Mimi Novic, a female author, therapist, motivational speaker and self-awareness teacher once remarked: “Let's not build walls with our words. Let's stay silent and speak in a language that only our hearts can understand.” Ephesians 4:29 confirms: “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.”
A word is defined as a singular, often distinct, meaningful element of speech or writing used to form a sentence and typically shown with a space on either side when written or printed. It has the scope to be extremely powerful and forms an essential part of a country’s language, no matter what or where that may be. All words have definitive purposes, especially when they are strung together. They purvey information or instructions, they provide knowledge, they reveal thoughts and ideas. They display feelings and intentions. They are a powerful source of communication or contact. Each may be either simplistic or complicated but can perform a particular function and has its own individual meaning. Words can encourage, guide, significantly help or sometimes harm if used indiscriminately. However, they can be a prominent factor in the language of love.
It has been said that there are five important commodities in the language of love. These consist of words of affirmation, gifts, physical touch, acts of service and quality time together. However, although the language of love is primarily concerned with relationships, it is not restricted to just this locus. It may appertain to many general and non-characteristic situations as well. It can not only be deemed as a heartfelt commitment to another, but to society in general. It is welcome in the workplace where one is considerate of others, loving a neighbor as thyself, in the home, living with other family members and also in our prevailing demeanor which constitutes our disposition.
1 Corinthians 13:1-5 confirms: “If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing. Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful.”
Silence is also considered to be an important aspect in the language of love. Silence has its own definitive voice at times when words are not enough or just don’t seem right. No matter how powerful uttered words may be, an encouraging and loving embrace to demonstrate warmth and compassion to a grieving friend or relative in times of loss can mean so much more than any spoken word. 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 confirms: “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.”
However, silence has two sides to its coin and is not always the correct approach to adopt, especially in a close relationship. It can infer a reluctance to explain or provide the truth. It can confer that a partner may be ridden with guilt and has something to hide. It can cause a temporary or permanent breakdown in the free-flow of speech which may form the initial steps to failure in a partnership. Everyone makes mistakes, no one is infallible. Freedom of speech can keep a relationship alive. Faith and trust in one another is just as important as our faith and trust in God. Communication is of paramount importance in any relationship, especially when issues occur. The ability to discuss openly any apparent problem may ease the situation and allow both parties to listen to each other and understand differing viewpoints or actions. Finding a common ground in which to work from in the hope of a resolution is an essential factor in the language of love.
Conversely, it has also often been said that rushing in, where angels fear to tread, can sometimes create disastrous results. Actions or words uttered at inappropriate moments, that haven’t been given much thought, can do more harm than good. They can create distress, hurt and lower self-esteem to the inflicted. Ephesians 5:4 confirms: “Let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, which are out of place, but instead let there be thanksgiving.”
The language of love has two distinct advantages in life. It is not only regarded as meaningful communication and action between two or more persons, but perhaps more importantly it could be seen as a form of guidance from God as to how we should live a good and responsible life. Mark 12:28-31 reminds us: “And one of the scribes came up and heard them disputing with one another, and seeing that he answered them well, asked him, “Which commandment is the most important of all?” Jesus answered, “The most important is, ‘Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.”
Perhaps one of its most beneficial of usages is when words provide encouragement to others. Encouragement not only displays interest or motivation, it shows love. It is a caring aspect of life that may reinforce the needs of others. Gary Chapman, an American author and radio host once remarked: “Encouragement requires empathy and seeing the world from your spouse's perspective. We must first learn what is important to our spouse. Only then can we give encouragement. With verbal encouragement, we are trying to communicate, "I know. I care. I am with you. How can I help?" We are trying to show that we believe in him and in his abilities. We are giving credit and praise.”
Respect and value of another should always prevail in our everyday lives. That combined with the love for another that God wishes, can be considered as the basic foundation stone to a harmonious and fruitful life. Colossians 2:1- 5 confirms: “For I want you to know how great a struggle I have for you and for those at Laodicea and for all who have not seen me face to face, that their hearts may be encouraged, being knit together in love, to reach all the riches of full assurance of understanding and the knowledge of God's mystery, which is Christ, in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge. I say this in order that no one may delude you with plausible arguments. For though I am absent in body, yet I am with you in spirit, rejoicing to see your good order and the firmness of your faith in Christ.”
Amen.
