We explore making stronger relationships in all kinds of people groups.
First half of series – defining
Our Identity – who are you?
Defining relationships – The roles of those in the relationship – knowing strengths and weaknesses.
(on YouTube)
Second half of series: what relationships should be.
Behavior
Biblical principles
What makes for a good relationship?
When it comes to relationships, cementing the bond is crucial.
So today we ask: What holds a relationship together?
What cements and strengthens our relationships?
We will look at three “concrete” things today that will build good relationships.
Are you ready?
Today, we reflect on a passage in the bible that speaks volumes about the bonds (the cement) that hold relationships together.
So will you have open the book of Ruth, specifically Ruth 1:8-18.
In this, we witness a touching moment between Naomi and her daughters-in-law after the death of Naomi’s sons, their husbands.
Naomi, in her deep sorrow, urges her daughter-in-laws, Orpah and Ruth to return to their mother’s home.
She blesses them, hoping they find new husbands and have a good life once more.
Yet, in this moment of parting, we see the true strength of this relationship bond between Ruth and Naomi.
Orpah, though tearful, heeds Naomi’s advice and departs.
But Ruth clings to Naomi, uttering words of profound loyalty:
“Do not urge me to leave you or to turn back from you.
• Where you go, I will go, and
• where you stay, I will stay.
• Your people will be my people and your God, my God” 1.
Ruth’s declaration reveals the cement of relationships.
What then is this cement that binds a relationship?
I offer you three bags of cement today.
SELFLESSNESS
Ruth’s loyalty begins during a time of famine and loss.
Naomi’s family crumbles in tragedy:
Her husband, Elimelech dies, leaving Naomi with her two sons, Mahlon and Chilion.
The sons marry Moabite women, Ruth and Orpah.
But tragedy strikes again as both sons die,
leaving Naomi without her husband and sons (Ruth 1:1-5).
Naomi says to her daughter in laws – “go back to your people. You have time to find new husbands so you will live a happy life”.
Orpah goes for it.
But Ruth! - Ruth cannot think of leaving.
She totally loves Naomi, and shows a great deal of selflessness in this relationship.
Again, Love is shown in actions.
First Naomi showed it by telling the only family she had left to leave – for their own good.
Secondly, Ruth had too strong a bond to leave Naomi.
She was showing selfless sacrifice.
A true relationship involves the cement of SELFLESSNESS - putting others’ needs above our own.
The truth is: If a relationship is more about you, then you aren’t using the right cement!
Want to see growth and success in a relationship?
Then we all need to use the cement of selflessness.
By Ruth making the choice to stay, she was not only thinking of herself, but also Naomi.
She greatly valued this relationship, and gave of herself to strengthen the relationship.
Being in a land that she didn’t call home, and with no income or food, Ruth’s pledge to Naomi is astounding:
“Where you go, I will go; where you lodge, I will lodge.”
Her loyalty outdoes cultural boundaries and personal hardship.
Ruth’s commitment reflects God’s faithfulness to us.
I use similar words at the end of every service.
The Lord has PROMISED: I will go with you – wherever!”
This flows on to the next bag of the cement:
COMMITMENT
Ruth's loyalty to Naomi is amazing!
She was committing to stay with her – no matter what.
Having come from a people who didn’t fear God, Ruth even makes a commitment to the Lord.
This relationship has a big bag of cement called “Commitment”.
Good relationships are built by people who are committed to each other.
Last week I said how people drop “friends” at the click of button.
Real, deep, strong relationships have the cement of UNSELFISHNESS AND COMMITMENT.
Commitment involves effort -
Working together on the long term to build something strong.
The relationship is then prioritized
Commitment is the bedrock of strong, lasting relationships.
It's more than just staying together;
it's about actively choosing people and putting in the effort to nurture the bond you share.
Here's why commitment matters:
It brings Stability and Security:
it fosters a sense of safety and trust.
Knowing you are all in it for the long haul, allows you to relax and be vulnerable, creating a deeper connection.
Growth:
Through commitment, you create a space to grow together, which also means finding strength in the bond formed over time.
Commitment ensures you work THROUGH problems together, rather than walking away from them.
Yes, there’s always going to be periods of problems, conflict etc.
Commitment will be the cement to holds that relationship together in those tough times.
“We can work this through together”
Remember, commitment is a continuous process, not a one-time event.
It requires
? consistent effort,
? open communication, and
? a willingness to nurture your love.
Third bag of cement in a relationship?
SHARED VALUES
Shared values play a crucial role in fostering healthy, long-term relationships.
When people in a relationship hold similar core values, their alignment benefits the partnership in several ways:
“Singing from the same hymn sheet”
Imagine being in a relationship where
one likes to save money and budget carefully; but the others just enjoy spending any money they have and living for the moment.
Imagine being in a relationship where
one sets achievement goals. “I want us to have done this by next year, been there by 2026, and got that by Christmas” with
the others just enjoying where life takes them, or wants to see how God leads.
Imagine being in a relationship where
one is Generous and LOVES to give to others and not hold back on sharing with charities or family or people in need; with
the others have the mindset, “I earned this money, and I’m going to use it on me”
Imagine being in a relationship where one puts God first, holds to core biblical values and serves in the church,
and the others in the relationship curse, lie and share no vision of heaven.
Shared values is a bag of cement that makes relationships strong.
Working together towards a shared vision, respecting each other's opinions, and upholding common principles bind together.
Of course, we are sometimes in relationships where not all the cement is used.
I’m not saying that relationships don’t work unless you use all these bags, and more.
But in a series on relationships, I’m giving biblical teaching on what strengthens the bonds in families, marriages, teams, churches.
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For a few moments this morning, I want to talk about a relationship that has all the above and more:
The relationship with Jesus Christ.
Those in a strong relationship with Jesus will know that cement of
Selflessness.
Philippians 2:3-4 (ESV):
“Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.”
And on Jesus’ side:
Matthew 20:28 (ESV):
“Even as the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”
Jesus’ sacrificial service and ultimate act of selflessness on the cross demonstrate His love for humanity.
And we take our lead in selflessness from the One we love.
I would encourage you to
Cultivate Selflessness:
Reflect on Christ’s Example: Consider Jesus’ selfless life and His sacrifice on the cross.
Let’s build into our lives ways to Show kindness, compassion, and generosity.
Let’s look for opportunities to serve without expecting anything in return, and giving generously without expecting repayment.
In our relationship with Jesus, we Cultivate Commitment, by reflecting on His example.
His sacrificial love and steadfast dedication to bringing God’s kingdom to Earth was unwavering.
His commitment to you and me was astounding!
Romans 5:8 tells us that “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. ”That’s commitment to the relationship with us!
Jesus challenged His followers to deny themselves, take up their crosses, and follow Him. To fully COMMIT to the relationship.
And Christ’s commitment extends beyond His sacrifice.
He continues now to intercede for us, serve as our High Priest, and offer eternal life.
In summary, Jesus’ commitment to humanity is unparalleled— a selfless act of love that inspires us to trust and follow Him wholeheartedly.
Also Christ has core values that we can share in to strengthen our relationship with Him.
What are they?
Life: Jesus valued life.
He preserved life and restored it when people were in need.
He said that He had come to offer LIFE IN ALL IT’S FULLNESS.
In our relationship with Christ, we are to value life and live it to the full, and encourage others to cherish it.
Love: Jesus was motivated by love.
He freely gave love to others and lived out His life pouring out love to ALL He met with.
Again and again, we are instructed by the Lord and in scripture to
love God,
Love ourselves, and
love others like ourselves.
God’s Kingdom:
Jesus' words and actions reflected his deep value and dedication to the Kingdom of God,
showing its transformational power and eternal significance in the lives of believers.
Jesus valued the Kingdom of God by
teaching about it,
demonstrating its power and authority and
actively participating in its establishment.
His life and ministry were centred around holding up God’s kingdom and reign.
Our relationship with Jesus Christ should also show up this core value in our lives.
Three bags of cement to hold together relationships:
Selflessness
Commitment
Shared values
This week – think about where you are in your relationships, and how much cement is being used to bond those relationships together!
Prayer:
“Dear Heavenly Father, help us, by Your Spirit to develop in our relationships
Selflessness, Commitment, and a real sense of shared values
That will be the cement that strengthens our relationships with those we live with, and with you.
