Introduction
Video Ill.: Teaching Moment
6 Train a child in the way he should go,
and when he is old he will not turn from
it.
(Proverbs 22, NIV)
We are continuing our study, focusing on the very real truth that Jesus is coming soon.
The gospel and sharing of the gospel should mold the way we shape our home through our traditions. Does this mean that we ought to do catechisms with our children? Does this mean that we need to be more intentional about how we celebrate religious holidays? Perhaps. These are matters of personal preference.
What we do need to do is train our children.
Some translate that first word as “Start” — set the child on the right path — start them out right, and they will not turn from it.
The Daily Study Bible
Proverbs
Pg. 145. © 1986. The Westminster Press, Philadelphia PA.
According to Kenneth Aitken, writer for The Daily Study Bible Commentary Series, Proverbs commentary, writes that the “Hebrew in the second half of [that first] line … simply reads, ‘according to his [the child’s] way’. This could mean that the training must be tailored to fit the needs and aptitudes of the individual child. The wise parent will always keep that in mind.”
At times, it feels like such a daunting task set forth for parents — to train, lead, and guide our children.
Start Small
Source: John Ashcroft. From the files of Leadership.
https://www.preachingtoday.com/illustrations/1997/april/4516.html
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Ask yourself what you would have done if you had inherited New York City as mayor twenty five years ago. Crime was out of control and more than half of the citizens admitted in a survey that they would move out if they could afford to do so. The city was a depressing place, and it must have been a somewhat daunting job to be elected mayor.
Where do you start?
Mayor Rudolph Giuliani started by going after the little things. "I am a firm believer in the theory that 'minor' crimes and 'quality of life' offenses are all part of the larger picture," he explained. Among the first elements to go were the "Squeegee Men," drug-addicted and shady-looking riffraff who personified New York's rough edge. Armed with a soiled rag and a dirty bottle of watered-down Windex, these men would bully and badger motorists for money.
Giuliani said, "We're not going to put up with this anymore," and he brought this intimidation to an end. He then declared war on graffiti, subway panhandlers, loitering, broken windows, and petty vandalism — minor offenses that would have gone unnoticed in days past while the police force was overwhelmed with homicides and violent crime. But Giuliani had a hunch: if you send out a signal that you won't tolerate these minor offenses, people will get the idea that the major offenses will be treated even more seriously.
"One graffiti defacement or one loud radio may not seem like much of a problem, but criminals thrive in chaotic environments," Giuliani explained. "Small problems can be the first step to big trouble. Neighborhoods scarred by graffiti or blasted day and night by boom-box radios will become besieged, vulnerable, and ultimately dangerous places. If police departments surrender on the small issues — using the excuse that they are too busy dealing with 'serious' crime — they soon will find themselves surrendering to the latter as well."
It worked. Giuliani was successful in reducing crime beyond all expectations. Between 1993 and 1996, the murder rate came down almost 50 percent. Robberies plummeted by 42 percent while auto thefts dropped by 46 percent. The streets of New York City became safe in a way that was unimaginable just a few years earlier.
Oftentimes as parents we get "stuck" or lost in the big challenges of life. “What can I do to really get through to my kids?” we wonder, but the truth is if you take care of the little things, the big things will fall into place.
In a family, in a business, in a school — yes, even in big cities — it’s all the same: the importance of the little things outweighs their size.
This morning, we are going to outline four small ways that we can begin to train our children, so that they have the foundation they ultimately need to form a relationship with Jesus as their Lord and Savior, who is coming soon.
First, spend time with your children.
There’s a TV commercial, for what I cannot remember, but one of the scenes is a father sitting on the front porch with his son, who is playing a guitar. And the caption says “You can’t have quality time without quantity time.”
One of the simplest ways to spend time with your children, and your family as a whole, is to eat at least one meal together each day.
Eating Dinner as a Family Reduces Stress
Source: Editor, “Study Finds that Eating Dinner as a Family Makes 91% of Families Less Stressed,” Good News Network (10-27-22)
https://www.preachingtoday.com/illustrations/2023/june/eating-dinner-as-family-reduces-stress.html
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Everyone knows your family can be a pain in the neck sometimes, but research has found that regular family dinners can be the key to reduced stress levels in the household. This was found in a survey by the American Heart Association (AHA), who researches chronic stress which can increase rates for all manner of heart diseases.
Of the 1,000 U.S. adults surveyed in September 2022, 91% of respondents said their family was less stressed when they share meals together. 84% say they wish they could share a meal more often with loved ones.
Dr. Erin Michos said, “Sharing meals with others is a great way to reduces stress, boost self-esteem, and improve social connection, particularly for kids. Chronic, constant stress can also increase your lifetime risk of heart disease and stroke. So, it is important for people to find ways to reduce and manage stress as much as possible, as soon as possible.”
Connecting with friends, family, coworkers and neighbors benefits people beyond stress relief. In fact, the survey found a majority of people say sharing a meal reminds them of the importance of connecting with other people, and say it reminds them to slow down and take a break.
Those surveyed say they are more likely (59%) to make healthier food choices when eating with other people but have difficulty aligning schedules with their friends or family to do so. Overall, respondents reported eating alone about half of the time.
Dr. Michos said, “It’s not always as easy as it sounds to get people together at mealtime. Like other healthy habits, give yourself permission to start small and build from there.”
Eating together as a family takes sacrifice and planning. Start from an early age with your children (but it’s never too late). It’s just one way to spend time with your children.
Put the Cellphones Away!
ChatGPT
Sadly, though, in the hustle and bustle of our modern lives, it's not uncommon for families to gather around the dinner table with one foot in the digital world. Picture this: a family sitting down for a meal, each member engrossed in their individual screens, swiping, typing, and scrolling away. The glow of screens competes with the warmth of shared moments.
Now, imagine a father who decides to take a stand against this digital divide. One evening, he calls for a family meeting and sets a new rule - no cell phones at the dinner table. Initially met with resistance and puzzled expressions, the father gently explains his reasoning.
He shares how the dinner table is a sacred space, a place for connection, nourishment, and the sharing of life. It's not just about feeding our bodies but also about feeding our souls through meaningful conversations, laughter, and the simple joy of being present with one another.
As days go by, the family begins to abide by the new rule. The absence of cell phones opens up a space for genuine conversations, for the sharing of highs and lows, dreams, and daily experiences. They rediscover the art of listening, of making eye contact, and of truly being present with each other.
In this simple act of putting away cell phones, the family experiences a transformation. The dinner table becomes a glimpse of what our relationships with God can be like. The father, in setting this rule, reflects the heart of our Heavenly Father. In our fast-paced, digitalized lives, God calls us to put away the distractions, to silence the noise, and to be fully present with Him.
Just as the dinner table is a place of connection and nourishment for the family, our time with God is a sacred space for spiritual nourishment. It's a time to set aside the distractions, to be fully present in prayer, in reading His Word, and in listening for His voice. When we prioritize this connection, we experience a depth of relationship that goes beyond surface-level interactions.
So, the next time you're tempted to check that notification during dinner, remember the father's rule and the transformed dinner table. Let it be a reminder to put away the distractions, not just during meals but also in our spiritual lives, creating a space for a deeper connection with the One who longs to dine with us and nourish our souls.
It goes beyond just the dinner table. Put the devices down. Turn off the television. Focus on your children and your family.
And the same goes for everyone else, including your children. Put down the devices.
Take time to unplug and disconnect from the electronic world. Find ways to plug into each other and reconnect the relationships we have with each other.
Share activities with your children. Do things together.
Let them know that they are important to you.
Build relationships with your children. In turn, you are showing them how to build a relationship with God.
It was the relationship with my dad that grew during the times we spent together — from riding bicycles, playing video games, or even the times when I would ride along with him in his RC Cola delivery truck.
And these are the things that I remember.
And it is the times you spend with your children that they will remember when the grow older too — that will mean the most to them.
Statistics show that parents that have solid relationships with their children also have children who are less likely to be involved in such things as illegal drugs and alcohol. The children are more likely to talk to their parents about struggles in their lives.
Take time to spend quality time with your children. You can’t have quality without quantity.
2. Second, show that God is important.
Make the choice to put God first in your homes.
Back in the Old Testament, Joshua realizes his time is drawing near, so he calls all of Israel together. He recounts for them all of the wonderful things that God had done for them, going back to the days of Abraham and Isaac. He reminds them that time and again God had provided for them, given them the victory, rewarded their faithfulness. He also reminded them that their rebellion had caused them to wander in the desert for “a long time”, as he said.
Then he challenged the people. In Joshua 24, we read:
14 “Now fear the Lord and serve him with all faithfulness. Throw away the gods your forefathers worshiped beyond the River and in Egypt, and serve the Lord. 15 But if serving the Lord seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your ||forefathers served beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.” (Joshua 24, NIV)
In our lives, God has certainly done many wonderful things for us and for our families. We, too, need those reminders of what God has done for us, of the promises He has faithfully fulfilled, of the hope in Him that we have.
And so, we too, must make that decision for our families: choose today whom you will serve. Will we serve ourselves? Will we serve the world? Will we serve money? Or will we serve God?
When we have made that decision, I pray that it is that you and your household will serve the Lord.
When you have made that decision, make it evident that God is whom you chose.
Pray together.
Read the Bible together.
Attend worship regularly together as a family. And I do not mean just once a year, once a season, or even just once a month. Make worship a family priority.
Model a Godly/Scriptural world view. We do not always need the newest, shiniest, most expensive toy, for example. Instead, we should help others, love others as God has loved us, care for others, do for others.
Be sharing the gospel throughout your day.
Live a life that is different. Let the world know that God is important to you and to your family in the way we live each and every day.
3. Third, this morning, use teachable moments.
Teachable moments are all around us.
I think that is what Moses was trying to say in Deuteronomy. He had just outlined how God wants us to live, through the 10 Commandments. Then he summarizes the lesson to the Israelites by saying this in Deuteronomy 6:
4 Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. 5 Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. 6 These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. 7 Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you || walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. 8 Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. 9 Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates. (Deuteronomy 6, NIV)
Moses is saying that in everything, there is always an opportunity to talk about how God wants us to live.
From the time we get up in the morning, until the time we go to bed, from the time we leave to go to work, school, or just a walk around the block, until the time we come home, there are ways for us to think about God’s Word in our lives. And, these are times when our children will ask questions — questions that lead to teachable moments.
We All Have Questions
Source: Kaushik Patowary, “Before the Internet, What People Asked New York Public Library’s Librarians?” Amusing Planet (7-19-18)
https://www.preachingtoday.com/illustrations/2020/april/we-all-have-questions.html
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Before there was the Internet and Google, the only way to find answers to a pressing question was to visit the local library and ask the all-knowing librarian. A few years ago, the staff at the New York Public Library discovered a box of cards containing questions posed to the librarian by members of the public. The telephone “Ask A Librarian” service was set up in 1967 and operates to this day. And surprisingly, despite people having information at their fingertips these days, the New York Public Library receives roughly 30,000 calls per year.
Help line manager Rosa Caballero-Li said, “People have been reaching out to librarians for as long as there have been libraries. Often time people do not have access to the technology at home, and I think some just want somebody to talk to.”
Among the questions that were discovered in this box were:
What does it mean when you dream you’re being chased by an elephant?
Why do 18th Century English paintings have so many squirrels in them?
If a poisonous snake bites itself, will it die?
Somebody in 1962 was looking for “Charles Darwin's book — Oranges & peaches." The librarian politely directed the person to “On the Origin of Species”.
One person just wanted to know how to put up wallpaper. “I have the paper; I have the paste. What do I do next? Does the paste go on the wall or the paper? I've tried both and it doesn't seem to work.”
"There are no stupid questions," Caballero-Li told NPR. "Everything is a teachable moment. We don't embarrass people; we try to answer any questions they have with honesty and we try to refer them to appropriate resources that they might find useful."
A great approach to use in our families. Be aware and open for those times when teachable moments drop into your lap, so to speak. Be ready for those questions:
Why do we pray for our food?
Why do we have certain rules?
Why do we not go certain places?
Why do we go to church?
Why do we not watch certain TV shows?
Be attune to the world around you, and to the Word of God. Learn from those teachable moments, and teach your children about God’s love for them using those moments.
4. Finally, teach discipline and consequences, with a touch of grace.
Solomon wrote in Proverbs 19:
18 Discipline your children while there is
hope.
Otherwise you will ruin their lives.
(Proverbs 19, NLT)
And in Proverbs 29:
17 Discipline your children, and they will
give you peace of mind
and will make your heart glad.
(Proverbs 29, NLT)
We often think of discipline as punishment. Really, though, discipline is the culmination of teaching, direction, living, failing and succeeding. Discipline is a way of life, not just correction and consequences.
Discipline has the purpose of making us better, making us stronger, making us wiser, bringing us closer into a relationship with Jesus.
Sometimes the teaching and direction is positive guidance. Do this. Go there. Be that.
Sometimes, though, teaching and direction does have to be negative. Do not do that. Stop doing this.
"No" Is a Complete Sentence
Source: Anonymous. Leadership, Vol. 16, no. 2.
https://www.preachingtoday.com/illustrations/1998/february/3634.html
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It’s been said that one of the hardest jobs for a parent is making a child realize that "no" is a complete sentence.
A Young Boy Obeys His Father in Dangerous Traffic
Source: Dave Stone, "Teaching Respect Within the Home," Preaching (July/August 2012)
https://www.preachingtoday.com/illustrations/2012/july/4073012.html
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Dave Stone tells the story that a number of years ago, his family was in the Dominican Republic on a mission trip. He says that driving in a developing country can be dangerous. Vehicles whiz past, coming within just a few feet of children playing close to the road.
One night, he tells, his son Sam was playing a game in his own little world, in which he would zig and zag, back and forth from sidewalk onto the narrow street and back. It wasn't a heavily travelled road; but there was always loud music blaring, and it was pitch dark. From about 10 feet away, Dave suddenly shouted, "Samuel, don't move!"
Immediately Sam froze. About a second later a Moped zipped past him, going 30 mph with no lights on—right where Sam was about to step.
Dave said, “My 6-year-old didn't ignore me, argue, or blatantly disobey. I said freeze, and he froze. That obedience probably saved his life.”
As parents, our goal is that our children would obey us the first time we ask, not the second, third, or fourth time.
Not only is it for their own best interest, but we are also training them for their relationship with God. As followers of Jesus, when we hear our Father's voice, we should obey him the first time he speaks to us.
Sometimes there are consequences to disobedience. That is part of the training and teaching we are providing our children. They have to come to understand the consequences — the results — of what they do or do not do.
We all have to learn that in our lives.
But, there is also an opportunity for us to teach grace as well.
A Father’s Grace
Chatgpt
The story is told that in a small town, much like New Castle, there lived a teenager named Tim. Tim was a curious and adventurous soul, often finding himself in situations that led to trouble. One day, Tim's mischievous antics caught up with him, and he found himself standing before the stern Judge Reynolds in the town's courthouse.
The judge, a figure of authority and justice, listened to the charges against Tim. It was clear that Tim had indeed broken the rules, and the judge, after careful consideration, declared him guilty. The sentence, in accordance with the law and the crime, was a hefty fine, an amount that Tim couldn't possibly afford.
Feeling the weight of his actions, Tim's eyes welled up with tears. As the judge prepared to pronounce the fine, an unexpected turn of events unfolded. The judge, who had maintained a stern demeanor throughout the trial, suddenly softened. He looked at Tim with a compassionate gaze, and a hint of a smile played on his lips.
"Tim, my son," the judge said, revealing a side of him that nobody in the courtroom had seen before. The revelation startled everyone, including Tim. "I am not only the judge in this courtroom; I am also your father. I cannot ignore the rules, and justice must be served, but I love you too much to let you bear the full weight of your mistakes."
With those words, the judge reached into his own pocket and pulled out the exact amount of the fine. He paid it in full, wiping away Tim's debt and freeing him from the consequences of his actions.
The people in the courtroom were astonished by the judge's act of grace. Tim, overwhelmed with gratitude and remorse, hugged his father tightly. The town saw the judge's dual role as both dispenser of justice and a loving father.
This tale of a judge who not only upholds the law but also extends grace to his own son serves as a tremendous reminder that we need to extend grace to our children as well. When we do this with our children, we are being an illustration of God's grace in forgiving our sins, paying the debt we could not pay ourselves. We are teaching our children that despite our mistakes and shortcomings, there is a source of unconditional love and forgiveness.
Conclusion
This morning, as parents, we have the ultimate responsibility of raising our children in such a way that they will develop a relationship with God.
Parental Responsibility
Source: Jesse Jackson, quoted by columnist Roger Simon, (Los Angeles Times Syndicate, June 5, 1988). Christianity Today, Vol. 32, no.
https://www.preachingtoday.com/illustrations/1996/october/337.html
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Jesse Jackson once said, “Renew your hope; love your family. Raise your children, don't abandon them. Cats raise kittens. Dogs raise puppies. Eagles raise their eaglets. Surely man can raise his babies. You have not earned the right not to raise your children! You have not earned the right to do less than your best! Though your knees may buckle sometimes, you never earn the right to surrender!”
Today, we must raise our children in such a way that we are laying a foundation from the earliest of ages.
Give them a good foundation, and when the world rocks their lives, turning them upside, when the waves of doubt and fear batter and bruise them, they’ll have the foundation to stand strong, the faith to keep, the hope of Heaven and the love of God to guide and direct them.
And as I said last week, grandparents, aunts, uncles, extended family, encourage each other and those families with children. Be an example to them. Pray for them as they are raising their children. Show them God’s love so that if they do not follow God today, you may change their lives and the lives of their family.
Train your children — start out your children on the right, we could even say righteous, path — and when they are old, they will not abandon it. That path, though narrow and difficult at times, will lead them to the wide open arms of Jesus.
