LIVING A LIFE OF UNCONDITIONAL LOVE
By: C. Mason Davis
A pastor from a small town was asked to preach in a large city’s church while their pastor was away. This church had more members than he’d seen in any one place before. He was pretty nervous and even more so just minutes before the service was to start. He realized that he’d forgotten his teeth back at the hotel room. Panicked, he sought out the associate pastor and told him of the problem. “I can’t preach without teeth,” he said. The associate pastor thought for a second and then told the pastor he’d be right back. He told Brother Jones of the problem and Brother Jones said he might have a solution. Five minutes later he came back to the study with Brother Jones in tow. Brother Jones pulled a set of dentures out of a pocket and gave them to the pastor. The pastor put them in his mouth, but they were too small. “They don’t fit,” he said. Brother Jones took them back and reached into a different pocket and handed another pair to the pastor. “These fit perfectly,” the pastor said. Even better than his own teeth, he thought. He went to the altar and gave the best sermon of his life. Afterwards, he sought out Brother Jones to thank him. “Brother Jones,” he said, “I’d like to know where your office is, I’ve been looking for a new dentist.” Brother Jones looked at him with a confused look on his face and said, “But I’m not a dentist, I’m a Funeral Director.”
TODAY’S SCRIPTURE
1 Corinthians 13:4-7, "Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things."
Love takes effort. Just like a smile takes more facial muscles than it does to frown. Unconditional love takes faith. Faith in Christ, faith in yourself, and faith in those that you love, as well as trust. 1 John 4:16 “And we have known and believed the love that God hath to us. God is love; and he that dwelleth in love dwelleth in God, and God in him.” It’s easier to be lazy and not try as hard, taking everyone and everything for granted, and possibly end up forgetting how to love, as well as who we love, and why. Too many couples lose sight of why they became a couple in the first place and quit trying to make their relationship work. Ephesians 5:33 states, “Nevertheless, let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.” Fact is a lot of couples quit trying long before everything becomes a mere convenience. The romance stops, the love falters when the effort stops. Instead of being lazy by spending more time in the recliner with the television on, why not work at spending quality time together as an effort to put the romance and love back into your relationship and into your lives. If you’ll try, you might just be surprised how bigger issues suddenly become small and insignificant. You might just be surprised how your thoughts and feelings can go from negative to positive. Perhaps then you’ll be able to smile at each other without much effort, or even notice that you’re smiling.
2 Timothy 2:23-24, “But foolish and unlearned questions avoid, knowing that they do gender strifes. And the servant of the Lord must not strive; but be gentle unto all men, apt to teach, patient.” It is so much easier to yell and argue about issues than it is to talk things out calmly. We talk more and listen less, and we don’t allow ourselves any room in our argument to understand the spouse’s perspective, which in most cases would help in solving the issue at hand. Although it takes more energy to react in negative ways it seems to be how we choose to act when facing different viewpoints or opinions. When we are tired, mentally and/or physically, we often take the direction that takes less effort by talking louder, faster, and losing patience. What we should be doing instead is reaching down deep into ourselves, showing our special someone’s how much we love them without conditions. How much we want them to be happy, even if that means being more patient, giving into their wants and needs more often, so any disagreement can be ended with a long kiss and a tight hug. At times we can become so weak and tired that we ignore problems and don’t face them. Unfortunately, when the problems go ignored, they become much bigger, like a big weed in a beautiful flower bed. Don’t allow anything to take all your strength, not even your job. It’s great to work hard to support yourself and your family, but it takes a great deal of work to make relationships of any kind to flourish. If your work zaps all of your strength and you haven’t any energy to work on your relationships, they will become the weeds in your flower bed. All relationships take work, whether they’re old or new. If we’ll make the effort to renew our love for our families and other relationships, and especially our love of God every day, we’ll find that all of our relationships will thrive, God will give us the strength we need, and other’s will be more forgiving towards our shortcomings. This is when we’ll be able to see more clearly that nothing is as bad as it seems and our want for loving unconditionally can be realized. When we don’t give our thanks to everyone in our lives often enough, negative feelings, thoughts, and issues can build around you like a tall brick wall, and you feel stuck with no relief in sight. But with the love of family and love from our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, no wall is impenetrable. No hurdle is too high. Psalm 110:3 reads, “Thy people shall be willing in the day of thy power, in the beauties of holiness from the womb of the morning: thou hast the dew of thy youth.” All it takes is more effort and you’ll be surprised how uplifting life can be. God does have great things in store for each of us. He’s the great rewarder of those who diligently seek Him. One of His greatest rewards is His creation of unconditional love. How many of you believe that unconditional love is possible? If you’re a parent or a pet owner, you must know that it’s possible. Perhaps you start out your marriage feeling that unconditional love. A lot of people make excuses as to why that strong bond doesn’t last. They say, “True love doesn’t last, it fades with time.” But if you love God unconditionally and you know He feels the same for you, then you know these reasons are just excuses for failure in relationships. I’m sure you could look at every, single divorce case ever, and knowing all about those relationships, the main reason for them failing is a lack of effort, among other reasons.
You love your kids and pets, too. Those kinds of love never fade. The bonds can be bent, but never broken. You’ll love your kids and pets even when they’ve done wrong or misbehaved. When I was a kid, I got a good paddling for my purposeful mishaps, but I never loved my parents any less. In today’s world, kids seem to be in control. Parents don’t discipline them to the point that the children are in charge, not the parents. When they demand something, parents take the easy way out and give in. Like a child who juts out their lower lip in a pout and crosses their arms. Sometimes we can love our kids/pets so much that we won’t discipline them when they need it or tell them “No” when they want something because we don’t want to hurt their feelings by doing so. That kind of love isn’t the unconditional love that God has in mind for us. Loving unconditionally doesn’t mean always saying “yes” or not disciplining a child in the wrong but loving them to the point where always doing right by them, including discipline and saying “no.” Teaching them right from wrong in the right way is loving them unconditionally. God wants us to love so unconditionally that we’ll always do the right thing, even if it’s not the most popular thing. This is a very important time to pray to Him asking for His love, strength, and guidance.
If you don’t know what unconditional love is like, then get a dog. If you’ve never experienced unconditional love, then get a dog. I believe that God created dogs to teach us humans how to love unconditionally. He also created dogs not to be able to speak our languages so that we can learn from them, knowing that most of the time we’d be better off not saying anything during disputes. He created dogs to not live as long as humans so that we can experience the loving and losing, then loving again, unconditionally each time throughout our lives. When we lose a dog/pet, some people don’t want another because of the hurt and pain that loss has caused them. Others adopt a new dog right away, and other’s take years before they feel ready to love another. That’s how strong unconditional love can be. We all deal with love and loss differently.
In 1 Corinthians 13, the Apostle Paul describes in great detail many of the characteristics and qualities of God’s love. He talks about love being patient and kind, not boastful and proud. It translates into unconditional love and trust in God. That He will reward us great things if we overcome the enemy’s temptations. It means that we should take on any problems, stay positive and keep moving forward, believe in what is right, and to beat all trials and tribulations the enemy presents in our life. The closer we are to God, the more that the enemy will test us. The more trouble he will try to cause in our lives. If we have problems in our life, we need to overcome them in the right way. That doesn’t mean that if we stray further from God that these bad things won’t happen to us, they will. But loving God and living the life He wants for us will be the foundation for overcoming those evils. If you’re not close to God, don’t love Jesus Christ, haven’t accepted Him as your Lord and Savior, or don’t love Him unconditionally, you won’t stand a chance of overcoming those evils.
Can you believe the best in every person? Do you try? I know that I try to believe the best in every person and because of that belief, I get lied to, taken advantage of, and even cheated. None of us like that to happen. It makes us angry and not want to trust the next person who comes along and needs help. The way I try to look at it is that if I come across someone I can help and don’t help them because the last time it didn’t work out, then what happens if the one time someone really needs your help, but you refuse? Just because some take advantage doesn’t mean that we can ignore those who really need help. But when you do something good for someone and it works out, that great feeling you get really does make it worthwhile, especially when you think about the times it didn’t work out well. Love overlooks a person’s faults. Can you do that? I want to challenge all of you today to live a life of unconditional love. Even those who are not receptive to our love. We must not give up. We’ve got to be quick to show God’s mercy especially to those who are not receptive. Psalms 18:25 states, “With the merciful thou wilt shew thyself merciful; with an upright man thou wilt shew thyself upright.”
We should not be hard or critical, nor judge other people. We have enough of our own faults. Love sees the best in everyone and if you look hard enough and long enough, you can find something positive in every person you know or meet. You can even find some good in your worst adversary. Take that something good and concentrate on it. Trust in that good you find. Maybe it will raise that person’s confidence and turn their negativity to positivity. Maybe you can make a difference in that person’s life. Maybe you’ll learn more about that person to love. Can you see faults in other’s and love them anyway? Think of the faults your spouse has and ask yourself if you can love them regardless. If the answer is “no,” then you need to work on yourself, not the other. I’m sure that some of you are thinking, “if I can’t get past some of my spouse’s faults, does that mean that I can trade in my old one for a newer, skinnier model?” Not a chance, it does not! It means that you need to make an effort to love without conditions, not to change the conditions or change the person.
Have you ever noticed how easy it is to speak about other people in a negative way? To point out their faults, completely forgetting about your own? It’s so easy to criticize them. That leads to gossip, and it always comes back around to you. People end up hurt and spiteful. Why can’t we just say something positive to reinforce that person rather than tear them down. Tearing someone down, even to make yourself feel better, goes against the nature of God. Jesus was about the best example for living and loving on earth. Everywhere He went He reached out to people, loved them unconditionally, and did good things. He encouraged, built up those that sought, and saw the best in them. It takes much less effort to be negative than positive, so we must all make the effort to stay in the positive frame of mind like Jesus did for everyone He met.
There once lived a positive farmer and a negative farmer. If it rained, the positive farmer thanked God for the rain that made his crops grow. The negative farmer complained that the rain would make his crops soggy and ruin. If it was sunny and hot the positive farmer thanked God for the sun and heat that would make his crops grow. The negative farmer complained that the heat and sun would dry out his crops. The positive farmer just bought a hunting dog and wanted to show him off. So, the positive farmer and the negative farmer went bird hunting one day. The positive farmer shot a bird and sent his new dog after it. The dog jumped out of the boat and miraculously ran across the water, picked up the bird and ran back on top of the water to the boat where he very carefully set the bird down and got back into the boat. The positive farmer was beaming from ear to ear. “So, what do you think of that,” the positive farmer asked. The negative farmer had a smirk on his face and replied, “Just as I thought, the dog can’t even swim.”
Now who would you rather sound like? What outlook on life would you rather live with? What we allow to come out of our mouths is so important. Proverbs 18:21 says, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof.” Words can be bad for a person. If we feel better about ourselves when we do good acts, say good things, why don’t we stick to saying good things that lift people up? Making someone feel better or good about themselves can make us feel so much better about ourselves. I challenge each of you to go make a new friend today, and one everyday after that. Before each of you leave today, learn something about someone else. Too many people, myself included, haven’t many friends for any number of reasons. How many of you sitting here right now don’t know every other person in here like a friend would know a friend? Isn’t it about time to do something about that. You’d be spreading love unconditionally if you do these things, perhaps making many days brighter for those you reach out to.
One of the greatest examples of God’s love and mercy is found in John 8:3-11, “And the scribes and Pharisees brought unto him a woman taken in adultery; and when they had set her in the midst. They say unto him, Master, this woman was taken in adultery, in the very act. Now Moses in the law commanded us, that such should be stoned: but what sayest thou? This they said, tempting him, that they might have to accuse him. But Jesus stooped down, and with his finger wrote on the ground, as though he heard them not. So, when they continued asking him, he lifted up himself, and said unto them, He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her. And again, he stooped down and wrote on the ground. And they which heard it, being convicted by their own conscience, went out one by one, beginning at the eldest, even unto the last: and Jesus was left alone, and the woman standing in the midst. When Jesus had lifted up himself, and saw none but the woman, he said unto her, Woman, where are those thine accusers? hath no man condemned thee? She said, No man, Lord. And Jesus said unto her, neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more.” If that isn’t displaying unconditional love, I don’t know what could. You see, this is a very powerful lesson to understand. I believe that the Holy Spirit was saying that when we are critical and negative, when we are judgmental and condemning towards other people, God will just ignore us. God is not please when we just run around pointing out each other’s faults. He doesn’t jump on the band wagon and say, “Oh, thank you so much for bringing to my attention what a lousy, rotten person that is. He already knows everything about that person. When we are critical and negative, He just looks the other way. He doesn’t want to hear any kind of garbage like this from us. If someone comes up to us and tell us something negative about someone you don’t know, don’t you wonder why this person is telling you this? That person is wanting you to make the same judgement about a person you don’t know. The Bible tells us in Matthew 7:1-6, “Judge not, that ye be not judged. For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again. And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye? Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, let me pull out the mote out of thine eye; and behold, a beam is in thine own eye? Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother's eye. Give not that which is holy unto the dogs, neither cast ye your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn again and rend you.” Don’t you wonder about the goodness of the person telling you this rather than listen to what is being said about the other? It makes me want to go befriend the other person because most every time I’ve done that, my new friend was totally different about the gossip about him. In my schooling years, I was always one to stand up for the kid being bullied, and not be on the side of the bully. Reach out to those you don’t know. Who cares if they have long hair, and you don’t like long hair. Who cares that they like to dress in black and you don’t. Go lift up everyone with positive words and greetings, you’ll be rewarded with a new friend, at the least. You see, our time here is short enough as it is. Why waste our time negatively. Be an adversary of unconditional love, not selective love. Doesn’t that make sense?
You see, we’ve all got to give people a little room to be the people that God’s called them to be. Don’t fence people in. It wasn’t long ago that I realized just how boring this world would be if everyone were too much like myself. They do say that opposites attract, and maybe that’s why everyone isn’t like me. When we do attract opposite people to who you are, don’t just write them off. Show them the unconditional love and patience you’d want them to show you and accept them for whom they are, not who you think they should be.
What do you do when you see someone who is down on their luck, needing a hand up rather than a handout? Have you ever anything, even just a “hello” to someone like this? How many people do you know like this or has been in this kind of situation before? Why aren’t you making the effort to reach out to that person? Why aren’t you actively giving the most effort you can to being the person God wants you to be? I’m not judging you because I’m just as guilty about this myself. I may be delivering the message, but I’ve got a lot to learn from it, as well. God made us all different. Gave us each a brain to make our own choices and be ourselves. Just because someone wears different clothing than I don’t make them wrong and me right. If you look past that one difference that you’re mostly noticing, you’ll find more in common than you think. Some people don’t like wearing a suit and tie to church. Big deal! There’s no place in the Bible that tells you exactly what to wear to church. And the main thing is that God just wants you to wear something. Wouldn’t that be awkward if you didn’t. This isn’t the Garden of Eden. Don’t come in here looking like Adam and Eve. Our world isn’t that liberal yet. But one of our biggest mistakes is that we are too critical of our differences. We should be more appreciative of the variety God hath created.
In making friends, especially with someone different from yourself, you should concentrate on what you do agree on, rather than what you don’t. Isn’t it amazing that we let the little 5% we don’t agree on seem overwhelming and endless compared to the 95% that we do agree. Why do we let the little things keep us from loving each other? Why do we let that little part tear our families apart? Next time you feel that a relationship is over or nearing it, write down a list of nothing but the good things about the relationship. Concentrate on that list and try to draw the good back into the relationship. After a while, compare the good to the bad and you will see that the good has shifted to now be overwhelmingly in favor.
I challenge each of you to do this…next time you and someone don’t see eye to eye, don’t give up. Even if the other person seems to have given up already. Go to this person and give them this analogy. I feel that you’re not responding because you’ve drawn a circle around yourself to shut me out. Well, I want you to watch me now because I’m going to draw a bigger circle around both of us to shut you in. It’s the same thing as opening your arms and your heart to someone, forgetting the differences, forgiving the blame from you both, and enfolding them in your arms in a hug filled with unconditional love. Isn’t it about time to knock down the walls surrounding your heart and begin to love again? I know I’m trying. In Hebrews 3:13, “But exhort one another daily, while it is called To day; lest any of you be hardened through the deceitfulness of sin.” The word “Exhort” means to lift up, strengthen, and encourage. And if you’re allowing anything other than uplifting, positive, faith-filled encouraging words to come out of your mouth about another individual or about another church, I can promise you it is not pleasing to the Lord, and it will hinder you in your walk with the Lord. In 1 Peter 3:10, “For he that will love life, and see good days, let him refrain his tongue from evil, and his lips that they speak no guile.” Nothing does more damage to a relationship with the Lord or to someone you love than spreading rumors, telling lies, and gossiping about people. It’s wrong to even listen. When you do listen, you’re only silently encouraging that person to continue spreading that rumor. The Bible says in Proverbs 11:13, “A talebearer revealeth secrets: but he that is of a faithful spirit concealeth the matter.” And friends, there’s no excuse you can come up with to try to justify telling something about another person that is going to harm them. Whether it’s true or not, it doesn’t matter. Love overlooks a person’s faults. Love see’s the best in everybody. Can you overlook another person’s faults? Can you see the best in everybody? Are you ready to try?
If someone is trying to tell you a juicy bit of gossip, stop that someone. Instead of being negative about that person, pray for that person and their faults. Go so far as to befriend that person and if they need help, love them and help them, no matter what their faults are. Just remember that Jesus looked the other way.
Jesus, because of what happened in John 8 with the adulterous woman, was then able to set the requirement that enabled us to be judgmental and critical of others. He said that it’s okay as long as you meet one simple requirement. That requirement is that you yourself have never sinned. I can tell you that this requirement takes me, takes all of us, out of the stone throwing business. One by one these religious leaders left until the only one left was the adulterous woman and the one man who could condemn her for her sin, Jesus Christ. He was the Son of God who knew no sin. He simply looked at her and asked her where her accusers were. For the first time she looked up, looked all around, and much to her surprise, all of these religious hypocrites were gone. And she said, in a quiet broken voice, Lord, no man’s accused me. No man is condemning me now. Jesus then looked at her through His incredible eyes of love with mercy and compassion and said, “Neither do I condemn you. Go and don’t sin anymore.” Jesus is such a great example to follow. He is so kind and compassionate, so merciful. He sees the best in everyone. He sees your potential. He knows you’re only human, so he looks past your faults. He knows you’re going to make mistakes. He’s in the loving business, not the condemning business. Ask yourself, which business are you in? He is love, and when you show love, you are sharing God. You are pleasing God.
Just look at how he forgave that woman, not condemn her. Didn’t even try to make her feel bad. He simply loved her as love never fails. The next time you’re tempted to be hard and judgmental on someone who’s made a mistake, just think about how He forgave the adulterous woman, and think about where you yourself would be without the love and mercy of God. We’d all be on our way to hell. We all make mistakes. When we make a mistake, we expect forgiveness and multiple chances. Why can’t we give what we expect. It does take effort to do so. If you continue to be unforgiving, you are planting bad seeds. When you make a sinful mistake, you expect to be forgiven, but what if it doesn’t come? We then tend to become bitter, and that’s not at all what God wants for us. Remember that if you plant bad seeds, you’ll one day reap what you plant.
When you’re unwilling to show mercy, when you’re unwilling to show God’s love, when you’re unwilling to forgive people, you burn the bridge that you may one day need to travel on yourself. I’d be very hesitant not to criticize other’s until I first walked in their shoes. Learning to empathize is a huge step into knowing how to love unconditionally. You may not have the whole story or what that person is going through. You may not know the hardships and pain they’ve endured. Do you know what kind of environment in which they were raised? Do you know the hurts they may so wrongly have suffered? Would it matter to know these things? How compassionate are you? Do you really know? Maybe it’s time to take a long look at yourself to see what you need to do to become closer to God. To be living the life that He wants for you. Where is the love and compassion within yourself that will help other’s get back on the right path? Where is your love and compassion that puts your arms around somebody and loves them and hugs them and holds them and comforts them in their time of need? Where is the mercy that God so freely gave to us? Isn’t the least we could do be to shed a little to them?
The Bible says in Galatians 6:1, “Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault, ye which are spiritual, restore such a one in the spirit of meekness; considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted.” Notice that it says nothing about being critical or judgmental of him. It talks about quietly getting him back on track.
Love overlooks faults and overlooks blame. Love overlooks mistakes and love shows mercy. Jesus said in Matthew 5:7, that “Blessed are the merciful for they shall obtain mercy.” What we’ve got to realize is that we all, at some time, will need God’s mercy. I promise you that’s a fact. So, we all need to learn to be quick to show other’s mercy, so we’ll be shown God’s quick mercy in our time of need. Try and think of what unconditional love means to you. What is your definition? What does giving unconditional love do for you? What does receiving unconditional love do for you? Who and/or what loves you unconditionally, and what have you done for them or with them lately? And now my brothers and sisters, go out there and spread the love. Love makes us real. So be real!
I pray that you find unconditional love in your life, starting with God. Amen!
