This past Wednesday, we celebrated Valentine’s Day. So it seems appropriate that we talk about a prayer about growing love since the idea of love is on people’s minds. I had to chuckle when I saw this meme on Facebook and shared it with someone who had posted to see if anyone would like to be their valentine this year. I think sometimes we try too hard to find love by looking in all the wrong places.
Now, how do you feel when someone tells you, “I love you?” I googled the question and found that someone had already asked it on Quora and had a number of interesting responses. It comes down to who is saying it, when they’re saying it, and how they’re saying it, right?
Your reaction may be different depending on whether it’s your significant other, a friend who genuinely cares, your crush whom you didn’t think was even aware of your interest, a person who is looking for a favor, or a child in the middle of getting in trouble. Depending on the situation, your reaction may be a warm and fuzzy feeling, you may get suspicious, feel affectionate, angry, or even awkward.
A couple weeks ago after youth group, a small group of teens were standing around talking. When one of them got ready to leave, they told the others, “I love you.” After a moment of silence, another teen responded, “You need to add, ‘In Christ,’ that way it’s not weird.” I later had to explain to one of them that yes, we’re commanded to love everyone because we are Christians, and yes, we should be able to simply tell each other, “I love you,” but the people in that group wanted to make sure that no one was taking what they were saying as a romantic gesture.
Our reaction comes down to understanding the intent of the person who is expressing their love. As we look at our text today, we see that Paul’s motivation to pray for the church at Philippi is love. He begins by telling them in verses 3-4 that he gives thanks to God and is full of joy as he prays on their behalf. What motivates him to pray this way?
We see in verse 5 that it’s the partnership in ministry between Paul and the church of Philippi. Luke shares about the beginning of this partnership in Acts 16 when he writes about Paul’s time in Philippi, how the Holy Spirit had prevented Paul from going to Asia and other areas before having a vision of a man calling him to come to Macedonia. Once there, Paul and Silas met Lydia at a place of prayer near the river and led her to Christ. When they cast the demon out of a slave girl who was telling everyone to listen to their gospel message, her owners get upset and have them thrown into jail. While singing God’s praises in jail, an earthquake releases all the prisoners, but the jailer finds that none have left. He tends to Paul and Silas and is baptized into Christ.
The Philippians partnered with Paul with financial gifts, even when no other church was helping him out. While he was in prison, they sent him Epaphroditus to tend to his needs. Paul partnered with Philippi by sending encouragement and advice in this letter and is making plans to send Timothy to continue the work. This partnership brings thanksgiving and joy to Paul as he prays.
In verse 6, Paul describes his confidence of how God is working in the church. I think this is a good reminder for us today. (read Phil 1:6) God has been working in us and through us and will bring that work to completion when Christ returns. Paul has seen what the church has been doing and he is encouraging them to keep going.
In verses 7-8, Paul tells of his affection for the church. He holds them in his heart. He recognizes how they’ve been with him through it all. They were there for him while he was in prison, they were there with him in proclaiming the gospel. So now, as he’s writing from prison, his desire is to be with them in Philippi.
Having shared his motivation, Paul proceeds to pray for the church in verse 9 that their love may abound more and more. Just like our youth felt the need to be clear what they meant when they said, “I love you,” Greek has a few different words to describe different nuances to love. The word that Paul uses here is agape. It carries the idea of being a selfless love, the kind of love that was demonstrated by Christ on the cross.
Paul describes this love a little more deeply in chapter 2 as he encourages the church to humbly put others ahead of themselves and follow the example of Jesus, who was willing to give up His place in heaven, take on human form, and be obedient even to death on a cross. The result was that God exalted Christ so that every knee will bow and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord. That is the example we’re to follow.
C.S. Lewis put it this way. Love is not affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved person’s ultimate good as far as it can be obtained. Paul recognized this and prayed, not simply that they grow in love, but this love would be characterized by knowledge and discernment.
The description of love growing in knowledge and discernment was cause to pause. In fact, at lunch this week, every one of us brought up the question of what did Paul meant. We discussed various options and here’s where I landed.
Love and knowledge need to be in balance. (read 1 Corinthians 8:1) Knowledge by itself puffs a person up, while love builds up the people around you. (read 1 John 3:18) Love is more than just words, it’s having the knowledge to take appropriate action. As someone stated, life isn’t about having a full heart with an empty head, nor having an empty heart with a full head, but having both a full heart and a full head. Think of it this way, when Dorothy was trying to get to the Wizard of Oz, she needed both the heartless Tin Man and the brainless Scarecrow to complete her mission and make it back home.
I’m reminded of a time when Hannah decided to try out for the lead part in the junior high musical. She brought a piece of sheet music home to practice for the tryouts and asked me to help her. Now, at that stage in her development, she had a hard time hearing a song’s melody and staying in tune. We practiced for a while and she improved, but I was concerned that her tryout wouldn’t go so well and she’d be devastated. I tried to be encouraging, told her to give it her best shot, and not to be disappointed if they chose someone else for the part.
The next day, she came home with a very crestfallen look on her face. She called me over and told me, “Daddy, we need to talk.” Her tryout didn’t go very well and she didn’t get the part and it was because I wasn’t very supportive when we were practicing and had I been more positive she would likely have gotten the part. It just so happened that a new season of American Idol was starting that night, so I asked her to sit down and watch with me.
The first act was a couple of teenage boys that couldn’t carry a tune in a bucket. The judges critiqued their performance and turned them down. When they stepped out to the interview room, they went on and on about how awful the judges were because all their friends had told them how wonderful they sang so the judges couldn’t possibly know what they were doing. I turned to Hannah and asked her if she would have preferred that I had built her up like those boys’ friends had done or if it was better that I had been realistic about what to expect. She thanked me for being honest and gave me a hug. You see, I love my daughter with all my heart, but knowing what was likely to go down at the tryout, I couldn’t set her up with false hope.
As Paul is praying for the church to grow in love with knowledge and discernment, he describes a maturation process that takes place in verses 10-11. This love leads to being able to approve what is excellent. John provides an example of how this works in 1 John 4:1 (read). We need to test the spirits to discern what is truly of God and what is coming from other sources. Paul is talking about not only being able to determine right from wrong, but also what is good, better, and best- the excellent.
Being able to approve what is excellent leads to being pure and blameless. We have been told to be holy because God is holy, so we are striving to be like Him. (read Philippians 2:15) This verse tells us that when we are blameless, we are lights in a dark and twisted world. Because we are living to imitate Christ, we will stand out- people will notice and become curious. They will want to know more because light overcomes darkness.
Being pure and blameless then leads to being filled with the fruit of righteousness. We find the characteristics of this fruit listed in Galatians 5:23-23 (read). The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Notice the word in both cases is singular- fruit. Galatians has a list of nine items, but they are the components of one thing- fruit.
As people mature in love that abounds with knowledge and discernment, the goal is to glorify and praise God. Once again, Paul reminds the church it’s not about us, it’s about Christ. We grow in love to draw people to Jesus.
This month’s sermon series has been titled Pray Like Paul. We saw today that Paul was motivated by his affection for the church to pray that their love will grow to abound with knowledge and discernment. I got to thinking, what if we were to take the time to use this passage as a template for a prayer of our own? And so I did. Here goes:
Scott, Terri, Hannah, and Elizabeth Jewell, in service to our Lord Jesus Christ,
To the elders, deacons, and saints of the Church of Christ at Logansport:
Grace and peace to you from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.
I thank God every time I think of you, praying with joy because God has given us the occasion to partner together in ministry to our community. You welcomed me and my family into your family at a time where we were hurting and needed to heal. You provided a space in which that could happen. Your willingness to partner with me by allowing me to pursue unique ways to be involved in the community- be it time spent visiting students at lunch, coaching sports, or calling McDonald’s my office.
Your desire to reach our community by providing opportunities for people to come to events like KidsFest and our monthly lunches where they can get to know our church family and, by extension, our Savior Jesus Christ amazes me. God has amazing things for us in the future, and as we continue to pray for the 500, I am confident He will complete the good work that He has begun here.
I pray for you that you will continue to grow in love for one another, for our God, and for our community. I pray that we will shine as bright lights so that when people see us, they see Christ. To Him be all the glory for what happens in this place because of this family, His family. In Jesus’ name, amen.
I want to challenge you to take some time this wee to sit down and form your own prayer for our congregation. Thank God for the good things you’ve found here. Pray for the church to continue to grow in love. As you do so, consider what is your part in making these things happen. Let’s pray.
So how do we get to know the love of God? I’ve seen how not to do it. When Terri and I were beginning to minister in St. Louis, we took the time to visit the other churches in the community to see what partnerships might be available. There was one church we attended that the preacher’s sermon was only one sentence repeated over and over until people began falling out. He closed the service by inviting people to make an appointment to meet in his office so they could come to know the true love of God. It felt creepy because he made it sound like there was a big secret that only he knew and most of the people in the audience were female. In actuality, it’s very easy to come to know the love of God. It begins with belief in who Jesus is, repentance from your sin, confession that Jesus is Lord, baptism in the water, and growing in His love. We want to give you the opportunity to act on that now. No secrets, no hidden meetings- we’re going to stand and sing our next song, if you need to begin your new life with Jesus, come forward.
