At the end of our series on Resurrection Hope I spoke about unity.
That each one of us, although very different from each other, can be united in our focus.
In fact, unity is not about sameness,
but a sense of focusing on a goal, a purpose.
If you weren’t here for that series, it’s on YouTube with its own playlist
Indeed, I that message I also referred to the bible passage in Paul’s letter to Corinthians that says, like in a body, each of us are different parts of a whole.
Our unique characteristics work together in unity to function as a complete body.
Today we begin a new series that follows on from that theme.
You see, our Creator designed us to function as a “body”, as a community, in relationship with others.
When Jesus was asked about the most important commandment, He emphasized our relationship with God the Father.
But He also pointedly indicated that our relationship with our fellow human beings is a close second.
It’s safe to say that relationships lie at the core of Christian living.
In this series, the word relationship will be broad.
However, it can be applied to specifics.
So I’m not only talking about a couple getting married, or a church family, or a team in a workplace.
But you will recognize that much of what I say CAN apply to all these relationships and more.
The title for today’s message is “identity”.
Why?
Because knowing who we are is very important in a relationship.
If we are to relate to others, we must know our identity – who we are, for at least two reasons:
1. So we know what we can bring to the relationship (marriage, Team, church).
2. So we don’t lose our identity as we get deeper into the relationship
Honestly – we seldom do this.
We don’t think about who we are in a relationship.
And by the time we do – it can be too late.
Understanding our identity before diving into relationships offers several benefits:
• Self-awareness:
By reflecting on our likes, dislikes, values, and motivations, we gain a clearer picture of who we are.
This self-awareness helps us navigate relationships with authenticity and purpose.
• Healthy boundaries: A strong sense of self allows you to set healthy boundaries. You'll understand your needs and limitations better, enabling you to communicate them effectively and avoid situations that compromise your well-being.
Example?
US! Highfield and Pastor.
Someone asked Allie the other day why we are still at Highfield Community.
I think the answer is, that we started our relationship 25 years ago with an understanding of our identity.
Having had a difficult ministry before hand, and Highfield having a difficult past, we both had worked out our identity.
We entered into this relationship – slowly, as we
? identified who we are, and
? what we were expecting.
Ok, so – today we are looking at Identity at the beginning of this series on relationships.
Today we are looking at the foundations of relationships:
And we do it by looking Genesis 2
In that passage, we see the
Relationship with Creator
Relationship with humans
In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth, forming a perfect and harmonious world.
I’d encourage you this week to do your own study of Genesis 1 and 2 with the theme of “Relationships” in mind.
As we reflect on the creation story in Genesis, we can draw valuable lessons about relationships and how we can nurture them in our lives today.
In the story of Genesis, we see the identity of those involved clearly defined.
The problem in this event comes when the identity of each person is lost.
God – Creator
By nature He has ultimate authority.
He made everything – including us humans.
So, what He says, goes.
“Enjoy the garden
Enjoy life
Just don’t eat the fruit from ONE TREE!”
He said that to ensure that we have choice.
God has authority, but He is not an authoritarian.
He gave choice,
and He clearly labelled the consequences to making the wrong choice.
God’s identity is very clear right?
Humans – Created.
We are soo loved by the Creator!
He GAVE so much –
? it was good,
? it was beautiful,
? it was for human benefit.
Although God wanted a good relationship with humans, He recognised that being a single human in a big beautiful garden creates loneliness.
“That’s not good” said God.
“Let’s make more humans.”
So – there is a relationship with clear identity:
A Loving Creator with authority who wants the best.
Good creation who is under God,
but now has an equal to relate to.
The relationship is pretty clear.
It is designed to work well.
All good? All good!
Enter another character . . . . the serpent.
He comes with the purpose of breaking up the relationship.
Incidentally, he still has that purpose!!!
And this is HOW he does it:
He casts doubt.
“Did God really say….” Doubt
The serpent (enemy) wants to upset the relationship identity. He casts doubt on Who’s who.
Listening to the serpent, they take the fruit and, at that point – they lose their identity in that relationship.
Who is in authority now?
There is confusion
There’s God
Human
Serpent? (It seems Adam and Eve didn’t even question the identity of the serpent)
But, look - Once the identity is lost, it gets very messy!!
That’s true of every relationship.
We need to be clear of identity – ours, and the other people involved in the relationship we are getting into.
So, knowing your identity, in a relationship of any kind, helps us look for complimentary people (not – “You look nice”).
What I mean is, when you know who you are, you can look to be with people who appreciate and respect you for your true self.
Again – we aren’t looking for people the same as us.
We are looking for people who are different, yet accept our differences, rather than want to change us.
We can see how that will compliment who we are.
I know this sounds a bit formal, but it’s not really.
Relationships are important – they can make or break us.
We really need to have on our radar questions like:
• What is the aim of this relationship/partnership?
• How will my unique identity fit in and even enhance the relationship?
Because, here’s the thing.
If you believe your identity might get lost, then tread cautiously.
Another thing about knowing our identity:
It translates into better communication.
When we can express our
? needs and
? desires and
? character,
we form stronger and more fulfilling relationships.
Ultimately, understanding our identity empowers us to build relationships based on authenticity and respect for both yourself and others.
So many start a relationship – romantic, team, company and cover up who they are.
Months pass, and the true “you” starts to surface.
As it does, it becomes evident that this relationship is not a good match.
THEN it gets Messy, right?
Hopefully, you can see that understanding our identity and being able to convey it to others saves a whole lot of mess later.
Understanding our identity before developing relationships with others is so important for several reasons:
• Self-awareness:
Knowing ourselves (our identity) help us understand our strengths,
Our weaknesses,
Our values, and
Our beliefs.
With those things clearly understood, we can
? communicate effectively,
? set boundaries, and
? express our needs in relationships.
Healthy boundaries are good to set.
It helps prevent resentment, and misunderstandings,
And leads to healthier and more fulfilling connections with others.
Understanding our identity also makes us more Authentic.
Being true to ourselves is essential in building genuine and meaningful relationships.
When we know who we are, and live authentically, others see and appreciate us for who we truly are.
Understanding our identity also helps us
Avoiding toxic relationships:
Knowing ourselves helps us recognize red flags in relationships.
When we understand our identity, we are less likely to settle for unhealthy relationships that compromise our well-being.
So you see, understanding who we are before developing relationships with others lays a strong foundation for healthy, authentic, and fulfilling connections.
It empowers us to engage in relationships from a place of
? self-awareness, and
? self-respect, and
which translates into enhancing the quality of our interactions with others and our overall well-being.
Closing Thoughts:
It is very possible to cultivate meaningful and fulfilling relationships.
It starts with
- knowing our own identity –
With God
With ourselves, and
With others.
- and how we fit into relationships with others.
This week:
Stop and investigate yourself.
Your character
Your strengths
Your weaknesses
Your likes and dislikes.
Your understanding of who God is.
Hopefully you are seeing how important this is
It’s worth the time and energy to be clear about your identity.
Let us work hard to strengthen our relationships with
God,
ourselves,
and those around us.
