Keys to a Godly and Joyful Marriage
Study Text: Proverbs 5:18 - 19
Introduction:
- The keys to a godly and joyful marriage is found in the Bible. When its instructions are obeyed, God will bless the union.
- Always remember that God, our Heavenly Father, is the designer and originator of marriage. He is the One who has established this institution for the entire human race.
- Our Lord Himself graced the occasion by His presence at the wedding in Cana of Galilee (Luke 2).
- Marriage is a serious business, which must not be entered into “unadvisedly or lightly; but reverently, discreetly, advisedly, soberly, and in the fear of God.
- Marriage is duly considered as the union of two lives, and the fusion of two hearts. It involves a social union, a domestic union, a physical union and a spiritual union.
- The path of true love never runs smoothly. We must realise that there is no perfect marriage because two imperfect people, with personality defects, sinners saved by grace, are living under the same roof not just for some years but until death separates them.
- Hence in marriage there is a daily process of accommodating each other, and a daily process of keeping up and making up.
God intends Marriage to be enjoyed and not to be endured by the couple. Even though two imperfect persons are living together, yet with Christ in the centre of their hearts and home, there can be peace and harmony that is difficult to explain or understand. The following are some of the keys to a Godly and Joyful Marriage:
1. The Spirit of Forgiveness
- A forgiving spirit is an important key in the marriage relationship because we are commanded by God to forgive others.
- Also, because of the example of Jesus on the Cross, and our own experience of the forgiveness of God in our relationship with Him, there is no limit to God’s forgiveness and so in our dealings with each other, there must be no limit to forgiveness.
- Effect an early reconciliation in any misunderstanding or quarrel. In such case, always remember that because we are human, seldom is husband or wife completely right or wrong. A forgiving spirit is, therefore, necessary on both sides to resolve any conflict. It requires a spirit of humility, of loving submission to each other and together submitting to the Lord.
2. Spiritual Compatibility:
- How can two walk together if they are not compatible spiritually (Amos 3:3; 2 Cor 6:14).
- Many marriages have been dissolved because this important injunction has not been obeyed. It is in accordance with the Word of God and His will to marry in the Lord. This is the most important key for a godly and successful marriage.
3. The Leaving and the Cleaving:
- Establish your own home as soon as possible because marriage involves a “leaving and cleaving” (Genesis 2:24).
- No matter how nice and understanding your in-laws may be, “familiarity breeds contempt”. Even with the best of intentions on both parties for their mutual welfare, they can sometimes be misconstrued as unnecessary interference.
- You should also endeavour to keep certain family matters private and within the confines of your newly established home.
4. Commitment to Spiritual Growth.
- One key evidence of a successful marriage is that the marriage makes you to get closer to God than when you are single.
- Encourage each other in your walk with the Lord for mutual edification, keeping in close communion with Him through the reading of His Word and through prayer and fellowship with others of the household of faith.
- By so doing, you will grow in grace and in the knowledge of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ (2 Peter 3: 18).
- Set your priorities right. Give God first place in your life; first place with your time; first place with your talents; and first place with your treasure.
- When you seek God first in anything pertaining to His kingdom and righteousness, all that you need will be provided for. When you so honour Him, He will honour you. Matthew 6:33
5. Wholehearted Trust
- A healthy marriage cannot be built and sustained without trust. Trust toward one another is vital. Marital trust has three basic levels. Each of these levels is weighted in importance.
The first level is that of fidelity. A married person must be able to trust that his or her spouse will remain faithful in the marriage. God placed such an importance on this area of trust in marriage that He made not committing adultery one of the Ten Commandments.
- The second level of trust is that of honesty. A husband or wife should be able to trust that his or her partner will be honest. A spouse must be honest about who they are, what they’re feeling and thinking, and about their successes and failures. There should be no hiding from one another. They should be able to trust each other to tell the truth.
- The third level of trust has to do with behaviours. A husband or wife generally wants to trust that his or her spouse will behave in certain ways toward him or her. One wants to trust the other to meet needs, to treat with respect, to be patient and to consider him or her in daily activities.
6. Great Respect, Honour and Value
- Respect is the way a person treats something he or she values. If something is highly valued, a person will treat it with honour and dignity. One does not mistreat it or discard it.
- Without respect marriage partners feel devalued. That devaluation causes coldness toward one another. 1 Peter 2:17
- Now, if it is true that one respects what one values, then it can be expected that a husband and wife, will show respect to each other.
- The goal is to first of all choose to value one’s spouse, then to learn how to show him or her respect in a way he or she will understand and appreciate.
7. Financial Trust and Transparency
- Entrust your finance to the Lord, for it is He who gives you the power to get wealth (Deuteronomy 8:18).
- Establish a mutual trust in money matters. From the onset, decide whether you wish to pool your resources in a joint bank account or keep a separate account so that you can use freely as you see fit. Keep in mind that whatever you possess comes from God, the Giver of every good and perfect gift (James 1: 17).
- Most frequently, difficulties arise in family finances because two persons, with different sets of financial values, and different attitudes towards money, can very readily disagree on how money is to be used. What one regards as a luxury, the other may consider a necessity.
8. Selflessness and Commitment to Sexual Intimacy.
- Give your body freely for sexual intimacy by always desiring to please the other partner.
- Sex is not a reward you give for well doing, neither is it a punishment you administer for wrong doing. If you must excuse yourself, let it be with sincere apologies.
- Enforce the bond of marriage because it is the gracious design of God, the Originator of marriage, that the couple remain faithful to each other and to God whatever their circumstances of life.
9. Be Faithful and Committed to Scriptural Standards.
- Be aware that God has His standard of operations for both partners in marriage, and be willing to operate by it at all costs.
- Edify each other by communicating and demonstrating God’s love at home and in public. The husband should love his wife with the same selfless and sacrificial love that Christ has so demonstrated on the Cross. The wife is to respond in the same manner.
- It is said that marriage is a two-way street of communication, consideration and cooperation; lack of which produces a great divisive factor in the marriage. It is always good to say something nice to each other everyday, and avoid whatever displeases the other partner as much as possible.
- The will of God and instructions for a godly and successful marriage are found in the Word of God which is a lamp unto your feet and a light unto your path (Psalms 119:105).
- But it cannot be a blessing to your marriage if you do not act and work upon it to achieve what God, the Originator of marriage, has so designed for and desired of you, working out to His own glory and honour.
