What is love? What is it really? And how do we know we have it for one another? Especially when it comes to the one we consider marrying? God's Word is clear on what love is and what love is not. I'll tell you one thing though; love is not ANYTHING the world says it is! The world would have you believe that love is this and that. That love is all about feelings. It isn't. The world would have you believe that there such things as love "experts". There isn't. Now how do I know that? Simple really. The Bible says that GOD is love. So, in my book, anyone who claims to be a love "expert" is saying they're an expert on God. And we all know there's no such thing as that as far as mankind is concerned.
In fact, there is only ONE expert on God and He's the SON of the living God! There's only One person Who knows God better than anyone on the face of this earth and He is the King of kings, the Lord of lords, the Lion of the Tribe of Judah! Which makes Him MY Tribal Chief and the Head of the ONLY Table that matters! The Lord Jesus Christ of Nazareth! Who was and is and is to come! The Lord of all! The Prince of peace! The Rose of Sharon! Our Savior! Our Redeemer! The Holy One of Israel! Somebody shout unto God where you are today!
Jesus is the foremost expert on the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob! John chapter one tells us, "In the beginning was the Word. And the Word was with God. And the Word was God. NOTHING was made without Him. In Him was life and that life was the light of all mankind"! Simply put, if Jesus ain't in it, it ain't real! If Jesus ain't in it, it is not of God! You cannot love someone without the love of God in you first. You cannot give what you do not have! God is the source of all things through His Son, Jesus! So, the next time you consider someone to marry, look for Jesus! If they don't bring Jesus to the table, RUN!!!!
Let's read our text for today, 1 Corinthians 13:4-13, "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know, in part, and we prophesy, in part, but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know, in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love."
Let's pray: "Father God, God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, we come to You today in the Name of Your Son, Jesus. We ask You, Father, to fill our hearts with Your love, with Your peace and with Your understanding. Let Your Word fill our hearts and minds with the knowledge You have for us. Touch every person here today. Let them be filled with Your Glory and revelation of Your Holy Spirit. Open every eye, every ear and every heart to see, hear, and receive the things of God today. In Jesus Holy Name we pray." Let all of God's people say, "Amen!"
Another Valentines Day has come and gone. Many people shopped relentlessly to find the perfect gift for their wives, girlfriends and fiancé's. They wanted this Valentines Day to be even better than the last. Many couples walked the aisles of churches and cathedrals all around the world to say, "I do." For most couples, it was their wedding anniversary. Most churches had a special services for couples to renew their wedding vows. Many pastors and preachers stood in the pulpits the Sunday before Valentines Day to preach a message much like this one. A message about love and what love is. What the Lord expects out of a Godly husband and wife. It was a week filled with echoes of love in the air.
Unfortunately for some, it was also a painful reminder that their loved ones were no longer with them. Some left by way of divorce. Others by death. Either way, many people felt the sorrow of the void left in their lives by that special someone that was no longer with them. The Bible records in Genesis 2:18 that God said, "It is not good for man to be alone." Ladies, let me tell you, in the Bible, what goes for the man, goes for the woman! Many women today have renounced love and marriage all together! They have the self absorbed mentality that says, "I don't need a man to take care of me!" "I don't need a man just to have him cheat on me!" "I don't need a man to help me with anything!" "I don't need a man! I'd rather stay single!"
Here's the trouble with that mentality, that mentality will lead down a road of temptation and loneliness! Many women who think along those lines end up in homosexual relationships. Relationships that are an abomination in the eyes of God according to Leviticus 18. God is not in that and He will not condone that, nor will He bless that! To commit an act of abomination like that is to commit an act of defiance to God Himself! You might as well spit in the face of God to live such a lifestyle! God will not honor it! He will not accept it! And His love will be nowhere near it! Stop it!
But the area of love I want to focus on today is one I have recently been reminded of. It's the area of love that sees people in the church, family and friends interjecting their own self inflated opinion of how their friend, family member or church goer who is looking for someone to marry. Like Job's friends, they push their own self drawn out conclusions on someone trying to convince them why they shouldn't be with this person or that person. It's the area of love where friends and family try to convince their friend or family member that they should get out a relationship for no other reason than THEY don't approve of the man or woman! Let me tell you something, if you're one of those people trying to convince a friend or family member to dump someone they're seeing just because YOU don't approve of them, STOP IT!!!
You don't know that person. You may think you do, but in the long run, if you really think about it, all you know about them is what OTHERS have told you! You haven't tried to get to know that person yourself, have you? I have seen people in the church look their pointed noses down at someone their friend or relative is dating and come to find out the only reason they didn't approve of that man or woman is because of how they dressed when they came to church! They didn't approve of that man or woman just because they had tattoos! They didn't approve of that man or woman because they didn't wear a suit and tie to church like THEY think they should! Here's the harsh truth to all you hypocrites who have put someone down for reasons like that, the only reason you don't approve of them is because YOU judged them by the WORLD'S standards! Not Gods!
Job's friends came to him to comfort him after he lost his wealth and his family. When they got there, all they could say to their friend was, "You or your sons must have sinned against God! Why else would He punish you like this?" They judged the matter based on nothing but their own inflated opinion of their own intellect! They thought they knew so much about God. They were convinced no one was as wise as they were! They never once considered the notion that they could be dead wrong! And it wasn't till God showed up on the scene and spoke to Job out of the whirlwind that they were all set straight!
God asked Job in Job 38:4, "Where were you when I laid the foundations of the earth?" God was asking Job, "What makes you such an expert on Me that you have taken it upon yourself to question Me?" Many people in the church today have that same mentality when it comes to God. They think they know so much about God and His Word, that they believe they can form their own opinions and conclusions as to what God is trying to tell someone! Let me tell you something, NO ONE is THAT good! Even the Bible says in Romans 3:10-12, “There is no one righteous, not even one; there is no one who understands; there is no one who seeks God. All have turned away, they have together become worthless; there is no one who does good, not even one.”
What am I saying? What I'm saying is that if you want to truly know God's Will for your life, whether it be about marrying someone or what job to take, or how to live your life for God, why go to man when you can go to God Himself? James 1:5-6, look at what the Amplified Version says, "If any of you lacks wisdom [to guide him through a decision or circumstance], he is to ask of [our benevolent] God, who gives to everyone generously and without rebuke or blame, and it will be given to him. But he must ask [for wisdom] in faith, without doubting [God’s willingness to help], for the one who doubts is like a billowing surge of the sea that is blown about and tossed by the wind."
God will use people in the church to minister to you, that's unquestionable. But, we must be careful WHO we allow to minister to us. Matthew 17:15-20, again I want us to see the Amplified Version; “Beware of the false prophets, [teachers] who come to you dressed as sheep [appearing gentle and innocent], but inwardly are ravenous wolves. By their fruit you will recognize them [that is, by their contrived doctrine and self-focus]. Do people pick grapes from thorn bushes or figs from thistles? Even so, every healthy tree bears good fruit, but the unhealthy tree bears bad fruit. A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a bad tree bear good fruit. Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. Therefore, by their fruit you will recognize them [as false prophets]."
Now, how does that apply to Godly council for seeking a spouse? Don't ask for marital advice from someone who has been divorced multiple times, let alone one who has never married at all. What could they possibly know about marriage? The first person has obviously failed miserably at it and the other has never even experienced marriage. What council could they possibly give you? Oh sure, people say all the time, "Those who can't do teach." But what are they teaching? How to fail at marriage? How to end up divorced after 5 years? How to pick the wrong person to marry? Seriously? What council could such a person possibly have? Absolutely none!
But the Bible says to ask of God when we lack wisdom. And I love what the Amplified Version said there, "By their FRUIT you will recognize them. That is, by their CONTRIVED doctrine and SELF-focus]. In other words, false prophets will be so obvious to the people of God who have prayed to Him for wisdom and council, they could pick one out blindfolded! Now, let me rattle your cage a little bit here. MOST OF THESE PEOPLE, THESE FALSE PROPHETS, ARE IN THE CHURCH ITSELF! We must be extremely careful who we have fellowship with. I know people who met someone in the church, thought they were sent by God to marry them, and when they married, that person quickly changed into a horrible, horrible person! One person I know told me they met this man in church. And he did everything in the church. He sang in the choir, he was in the prayer line praying for people at the altar, he did everything a seemingly Godly man would do. But when they got married, he changed. He became controlling over her, he became verbally abusive to her. The man turned out to be a monster!
I remember going to the church I was attending many years ago and saw police cars outside! I went in to the church, almost everything was gone! The coffee stand was gone, the book store was gone, all the decor on the walls were gone. Come to find out the pastor of that church at the time had been removed by the board as pastor of the church and they had another preacher come in to preach that Sunday. Literally half the people there stood up and walked out. Turns out what happened was the pastor, who was married and had 3 or 4 children, was having an affair with another associate pastors wife! And this is why the board asked him to step down.
And this man was a great preacher! He preached the Word, he taught the Word, and all the time, he was doing this abominable thing! Just goes to show you that even the seemingly most untouchable people in the church can fall into sin just as easily as you and I. Found out later, that there were others in the church having extramarital affairs. There was a spirit of lust and adultery loose in the church! Needless to say I left that church and never went back.
But, I sought the Lord for wisdom in the situation. I went on a time of prayer and fasting to seek God's Will for my life concerning where I should go to church. And the Lord spoke to me about 2 weeks later and said, "Can you trust the Pastor?" I said, "No." The Lord asked, "Why not?" I said, "Because he betrayed not only his wife, but he betrayed us all by doing what he did and still preached in the pulpit." Then the Lord asked me, "Can you trust the church itself?" Meaning the congregation. Again, I said, "No." And again, the Lord asked me, "Why not?" I said, "Because they said they would let him speak that morning to announce his departure and explain the situation. That basically, they were going to give him the chance to leave peacefully and on a good note and instead, they literally lynched this man! I'm not condoning what he did, but they said they were going to let him speak and leave in peace, but instead they called the cops on him and barred him from the building. This whole situation was handled all wrong." Then God asked me, "What would you have done instead?" I told Him, "I would have asked him to step down as Pastor and work with him and his wife to try to help them heal from this and minister to them. I would have gladly let him speak and say his goodbyes to everyone. I wouldn't have told them what he had done because that was none of their business, but I would have tried to help him rather than condemn him and that's what the staff of the church did was condemn him. It reminded me of the woman caught in the act of adultery and all the religious leaders were ready to stone her!"
After that, God told me that I have my answer. I couldn't go back because the trust I had in the church was broken and I needed to be where God would be free to minister. I didn't want to make the decision for myself. I wanted God to tell me what I should do and where I should go. I didn't want to make a decision and have it be the wrong one. I lacked wisdom in that area. So, I obeyed the Scriptures and sought the Lord for wisdom. And He gave it to me. Praise the Lord!
I didn't go to a fellow Christian for advice. I didn't go to man for wisdom. I went to God. And God gave me the wisdom I needed. He lead me to another church and the first time I walked in that building, I felt like I was home for the first time in a long, long time!
I know a woman who told her husband at the time that her friends in the church were telling her not to marry him because he would only hurt her. They didn't even know the man. And they're casting this kind of doubt on her towards him. But, she told him something that shook me to the core! She told him she married him to prove those friends of her wrong! That's no basis to marry someone! That's crazy! Why would you do that? If you have any doubts about marrying someone, don't marry them. And don't go to your family and friends for advice because they don't know the man or woman you're marrying. How could they? Instead, go to God for wisdom. Turn to the Scriptures for advice.
I've noticed over the years that so many people take Scripture and twist up so much that they draw such an outrageous conclusion from it. A conclusion that only pulls them away from God instead of drawing them closer to Him. And God's World makes it so clear what kind of person to marry. So, why do we complicate it a twist it into something it's not?
You want to know what kind of person to marry? You want to know WHO to marry? Go to the Bible and don't look for any hidden meanings in it. If there is something more to a Scripture than what you read, let the Holy Spirit show you. You really don't even have to ask Him, He'll do it because God wants Him to show you. Don't look for someone who will tell you what THEY think you should do. Look for the one who will ask you, "What does the Bible say about this?" You want to know if the man or woman you're seeing is, "the one"? Look for the one that will ALWAYS go to the Bible for the answers. That's the safest bet you'll have. The one who turns to the Word is the one you should listen to!
Now, another problem that I want to address is the reasons people get married. And do I have a earth shattering revelation for you! NEVER marry to be happy, have joy in your life, and to feel secure in your life! That is NOT the purpose of marriage! That is the benefit of it. When you marry to be happy and have joy in your life and feel secure, you are turning God's intent for marriage upside down! And that kind of marriage will NEVER survive!
The purpose of marriage is to reflect the image of God. The purpose of marriage is to carry out the Will of God for your life. Malachi 2:13-15, "And this is the second thing you do: You cover the altar of the Lord with tears, with weeping and crying; So, He does not regard the offering anymore, nor receive it with goodwill from your hands. Yet you say, “For what reason?” Because the Lord has been witness between you and the wife of your youth, with whom you have dealt treacherously; Yet she is your companion and your wife by covenant. But did He not make them one, Having a remnant of the Spirit? And why one?
He seeks godly offspring. Therefore, take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously with the wife of his youth."
God seeks godly offspring! That means children. This is what the Bible is referring to in Genesis 2:18-24, where is says for this reason, a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife. "Now the Lord God said, “It is not good (beneficial) for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper [one who balances him—a counterpart who is] suitable and complementary for him.” So, the Lord God formed out of the ground every animal of the field and every bird of the air and brought them to Adam to see what he would call them; and whatever the man called a living creature, that was its name. And the man gave names to all the livestock, and to the birds of the air, and to every animal of the field; but for Adam there was not found a helper [that was] suitable (a companion) for him. So, the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam; and while he slept, He took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh at that place. And the rib which the Lord God had taken from the man He made (fashioned, formed) into a woman, and He brought her and presented her to the man. Then Adam said, “This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh; She shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.” For this reason, a man shall leave his father and his mother and shall be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh."
The reason a man shall leave his Mom and Dad and cling to his wife is because God seeks Godly offspring. And if God is seeking it, Satan is seeking it as well. That's why our youth is so lost today. We have failed at our job to raise them up in the way they should go as the Bible says to do. Instead, we have ignored them. We've put I-Pads and I-Pods and laptops in their hands, we've put cell phones in their hands to distract them so we don't have to deal with them! We've literally handed our children over the enemy! What are we doing, people?!
The purpose of marriage is to reflect the very image of God! How do we do that? Through children. God seeks Godly offspring. See how clear the Scriptures make our purpose as married couples? Now, something else. Ladies! I have a revelation for those of you who believe God has a man for you. 1 Corinthians 11:7-12, "A man ought not to cover his head, since he is the image and glory of God; but woman is the glory of man. For man did not come from woman, but woman from man; NEITHER WAS MAN CREATED FOR WOMAN, BUT WOMAN FOR MAN. It is for this reason that a woman ought to have authority over her own head, because of the angels. Nevertheless, in the Lord woman is not independent of man, nor is man independent of woman. For as woman came from man, so also man is born of woman. But everything comes from God."
EVERYTHING comes from God! Did you catch that? Everything comes from God. Love, health, life, favor, blessings, prosperity, they all come from God! So, why would we look for it out in the world? We go into the world to find what God has for us, we will never find it! Instead, we'll either get a cheap knock off or just the opposite! Always go to God for what you are looking for and He will show you where it is. And if it's a spouse, He will show WHO it is by their fruits. Stop looking for the man behind the mask! And start looking for the man or woman of God! The one who brings Jesus to the table, the one who ALWAYS go to the WORD for answers, the one who ALWAYS puts their trust and their faith in God is the one who bears good fruit! Hallelujah!!!
Paul writes in 2 Corinthians 6:11-18, "Our mouth is open to you, Corinthians. Our heart is enlarged. You are not restricted by us, but you are restricted by your OWN affections. Now in return, I speak as to my children: you also open your hearts. Don’t be unequally yoked with unbelievers, for what fellowship do righteousness and iniquity have? Or what fellowship does light have with darkness? What agreement does Christ have with Belial? Or what portion does a believer have with an unbeliever? What agreement does a temple of God have with idols? For you are a temple of the living God. Even as God said, “I will dwell in them and walk in them. I will be their God and they will be my people. Therefore, come out from among them, and be separate,’ says the Lord. ‘Touch no unclean thing. I will receive you. I will be to you a Father. You will be to me sons and daughters,’ says the Lord Almighty."
Now what is so complicated about that? Don't be unequally yoked with unbelievers! Don't marry them! What fellowship has light with darkness when darkness is always hiding from the light?! You are a temple of the Most High God! So, why would you marry a temple of idols and idolatry? COME OUT FROM AMONG THEM AND BE SEPERATE!!! Is there any hidden meaning in that verse of Scripture? Of course not. Paul is simply saying don't marry someone who does not believe. It's not an option on a multiple-choice quiz you need to take to advance to the next level! So, why are so determined to arrive at the most complicated, messed up explanation to something that just spells it right out?
If you're looking for a spouse, it's so much easier than you think it is. The Bible says, "You will know them by their fruit." What does that mean? The perfect analogy I always go to for that answer is when Jesus confronted the Teachers of the Law and Pharisees with the 7 woes in Matthew 23:13-36, “Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You shut the door of the kingdom of heaven in people’s faces. You yourselves do not enter, nor will you let those enter who are trying to. Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You travel over land and sea to win a single convert, and when you have succeeded, you make them twice as much a child of hell as you are. Woe to you, blind guides! You say, ‘If anyone swears by the temple, it means nothing; but anyone who swears by the gold of the temple is bound by that oath.’ You blind fools! Which is greater: the gold, or the temple that makes the gold sacred? You also say, ‘If anyone swears by the altar, it means nothing; but anyone who swears by the gift on the altar is bound by that oath.’ You blind men! Which is greater: the gift, or the altar that makes the gift sacred? Therefore, anyone who swears by the altar swears by it and by everything on it. And anyone who swears by the temple swears by it and by the one who dwells in it. And anyone who swears by heaven swears by God’s throne and by the one who sits on it. Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You give a tenth of your spices—mint, dill and cumin. But you have neglected the more important matters of the law—justice, mercy and faithfulness. You should have practiced the latter, without neglecting the former. You blind guides! You strain out a gnat but swallow a camel. Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You clean the outside of the cup and dish, but inside they are full of greed and self-indulgence. Blind Pharisee! First clean the inside of the cup and dish, and then the outside also will be clean. Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You are like whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside but on the inside are full of the bones of the dead and everything unclean. In the same way, on the outside you appear to people as righteous but, on the inside, you are full of hypocrisy and wickedness. Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You build tombs for the prophets and decorate the graves of the righteous. And you say, ‘If we had lived in the days of our ancestors, we would not have taken part with them in shedding the blood of the prophets.’ So, you testify against yourselves that you are the descendants of those who murdered the prophets. Go ahead, then, and complete what your ancestors started! “You snakes! You brood of vipers! How will you escape being condemned to hell? Therefore, I am sending you prophets and sages and teachers. Some of them you will kill and crucify; others you will flog in your synagogues and pursue from town to town. And so, upon you will come all the righteous blood that has been shed on earth, from the blood of righteous Abel to the blood of Zechariah son of Berekiah, whom you murdered between the temple and the altar. Truly I tell you, all this will come on this generation."
Notice how Jesus pointed out their hypocrisy? All the hypocritical things they did? Those boys had some stank smelling fruit, didn't they? This is what we are to look for, not only in finding a spouse, but in all things. Look for that stank smelling fruit. Jesus told the people that they are to do everything the Teachers of the Law of Moses and Pharisees tell them to do because they sit in Moses' seat. Then He told them NOT to do as THEY do, because they don't practice what they preach. That's how you know a false prophet. Look for the hypocrisy in them. If they say one thing and do another, they're a hypocrite, aren't they? Don't do as they do.
The bad fruit of a false prophet is not hard to find. Most times, it's staring you right in the face! Like the Pastor I told you about. His fruit was plain to those close to him. And it was bad fruit. He did practice what he preached. He preached about being faithful to your spouse and how husbands are to love their wives as Christ loves the church and what did he do? He did not practice what he preached because he went and had an affair with a woman who was also married. Married to a friend of this Pastor's. The man turned out to be a hypocrite! How many hypocrites are in the church today? Pray for them. Pray God will expose them, convict them, and lead them to repentance. Amen? Somebody praise the Lord where you are today!
