Where you focus your thoughts greatly effects how you feel, how you talk to others, and your relationship with God. So where should we focus, our blessings or hardships?
A few weeks back my son came home on leave. It was a wonderful time but it was eye opening as well. My son ended up in the exact same job as I currently do. He’s a Program Manager for new technology on government contracts.
We spent way too much of our time lamenting the woes of the job; government red tape, people wanting everything with no budget, projects behind schedule, and so on. We just kept complaining about how bad it was, with a lot of “I’ve got it worse” talks. Then I heard him taking a work call and expressing all the same frustrations and volume as I do when directing the next few steps.
I have to say that was one of several “Cats In the Cradle” moments during that week. I’m referring to the old Cat Stevens song about the boy who grew up to be just like his dad. That’s when my wife reminded us, we were lamenting things we couldn’t change rather than enjoying the blessing of being together. She said we should be counting our blessings over beleaguers. She was right. Attitude puts color on our lives, dashing or drab.
Scriptures tell us in Psalms 55:22:
Cast your burden on the Lord, And He shall sustain you; He shall never permit the righteous to be moved
And in Ephesians 5 19:20 it says:
…. be filled with the Spirit, 19 speaking to one another with psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit. Sing and make music from your heart to the Lord, 20 always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.
God wants us to count blessings and for many good reasons. Focusing on the good really does change your attitude. It can make the difference in getting through a difficult time. Because no matter what, there are still things to be thankful for.
Did you ever see the movie Young Frankenstein? It’s a comedy spoof on all the Frankenstein horror movies of the 30’s &40’s. In it, Gene Wilder (Dr. Frankenstein) and Marty Feldman (Igor) are digging in a graveyard to build the monster. Gene Wilder says “what a filthy job”. Marty Feldman replies “could be worse… could be raining”.
That is the perfect example of the eternal optimist finding something good during something horrible. Whenever my wife and I are in a bad situation, changing a tire on the side of the road, or at the ER waiting to be seen, one of us will lean to the other and whisper “could be worse… could be raining”. It really works. The levity reminds us to find something we can count as a blessing.
This is another example of Biblical teachings being backed up by science. There was an extensive study done on how focusing on the positive improves our lives. There was an excerpt that I’d like to share from a study where one group was asked to keep a journal on things they were grateful for compared to a control group that kept no journal or one on the bad things.
The excerpt reads:
• In an experimental comparison, those who kept gratitude journals on a weekly basis exercised more regularly, reported fewer physical symptoms, felt better about their lives as a whole, and were more optimistic about the upcoming week compared to those who recorded hassles or neutral life events (Emmons & McCullough, 2003).
• A related benefit was observed in the realm of personal goal attainment: Participants who kept gratitude lists were more likely to have made progress toward important personal goals (academic, interpersonal and health-based) over a two-month period compared to subjects in the other experimental conditions.
• A daily gratitude intervention (self-guided exercises) with young adults resulted in higher reported levels of the positive states of alertness, enthusiasm, determination, attentiveness and energy compared to a focus on hassles or a downward social comparison (ways in which participants thought they were better off than others). There was no difference in levels of unpleasant emotions reported in the three groups.
• Participants in the daily gratitude condition were more likely to report having helped someone with a personal problem or having offered emotional support to another, relative to the hassles or social comparison condition.
• In a sample of adults with neuromuscular disease, a 21-day gratitude intervention resulted in greater amounts of high energy positive moods, a greater sense of feeling connected to others, more optimistic ratings of one’s life, and better sleep duration and sleep quality, relative to a control group.
• Children who practice grateful thinking have more positive attitudes toward school and their families (Froh, Sefick, & Emmons, 2008).(1)
Reading that study highlights one of the reasons the message in scriptures has resonated for thousands of years; because it’s true.
But with all this talk of blessings, what is a blessing?
Let’s start with the extreme basics of food, water & shelter. These are the basic necessities of life yet not everyone has that. If you consistently know when you will eat your next meal than you are better off than a third of the population of earth. (2) This is a true blessing, and why it’s important to give thanks before every meal.
If you have clean water, you’re better off than 25% of the world. What an important blessing. Well, you can live many days without food, but only about 3 days without water. In sub-Sahara Africa, there are about 50 deaths out of every 100,000 people blamed on unsanitary water. But clean water is a blessing we can pass along. We can help provide that blessing for so many others. There are numerous charities that support projects to dig wells, providing clean water for an entire community. I read about just one charity that was able to give this blessing to 63 million people. (3)
Forgiveness is another blessing.
Think of the burden of guilt we have all carried. It’s like when Scrooge sees Marly covered in chains; the chains that are the weight of his sins he carries for an eternity. Every sin we’ve ever committed is a conviction that would keep us from returning home to the Kingdom of God. But we can have forgiveness. A forgiveness we haven’t earned yet can have by accepting Christ’s sacrifice for us. Through the grace of God, our debt for those sins can be erased. That is such a great blessing.
Ephesians 2:4–5 (NIV)
4 But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, 5 made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved.
Again, this is a blessing we can share. Remember it says right in the Lord’s Prayer – “forgive us of our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.”
Forgiveness is so important because it is it works both ways. How often are we hobbled by guilt over something we’ve done. Guilt holds us back from fulfilling what God tasks us to do. But when we’re forgiven; we’re freed from guilt of knowing how we’ve hurt someone, or hurt God. However, we are better for having learned the lesson to not repeat the mistake.
The other side of forgiveness is when we forgive others. This is important for the health of our bodies as well as our soul. How long do we want to hold onto grudges? I know that sometimes we find comfort in our anger. We hold onto it, like some prickly old blanket. It doesn’t feel good but we keep clinging. This keeps our mind dwelling on the negative rather than in the light of the Lord. It creates a barrier between us and God. God’s forgiveness is immense and he expects that of us too. Remember the parable of the man forgiven his debt but then didn’t forgive those who were in debt to him? We’re commanded to forgive if we want to be forgiven. Then when Peter asked how many times we should forgive, is it seven? Jesus replied it was 70 X 7 times; meaning there really isn’t a limit, just like God’s mercy on us. Forgiving those who've sinned against us releases us from that anger that we’ve been keeping. True forgiveness means we let go of any anger. If we still think that justice needs to be served, then there hasn’t been real forgiveness. In real forgiveness, just like Christ has for us, the debt has been paid and no retribution needs to be served.
Psalm 32 (NIV)
1 Blessed is the one whose transgressions are forgiven, whose sins are covered.
What a great Psalm. It brings up two blessings, forgiveness, and we know that forgiveness comes from God’s love. For love is another of our blessings. Earlier I talked about the needs of food, water and shelter. Love is also a proven need for human kind. According to WebMD (4) (because why ask an actual in person doctor when you have the internet), but anyhow… It said that lack of love can cause:
• Loss of concentration
• Insomnia
• Depression
• Excessive preoccupation
• Hoarding of the items related to the loved one
• Anxiety
As opposed to what WebMD (5) says are the physical benefits of love which are:
• Fewer Doctor’s Visits
• Less Depression & Substance Abuse
• Lower Blood Pressure
• Less Anxiety
• Natural Pain Control
• Better Stress Management
• Fewer Colds
• Faster Healing
• Longer Life
• Happier Life
With all those benefits you can see the real need for love. Receiving it is a blessing just like the other basics of food, water, shelter. We receive God’s love freely. Whether we ask for it or not, God will always love us.
There is one more perspective I’d like to explore. I read an article by a man who had to perform as a Rabi for one day. It was about at time when there was a Bar Mitzvah for twins and many people had traveled from all over for the celebration. Unfortunately during the pandemic, both Rabi’s for the congregation, and the Cantor were all out with COVID. The author of the article said he was a native Hebrew speaker with enough knowledge of the Bible to step in and do the Torah readings, and even deliver a short sermon. As he did it he said he was reminded the WE can be a blessing. (5)
He pointed out that in Genesis 12:1-2 it says: (NIV)
12 The Lord had said to Abram, “Go from your country, your people and your father’s household to the land I will show you.2 “I will make you into a great nation, and I will bless you; I will make your name great, and you will be a blessing.3 I will bless those who bless you, and whoever curses you I will curse; and all peoples on earth will be blessed through you.”
That was really a great thought; that we can be the blessing. It was pointed out that God told Abraham to “Go Forth”. We need to get out and “do”. We have had so many blessings, we must spread this to others.
There is so much we can do. A simple example is every Sunday we take a collection. This is our chance to designate part of the blessings we’ve received to others. It can be directly designated to the poor. Or it can continue the upkeep of the building that serves us, providing a meeting place for all.
We can also support things like our food banks, ensuring others know where their next meal is coming from. That’s not the only charity. Even us bikers have motorcycle charity runs where we raise 10’s of thousands to help prevent child abuse, suicide prevention, protection of battered spouses, and Toys for Tots.
But also, we cannot downplay the things as simple as a kind word or offer support to those who really may just need someone to listen. Many times your voice will change the course of another person’s day.
I close with Psalm 67:1
May God be gracious to us and bless us and make his face shine on us
We have all been very blessed. We need to focus on all that God had given us rather than lament for things desired. Focusing on the blessings will lighten your spirit. This is what God wants for us. We have the privilege of food, water, shelter. Greatest of all, we have the love and forgiveness of the Lord; freeing us from the bonds of sin and allowing us eternal life with our Creator. Understanding how very blessed we are, now, we must follow God’s commandment and go forth to be the blessing to others.
Amen!
1.https://emmons.faculty.ucdavis.edu/gratitude-and-well-being/
2. https://concernusa.org/news/world-hunger-facts/
3. https://ourworldindata.org/clean-water#:~:text=Almost%20three%2Dquarters%20of%20the,across%20regions%20and%20income%20groups.
4. https://www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/what-to-know-about-lovesickness
5. https://www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/features/health-benefits
6. https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/understanding-hypnosis/202211/what-does-it-mean-person-be-blessing#:~:text=A%20blessing%20can%20be%20defined,prosperity%20to%20those%20around%20us.
