A. Once there was a preacher who was explaining to his son about the “facts of life” or better known as “the birds and the bees.”
1. The youngster listened wide-eyed and attentively, and when his dad was finished, he asked with great concern: “Does God know about this?”
2. Rest assured: God knows all about this – He designed and created sex – and His rules and guidelines about sex have our best interests at heart.
B. The book of Proverbs contains four primary texts that provide wisdom and warnings about sexual matters.
1. Taken together, this is the longest and most extensive teaching on sexual morality found in all the pages of God’s Word.
2. On the one hand, it is not surprising that Solomon would devote so much attention to being wise about sex because he had 700 wives and 300 concubines.
3. But on the other hand, it seems ironic that it doesn’t look like he followed his own advice, but maybe what happened is that later in life he saw the error of his ways in this matter and was trying to keep others from taking the wrong path that he had taken.
4. Nevertheless, in spite of Solomon’s own failures in this area, his teachings are still valid and anyone who puts them into practice is wise.
C. Because Solomon was writing to his son, he cautioned his son about the sexual temptations and traps that “adulteresses” and “prostitutes” would put before him.
1. Had Solomon been writing to his daughter, he would have cautioned her about the sexual temptations and traps that “adulterers” or “gigolos” would put before her.
2. These principles and warnings are helpful for those who are single and for those who are married, and they apply to all kinds of sexual immorality, including pre-marital sex and extra-marital sex.
D. I want to present Solomon’s writings as a whole so that we can feel the impact of them in general, and then I want us to go back and pull out the helpful specific principles and warnings.
1. I will be reading several long sections of Proverbs, but God’s Word is so powerful and I hope we will all be inspired and challenged by God’s Word.
E. Solomon first introduced the subject of sex in Proverbs 2:16-19: 16 It [wisdom] will rescue you from a forbidden woman, from a wayward woman with her flattering talk, 17 who abandons the companion of her youth and forgets the covenant of her God; 18 for her house sinks down to death and her ways to the land of the departed spirits. 19 None return who go to her; none reach the paths of life.
1. Let’s briefly notice a few things that Solomon points out.
2. First, the enticer will use flattering talk (we will notice that this comes up often in these readings) – most of us like having our ego stroked.
3. Second, the enticer doesn’t care about their previous commitments to spouse or to God.
4. Third, the results of that path of sin only leads to death and destruction (We will notice that this will be repeated in many of the readings).
F. Next, Solomon devoted all of chapter 5 to the subject of sex: 1 My son, pay attention to my wisdom; listen closely to my understanding 2 so that you may maintain discretion and your lips safeguard knowledge.
3 Though the lips of the forbidden woman drip honey and her words are smoother than oil, 4 in the end she’s as bitter as wormwood and as sharp as a double-edged sword.
5 Her feet go down to death; her steps head straight for Sheol. 6 She doesn’t consider the path of life; she doesn’t know that her ways are unstable.
7 So now, sons, listen to me, and don’t turn away from the words from my mouth. 8 Keep your way far from her. Don’t go near the door of her house.
9 Otherwise, you will give up your vitality to others and your years to someone cruel; 10 strangers will drain your resources, and your hard-earned pay will end up in a foreigner’s house.
11 At the end of your life, you will lament when your physical body has been consumed, 12 and you will say, “How I hated discipline, and how my heart despised correction. 13 I didn’t obey my teachers or listen closely to my instructors. 14 I am on the verge of complete ruin before the entire community.”
1. Let’s again briefly notice a few things.
2. First, we notice again that the enticer uses words that are smooth and sound sweet.
3. Second, the results of that path of sin only leads to death and destruction.
4. Third, Solomon lists the things that get lost on the path of sexual indulgence.
a. A person loses their strength, their wealth, their health, and their reputation.
5. We will come back and finish chapter 5 in a few minutes and see what Solomon offers as a positive and helpful alternative to the path of sexual immorality.
G. In the very next chapter (6), Solomon returns to the subject of sex; perhaps he was afraid his foolish youthful son wasn’t listening: 20 My son, keep your father’s command, and don’t reject your mother’s teaching. 21 Always bind them to your heart; tie them around your neck. 22 When you walk here and there, they will guide you; when you lie down, they will watch over you; when you wake up, they will talk to you. 23 For a command is a lamp, teaching is a light, and corrective discipline is the way to life.
24 They will protect you from an evil woman, from the flattering tongue of a wayward woman. 25 Don’t lust in your heart for her beauty or let her captivate you with her eyelashes. 26 For a prostitute’s fee is only a loaf of bread, but the wife of another man goes after a precious life.
27 Can a man embrace fire and his clothes not be burned? 28 Can a man walk on burning coals without scorching his feet? 29 So it is with the one who sleeps with another man’s wife; no one who touches her will go unpunished.
30 People don’t despise the thief if he steals to satisfy himself when he is hungry. 31 Still, if caught, he must pay seven times as much; he must give up all the wealth in his house.
32 The one who commits adultery lacks sense; whoever does so destroys himself. 33 He will get a beating and dishonor, and his disgrace will never be removed. 34 For jealousy enrages a husband, and he will show no mercy when he takes revenge. 35 He will not be appeased by anything or be persuaded by lavish bribes. (Pr. 6:20-35)
1. We notice that Solomon began with four verses of admonition for the young man to pay attention and to not forget these teachings.
2. Next, Solomon warns about being enticed by the flattering tongue, by the batting eyelashes, and by her beauty.
3. Next, Solomon points out the obvious: if you play with fire, you will get burned, and if you mess with another man’s wife, it might get you killed – don’t be tomorrow’s headline news!
4. Ultimately, Solomon reminds us that if the adulterer doesn’t end up dead, their reputation will be destroyed and their dishonor and disgrace will never be removed.
H. Can you guess what subject the next chapter (7) is devoted to? Yup, another chapter devoted to warning about sexual immorality: 1 My son, obey my words, and treasure my commands. 2 Keep my commands and live, and guard my instructions as you would the pupil of your eye. 3 Tie them to your fingers; write them on the tablet of your heart. 4 Say to wisdom, “You are my sister,” and call understanding your relative. 5 She will keep you from a forbidden woman, a wayward woman with her flattering talk.
6 At the window of my house I looked through my lattice. 7 I saw among the inexperienced, I noticed among the youths, a young man lacking sense. 8 Crossing the street near her corner, he strolled down the road to her house 9 at twilight, in the evening, in the dark of the night.
10 A woman came to meet him dressed like a prostitute, having a hidden agenda. 11 She is loud and defiant; her feet do not stay at home. 12 Now in the street, now in the squares, she lurks at every corner. 13 She grabs him and kisses him; she brazenly says to him, 14 “I’ve made fellowship offerings; today I’ve fulfilled my vows. 15 So I came out to meet you, to search for you, and I’ve found you. 16 I’ve spread coverings on my bed—richly colored linen from Egypt. 17 I’ve perfumed my bed with myrrh, aloes, and cinnamon.
18 Come, let’s drink deeply of lovemaking until morning. Let’s feast on each other’s love! 19 My husband isn’t home; he went on a long journey. 20 He took a bag of silver with him and will come home at the time of the full moon.”
21 She seduces him with her persistent pleading; she lures with her flattering talk. 22 He follows her impulsively like an ox going to the slaughter, like a deer bounding toward a trap 23 until an arrow pierces its liver, like a bird darting into a snare—he doesn’t know it will cost him his life.
24 Now, sons, listen to me, and pay attention to the words from my mouth. 25 Don’t let your heart turn aside to her ways; don’t stray onto her paths. 26 For she has brought many down to death; her victims are countless. 27 Her house is the road to Sheol, descending to the chambers of death. (Pr. 7:1-27)
1. Are we starting to get the message? Solomon hopes so and so does God!
2. I won’t apologize for reading these long passages, because they are so clear and so helpful in knowing, understanding, and doing the wisdom of God with regard to sex.
3. Solomon starts at the same place: pleading with his son to obey his words and treasure his commands, because they lead to life and will guard him from sin and foolishness.
4. Solomon then described the way it often goes in life.
a. A young man who lacked sense was hanging out near the house of the “forbidden” woman.
b. She finds him and lures him with her provocative dress, flattering talk, and hidden agenda.
c. She comes on to him with kisses, with her perfumed bed, and promises that her husband won’t be back for a long time.
d. It says that she seduces him with her persistent pleading and flattering talk, but I’m not sure that he was putting up much of a fight.
e. The foolish man took the bait and rushed into the trap, like an ox going to the slaughter.
f. And what is the end result yet again? Destruction and death. Countless are her victims!
5. I hope we are getting the point. I hope we can see the pattern.
a. Sexual sin is a rut that always leads to the same end.
I. So, what lessons can we learn from these sections of Proverbs that will help us be wise about sex?
J. One lesson we learn is: Don’t be fooled by the bait.
1. When I set a mouse trap, I put some yummy peanut butter on the trigger and make it look like it is free for the taking – it looks great, smells great, and doesn’t cost anything – what a lie!
2. This is one of the great lies of this present age and culture – our sex saturated society is bombarded by the message that a person can act on their sexual impulses without any consequences.
3. As long as the sex is consensual then there is no harm in it, right? Wrong.
4. Multitudes of people, young and old, have taken the bait and gotten caught in the trap.
a. The trap may be an unplanned pregnancy or an unwanted sexually transmitted disease.
b. The trap may be the many emotional pains and problems that come when we share our most intimate and sacred part of us with someone only to be rejected and discover that we’ve been used rather than loved.
c. The trap may be a sexual addition to pornography or to strip clubs or serial adultery.
d. The trap always includes the guilt that comes from sin, as we have sinned against God and against our very selves.
e. The apostle Paul wrote: Flee sexual immorality! Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the person who is sexually immoral sins against his own body. (1 Cor. 6:18)
f. God knows that sexual wounds are among the deepest and most profound wounds that can be inflicted upon a person, and God’s boundaries are designed to protect us from them.
g. God did not create us in a way that sexual immorality is okay and harmless, we just aren’t make for that, we are made for something else.
5. Another thing about the trap that we must be aware of is the trap is a “bait and switch.”
a. Sin never delivers what it promises.
b. The thing that the temptation promises is always better than what it delivers.
c. Sexual temptation drips with honey and is smoother than oil, but in the end, what starts as sweet turns bitter and what seems smooth and safe, turns out to be sharp and deadly.
d. The temptation to live outside of God’s boundaries for sex always looks better than it really is – the grass really isn’t greener on the other side of the fence.
e. Sexual temptation creates an illusion and then tries to persuade us that the illusion is real – whether it’s the plotline of the romance novel or the seductive image that’s been airbrushed and altered – sexual temptation peddles an illusion.
f. Participating in sexual immorality is like drinking salt water to satisfy our thirst – drinking salt water just makes us more thirsty – it never satisfies; it always leaves us empty.
g. So many people have participated in pre-marital and extra-marital sex in pursuit of lasting love and happiness, only to discover how temporary was the happiness, how devoid of love it was, and how much they lost in the process.
K. A second lesson we learn is: Run from Temptation
1. In Pr. 5:8, Solomon says: Keep your way far from her. Don’t go near the door of her house.
2. It’s much easier to stay away from temptation than to walk away when you’ve gotten involved.
3. In fact, walking away may require some drastic measures and if you’re being tempted to sin, then it’s best not to walk…you better run!
4. Joseph of the Old Testament has left us a great example of how to flee from temptation.
a. When his master’s wife kept attempting to entice him into a sexual relationship, he refused to go to bed with her, and refused to be with her (Gen. 39:10).
b. Then one day she excused all the other household servants and she made her move on Joseph, grabbing him by his clothing saying, “sleep with me!”
c. The Bible says: But leaving his garment in her hand, he escaped and ran outside. (39:12)
5. In the passage I have already mentioned from 1 Corinthians 6, Paul said: Flee sexual immorality! We must run away from it!
6. In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus warned us about the sin of lust, and suggested a radical remedy: “If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of the parts of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell.” (Mt. 5:29)
a. Obviously, Jesus was talking figuratively, not literally – the point is that we must remove anything that will lead us into sin and ultimately into hell.
b. We must run from the temptation and remove the source of the temptation.
c. If access to pornography on the internet or cable television is the problem, then if less drastic steps aren’t helping, then more drastic steps may need to be taken – internet filters can be installed, we can find an accountability partner, a recovery group, or a therapist.
d. If any of us is being tempted into sexual immorality during our time of dating, then steps must be taken to avoid falling into sin – we can do double dating, or only meet in public and spend no time alone at each other’s house.
e. If any of us is being tempted to commit adultery in our circle of friends, or at work, or at a place we frequent, then we may need to change our friends, get a different job, and stop going to certain places.
7. Decisive action must be taken, it is that serious, run quickly and stay far from it.
L. A third lesson we learn is: Enjoy the Spouse You Have
1. This is the positive message that Solomon had for his son: 15 Drink water from your own cistern, water flowing from your own well. 16 Should your springs flow in the streets, streams in the public squares? 17 They should be for you alone and not for you to share with strangers. 18 Let your fountain be blessed, and take pleasure in the wife of your youth. 19 A loving deer, a graceful doe—let her breasts always satisfy you; be lost in her love forever. 20 Why, my son, would you lose yourself with a forbidden woman or embrace a wayward woman? (Pr. 5:15-20)
2. I think Christianity has gotten a bad rap on the issue of sexuality.
a. Many people have thought that Christianity is anti-sex, but the truth is that the Bible has a very positive view of sexuality within the boundaries of marriage between a man and a woman.
b. The marriage bed is likened to a well or cistern where the married couple finds fresh water to refresh their souls and strengthen their bodies.
3. God is the one who imagined the role that sex would play in marriage and He has created us to experience its joys and blessings.
a. God has created a way that is better than looking at dirty movies or cheap magazine, or going to a prostitute, or flirting with someone at work or online.
b. That better way is called being lost in the love of your spouse and drinking from the fountain of pleasure with your spouse.
c. God’s purpose for married sex isn’t just procreation, it is also for enjoyment and intimacy between a husband and wife – it is part of the cement that bonds a husband and wife together, physically, emotionally and spiritually.
d. Marriage is designed by God to be the safest context for us to enjoy our sexuality.
M. The final lesson we learn is: Remember, God Sees Everything
1. Proverbs 5:21-23 says: 21 For a man’s ways are before the Lord’s eyes, and he considers all his paths. 22 A wicked man’s iniquities will trap him; he will become tangled in the ropes of his own sin. 23 He will die because there is no discipline, and be lost because of his great stupidity For a man’s ways are in full view of the Lord.
2. God sees everything we do, He sees everywhere we go, He sees who we are with, and He even knows the thoughts we think.
3. This should cause us to consider all our ways, because God knows all and God will hold us accountable for our thoughts and actions.
4. But thankfully, God is also a merciful God who offers us a way of forgiveness and redemption.
N. The passages from Proverbs that we have looked at today are a helpful warning to keep us from going down the wrong paths with regard to sex, but they don’t really address those who have already entrapped themselves in sexual immorality whether it be pornography, or pre-marital sex, or adultery.
1. But the rest of the Bible and especially the New Testament emphasizes the power of God to rescue people who have foolishly fallen into sexual immorality and to help them change their ways.
2. The Good News of Jesus is that He took all our sins upon Himself so that we have a way to confess our sins, repent of our ways, and be forgiven; thus we are made new and can start over.
3. No matter how far we’ve strayed off the path of God’s wisdom and ways, it’s never too late to wise up about sex, because the past can be forgiven, and we can learn to properly employ God’s wisdom in the present and the future which brings life – abundant and eternal.
Resources:
• Don’t Be Dumb! The Wisdom of Proverbs for Today, by James T. (Tommy) South
• Wise Up About Sex, Sermon by Timothy Peck, SermonCentral.com
• Purity: Staying Clean in a Dirty World, Sermon by Ray Pritchard
