Introduction:
A. The story is told about an ancient philosopher named Xanthus who told his servant to go to the market and find the very best thing available to cook for a special dinner for his friends.
1. The philosopher and his guests sat down for the dinner and were treated to four courses of tongue.
a. After the dinner, the philosopher confronted his servant saying, “Didn’t I tell you to get the best thing at the market to serve for dinner?”
b. The servant defended himself saying, “I did get the best thing at the market. Isn’t the tongue the organ of sociability, the organ of eloquence, the organ of kindness, and the organ of worship?”
2. Then Xanthus said, “Well, tomorrow I want you to get the worst thing in the market for dinner.”
a. The next day the philosopher sat at the table and was again served four courses of tongue.
b. Again, the philosopher confronted his servant, “Didn’t I tell you to get the worst thing in the market?”
c. The servant defended himself, “I did; for isn’t the tongue the organ of blaspheme, the organ of defamation, and the organ of lying?” (Spiros Zodhiates, The Behavior of Belief)
B. So, which is it? Is the tongue the best thing or the worst thing? The answer is “yes” – it is both!
1. The tongue is just an instrument – a tool – like a hammer, or dynamite, or fire.
2. Are hammers and dynamite and fire good or bad? It depends on how you use them, right?
3. Each of them is a powerful instrument or tool that can be used for good or evil, and so is the tongue.
C. And that is what the Bible tries to tell us about the tongue – it can be used for good or evil.
1. Proverbs 18:21 says: Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit.
2. James 3:9-10 says: With the tongue we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in God’s likeness. Blessing and cursing come out of the same mouth. My brothers and sisters, these things should not be this way.
3. And so, this is the great challenge facing every human being – our tongues have the power of life and death, our tongues have the ability to bless and to curse, and our tongues have the ability to do much good and much evil.
4. One of the primary issues addressed in the book of Proverbs is: How we will use our tongues? a. Will we wisely use our tongues or will we use our tongues foolishly?
5. It is such an important and comprehensive subject that it is addressed 150 times in Proverbs.
D. What I would like to do in the next 2 sections of this sermon is to point out the Proverbs that discuss the right and wrong uses of our tongues.
1. Even though the right and wrong uses of the tongue may be obvious, there is still a need to be reminded about why the right use is so helpful and why the wrong use is so detrimental.
2. Then, in the final section of the sermon, I want to talk about strategies to help us be wise about the use of our tongues.
I. Wrong Uses of the Tongue
A. One wrong use of the tongue is lying.
1. Proverbs 12:22 says: Lying lips are detestable to the Lord, but faithful people are his delight.
2. Proverbs 6:16-19 mentions 7 things the Lord hates and two of them are a lying tongue and a false witness.
3. Proverbs 26:28a says: A lying tongue hates those it crushes…
4. These verses use strong words about how God feels about lying: He hates it and finds it detestable, and we learn what lying does to others: it crushes them and is an act of hatred.
5. When we lie, we pervert what is true, we lead others away from the truth, and we distance ourselves from the Lord who is the Truth.
6. Let’s keep in mind that lying has many forms, but all of them fall short of the truth, and people of God must be truthful.
B. Another wrong use of the tongue is for gossip.
1. Proverbs has a lot to say about gossip.
2. Proverbs 11:13 says: A gossip goes around revealing a secret, but a trustworthy person keeps a confidence.
3. Proverbs 16:28 says: A contrary person spreads conflict, and a gossip separates close friends.
4. Proverbs 17:9 says: Whoever conceals an offense promotes love, but whoever gossips about it separates friends.
5. Proverbs 18:8 says: A gossip’s words are like choice food that goes down to one’s innermost being.
6. That last proverb warns against the deceptive power and attraction of gossip.
a. There’s something compelling and often wickedly satisfying about hearing some juicy morsel of gossip.
7. What is gossip? Gossip includes things like repeating rumors, telling the secrets of others, and planting seeds of discontent.
8. Obviously, one of the issues regarding gossip is the truthfulness of the information – we should never be peddling information that isn’t true.
9. But even if the information is true, the bigger question is why am I passing on the information?
a. Should the information be shared? If so, why?
b. Am I breaking a confidence?
c. Am I trying to promote myself by showing that I possess the latest, juicy news?
d. Am I trying to lower others by putting them in a bad light, or am I trying to create more difficulty for them?
e. Sadly, Christians sometimes use the excuse of making a prayer request as an easy way to gossip, so be sure you have someone’s permission before making someone else’s news or needs into a prayer request.
C. Another wrong use of the tongue is flattery.
1. Proverbs 26:28b says: …and a flattering mouth causes ruin.
2. Proverbs 29:5 says: A person who flatters his neighbor spreads a net for his feet.
3. Proverbs 28:23 says: One who rebukes a person will later find more favor than one who flatters with his tongue.
4. What is flattery? It is defined as saying positive things about another person for the purpose of manipulating them.
5. There’s an old saying: “When someone slaps you on the back, they generally want you to cough up something.”
6. When one of your kids starts the conversation with super sweet gushing about how wonderful a parent you are, then you know you are about to be asked for money, permission, the car keys, or they’re about to tell you they messed up in some way.
7. Flattery and compliments are not the same thing – a sincere complement seeks to build up the other person and express appreciation for who they are or what they have done.
8. Flattery is always manipulative and designed not to benefit them, but to benefit you.
D. We could mention several other wrong uses of the tongue, but let me give one more – quarreling.
1. Proverbs 18:19 says: An offended brother is harder to reach than a fortified city, and quarrels are like the bars of a fortress.
2. Proverbs 20:3 says: Honor belongs to the person who ends a dispute, but any fool can get himself into a quarrel.
3. Proverbs 26:21 says: As charcoal for embers and wood for fire, so is a quarrelsome person for kindling strife.
4. We certainly can’t avoid all conflict and there is a need to talk out our differences, but we must avoid becoming a quarrelsome person.
5. Proverbs encourages us to be the kind of person who tries to bring disputes to an end, because getting into quarrels is easy and any fool can do that.
6. Once we have offended someone in a quarrel, it can be hard to repair the damage that has been done.
7. Wisdom tells us that words can either help put a fire out or words can cause it to explode like pouring on gasoline.
E. Let me put in one word of caution about all these wrong uses of the “tongue” with regard to the use of words on social media.
1. Social media has some good purposes and uses, but it so easy for it to be used in negative ways.
2. Cyber-bullying among children and teens has become a major problem in our society and our children need to be protected from its harmful effects.
3. But adults can also be drawn into the destructive use of words on the internet.
4. I pray that all of us will apply God’s wisdom and allow God’s Spirit to keep us from engaging in gossip, slander, lying and quarreling online.
II. Right Uses of the Tongue
A. The tongue may be used for wise counsel and sound advice.
1. Proverbs 10:31a says: The mouth of the righteous produces wisdom…
2. Proverbs 15:7a says: The lips of the wise broadcast knowledge…
3. Proverbs 25:11 says: A word spoken at the right time is like gold apples in silver settings.
4. How wonderful it is that we can use our tongues to share the things we have learned and how helpful our words can be to others at just the right time!
B. Similarly, the tongue may be used to give encouragement.
1. Proverbs 12:25 says: Anxiety in a person’s heart weighs it down, but a good word cheers it up.
2. Proverbs 16:24 says: Pleasant words are a honeycomb: sweet to the taste and health to the body.
3. Encouraging words can be so helpful when someone is feeling defeated or intimidated by life, and our comforting words can uplift someone who is going through grief.
4. These encouraging words lead to health, both mental health and physical health.
C. Another good use of the tongue is for reproof or rebuke.
1. Proverbs 15:31-32 says: One who listens to life-giving rebukes will be at home among the wise. Anyone who ignores discipline despises himself, but whoever listens to correction acquires good sense.
2. Proverbs 27:6 says: The wounds of a friend are trustworthy, but the kisses of an enemy are excessive.
3. Like with all communication, when giving a rebuke, we need to employ wisdom in the choosing of our words and we must deliver them in a timely manner – the right time and place.
4. And our words must be humbly and lovingly delivered and must be humbly received.
D. One of the very best uses of our tongue is in prayer, worship and the sharing of the Gospel.
1. Proverbs 15:8 says: The sacrifice of the wicked is detestable to the Lord, but the prayer of the upright is his delight.
2. Proverbs 11:30 says: The fruit of the righteous is a tree of life, And he who wins souls is wise. (NKJV)
3. How good and right it is when we use our tongues to sing God’s praises, and talk with God in prayer, and when we give our testimony and tell others the good news of Jesus.
4. I hope we all will use our tongues regularly and liberally in these good ways, both in-person and online.
III. Controlling the Tongue
A. It’s one thing to know the right and wrong uses of the tongue, and it’s another thing to know how to control and direct the tongue.
1. In reality, it is such a difficult thing to do that James says: Every kind of animal, bird, reptile, and fish is tamed and has been tamed by humankind, but no one can tame the tongue. (James 3:7-8)
2. Surely, no person can tame the tongue without the power of God working in their life.
3. If God commands us to control the tongue, then God will also give us the power to do it.
4. So, what practical steps can we take to help us control out tongue?
B. First, let’s ask for God’s help.
1. Psalm 141:3 says: Lord, set up a guard for my mouth; keep watch at the door of my lips.
2. That’s certainly a prayer that God will answer! Don’t you think?
3. When we admit we need God’s help and when we look to God for help, then we are headed in the right direction.
C. A second important way to control the tongue is to speak less.
1. Proverbs 10:19 says: When there are many words, sin is unavoidable, but the one who controls his lips is prudent.
a. The more we talk, the more there is a chance that we will say the wrong thing.
2. Proverbs 13:3 says: The one who guards his mouth protects his life; the one who opens his lips invites his own ruin.
a. Proverbs 17:27 says: A man of knowledge uses words with restraint.
b. Both those verses encourage restraint and the guarding of our words.
c. Less can be more.
d. The Greek philosopher Pythagoras once remarked, “Be silent or let thy words be worth more than silence.”
3. And here’s one more good reason to speak less: Even a fool is considered wise when he keeps silent—discerning, when he seals his lips. (Proverbs 17:28)
a. There is a similar modern proverb that says: “Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.”
4. A good bit of the battle with our tongues will be won if we will just speak less and listen more.
D. A third important way to control our tongue is to speak more slowly.
1. James 1:19 says: Be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger.
a. Unfortunately, we get it all backwards, we are often quick to anger and quick to speak, but slow to listen – that’s what gets us into so much trouble and heartache!
2. Proverbs 21:23 says: The one who guards his mouth and tongue keeps himself out of trouble.
3. Proverbs 18:13 says: The one who gives an answer before he listens—this is foolishness and disgrace for him.
4. Just as we should “look before we leap,” we should “listen before we speak.”
5. The old adage about counting to 10 before saying anything isn’t found in Proverbs, but it would fit well there.
6. Giving ourselves a moment to think over how to respond and what to say will keep us from saying something we will later regret.
7. One of the bad things about our present electronic age is that we can type a quick text or email and press “send” before we really take time to think through what we are saying.
8. Being quick to listen and slow to speak will serve us very well.
9. It will cause us to be less hasty and allow time to hear the whispers of the Holy Spirit, giving time and space for God to work.
10. Sometimes silence isn’t just golden, its godly and life-preserving.
E. Finally, we can control our tongues by speaking only words from God.
1. Proverbs 16:1 says: The reflections of the heart belong to mankind, but the answer of the tongue is from the Lord.
2. Ephesians 4:29 says: Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. (NIV)
3. How wonderful it would be if we only allowed words to come out of our mouths that are in line with God’s will and God’s Word!
4. How wonderful if we only spoke wholesome and helpful things that would build up and benefit others!
5. This should be the goal and intention of every wise person.
6. One of the verses of the old hymn “Take My Life and Let It Be” is “take my lips and let them be filled with messages for Thee” – what an important prayer!
Conclusion:
A. There is no question that the gift of speech is a wonderful blessing from God and when we are wise about the use of our tongue, then it is even a greater blessing.
1. I pray that all of us will use the tool of our tongue for much good and for no evil.
2. Let me share this poem that describes how the tongue can harm and can help:
A careless word may kindle strife;
A cruel word may wreck a life;
A bitter word may hate instill;
A brutal word a smile may kill;
A gracious word may smooth the way;
A joyous word may light the day;
A timely word may lessen stress;
A loving word may heal and bless.
B. Words are powerful. Words matter. In fact, words can have eternal consequences.
1. Jesus said: “A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in him, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in him. But I tell you that everyone will have to give account on the day of judgment for every empty word they have spoken. For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned.” (Mt. 12:35-37)
C. Let’s end with prayer:
1. Father, forgive us for all the empty and evil words we have spoken and help us use our tongues more wisely.
2. Father, many of us have made the good confession of faith in Jesus and we are trusting in the grace that you have lavishly poured out on us through Jesus.
3. But Father, there are others here today who have never made the good confession and have not been baptized into Christ, we pray that you will draw them today and convict them of their need for You.
4. Help them to realize that they are lost and need a Savior.
5. Help them to know how wonderful it is to be a child of God, having the peace, power and purpose of Christ.
Resources:
• Don’t Be Dumb! The Wisdom of Proverbs for Today, by James T. (Tommy) South
• Wise Speaking, Bruce Goettsche, SermonCentral.com
• The Tongue: Life and Death are in Your Mouth, Sermon by Ray Pritchard
