling you that your child needs to get saved! That if you leave your child to himself, you are guaranteed to raise a fool! If you let your child indulge her childish foolishness now—if you let her get “established” in her naturally foolish and rebellious habits, she will be a “dyed-in-the-wool” fool when she grows up! (https://sermons.logos.com/sermons/553888-proverbs-22:6-is-%22train-up-your-child%22-a-promise)
A HOPE-FILLED REASSURANCE – Not an absolute promise, but a reassurance that you are doing the right thing. Don’t give up, even when it looks like that nothing is happening. God is listening to your cries. He loves your child more than you do. He is working all things together for good (Romans 8:28).
