Meditations on Marriage
“He who finds a wife finds a good thing
and obtains favor from the Lord.”
[Proverbs 18:22]
What a grand pronouncement from the Word of the Living God. Obviously, the rules of hermeneutics would allow us to conclude that in the same way, the woman who finds a husband finds a good thing. Indeed, we are taught that husbands are to love their wives “as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her” [see Ephesians 5:25]. And by the same Word of the Lord, wives are to respect their husbands [see Ephesians 5:33].
Klaus and Bethany believe that they did not meet by accident. Each would say that God has led them, enabling them to find joy and contentment in each other. Both Bethany and Klaus were married before, and each enjoyed a long and joyous marriage with one who fulfilled their life and blessed them with great joy. Unfortunately, both Bethany and Klaus were widowed, their spouse dying. Marilyn was a wonderful wife to Klaus, and Roy was a wonderful husband to Bethany. The blessing each enjoyed from their life shared with their spouse created a willingness to share their life with another should God make such sharing possible. And God has brought Klaus and Bethany together, giving to each a desire to share their lives with one another according to God’s goodness.
God has given His blessing to marriage for those who are widowed. We read the words of the Apostle as he writes, “A married woman is bound by law to her husband while he lives, but if her husband dies she is released from the law of marriage. Accordingly, she will be called an adulteress if she lives with another man while her husband is alive. But if her husband dies, she is free from that law, and if she marries another man she is not an adulteress” [Romans 7:2-3]. Surely, that statement is clearly understood by everyone.
Some cultures, even some sub-cultures among the faithful, would attempt to create strictures that proscribe marriage following the death of a spouse. But such attempts are foreign to the Word of God, for the Lord blesses marriage just as written elsewhere when we read, “A wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord” [1 Corinthians 7:39].
Of course, the truths that are given apply to a man, and not to women only. But how long should one wait until they marry again? Again, some imagine that they can create strictures dictating the length of time one should wait. However, they find scant comfort in the Word of God for setting such limits. David took Abigail as wife almost immediately upon her widowhood [see 1 Samuel 25:37-42], and it is apparent that the marriage enjoyed God’s blessing. Let’s admit that rather than displaying grace and awareness of what is written in the Word, our biases often dictate our approval of the choices others make. I invite all of us to bless the marriage of Klaus and Bethany, rejoicing in the grace of our God demonstrated in this union now blessed by our God.
Well, let’s talk about marriage. How did this start? Why does it matter? These are questions that need to be asked and answered in this day. Marriage was instituted by God Himself when He created the first woman for the man He had created. Having pronounced His creation good, the Lord made a startling observation that it was not good for the man to be alone. He created from the man’s side a woman, who was designed to be a companion who corresponded to him. She would make the man complete, lending her strength where the man was weaker and being strengthened by the man where she was weaker. Together, they would be given dominion over the creation that God had made.
Apparently, the woman God made met with man’s approval, for when the man saw her, he exclaimed,
“This at last is bone of my bones
and flesh of my flesh;
she shall be called Woman,
because she was taken out of Man.”
[Genesis 2:23]
It has been well stated that God did not take the woman from man’s feet so that he would not step on her. He did not take the woman from man’s head so that she would not attempt to rule over him. God took her from the man’s side so that he would embrace her, protecting her and sharing his life with her as co-regents over creation.
In a practical sense, this accounts for the instruction given when the Apostle writes, “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.
Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’ This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband” [Ephesians 5:22-33].
Both man and woman have distinct, complementary roles as they live together as husband and wife. The man’s life is made complete as he serves the Lord with his wife, and the woman’s life is made complete as she serves the Lord together with her husband. Each is essential to the welfare of the other; each is vital to the joyous service before the Lord who gives them life.
Long years past, the Qoheleth observed, “Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken” [Ecclesiastes 4:9-12].
Thus, we might observe that marriage is not a fifty-fifty proposition. Marriage requires one hundred percent from each member of the divine union. But in giving so generously, the return is far greater than one could ever imagine, for, after all, as already established,
“He who finds a wife finds a good thing
and obtains favor from the Lord.”
[Proverbs 18:22]
And in the same way, she who finds a husband finds what is good.
Did you hear that glorious note that marriage is intended to mirror the love of Christ for His church? This is not some ritualistic, religious prattle; it is a statement that is forgotten in our day. Jesus, the Son of God died, taking upon Himself the sin of all mankind. The Good News is that He did not stay dead. He rose from the dead, conquering death, hell, and the grave. No one who has faith in this Risen Lord need ever again live in fear. In Christ, we who believe are set free from fear and adopted into God’s Family.
And what of you who listen at this time? Do you have faith in the Son of God? Have you received the gift of life He promises? God Himself promises, “If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For with the heart one believes and is justified, and with the mouth one confesses and is saved” [Romans 10:9-10].
You can give no greater gift to Klaus and Bethany than the knowledge that you have faith in Jesus, the Son of God. And I am asking you to reflect on this truth. Will you receive the gift of life as promised by God. He invites each one, saying, “Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved, you and your household” [Acts 16:31]. In the quietness of the moment, ask the Son of God to accept you as one who follows Him? Do it now. Amen.
