Life choice series
Relationships that matter
Good Morning everyone…
We are so glad that you have joined us as we dig into God’s Word and continue with the series “Life Choices”
Life choices involve life decisions… and life decisions should be thought out before they are made.
We know that most decisions have some kind of ripple effect meaning that unless it is a preference decision that most decisions have some kind of effect on other people.
Monday night coming back from a visit I decided not to go home the Pa. Turnpike and come back I-81 and I got caught up in traffic for an extra hour because of construction on the highway. Had I made the choice to go home the turnpike, it would have been quicker and easier to get home- but because someone was in a hurry and got into trouble, it caused a ripple effect on the traffic that was doing what they were supposed to.
Boundaries play a factor in our lives- those we put up for our safety, emotional and spiritual well being, right down to time issues and the bettering of time management. But there is also a group of lawmakers that got together and said that we cannot get on the highway and travel at 90 miles an hour... the speed limit is set at 65.That choice has been taken away from us for the betterment of mankind and to break that law would involve a ticket and maybe up to imprisonment for not obeying the law laid down to us.
The most important lesson from last week was that there are some decisions that have eternal benefits and those that have eternal punishments if we make the wrong decision.
That is the starting point of how you will make good and godly decisions. With Jesus as Lord of your life, you will make decisions that are pleasing and lining up with His Word.
Making decisions without Jesus being Lord, we will make decisions that are selfish and not lining up with God Word and will get us into trouble…ANYONE KNOW WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT?
What are we/you going to do with Jesus?
Will we accept what He has done on the cross for us and accept Him as our Lord and savior or are we going to reject his invitation of salvation and have to stand before the Lord one day and have no way of atoning for our sins.
I used three elements for making good decisions and how to deal with them.
Strategy- Have a plan
Tactically- Work the plan
Operational- Make it a routine in your life
If you remember strategically is a long-term high level decision where our lives are affected and they have to be thought out.
Tactically is once we make those decisions that we have a plan in place on how we are going to live them out.
Operational- everyday routines that are put into practice-
No one has to tell you to eat- you do that without much thought.
You do not have to be told that hot can burn you and cold will freeze you.
No one should have to tell you as a Christian to be in church on Sunday hearing and learning God’s Word.
No one should have to tell you to love you spouse and take care with the needs and safety of your family.
THESE ARE THINGS THAT YOU HAVE SETTLED IN YOUR MIND AND THEY BECOME A PART OF YOUR EVERYDAY LIVING.
THIS MORNING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT FRIENDSHIPS/relationships-
The fact that we are Christians should play a factor on how we make decisions and who we will hang out with in our lives.
We are as Christians to base our relationships on things that line up with God’s word and God’s principals.
These principals will help us make friends, find spouses, enhance our marriages, and provide for us direction to do service for Jesus in the kingdom!
Somebody say Amen!
I am serious… when you came to Jesus, you probably lost some friends because you no longer think like them and some of them didn’t want to hang with you anymore.
There are some that you painfully had to stop hanging with because they were pulling you down and causing you to do things that you no longer want to do in your life as a new believer!
Remember last week King Agrippa almost became a Christian-He put it off and said he would not make a choice so quickly after Paul was laying out the Plan.
We have a world full of almost Christians- the world has no idea if they are believers or not!
I ask you three questions-
Do you know what it is to be a friend?
Do you know what you are looking for in a friend?
The kind of friend you are looking for…are you willing to be that person to someone else?
Are you willing to make the right choices for friends that line up according to the word of God and the principals of God?
So the first life choice decision was to (1) make Jesus Christ Lord of your life and (2) The People (friends) you surround yourself with will make you or break you spiritually in your walk with God.
Good godly friends will help you walk close to Jesus and friends that are away from God in their lifestyle and actions can and will pull you away from the Lord if you begin doing what they are doing.
So Dr. Miles Munroe talks about different levels of friendship in our lives in one of his books.
Acquaintances-It is the lowest level of friendship and Munroe believes that all believers should have as many of these friendships as possible. Dr. Monroe says the possibility of ministering to them is endless. It is casual contact and a very basic knowledge of each other.
How’s the weather
Kids
Sports
Work level conversation
Nothing that is to threatening or too personal.
Munroe believes for a believer it is this level that maybe God has brought someone in your path to have you minister to them or them to minister to you for a season.
Everyone is significant and has value in God’s Eyes.
By building from an acquaintance (just met) you can begin to have a casual friendship- it is more common interests, activities, and concerns.
Casual friends are invited into someone’s life to be able to ask a few personal questions and get more involved.
They are not seriously involved emotional and are not yet into the inner circle of someone’s life.
Close friendship- this friendship is based upon life goals and the building of deeper relationships.
Most dating couples today go right to intimate at this point and cheat themselves out of really knowing the boyfriend or girlfriend.
As a Christian who has surrendered their relationship to the Lord, He will use this time to build a foundation that is not only built on emotions but on a strong foundation of compatibility and love.
I have news for you this morning, you are looking for a mate, if your mate claims to be a Christian but they are never praying, they are never in church, they never share a bible verse if they never pray for you when they know you have a need, it will not get better it will get worse when you have a ring on your finger.
Your close friends will be involved in your life and they will want to be a part of your spiritual growth.
Intimate friendship- it is the highest level of friendship- they say that if you have a few friends at this level that you are blessed. Most people do not have friendships at this level. I am a blessed man because I have so many people at that level of friendship.
It is where you have 20,30,40 year friends
It is where you have been through life circumstances with each other and have weathered trials, surgeries, losses, and then have also experienced great victories and celebrations. There is tremendous memories to be shared.
For those of you who are married, your spouse should be your best friend. They should be the one who you are discussing life problems with first. They don’t have to be the only one but they should be the first one!
The older I get, the more I appreciate the special friendship the Lord has given me- the ones I am building I am doing everything I can to build a strong foundation that will never collapse because I have built it on Jesus Christ as Lord of my Lord.
To those special people- you protect it, you will nurture it, you will raise them up to the Lord so that they will continue to grow with the strength of the Lord.
It is not based on the failures of others who were there, it is based upon the foundation that was built together under the authority and power of the Lord Jesus!
To those that have those relationships realize that the best is not behind you in the rearview mirror it is ahead of you with Jesus as Lord of it.
So let me ask each of you a question….
How many new acquaintances do you have? You have to start somewhere!
Have you reached out to know new people and allow new people into your lives? Or do you only hang with people that you are comfortable with?
Do you try new things so that you can meet new people?
Do you get involved with classes and small groups
Ever wonder how some places find those perfect people to be greeters as people come into the church or their place of business- it is not by accident. Some people that is a gift that they can find a common denominator and talk with someone. We all need to be looking for some common denominators to open up conversations with new people in our lives.
Acquaintances (Just met) is where the Lord begins to show us and use us to speak into other people lives.
You have to start with how’s the weather conversations before you will be allowed into the personal lives of some to speak into the spiritual things going on in their lives.
Some of you have struggled with friends because you have never let them into your life.
You have shut the door to opening up your heart and everyone is a casual friendship that can be discarded because they are not involved in your life.
Some do not have friends because they burn the bridge that brings friends and keep friends.
So looking again to the elements of looking into life choices- strategy, tactics, and routine operations, here are some things to think about this morning and I will have scripture text for each.
Friends are made
“Friends are friends forever if the lord is lord of them”
Lyrics/ Michael W. Smith
“And friends are friends forever If the Lord's the Lord of them And a friend will not say never' Cause the welcome will not end. Though it's hard to let you go In the Father's hands we know That a lifetime's not too long To live as friends.”
Strategy
I decided a long time ago that I was going to set up around me people of integrity and good character. I determined that I was going to have around me people that would build me up and not tear me down. It was intentional.
I say that friends are made because you have two people intentionally working on that relationship. You don’t leave that relationship to chance. You don’t hope it all works out, you work it out…
Proverbs 12:26
“The righteous choose their friends carefully, but the way of the wicked leads them astray.”
You choose who will be around you realizing that those that do not know Jesus in your circle of influence will cause you to stumble not allow you to grow spiritually.
Proverbs 13:20
“Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm.”
Proverbs 22:24-25
“Do not make friends with a hot-tempered person, do not associate with one easily angered, or you may learn their ways and get yourself ensnared.”
1 Corinthians 15:33-34
“Do not be misled: “Bad company corrupts good character.” Come back to your senses as you ought, and stop sinning; for there are some who are ignorant of God—I say this to your shame.”
Friends are cared for
Friends can help you celebrate the good times and provide support during bad times.
Friends prevent isolation and loneliness and give you a chance to offer needed companionship, too. Friends can also: Increase your sense of belonging and purpose.
They have a track record for being there- you have history together
Friends are God’s way of taking care of us! say Amen!
Good friends care for each other, close friends understand each other, but true friends, stay forever, beyond words, beyond distance, beyond time.
I look at the few friends that are in that category and I see great people who have done a lot of work to make sure that relationship that could have been lost to life circumstances like cancer, divorce, financial ruin, bad decisions, physical health of everyday life.
You come to the table with love, grace, mercy, and a desire to be there for each other.
Close- let me pull this all together-
Some of you have struggled having friends- you have to be a friend to have friends.
Some of you have come to Christ and you are hanging with people who are pulling you down spiritually.
Some have burned some bridges that you needed to come back on and it was not available anymore.
I want you to take a moment this morning to pray that from this time on…your going to build your life around friends that share your faith and that will encourage you to grow in your walk with God-
For some this morning, the Lord is speaking to you that you are to be that kind of friend to someone that you know- you are to get around them and invest time and resources.
They are looking and praying for a person like you to get around them.
Let the Lord use you to answer prayer in someone’s life.
Prayer-
